Disclaimer: Please see chapter one.
Notes: A million thanks to Chesh for the read through/beta help.
Chapter Thirty-Six
They stood on the flight deck, waiting. Bimmah's inert form lay motionless at their feet, and despite the thick aura of expectation in the air, their faces remained expressionless.
Having never transported before, Bimmah was too terrified of the prospect to be taken conscious. Though they'd tried to explain to her that she wouldn't be harmed, the moment they'd gotten to the part of the explanation about the molecule scrambling (something they regretted trying to explain in retrospect), she'd broken down into another fit of hysterics.
They weren't Ellizas. They had neither the inclination nor the cruelty to forcibly pin the girl down and try and inject her with sedatives against her will as the Jehnz-yin brother and sister had. The two Starfleet officers simply waited for her to regain her calm, retreating back to their own part of the ship. It was Bimmah who had sedated herself – without informing the two of them before she'd done it. There had been a tense moment this morning when Kathryn had gone to Bimmah's room to check on her and discovered her lying on the floor, limbs akimbo and a glass of the juice she'd requested spilled all over the space beside her bed, right next to the crude hypospray of sedatives they'd left her to use at her own discretion. Janeway had feared the worst, but a check of the girl's Jehnz-yin pulse, once the captain had been able to locate it, affirmed that she was still alive. They could only guess that Bimmah had forgotten how swiftly those sedatives took effect. Fortunately, she hadn't appeared to have harmed herself with the subsequent fall to the floor.
They assumed Bimmah had taken the sedatives to spare herself the trauma of transport, but neither one of them was particularly pleased she'd done it without informing them of her intentions. Still, it didn't change anything now. They had no means of awakening her, and they'd agreed to take her to rendezvous with General Rimaz's ship. They would hold up their end of the bargain. Chakotay had carried Bimmah out to the flight deck, where he and Kathryn stood waiting now.
After several more moments of unbroken, reflective silence, three gleaming spots of metal appeared on the deck before them. By unspoken agreement Janeway was the first to move, stepping unsteadily forward to retrieve the three commbadges. For a moment after she straightened, she stood in the center of the deck, fingering the familiar design with the tiniest hint of a smile on her lips, although by the time she turned again to face him, her expression was blank.
Until this morning, they hadn't really known that the Jehnz-yin had been on the level about returning them to their ship. They'd operated under the belief that they would be returned, but until Voyager had appeared on sensors, tiny parts of both of them had been resolving themselves to accepting that they had been lied to all along. That Voyager really had cleared the area, and that Ellizas and Nyra had wanted them off planet before arranging for them to be killed in space, where they might be able to cover up evidence in their involvement more easily. Now, with concrete proof in her hand of the finality of their return, it was a moment to breathe a small sigh of relief as the tiny doubts were dispelled.
She held out one of the badges for him, and, as his fingers brushed the open palm of her hand, relinquished it. Turning, she bent down to pin a second one on Bimmah's chest.
It only took that long.
"Tuvok to Captain Janeway."
The glance they shared this time was most significant. Tearing her gaze away from Chakotay with some effort, Janeway tapped the badge she'd affixed to her own chest. "Janeway here," she acknowledged quietly. A small thrill of excitement humming through her. God, it felt good to be able to do that again. Even if this situation felt like a tragic rewrite of a few years ago in so many ways.
"It's good to hear your voice again, Tuvok," she assured him quietly. Sincerely. The glance Chakotay offered her then brought a tiny smile to her lips as he nodded, surprised, she could see, because he agreed with her.
Tuvok had not been permitted to record a reply to their single message, so it was the first time in three months that they'd heard any familiar voice from Voyager.
"And it is good to hear yours, Captain. We're ready to initiate transport on your command."
On her command. She swallowed the emotion in the back of her throat. "Beam the Jehnz-yin life sign directly to Sickbay first. I want the doctor to have a look at her, but assign her a security escort – I want her monitored at all times, Tuvok. I don't trust her."
"Acknowledged."
Bimmah shimmered, then disappeared.
And they were alone. Truly alone, for the first time in three weeks. The open comm link however, was noted by both. So as they stood side by side, much as they had almost three years ago, their eyes met in silence. Communicated just as much as they had the first time they'd been in this situation, exchanged everything they needed to without words.
This time, Kathryn reached out a hand to him. With a smile, Chakotay took it. Clasped it briefly in his.
He released her hand, and they both dropped their arms back to their sides as she faced forward again.
"We're ready, Tuvok," she declared.
The craved tingling sensation appeared and vanished, and then they were there. And it was silent.
She'd expected the transporter room to be packed, filled to the brim with noisy, cheering crewmen. She and Chakotay had preconceived the welcoming party down to the small details. Who would be where and how they would be crammed into the tiny room. What they would be saying, and how difficult it would be to understand any one of them as they all talked over each other in their excitement. Possibly, though, they would all have cheered in unison. Perhaps the transporter room doors would have to be open in order to accommodate more of them, spilling out into the corridor outside, they'd envisioned. Not because it was particularly what she or Chakotay would have wanted, but because they assumed the crew would have rallied around the occasion, using it to offset what must have been a spirit-crushing few months in this dark part of space.
She'd expected to have the inevitable excitement of the crew's boisterous greeting to buffer this moment.
Instead, they met silence. Only Tuvok and Ayala stood in the room, Ayala manning the controls, staring at them in open awe, and Tuvok waiting impassively below, standing in front of the raised control platform. Both men remaining silent for an interminable moment. She must look like hell, she realized absently, to have the two men so apparently speechless, and then she was summoning the smile spreading across her features without conscious effort.
Otherwise, Janeway had a half second to note the absolute appropriateness of the greeting pairing, to indulge in a swift visual sweep of the beloved walls and bulkheads before she inhaled, her twitching nostrils chasing the scent of home they instinctively sought, and the instant she did, the most peculiar sensation she could remember experiencing upon returning to her ship enveloped her as she stepped forward – a flash of suffocation as the unseen mantle descended once more upon her shoulders.
