Eriana stood in front of the armor rack in her room, staring blankly at the two sets of armor hanging in front of her. It was the morning of the Landsmeet, the day they had been working and preparing for for months, and Eriana should have been calm and confident. But instead, she found herself wracked with uncertainty, an uncertainty that manifested itself as she tried to decide between her old familiar drakescale armor and her new dragonbone armor. Deep down, she realized that, in the grand scheme of things, this decision was an insignificant one and that her indecision concerning her wardrobe was just her nerves messing with her, but that didn't comfort the petite elf as she tried to picture how the events of the Landsmeet would play out.

Initial appearances were important, and their very presence must communicate a number of things at once. Eriana had pictured their entrance into the Landsmeet chambers a thousand times. She and Alistair would walk in side by side; Alistair dressed in Cailan's iconic golden armor, wearing Duncan's shield on his back and Maric's sword at his side. She had already seen him in this look when she made him try it on the day before, and boy, was it an impressive sight. Where Cailan had looked pretentious and phony in the bulky, overly shiny armor, Alistair looked every inch the warrior king, strong and forceful. In fact, even Anora gasped when he walked in the door, dressed in the armor, regality and nobility pouring off him in waves. Anora glanced over at Eriana and said, with a grin, "Maybe this arrangement won't be so bad after all." Eriana stifled a giggle as she looked over Alistair, and even she had to admit, he looked good. The golden armor set off his amber colored eyes and sun-kissed complexion perfectly, making him look unbelievably handsome. There was no doubt; Alistair looked like a king in that armor.

Eriana would be beside Alistair, a reminder of the importance of the Wardens to the protection of the country, and Ramoth would be beside her, bathed (much to his chagrin) with a freshly painted kaddis. She hoped the mabari's presence would help tie her to Ferelden heritage and Ferelden strength in the eyes of the nobles since mabari were such an essential part of the nation's culture.

The three of them would be flanked by Ogren, who would be dressed in his Legion of the Dead armor, Wynne who would be dressed in her senior enchanter robes, and Zevran who would be donning Dalish leather armor and carrying her ironbark bow. This was another important image to Eriana, each of her companions representing one of the alliances that they had secured over the past year. It would remind the nobility of their dedication to stopping the Blight and of their ability to secure allies across the Nation. Only Leliana, Sten, Shale, and Morrigan would have to stay behind. Eriana was afraid the nobility would react negatively if Leliana arrived in support of the Wardens after she had spent the last month discreetly campaigning for them in the tavern. She was also afraid that the Chantry would take issue with the presence of an apostate mage in their group. And as for Sten and Shale, well, they just too intimidating, and their presence may be interpreted as an attempt to bully the nobility.

It was perfect; every detail was well-planned and set. Every detail except for one, and for some reason, Eriana couldn't come to a decision on her own wardrobe for the meeting. True, her new armor provided more protection and was more imposing, but it was bulkier than her older armor. She should probably wear the armor she was most comfortable in, but if she was going to fight Loghain, the extra protection may prove necessary. If the Landsmeet came down to a duel, she absolutely had to beat him. If she didn't….she didn't even want to consider the consequences.

"You know, as alluring as you are in a tunic and your smalls, I'm not sure how the nobility would react to your arriving to the Landsmeet wearing only that," Zevran said as he came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Why are you not changed yet, amora?" Eriana sighed and explained her dilemma to Zevran. "Hum, and is there a reason why you wouldn't wear the drakescale armor? I believe Wade said that your new armor would give you special protection from fire damage, and, as far as I know, Loghain has not yet developed the ability to breathe fire, yes?"

Eriana laughed and leaned back against his chest. "You're right, Zev. It's just…I just want to be sure, to make sure every angle is covered because if I fail…" Eriana took a deep breath. "If I fail, then Loghain will kill me; then he will execute Alistair and probably Riodran." Her breaths started to come more quickly and shallowly. "And if we're gone, there's no hope for Ferelden; the darkspawn will destroy everything and everyone." Suddenly she turned to look at Zevran, her eyes wide with fear. "Zevran, please, promise me. If I fail, promise me that you will leave. Take my family and leave. Go to Orlais or the Waking Sea, anywhere where there are other Wardens. Tell them we failed, that they will have to defeat the horde after it has decimated Ferelden." Her breath was coming in desperate gasps now. "Oh, Maker, all those people…so much is riding on this. What was I thinking? I'm just an elf; why would they listen to me? So many people will die, and it will all be my fault."

