Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, I'm not Stephenie Meyer, and I also don't own the song.
A/N: I'm really sorry this is so late! I've been really…depressed…lately and it's been extremely difficult for me to write (not to mention my lack of time). I'm so grateful you guys are sticking with me and this story and I seriously love you all. Your reviews and comments are rays of sunshine breaking through the gray clouds over my head. Know that I appreciate and am thankful for all of you. I don't respond to all reviews (mostly the ones that are praise. I seriously don't know how to respond to praise…). Just know that every single review, be it praise, advice, or a flame (I think those are funny, if a little hurtful), each review/PM makes me grin and puts me in an extremely good mood all day. I know this is kinda sappy, and it's not the first time I've said all this, but I just wanted to make sure you all know how happy you all make me. : D
~Emmy
I really don't want to reread this and edit it so I'm not going to. Please excuse and grammatical or spelling errors.
Chapter 32: Calm Down, Bella
Song: Earth to Bella by Incubus (Best I could come up with)
Earth to Bella
You think you've got it all figured in
Earth to Bella
Everything you know is wrong (well almost)
Earth to Bella
I see where you are not listening
I bear the burden of being the voice that let's you know
We all grow old
And before you swim you've gotta be okay to sink
Earth to Bella
The world can be an unfriendly place
So hold your head up
And do your best to save some face
It's not so hard
Just undo yourself and see a second sun
ascend
I'm okay to sink
Ok to sink
I'm okay to sink
ok to sink
I'm okay to sink
Bella POV
"Bella, calm down. They're guys! There was just too much testosterone in the car! Well, wait. Do vampires still produce hormones? Hmm, I don't know. Either way, boys will be boys!" Alice was turned around to face me from her front seat in Rosalie's BMW. I was still fuming over Edward attacking Riley and was still rolling the idea of leaving over in my mind. Alice knew this because she kept getting visions of me and Riley leaving together. She was trying desperately to get me to change my mind. "And, hey! Now we know not to tell "your mom" jokes around Edward!" Alice said.
I called Edward's mind-reading power back to me. I felt pretty bad doing it; I'd always been big on privacy. It wasn't my business unless the person made it my business. But I knew Rosalie knew something, yet she wouldn't say anything. Alice had asked her why Edward was so uptight about "your mom" jokes but she was clenched her jaw and gripped the steering wheel tighter in response. I didn't have to call back Jasper's empathy to know she was mad. And that anger had to be about the issue of Edward and Riley.
So I put my morals aside for the moment to peak into Rosalie's mind.
That bastard. Setting Edward up like that! There is no possible way that's why Edward got so mad. He doesn't even remember his mother! He's never been bothered by anything like that! This is Riley. Riley must have said something else. But what? What would get Edward so mad? They only thing I can this of is-
"Bella!" Alice waved her hand in my face to get my attention. "Were you even listening to me?" I shook my head. Alice rolled her eyes. "I said that we should think about something else. More specifically, what were you thinking when you found out about your human life? We never got a chance to get into it."
Alice's suggestion made Rosalie crack a smile. I had lost the mind reading and didn't want to call it back again. I hated sticking my nose into other people's business, especially more than once.
"Goodness gracious, Bella! Can you not even stand to listen to me for a second? What were you thinking about when you found out you were a prostitute?" Alice said.
"Oh, well, first I was shocked. Then a little confused. I definitely wouldn't do anything of the sort now; what could have happened to make me do it back then? Then disbelief. I wouldn't have done that." I said. I said it with confidence, but inside, Emmett's story of my past shook me to the core. The shock and confusion were true, but I had absolutely no idea what happened in my human life. Me being a prostitute is just as likely as me being a CIA operative. It did explain how all the Cullen's seemed to know me.
And I eventually came to the conclusion that it didn't matter. That was then, this is now. As far as I'm concerned, I'm a virgin and plan to stay that way until I see fit. Which, honestly, didn't seem anytime soon/
"So you don't believe it?" Alice asked.
I shook my head. "Nope." It was only a half-truth.
"Oh good!" Alice bounced in her seat. Rosalie and I looked at her curiously. "Well, I don't believe it either. I just wanted to know if you did. But you don't! Which is good! Now we can really find out the truth!" Alice turned to Rosalie and raised an eyebrow. When she didn't get a response out of Rosalie, she continued. "Would you like to take it from here, Rose?" Rosalie looked between me and Alice, conflicted.