And it took her by complete surprise. Because she'd forgotten just how heavy it was. How well squeezed her innards were under its invisible mass and how grounded she was by the weight of the assumption – like gravity redoubled. Her smile froze in place, and in the process of stepping forward to greet them, she hesitated before actually stumbling just a half step backward.
Across the room, Lieutenant Ayala, who was never much of a talker by any standards, had been further moved towards silence by the sheer momentousness of the occasion. He had been content to draw in the appearance of the command team for several long seconds, to carefully note the way they looked worse for wear as he scrutinized them with a mixture of relief, concern and pleasure. It felt like it had been years instead of months, he thought to himself as he regarded them. And from the looks of them, their experience had been anything but a pleasure cruise these past few months. Chakotay was unshaven and even gaunt, by his standards, the dark circles under his eyes matching those of the captain's. She also was dreadfully thin and sporting obvious scars along the visible parts of her. As he watched her move forward, the oddest of expressions crossed her face, and she stumbled. He instinctively tensed, wanting to help her avert the disaster of a fall that seemed imminent, though he of course couldn't behind the transporter controls, but then Chakotay's hand on her arm steadied her immediately, and Ayala exhaled slowly. Chakotay hadn't even seemed to be looking at her, but his movement was swift. His hand withdrew immediately, and the casualest of comments from the first officer were actually the first spoken words passed among the four in the transporter room.
"We should get that leg looked at as soon as possible, Captain," Chakotay intoned calmly. And as she turned to look at him, her expression blank and inward, there was the barest flicker in his eyes only she could read that seemed snapped her out of it – whatever it was that had caused her uncharacteristic hesitation, and Ayala was finally moved to speak now that the silence was broken for him.
"Welcome back, Captain. Commander," he managed at last past the shock of actually seeing them standing in front of him.
"Indeed," Tuvok was agreeing. He too had waited until that moment to speak, but the Vulcan's motivations for the delay were anyone's guess. How he felt about their ungainly appearances was impossible to gage, too. He remained, to all appearances, impassive. Unsurprisingly.
"Thank you," the command team replied automatically, almost in sync as they both stepped down now from the transporter padd.
"What? No greeting party?" Janeway inquired wryly, as the limp she was working through became evident to both officers and she seemed to feel the need to distract the two men from staring at her in concern.
Chakotay only stayed close by, keeping his arm in a subtle position that would allow her to take it if she felt the need but she didn't do so. Instead, she moved straight for Tuvok, allowing herself to reach out a hand and rest it on his arm.
"I had thought you and the commander might appreciate a moment to yourselves upon your return," the Vulcan explained.
"Ah." Janeway's eyes sparkled. "That was thoughtful of you, Commander. It's good to see you. Both of you," she stressed, her eyes rising to find Ayala's over the controls. The younger man nodded, his eyes drawn to Chakotay's, who also greeted him warmly before Janeway spoke up again, "Status?" And this time, her tone was all business, the warmth and personality that had been infusing her voice fading into the background.
"All systems functioning normally. We have received the supplies from General Rimaz and have been making use of them. The military has made no attempt to engage us, either verbally or physically, but we are maintaining a yellow alert until we've cleared this part of space." Janeway nodded approvingly at this revelation, and he continued, "Our Oncaveat passengers remain in relative good health as well, and are residing in cargo bays one and two."
"They're still here?" Chakotay inquired in surprise. The hint of warning at the back of his question.
Tuvok nodded. "We were unable to make our way to a planet suitable for relocation and had hoped to find one just outside the Jenhz-yin borders. The latest long range scans have indicated several possible sites for consideration."
Janeway nodded slowly, digesting the information and sorting it all into relevant courses of action and necessary questions. "How long until we reach the border?"
"At our current course and heading, we will pass out of Jehnz-yin territory within two weeks. We are holding position just long enough to bring you aboard. Shall I have the Jehnz-yin cruiser tractored into the shuttlebay?"
Janeway and Chakotay shared another brief look before Chakotay answered for both of them. "No. We have no way of knowing the ship isn't equipped to somehow damage Voyager, and we'd prefer not to place our trust in the Jehnz-yin any more than we absolutely have to."
It was Tuvok's turn to nod approvingly. "Understood, Commander. Captain." The Vulcan looked uncomfortable for the briefest of moments before venturing, "While I'm certain you both wish to avail yourselves of the sonic shower at the earliest opportunity," Janeway and Chakotay passed a rather chagrined look between them at the Vulcan's entirely undelicate way of reminding them they'd had no showers aboard the Jehnz-yin ship, "I must ask that our first stop be to Sickbay."
The two officers had colored, for a variety of different reasons. It wasn't as if they were filthy or anything, they both thought indignantly. They'd sparingly used the water available to bathe themselves, of course. But apparently, the Vulcan's nose was sensitive enough to have noticed the difference – to have noticed immediately. Further, they both knew precisely why Tuvok was insisting upon one location being their first stop, before anywhere else, and it had to do with more than their gaunt appearances.
"You want to ensure that we haven't been compromised during our time away from the ship," Kathryn acknowledged dryly. "We haven't been, but I don't suppose that's going to deter you…"
"Indeed, it will not. Nor do I truly believe that you would want me to be so easily swayed from following a sound security measure, Captain."
She sighed. Because, damn him, she'd been looking forward to a cup of coffee, more than anything else…
Not that it was prudent, considering the strain on ships' resources anyway, she ruefully admitted to herself. It wasn't something she could even justify, considering. And she also knew full well that, once the doctor got his photonic claws into the scans she knew he was going to take, she wouldn't likely see the outside of Sickbay's sterile walls for several hours afterward.