Zevran pulled her close to his chest. "Breathe, Ana, breathe," he whispered to her, taking long slow breaths. "Just match my breathing, amora, and breathe when I breathe." As she struggled to catch her breath, Zevran gently brushed the hair back off her face with one hand, the other firmly resting on her chest, urging her slow down. She felt his head on her shoulder as he murmured calming words in her ear. Slowly, but surely, her breathing slowed. "Good, mia cara, good. You have fought with men like Loghain, and have trained with men who fight as he does. Now, I want you to close your eyes and picture Loghain. He is standing in the Landsmeet chamber, and you are directly in front of him. Do you see it?" She nodded. "Good, what are you wearing?"

"The drakescale."

"And in your hands?"

"Fang and Duncan's sword."

"Now Loghain is standing before you, shield raised and sword out. What happens next?"

Eriana took a deep breath, "He brandishes his sword and bellows some war cry before charging at me. I pretend to be intimidated and allow him to get close. He'll be charging full speed toward me, wanting to end it quickly. He raises his sword above his head, and that's when I move. I feint behind him, bringing by dagger up to the weak points in his armor beneath his arm. I just need to graze the skin there, giving the poison a chance to work. His momentum will carry him past me a bit, giving me a chance to move around behind him. He'll turn the, probably leading with his shield, so I'll need to roll back, out of his way and block the sword that will follow the shield. Then I methodically wear him down, drawing him close, but staying just out of his reach. I can't let him get a solid hit on me, but I need to keep him moving, wear him down, but preserve my strength. Once he begins to falter to slow, I pick up the pace. He'll be too tired and slow to match my movements, and the poison should be through his body by this point, dulling his senses. Finally, our swords lock, and I am able to knock his away, using the momentum to carry him to the ground."

Eriana opened her eyes and turned toward Zevran who was smiling wickedly. "Um, my deadly vixen, you have no idea how sexy you are when you are like this. It is such a shame we have somewhere to be because if we didn't I would ravish you right here and now." Eriana started to respond, but Zevran up a finger to her lip, silencing her for a moment. She grinned at him before taking her finger into her mouth and pulling on it for a moment before slowly drawing it out. Giving him a coy smile, she placed a light kiss on the tip of his finger.

"Are you quite sure we don't have time? I could use the stress relief."

Zevran groaned "Alas, I am afraid so. I suppose we will just have something to look forward to this evening, no? Now, as much as I am loath to put more clothing on you, I believe we need to get you into the armor before Alistair comes looking for us."

Eriana smiled up at him. "Do you really think I can do this?"

Zevran took her gently into his arms, "There is no way I would let you out of this room if I believed any differently. Now, let us go before the fate of the nation is decided without us, no?"

The Landsmeet went off exactly as Eriana had imagined. The nobility responded perfectly to Alistair and her as they entered the chambers, several of them marveling about the uncanny resemblance between Alistair and the late King Maric. Loghain's arguments seemed solid at first but were proven weak when compared to the damning evidence that Eriana presented. When it came time to vote, the Wardens won in a landslide with only one or two of the nobles throwing their lot in with the Regent. As Eamon predicted, Loghain did not accept defeat gracefully, but demanded that they settle the matter through a duel. Eriana could practically hear Alistair's thoughts, begging her to allow him to take on Loghain himself, but this was her duty, her responsibility.

That was how she found herself deciding the fate of Loghain Mac Tir, Hero of River Dane, Teyrn of Gwaren, Regent of Ferelden.