"Alice, it doesn't really matter. It's the past and it's behind all of us." I offered. I saw Rosalie roll her eyes. "What was that for? Have some people not put it behind them?" I asked. In the rearview mirror, I saw Rosalie's eyes grow wide. She didn't think I saw her previous gesture. "Have they?" I repeated.
"Well…let's just say that, at the moment, the past is very much in front of us, staring us down, demanding to be confronted." She averted her eyes from mine.
Alice looked at me, a wicked glint in her eye.
"Oh no. I know that look. Alice, what do you know that I don't and what are you going to do about it? Probably against my will…"
She turned to face the front. "Nothing." She said innocently.
"Alice." I gave her my warning-voice.
She turned back around, exasperated. "Nothing! I swear! You can even look into the future, I'm not doing anything!"
"If anyone knows how to get around your visions, it's you. You may not have anything in concrete yet, but the wheels in that little head of yours are turning faster than a hungry hummingbird." I stated.
"Well, before those wheels start turning, I have to have more information first," Alice said, then turned to Rosalie. "Could you elaborate anymore on Bella's past with you and your family?" Alice asked.
Rosalie looked unsure. "How about you ask questions and if I can't answer them then I won't, and if I feel I can then I will." She compromised.
"Deal!" Alice exclaimed excitedly. "Ok…ummm…do Bella and Edward have a history together?"
"Well, yeah. Bella has a history with all of us. We knew her before she was human." Rosalie answered, purposefully not answering Alice's intended question.
"Ok, Rosalie. We all know Edward and Bella had something together. Emmett claims it was a paid, sexual relationship, but it could have been as innocent as a couple of high school sweethearts. On a scale between high school sweethearts and a prostitute ring, where on that scale would you say they fell on?" Alice clarified.
Rosalie thought for a minute, stalling. "Well, definitely closer to the high school sweethearts side."
I gasped. I knew an answer like that was going to be said, but I still felt utter shock when I knew for a fact that Edward and I had a romantic history. I had been attracted to him. To him.
Not to say he's not attractive physically – he definitely is – but his personality really made him a downer. When we were back in the forest and I had empathy automatically because of Jasper, I felt huge waves of depression from Edward. But those just weren't emotions for the time and place, most were buried beneath the surface, on every layer from the very surface to as far deep as I could get an easy reading on. He was simply depressed, and he'd been that way for a while, it seems. Could I have really been with him when we were human? (A/N: Of course Bella doesn't think about the idea that when he lost her years ago he became depressed…silly Bella…)
"Okay! More questions!" Alice broke me from my thoughts. "How serious were they?"
Rosalie hesitated again. "I don't know if Edward wants you guys to know everything. Maybe wait for him to tell you." Rosalie suggested.
"He's not planning on doing that, Rosalie. In fact, he's going to be avoiding us for awhile." Alice said after a second.
Rosalie shrugged. "Then he doesn't want you to know and it's not my place to tell."
Alice huffed and folded her arms across her chest. She looked at Rosalie with askance then glared out the window like she was going to murder the next bug the flew by the car.
Rosalie laughed at her expression. "It's okay, Alice, I'm sure you guys will find everything else out eventually." Rosalie said.
Alice huffed and puffed again in response.
The rest of the drive to Oregon was filled with laughs, giggles, and girly conversations. A guy's worst nightmare.
"Good thing you made Jasper ride with Emmett." I said, close to our final destination.
Alice smiled and nodded in agreement. "Jasper doesn't make friends easily but I know they hit it off well." She said.
"That makes just two of us." I rolled my eyes, thinking about Edward and Riley's fight.
"Come on, we discussed this! Boys will be boys!" Alice said.
"Doesn't mean I have to like it." I said.
"True, very true." Alice said.
Rosalie came to a stop in front of a giant white house.
"Welcome home." Rosalie said.
"Finally." Alice beamed.
Home. Wouldn't that be nice.
A/N: Ok, I'm finding that I have zero time to write. Zero! So my goal is to put out one chapter a week. That's pretty regular, so I think it'll be good. But I must warn you, my chapters aren't going to be getting much longer. I simply can't right a chapter that's more than 8 pages written out. I think this was 6 pages in my notebook and 3 pages typed. Yeah, apparently my handwriting is huge…
I blame the lack of plot in this chapter on writer's block (I've noticed that whenever I try to type a "-ock" (such as block) I always type "ack" (like black) instead. I have no idea why, "o" and "a" are nowhere near each other on the keyboard…). I know the general direction where the story has to go, I just don't know how to get it there smoothly…*sigh*. I guess I'll figure it out…
~Emmy
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