"I'm sure it won't be that bad, Captain," Chakotay murmured, the hint of a smile on his lips once again.
"All right. Let's get this over with," she more groaned than replied. Straightening her head and squaring her shoulders as Tuvok gestured for the command team to precede him out of the tiny room. "At least I'm going to have a cell mate this time," she whispered triumphantly at her first officer as the doors opened and–
The cheer that greeted them nearly knocked both officers back on their heels. They both froze, their jaws dropping open before they could catch themselves, and needing a full minute to take in the incongruous sight before them.
Instead of the beige they'd been expecting, the bulkheads were lined with black, red, yellow and blue; the corridor outside the transporter room was wallpapered over with the officers neither had seen in months but had so keenly missed, and their enthusiastic greetings and applause was like a thunderous wave of sound and spectacle neither one of them had been prepared for…
"You sneaky Vulcan bastard," Janeway actually hissed out of the corner of her broad, warmed to the core smile so that only he and Chakotay could hear her over the din of the crowd, "you could have warned us…"
"You are correct, Captain. I could have," the Vulcan bastard in question agreed impassively. Confirming her suspicion that he'd known exactly what awaited them outside the transporter room doors. "But logic dictated that would have ruined the surprise."
She had time only to shoot him a look promising he'd pay for this, somehow and some way, before they had to step forward out of necessity to greet their crew, and the crowd all but overwhelmed them.
Seeing Naomi Wildman at the center of the pack was touching, and the grin splitting her pretty little face was like a beacon in the crowd, drawing the command team forward. But even more heart-rending than her enthusiasm was the immediate realization that the girl was proudly clutching two steaming mugs, one in each of her small little hands.
Out of years of instilled respect, discipline, the boisterous crowd managed to restrain themselves somewhat as the command team approached her.
"Crewman Wildman," Janeway acknowledged officially, lips twitching in that indulgent smile that always wanted to spread over her lips at the sight of Naomi. "Dare I ask what you have there?"
"Coffee – of course. And herbal tea for the commander." Naomi beamed through her carefully proper affect, handing the mugs to their respective intended recipients, who took them automatically. "We thought you would be thirsty, Captain," she solemnly explained.
Janeway's heart fractured that tiny little bit at the girl's thoughtfulness. Naomi had always been like that. Sam had done a wonderful job of raising her, a feat for any Starfleet officer on active duty, much less a single parent. She took a second to flash a swift smile at the woman in question, who stood back against the wall just behind her daughter. Then, because Kathryn couldn't physically get down to the girl's level and make it back to her feet without falling, the captain settled for cupping the girl's up-turned face in her free left hand. "Thank you. That's exactly what I wanted. And it was very thoughtful of you." Her lips and tongue begged her to indulge as the steam sent luring siren calls to her olfactory senses and her mouth watered ridiculously, but the stirrings of guilt kept Kathryn from drinking as she stared longingly into the cup, and she sighed. "But I don't think I should," she imparted confidentially. Sadly, at having to reject the gift. "This is probably worth rations we shouldn't be wasting on non-essentials right now."
"Commander Tuvok said you'd say that," Naomi laughed, unconcerned and sharing a look with the Vulcan who remained patiently beside the command team. "Don't worry, Captain. It was sort of his idea… He said to tell you that, since you and the commander haven't been here the last three months, you have some rations owed to you."
The revelation brought sharp tears to Janeway's eyes, but she swallowed them back, turning to shoot Tuvok a raised eyebrow as she shook her head. She still hadn't quite forgiven him for the ambush, and she pointedly mouthed, "Emotional."
"No, Captain," Tuvok had to defend himself, his expression flickering at the accusation. "Logical."
Janeway wasn't buying it, however. "I'm still not sure I agree with your 'logic'…"
"Drink the coffee, Kathryn," Chakotay ordered calmly, already sipping at his own craved tea and patting Naomi's head appreciatively in gratitude. He swallowed, an expression of satisfaction melting into his eyes, but continued to address his comments to Janeway, "You know the doctor's not going to make it through the next few hours if you don't."
She hadn't completely agreed with him, but, seeing that she was outnumbered, had relented and indulged, to Naomi's delight. That alone had made it worth it.
Now, hearing a hiss and feeling something at her neck, she drew slowly back into the land of the waking and had no choice but to agree with Chakotay as her unconscious reflections faded. She could tell from the grogginess, the haze over her brain that she'd been out for more than the half hour the doctor had projected before sedating her, and her annoyance was flaring immediately.
"Welcome back, Captain." Tom's familiar voice was her welcoming comment as she opened her eyes, and it was the second time today he'd used that particular phrase – it had better be the second time today, she vowed. But her helmsman's voice was lacking in a certain enthusiasm it had held when they'd first arrived, she thought…
The doctor's solicitous visage replaced Tom's over her, taking over her thoughts as Tom moved out of her line of sight.
"You said it would only be a half hour, at most," Kathryn growled immediately, her voice still thickened from sleeping as she stared at him. "So why do I feel like I just slept eight hours?"
"It was more like five." This did nothing to dilute the glare she leveled at him, but the EMH had developed somewhat of an immunity by now. If he hadn't, he would never have been able to do his job properly, and besides that, some perverse streak in his programming actually had him glad to be seeing it, considering that he'd believed he never would again. "Aside from it being the only way I could ensure the two of you had at least some decent rest, you have the Jehnz-yin 'medical community' to thank for the long delay. The first two hours was spent simply undoing what their doctors had done. Your femur had to be re-sculpted. Some of the nerves in your left leg had to be removed because they were so damaged from the previous efforts to repair them." He scowled. "I essentially had to re-break you just so that we could properly fix you."
"Don't be too hard on them, Doc," Tom suggested quietly, still out of her line of sight. "Without them, I don't think she'd be sitting here right now at all."