Taking a deep breath, Eriana looked down at defeated human. "Loghain Mac Tir, your actions at Ostagar directly led to the death of King Cailan and the decimation of the King's army and the destruction of the Ferelden Grey Wardens. Without these forces, Lothering and much of southern Ferelden fell to the darkspawn and succumbed to the Taint. You then sought the deaths of the only two people in the nation who could bring an end to the Blight. You condoned the torture of political opponents and attempted to murder Arl Eamon. You allowed your citizens to be sold into slavery to support your political ambition. These are grievous offences; the punishment for such is death." Loghain bowed his head as Eriana stepped forward, her sword drawn. To the side, Anora began to cry, pleading for her father's life. The sound of the Queen's distress cut through Eriana, drawing her mind back to the warehouse where she had fought the Tevinter mage, already believing her father lost. Quickly she pushed the thought from her mind, focusing on the unpleasant task at hand.

"Wait," Riordan said, stepping forward through the crowd, "there is another option. The tyren is a warrior and a general of great renown. Let him be of use; let him go through the joining."

Eriana glanced up at the senior Warden, confused. "What? You want me to make him a Warden? Why?"

"There are three of us in Ferelden, and we are facing a Blight, as you well know. And there are…compelling reasons to have as many Wardens on hand as possible when dealing with the archdemon."

Compelling reasons…and there it was. The tone of Riordan's voice told her everything she needed to know. Three Wardens in all of Ferelden. Two of them were expendable, one was not. Anora and Alistair were both talking to her, but Eriana heard none of it. In her mind, she kept repeating, two expendable…two expendable. She glanced over to where Zevran was standing, wearing an expression that seemed to scream, "Do it, please, do it."

She sighed, "Okay Riordan."

Beside her, Alistair exploded. "Are you serious! I can't believe you are even seriously considering this. Joining the Wardens is an honor, not a punishment. Name him a Warden and you cheapen us all."

"Alistair, please, think about things for just a moment. Our duty is to stop the Blight, whatever the cost."

"No, I will not stand beside this man as a brother. I won't," Alistair shouted at him.

Eriana grabbed him by the arm and pulled him to the side. "Don't be a fool, Alistair," she hissed. "The only senior Warden in the country has asked us to put him through the Joining, and he said that there were compelling reasons. If that doesn't sound like an ugly Grey Warden secret, then I don't know what is. As much as I hate it, we may need him."

Alistair glared down at her. "He...is...a...traitor," he said, punctuating each word. "We need him like we need a knife in the back."

"Please, Alistair."

"No, you do this, and we're through. I will not fight alongside that traitor. Make your choice sister; it's either him or me."

Eamon cleared his throat and stepped forward. "Warden, we need a decision."

Eriana gave Alistair a final, pleading look before turning toward the assembled lords of Ferelden and announcing her final decision. Alistair and Anora would rule as King and Queen, Loghain would undergo the Joining.

Taking a deep breath, Eriana opened the door and walked into the room where her companions were waiting for her. She and Riordan had left the Landsmeet with Loghain so that they could perform the Joining in private while Alistair and Anora met with the nobility. Now that it was over, she wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and sleep for a long time, but she knew she needed to talk to Alistair first. He would be angry with her, but she hoped that he would listen and try to understand.

As soon as she opened the door, Anora rose and rushed to her side, her face pale and drawn with worry. "He lives. He is resting now, but you may go see him."

Anora let out a deep breath and gave Eriana a relieved smile. "Warden, thank you so…."

Eriana cut her off, "Don't thank me, Your Majesty. I did not do this for you, or for him for that matter. I did it because it was what's best for Ferelden, despite my personal feelings for your father."

Anora nodded, "All the same, I am grateful to you for giving him this chance." Eriana nodded and glanced around the room. "He isn't here, but he would like to speak to you before we leave to meet the army at Redcliffe. He is waiting for you in Eamon's study. Now, if you will excuse me, I think I will go to my father."

Eriana watched as the Queen left before glancing back at her companions, whose faces were a combination of anger, confusion, and disinterest. Only Zevran's face showed any compassion. How she wished he would take her into his arms and help her forget everything that had happened, but they both knew that Alistair needed to be dealt with first. Sighing to herself, Eriana turned to head for the Arl's study.

Alistair was waiting for her with his back to the door, staring ahead into the fire. She noticed that he seemed to tense up when she entered, but he didn't turn to look at her. "Alistair?"