"I understand that," the doctor grudgingly agreed, not exactly brightening at the thought. But then, neither had any of his organic counterparts. And no one needed to dwell on that, he realized. He turned back to his patient. "How are you feeling?" the EMH asked, almost overly kindly.
She blinked up at him, scowling ever so slightly. Just because it felt like the natural thing to do in her current position, which was on her back, staring up at her chief medical officer.
She could at least remedy one of the two conditions, she decided, finally feeling up to pushing herself upright and doing so quickly, before he could warn her against it. "That depends," she grunted in answer as the tender muscles of her leg were jostled in the rising, "on what your findings are."
Knowing she'd ignore him, the doctor didn't even bother trying to stop her. He gritted his programmed teeth and resolved himself to watching with chagrin as she had difficulty in shifting her weight. Once she'd settled herself somewhat more comfortably, he felt free to announce, "Well, the good news is that you and the commander are indeed yourselves."
"We knew that, Doctor," she mumbled, still trying to see straight under the bright lights through the glaze in her eyes. Her hand going to her forehead to chase away a vague, position-induced tension.
"Yes, but we didn't," he replied smugly. "The other good news, as you've probably surmised, is that we've managed to fix the majority of your injuries while you were unconscious."
"Then what's the bad news, Doctor?" Chakotay's voice asked, seemingly out of nowhere. Recovering more slowly, he was just groggily sitting up to the steadying hand of Tom Paris, who had administered a mild stimulant to counteract the sedatives in the commander's bloodstream.
Glancing over for the first time, Kathryn was surprised to see her first officer sitting on the bio-bed beside her, having assumed he'd have been released well before her, but she didn't have time to address the questions flitting through her mind, her attention once more drawn to the doctor, who was still focused on her.
His expression had turned decidedly grim. "If you hadn't made it back to Voyager, Captain, you'd have been dead within the year."
"What?" That caught her attention more fully than anything else he'd said so far. She exchanged a glance with Chakotay, who paled and swallowed before his gaze flicked back to neutral, and then she looked to Tom, whose eyes were cast down at the biobed in silent confirmation of the doctor's words. She turned back to him. "How…?"
"You were in the intermediate stages of liver failure when you arrived," the doctor expanded solemnly. "In fact, there was oxygen deprivation damage to most of your internal organs, including your brain, heart and kidneys, but it was your liver that was most severely affected. I'll assume you were in a moderate amount of pain?"
"Moderate," she reluctantly admitted.
"Bruising easily?"
That brought a dry chuckle from her. "It would have been hard to notice through the scars."
"Slight personality changes? Difficulty thinking clearly?"
The pain, she'd felt mostly everywhere and, after a while, hadn't noticed much anymore. As for the rest of it… She couldn't help thinking back to the moments when she'd first awoken on Ghanza Prime. The difficulties in recalling the specifics she'd wanted to remember.
Chakotay's head had turned to her, his expression somewhat stricken. And she knew she hadn't shared any of those smaller concerns with him, not having wanted to worry him any more than he had been already, but the personality changes she knew he'd noted. And they'd both chalked it up to psychological trauma, though Janeway felt that was too strong a term for her uncharacteristic hesitations towards the chancellor (and other things), but… Had there been an underlying physical concern fueling her difficulties, as well? A much more sinister one than either she or Chakotay had guessed?
It seemed so, from the doctor's words.
He took their silence as answer enough for his purposes and harrumphed. "There was no indication that the damage to your internal organs was addressed. Apparently, the Jehnz-yin 'doctors'," his lip curled in distaste, "weren't aware of the extent of the damage they had suffered."
"They were aware, Doctor," Chakotay corrected quietly. "The physician mentioned the liver damage. I'm just not sure they knew how to address it. Or how serious it was."
"I see. Well, we've repaired the damage now, of course…" He noted the somber atmosphere in the room, and though there was good enough reason for the dampened aura, he didn't think it strictly healthy for his two patients. Straightening, he deliberately looked to Chakotay with somewhat of a more cheerful air. "Commander, I'm pleased to inform you that you are fit to return to duty. While I would prefer to order you to your quarters for at least two full weeks of rest – not to mention a few decent meals," he saw the objection forming on the commander's face with a resolute sigh, "I'm well aware of how likely it is that's going to happen, given the current situation."
"How badly does he need it, Doctor?" Janeway cut in.
"I'd prefer it. But I don't believe it's life-threatening for him to be reinstated to active duty," the EMH admitted grudgingly.
"Chakotay?" she prompted, her focus on him across from her.
He gave her a small, reassuring nod. "I'm up to it, Captain. From Tuvok's briefing on the way here, the crew has everything pretty much in hand already. I can at least get started catching up on reports, though."
She nodded, satisfied with his answer, which from him was likely to be honest. "Return him to duty, Doctor," she ordered.
The hologram sagged slightly. "Very well. There are some discharge conditions, however. You can head into my office while Ensign Paris explains them to you in greater detail." At the odd instruction, nowhere near smoothly delivered, both Janeway and Chakotay stared at him, and he sighed deeply. "I need to speak with the captain in private regarding the rest of her prognosis." Forestalling the immediate question he could read on Chakotay's lips before he spoke, the hologram assured, "I expect her to make a complete recovery within the next few weeks, Commander."
Chakotay nodded, accepting that. He gratefully pushed himself to his feet, feeling surprisingly steady on them and offering a small smile to his rather forlorn-looking captain as Tom gathered the PADD he'd been entering his final readings into and followed him to the designated room.
Once they were alone, Janeway turned to the EMH resolutely. He looked like a man that had something he needed to discuss but had no idea how to go about bringing it up. Feeling the weight of a small stone sinking into her stomach at his facial expression, she all but sighed deeply, just as he had moments before. "I suppose you want to discuss some of the less grievous injuries you discovered."
The hologram, for once, was mostly compassion. "They weren't entirely surprising. There was the broadcast General Xi made. I had the dubious duty of observing…much of what took place." At her tightening expression, he offered an apologetic, "I'm sorry, but I had no choice, Captain. I needed to know how to treat you. Knowing what to expect would have cut down on much of the diagnostic preliminaries once we got you back."
She nodded curtly, her chin lifting but her expression entirely inscrutable this time. "I understand," was all she offered.
She also understood that strange current of awkwardness she'd thought she'd felt running through Tom's voice when she'd awoken. And his odd quietness. As though he'd been deliberately staying to Chakotay's side instead of hers the whole time and not quite meeting her eyes or interjecting into the conversation as often as he normally would have. It was in sharp contrast to his more characteristic, upbeat greeting of them when they'd first arrived in Sickbay, and Kathryn realized he'd probably seen the faint injuries the doctor was so concerned about now, too.
She didn't fully understand the reasoning behind the slap of mortification that realization produced in her system, but she knew it wasn't entirely grounded in logic and forced the thought into the back of her mind to deal with later…if ever.
"Unfortunately, it's been so long that it's not entirely clear from scans. We detected…injuries. Many of them seem to have healed naturally, so the nature of them has been somewhat obscured…"
He trailed off, miserably, and she realized what he was saying. What he was asking, even while trying not to ask, and she hastily provided, "No, Doctor. I wasn't subjected to anything further than what you observed on that screen. What you saw…" her gaze dropped to her lap in spite of herself before she caught it and forced her head back up, "that was the worst of it."
He didn't look in the slightest bit reassured, she saw with some surprise. The sadness on his photonic face, in his eyes, was nothing like the relief she'd intended to put there, and her brow furrowed in concentration, trying to work out what reservations had him unable to quite repress the stern, almost willful resolve he seemed to be summoning now. She caught Chakotay's not-so-subtle glance out of the window to the doctor's office over the hologram's shoulder, but her attention was snagged when the EMH finally gathered enough will to venture forward with what he'd been wanting to say.
"Captain, you're aware that I've treated several of the Oncaveat from Senator Benzas's ship for similar assaults to the one we're discussing."
Her gaze snapped back to him. "Yes. I'm aware," she confirmed. Somewhat warily. "I read your reports when you had finished treating them."
"Precisely. So I'd ask that you recall how much experience I now have in this matter."
"Doctor…" her hand went once again to her temple to rub at the ever-gathering tension there, "what, exactly, are you getting at? Quickly, please. You have no idea how much work I have ahead of me after three months of being gone."
"Very well." He visibly shed any apprehension as he straightened grimly. "Can you explain how you accrued the bite mark on your neck, Captain?"
Oh hell. The color drained out of her face. She'd forgotten about that. Had grown so used to the sting of it every time she turned her head…
"I've only seen that particular mark on the Oncaveat women I've treated from the senator's ship. All six of whom had experienced one single abusive action in common. And this mark is clearly not as old as some of your other injuries. It would have had to have been incurred during your time on the Jehnz-yin home world."
This time, it was Tom's concerned face that caught her eye across the room through the glass, and she understood from his expression that he was anxious as hell and trying desperately not to show it. Most of his focus was on the outcome of the conversation out here, not on the conversation he himself was engaging in. He, like the doctor, was deeply concerned for her. She cringed inwardly, accepting that she had to do what she could to dispel that concern now.
She shook her head to clear the emotion from it and fixed her eyes firmly on the doctor's face. "There was…an incident with the chancellor just before we left. It was close," she found herself having to admit with a strongly repressed shudder, "but nothing significant came of it. I was able to knock him out before anything more happened. I'm fine, Doctor."
"You have no idea what kind of warning bells go off in my programming when I hear you using that phrase," he retorted sadly.
She rolled her eyes to the ceiling. "Really, Doctor. I'm all right. It was just a bite."
"A particularly nasty bite. Worse than any I've seen. Captain…" Once more, the hesitation crept into his face and voice, "I can certainly understand your not wanting to talk about it. But if something more…did happen…I need to be made aware of it."
Her mouth dropped open at what he was saying to her. At what he, once again, wasn't saying outright.
He didn't believe her. He didn't…!
Righteous indignation swelled inside of her but it simply couldn't peak against that desperate concern she read in the hologram's eyes. At the veiled hint of it that she could see across the room in Paris's eyes, and her anger deflated before it really formed. Instead, sadness pricked her because of that concern, and she found herself sharply recalling the hours-long conversation she and Chakotay had had the night before. The explanations she'd provided, and the promises she'd made. And then, of all things, the faintest excuse for a smile was fighting to form on her lips.
"Am I really that bad, Doctor?"
He didn't seem to understand what she meant, his doubt mingling with confusion, and she shook her head.
"Do you really think I would lie about something that serious? Just to get out of Sickbay or to avoid the consequences of admitting the truth?"
The look he couldn't help giving her in response to that was all the answer she needed. For the second time, she dropped her gaze.
The consequences of having experienced that kind of assault weren't even entirely different from those that she had endured. It was just a matter of degrees, really. Both would have sent her to mandatory counseling and medical follow-up evaluations back in the Alpha Quadrant, and both were going to have her under the doctor's scrutiny for a while here. Again, it would probably be a matter of degrees, if anything.
But that the doctor feared her propensity for keeping him and Sickbay at arm's length to the degree that he outright couldn't trust her to tell him the truth – about something so serious – struck her profoundly in that moment. She knew she had plenty of things to work on already, as she and Chakotay had discussed at length aboard the Jehnz-yin ship, and she briefly considered adding this dimension of her relationship with her chief medical officer to the list.