"Ah, so the great hero has finally decided to grace me with her presence," sneered Alistair, every word dripping with bitterness and hatred. "Come to congratulate me on being elected King, or perhaps it was on my engagement to a woman who will remind me of her father every time I look at her."

"Alistair, please."

"How could you?" he growled, finally turning to look at her, his handsome face contorted with rage. "After all we've been through, how could you choose him over me? I thought we had something. I thought we were friends."

"Alistair we are; if you…"

"No!" he shouted, quickly closing the distance between them. Eriana backed away from him until her back was against the wall. She had never seen him this angry before. "You are no friend of mine, elf." Eriana flinched as he glared down at her. "Friends don't stab friends in the back. You are not my friend. You're just a treacherous, knife-eared bitch who used me."

Biting back tears, Eriana glanced up at him, "Alistair, try to understand; for a moment, please think about this clearly…"

"I am thinking clearly; perhaps for the first time in my life, I see things clearly. You used me. You played with my emotions to keep me around because you needed me, and now that you don't need me anymore, you turn on me. I can't believe I ever had feelings for you, but now I see you for the selfish bitch you truly are."

Eriana stared up at him, unable to respond to his harsh words.

"Just tell me this, elf. Did I really mean so little to you that you were able to throw away our friendship for a man who was trying to kill us? Did you ever really even care for me at all?"

"Alistair, of course I cared for you. I still do. I did this with the hopes that we would both live through this, that one day we might be able to work past this."

Alistair laughed bitterly, "I will NEVER get over this, and I will never forgive you. Don't even try to pretend you had any thought for me when you did this because if you had thought about me even a little bit, you would have killed Loghain the moment he surrendered. But instead you made him one of us. The man who killed Duncan is one of us."

"Yes, he is. He is a Grey Warden, not a Pure White Warden, not a Black City Warden, a Grey Warden. Sparing him may wrong Duncan and those who fell at Ostagar, but if it is the right thing to do for Fereldan and Thedas as a whole, then it is the right thing for us to do. We are charged with stopping the Blight, not with satisfying personal vendettas. If having Loghain in the Wardens means we can stop the Blight and have you alive at the end, then it's the right thing to do."

"What are you talking about?"

"It's nothing…just…look, before there were two of us, Riordan and I between you and the archdemon, now there are three."

"Don't pretend that you did this for me. You have never done anything for me. Everything you have done as been for you because that it was the easy thing for you. You were afraid to develop feelings for me, so you ended things to protect yourself. You didn't want to want to deal with your true feelings so you ran to that assassin. You have always thought about yourself, so don't lie to me and tell me that you did this for me."

Eriana sighed, trying hard to keep from breaking down. "I know you're angry at me, Alistair, and I don't blame you. But hear me out for just a moment."

"No. I am done listening to you, and I am done with this. I want nothing to do with you or the Grey Wardens anymore. I'm finished." With that, Alistair turned and walked away and out of her life, slamming the door behind him.

A sob escaped from her, shaking her entire body as she slid down the wall. Pulling her knees to her chest, he buried her head in her arms and let the tears flow freely. She knew deep down that she had done the right thing, that she needed as many Wardens between the archdemon and the king as possible. If she had to do it over again, she'd do the exact same thing. But that didn't change the fact that it cost her Alistair, her best friend and brother in arms. In doing what was necessary, she had hurt one of people she cared about the most in this world. Try as she might, she couldn't shake the memory of Alistair's face from her mind. Never before had he looked at her with such anger, such hate. Never before had he called her those names. He was lost to her, maybe forever. It was too much for her to take, so she stayed there, curled up in a ball, crying into her hands.

Soon, a familiar pair of arms wrapped around her as Zevran pulled her into his lap, cradling her against his chest. He didn't say anything; he just held her and caressed her as she mourned the loss of her friend.

Thanks to everyone for sticking around. I know it's been a while since I updated. I'm on fall break this week, so I'll probably be able to get a few chapters up (maybe even finish). Remember, the Maker smiles on those who review! Thanks!