Mentally, she took a swift review of the past four and a half years as it related to her interaction with the doctor. And as some of the more memorable exchanges between them, after the more serious injuries she'd walked out of this room with before allowing him to finish fixing came to mind, she couldn't help but chuckle. There were times when they really got into it, possibly more than anyone else on the ship.
"I must make your life a living hell sometimes, Doctor."
The EMH's programming had come up against a serious wall with that unexpected, inexplicable acknowledgment from Kathryn Janeway, and he found himself only able to stare at her, agape.
"I don't think I've ever stopped to consider your side of the equation before. Truly consider it, I mean." She shook her head. "It's your job to keep us all healthy. I understand that. I also don't think I can help being the way that I am. There are usually too many concerns on my mind to be able to prioritize injuries the way you would prefer I would." Half a grin pulled the corner of her mouth. "I can't even promise to change it. But I'm sorry if I've made your job harder because of it. And I can give you my word that I'll at least try to be more cooperative in the future."
He'd whipped out the tricorder and scanning wand about midway into her speech and was now determinedly scanning in the vicinity of her cranium. Ducking out from under his arm, she raised an eyebrow when he simply followed her. "What are you doing?"
"Taking another scan of your neural pathways," he tacitly explained.
"For…?"
"The brain damage I must have missed the first time around."
She couldn't help chuckling, even as she knocked his hand away, and he made a show of very slowly replaced the tricorder on the instrument tray next to him. Seeing Chakotay reemerge from the doctor's office, followed by Tom, she tried to give both a reassuring smile and began pushing herself off the bio-bed to stand.
The doctor's hand was immediately on her arm and preventing her progress. "Where do you think you're going?" he demanded.
"I assumed we were finished here." A slightly milder version of the sinking sensation from before overtook her as she sized up his challenging affect. "Aren't we?"
"Not even close, Captain. I said we'd healed your major injuries. Not all of them."
"They can't wait?"
"Did you…or did you not…just promise me that you would be more cooperative?"
"I promised to try," she muttered, already regretting it. Both Chakotay and Tom shot her and then each other shocked looks, with unsubtle side-long glances at the doctor's medical tricorder, as if they, too, were tempted to use it on her, and she repressed the growl forming in the back of her throat only with considerable effort. "How long will this take?" she gritted.
"I need at least several hours to address the remaining scars."
She was who she was. In spite of the good-intentioned break with character of a moment ago, the most attractive option to her right this moment was to tell him she'd lived with the scars this long and could certainly put up with them a while longer.
It was only the realization that she wasn't the one who had to look at them that kept her seated. She couldn't see most of them, but everyone else could. Most of the scars wouldn't be visible when she was in uniform, but those that were visible were not pretty, she knew. She'd caught Chakotay looking on them in sadness more than once, and she'd felt the eyes of many of the crew on them as they'd walked the packed corridor to the turbolift. Neelix in particular had been stricken by them, though he'd covered it up with the tact he'd been steadily acquiring over the past few years.
They were all too polite to mention the scars, but Kathryn had to admit to herself that it couldn't be good for morale for her to continue walking around looking like…well, what she looked like.
With a long-suffering sigh, she nodded her consent as Chakotay approached to stand beside her. She pointed at him accusingly. "This is your doing, you know."
"I have to say…I never, in my wildest dreams, expected you to take it this far."
She only glowered at him.
"But I'm proud of you, Captain," he nodded with a grin. "Tell you what. I'll bring by some of those reports you're probably itching to get your hands on. Which ones did you want first?"
"Engineering," she answered immediately. Brightening at the thought of not having to sit here completely disconnected from the rest of the ship the whole time, at least. "And Tactical and Operations. Astrometrics. I want the latest scans of the region as well as the scans from those planets Tuvok mentioned. And–"
"I'm sure that's more than enough," the EMH cut her off. "It's only a few hours, Captain. And you will be lying down for most of it. I doubt you'll be much in a position to read."
"I'll bring them for you, anyway," Chakotay whisperingly promised.
"Am I at least allowed visitors during my imprisonment?"
"I would prefer that you didn't." He looked highly annoyed at the idea. "This is a Sickbay, not a train station."
"A what?"
"A train station," Tom cut in happily. "You know…twentieth century locomotives that operated on a linear rail system and had a–"
"Right," Janeway interjected, stopping what she'd sensed intuitively was going to be a long explanation. She turned back to the stoic hologram, thinking she should have known where the reference had come from in the first place. "I'm sure you can make an exception under the circumstances, Doctor." He remained unmoved, and she realized he was going to make her work harder than that. "Just a few visitors. It would help me justify the additional time spent," she wheedled.
He was immune to the glare…mostly. The smile, however…he'd yet to work out a defense against. He sagged as the determined wind was let out of his sails by that smile. "If it will keep you here and compliant while I work, very well. One at a time. And if it gets out of hand–"
"I'm sure it won't, Doctor," Janeway cut him off, with a small smile for Tom, who'd grinned at the EMH's surliness behind his back. That was the Tom Paris she knew and had missed, and he'd seemed to surmise from the atmosphere in the room that his earlier concerns had been more or less put to rest. As he and the doctor moved off to confer about who-knew-what, she leaned into Chakotay. "Send Neelix first. I didn't get to see much of him on the way here. And Harry, if he can be spared from the bridge now that everyone's returned to their stations."
Kim's face had been one of several she had missed from their insane welcoming party, had been one of the faces she'd most been looking forward to seeing, but of course not everyone on the ship could be there to greet them. Someone had the man the controls and Engineering.
Chakotay nodded. "Done."
"How long do you need to take care of…everything you need to take care of?"
"I'm going to shower and get out of this sickbay gown," he looked down over himself with distaste even as she smiled. "And hopefully shave. Then I'll head to the bridge and start catching up on everything. A few hours, I guess?"
"Okay. It looks like about the same for me. Once I'm caught up on everything and finished in here," she made the same look of general distaste he had, and it was his turn to smile, "I'll want to meet with the Oncaveat senator who replaced Benzas." The smile faded from both their faces. "And then I think you and I have a meeting to attend."
"We do." Chakotay nodded a final time, knowing what she meant. It was just something they felt they had to do, and it was appropriate that they do it together. "I'll arrange it," he assured her. "But you have to admit…" he leaned down closer to ensure no one else would hear, "it's a really good thing you drank the coffee."
She wasn't sure whether to smile or hit him, but after a moment, she opted for the former. "When you're right, you're right, Commander," she admitted.
"Can I get that in writing?" he teased, the smile this time crinkling the corners of his eyes and drawing her into them.
It wasn't quite the same smile with the new, sharp lines of his unshaven face, though. His arms as they braced him on the edge of the biobed were too thin, and her own answering smile faded just slightly again.
"Stop by the mess hall after your shower, Chakotay," she instructed quietly, "and get a decent meal into yourself, please. Don't let me find out from Neelix later that you haven't."
"Aye, Captain. But it had been high on my list, anyway. I'm not you, you know." He looked as though he wanted to say something more. Something he wasn't sure he should. The doctor and Tom approached the bed, and Chakotay straightened. "I'll see you in a bit," he whispered last for her benefit before accepting the PADD Tom held out to him and turning to go.
Kathryn watched in only half-mock dismay as he deserted her to the doctor's tender care, making his way to the doors at the doctor's insistence, and then Tom was instructing her to lie back on the bed.
Eight hours later, Kurra Nien glanced up from the blanket she was repairing as one of the yellow-shouldered Voyager officers entered Cargo Bay Two. That happened several times a day here, but usually it was several officers instead of just the one. Many times in the course of a single day, several officers could be seen bringing food from the mess hall, or occasionally supplies the senators had requested, like blankets. With over fifty of her fellow Oncaveat in this temporary home, the Voyagers were constantly coming and going in order to satisfy the Oncaveat needs.
When it was one officer, however, that meant one of the senators was being summoned to a conference with the aliens. Usually, it was Narrus, now that Senator Cori was gone. But he'd just returned not that long ago. Could the Voyagers really be summoning him again, so soon?
The humans were celebrating, she knew. It was in the cheery expressions of each officer's face, had been all day. Their captain and their commander, who had both been presumed dead, were alive and had been reunited with the ship. And the Oncaveat were happy for them, of course, but they themselves really had little to celebrate… It hadn't done a great deal for the mood in here.
She glanced over at her closest companion since she'd arrived on the ship. He looked a little better today. Though he rarely got up from his bunk anymore, he didn't have to. She'd made it her personal priority to see that he had everything he needed, and it had given her the purpose she hadn't been able to find for herself during her first two months on this ship.
When she'd first been brought here, she still hadn't been talking…her voice had been so rusty from the year of using it for little more than occasional, sporadic screaming. She'd been terrified, really. Of all the shiny things on this ship, of the smooth-skinned aliens in their colorful shoulders with the instruments always at their sides. They smiled, she'd noted, watching this new world around her with huge, wary eyes, but then…so had the Jehnz-yin. Smiles, as Kurra had learned, didn't necessarily mean friendship. She'd been afraid of the humans, at first. Unable to speak more than a few words at a time, and those hardly audible to whoever was questioning her. Talking, it had been conditioned into her, more often than not brought pain. She'd learned to do whatever possible to avoid pain. And she'd been terrified to be reunited with her people, especially. Wondering what they would think of her. Of all that she had endured. Wondering what they might think of the fact that she had survived, when so many of her companions in captivity hadn't. Being "free", she'd discovered, was just as terrifying a prospect as being a captive had been.
But Yurros had kept her close to him, doing the talking for both of them. To pass the time while she recovered, he'd told her stories about his tribe. His childhood. Most of his stories, however, centered around his "friend", Senator Accor. Shasta had been her name. He'd told Kurra again and again that the senator had been where Kurra was now, and that Shasta had been able to fight her way back from the horrors of her captivity. If Shasta could do it, Kurra could, too, had been his constant reasoning. He'd promised to introduce the two women once Shasta met up with Voyager. She had gone to help rescue the alien captain, he'd explained. Soon, any day, he'd maintained, they would be returning to the ship together…
It had become apparent to Kurra three weeks ago that the "friend" Yurros had spoken so highly of had been more than just a friend. The night he'd awoken them all, screaming out in a way that every Oncaveat recognized, Kurra had finally realized that Yurros and Shasta had in fact been bond mates, in spite of the priest's position and the senator's. And for Yurros to have awoken screaming the way he had, it meant Shasta would not be meeting up with Voyager.
Ever.
That was the night in which Kurra had found purpose, however. She ached for the first friend she'd had in so long, and he'd been devastated – still was, to a large extent. It would take months, even years to properly recover from the loss of a bond mate. She had occupied herself with caring for her friend as best she could. Making sure he ate, in spite of his lack of appetite, and in spite of his protests. She made sure he had clean blankets and enough to drink, and she also began talking, just to distract him from the loneliness and mourning of his own grieving thoughts.
In surprise, Kurra's attention was drawn from memory to present reality. More specifically, her attention was drawn to the middle of the room, where the gold-shouldered human had been conferring with Senator Narrus. As Narrus pointed squarely in Kurra's direction, the young human woman clearly started towards them. She was headed directly for them, Kurra realized in astonishment – and some fear, if she was honest.
"Mister Yurros?" the young woman ventured tentatively as she reached them.
Yurros, turning over in surprise under his blankets, blinked up at the newcomer. Nodding belatedly as his mind took a moment to catch up with her inquiry. "Yes. I'm Yurros."
"I've been asked to escort you to the bridge, sir. Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay would like to speak with you."
"About?" Yurros prompted, more than surprised at the request.
The human shook her head. "I'm sorry, but I wasn't told that. Can you come with me, please?"
Yurros nodded. "Of course. Just…give me a minute."
"Can I go with him?" Kurra inquired softly. Surprising herself as much as Yurros as she spoke up.
The young woman was surprised by the question, too, and Kurra could see the almost imperceptible lines of regret forming around the woman's bright brown eyes before her refusal could even be formed on her alien lips, so Kurra hastened, "Please. He's still not…well. He has trouble walking."
"I'll be…all right," Yurros rasped, trying to push himself upright and swaying for his troubles.
The young woman paused, the polite refusal she had indeed been preparing for the equally polite girl caught in her throat. With an appraising once-over of the man huddled in the blankets and a second assessment of the girl's intentions, the human's expression softened. "Let me see what I can do." She withdrew to a less-crowded alcove and tapped her shiny metal badge, conferring with someone who wasn't in the room.
"You don't have to…" Yurros was trying to assure her. In spite of his devastated condition, he had never lost his concern for Kurra through it all. Ever mindful of the ordeal she'd endured and its very real consequences for her. "I can go myself. I know you don't like going out among them. But they're good people, Kurra. They've helped you and the rest of the prisoners from Osalik, haven't they?"
Kurra nodded, biting her lip. They had helped her. When she'd arrived aboard Voyager, her first stop had been to the formidable room they'd called "Sickbay". She had spent hours in that room, though she'd been almost too terrified to enter it and certainly afraid of the imposing funny man with the blue shoulders that had worked over her to heal her various injuries. Yurros had remained beside her through it all, however.
Kurra's parents would stir in their graves if she did not return the kindness.
"If they'll let me, I want to go with you," she affirmed. More steadily than she really felt on the inside. "You still have trouble walking. You need someone to lean on."
Yurros's eyes lit admiringly, if sadly. "You're as strong as she was," he approved softly. "You're going to make it, Kurra," he repeated to her, as he had countless times before. "You'll get your life back before you know it."
Kurra refrained from asking just what kind of life that would be. A refugee, just like the others in this room. That was what she was, what they were. The humans were kind, were sharing all they had and sheltering them from Jehnz-yin hostility, but if a place wasn't found for them to resettle, how long would they all be stuck in this room? How long would this institutionalized compartment be her life, her reality? She longed for open skies and solid ground beneath her. For freedom, and open space. Would she ever see any of those things again?
The officer had returned to them, and it was clear from her pleased expression what her response would be even before she spoke, "The captain will let you accompany him."
Yurros smiled softly, squeezing Kurra's hand as she offered her arm for him to lean on, and he rose. They walked slowly out of the cargo bay, allowing themselves to be led into the turbolift and out onto the main center of the ship, the bridge. Kurra's wide eyes took in the gleaming silver, the soft yellow lights blinking over the marvelous technologies she had only ever imagined, and then their brief tour was over as they were led into a small conference room. Two of the humans sat at one side of a long table, and both rose to greet them. They both had red shoulders, Kurra noted.
"Yurros?" The woman asked.
"Yes. And this is Kurra Nien."
"I'm Captain Kathryn Janeway. This is Commander Chakotay."
The man was vaguely familiar, but it was the woman who drew much of Kurra's attention. She looked too small to be captain, Kurra decided, shyly looking her over. But she did have a presence about her that conveyed a woman who was indeed in charge – and knew it. And she had a sort of rasping, warm voice that Kurra instinctively liked. She was surprised at first to not see any scars or signs of mistreatment evidenced on the woman's person, though. Hadn't the Voyager captain been held by the general…? Then she remembered belatedly about the wonders these humans could work with medicine, having experienced much of it personally, and Yurros's voice broke into her thoughts.
"The commander and I have already met," Yurros explained, with a respectful nod in Chakotay's direction. "And I believe the commander has already met Kurra, too. Though not formally."
Kurra realized then who this man was. A shock of fear shot through her as he turned a soft smile in her direction. A smile completely at odds with everything she knew of him...
That was why he'd seemed vaguely familiar. This was the dark man that had entered her cell back at Osalik! This was the curt man she'd been just as terrified of as she had been of the Jehnz-yi he'd felled so skillfully. So unremorsefully. Then, sharp words and curt instructions were all he'd uttered, all he seemed capable of uttering. There'd been none of the kindness, the polite deference he showed now in indicating for the two Oncaveat to sit. When he quietly offered to get them both refreshments, Kurra could only shake her head in mute disbelief at him. It must be a mistake, she decided, edging as close to Yurros as possible.
The two humans shared a glance between them. As though unsure of where they wanted to begin whatever conversation they were intent upon having.
When they'd all settled into their seats, Yurros smiled as kindly as he could at the officers through his haggard features. "And what is it that I can do for you, Captain? Commander?"
Again, they hesitated, the commander finally nodding at the captain, who took a breath and turned to face them fully. "I was hoping it would be a matter of what we could possibly do for you, Yurros. We wanted to talk to you…about your bond mate. Senator Accor."
"She died…for me, Yurros," Chakotay ventured quietly. "She helped save both of our lives. And while we knew her, Senator Accor demonstrated courage and conviction that brought honor to her people. We thought you deserved to know just how much."
Janeway took up the thread again, to the tearing in Yurros's great grey eyes, "We wanted you to know exactly what we owe to your bond mate, Yurros. We also felt you deserved to hear about…how…" she paused. "We thought you should know about the time we spent with her on Ghanza Prime."
"If you're willing to listen to our story, of course…?" Chakotay prompted.
Tears leaking slowly over his furred cheeks, Yurros nodded slowly in gratitude. "Yes, Commander. Captain. I think…I would like that."
Beside him, he was barely aware of Kurra softly squeezing his hand as the humans began their tale.