Thank you so, so much for all the fantastic reviews you have all given me, they make my day. I would love to reply to them but for some reason FanFiction will not let me review reply. Anyways here's my longest chapter in a while, you'll see why.
The next day was his last to be with her for the next three or four weeks. He had to be at the recruitment base by 0900 the next morning, packed bags and ready to begin his marine training. And tonight she was at his home, he was cooking her dinner. He didn't want to go out to a restaurant; he wanted to spend it at his home with her, just the two of them. It also maybe the last time he spends in his home before he decides to eventually sell it.
He had spent all day with her, nothing much important but they had lounged around her house not doing much, just being together. Laughing, smiling, kissing. He wanted his last day to be about the two of them, something for his thoughts when he missed her. But right now they were both in his kitchen, he was making her dinner and she kept trying to help.
"Zi I insist that you just sit over there and look beautiful while I cook for you" Tony exclaimed, smiling at her as she stood next to him, trying to get passed him to help with the cooking.
"Can I at least do the vegetables or something?" she asked, giving him a cute little pout that she knew he couldn't say no to even if he wanted. He sighed and chuckled slightly.
"Fine, don't say that I wasn't trying to be the gentleman and do everything for you" he grinned across at her as she picked up a knife and began cutting some vegetables. He saw the smile on the corner of her lips.
"Well this lady loves her gentleman but she also loves to do things, you know how she hates being bored" she replied, sending him a cheeky look out of the corner of her eye. He turned to face her and she looked up as he stepped closer. He leant down and kissed her softly. He was only meant to kiss her once but he found himself doing it multiple times before he pulled back to say what he was meant to in the beginning.
"You're adorable" he whispered and she chuckle lightly. It was most likely his natural charm that had her feeling giddy all the time. Whatever it was about him, she loved it.
He'd set up a table, candles, fancy glasses and plates. He was still a romantic at heart, he got that from Sam. Dinner had just been put in the oven and so dinner would be ready as soon as it was cooked. He finished wiping his hands dry as he turned around and found her leaning her back against the bench and giving him a cute little smile as she watched him. He smiled back and walked in front of her.
"You know I love your smile right?" he said as he placed his hands either side of her hips on the bench while he came into her space more.
"Yes I do" she replied and her smile was beaming even more than a second ago, he was sure of it. He dipped his head forward then and leant his forehead against hers as he brought his hands off the bench behind her and placed them on her hips gently.
"I'm really going to miss it" he whispered, if he hadn't been so close to her she was sure she would have missed it. She gazed up into his beautiful green eyes as they looked down on her. His hands shifted around to her back and moved in gentle, relaxing motions. She had assured him multiple times today that everything would be ok, that she would still be here when he returned, however he continued to worry about leaving.
She brought her hand up to rest against his chest.
"Tony we will be fine, we are strong, nothing will get in between us and you know that" she assured him for at least the tenth time today. He sighed and his eyes closed while his hands stilled and tightened around her.
"I know, I know you're right. I'm just nervous" he replied. That was the first time he had admitted that fact to her verbally. She knew he was, so was she. But he was yet to admit it, until now. She moved her hand until it rested on his cheek, he opened his eyes and looked down at her when she did.
"You're going to do fine Tony. I know you will" she replied, leaning up and kissing him lightly. She wove her hand into the side of his hair, the hair that will be cut off before the next time she saw him.
"I don't doubt for one second you're not going to do fantastic, if Gibbs thinks so much of you being an ex-marine I know that just by that that you will do great" she explained. Tonight he needed her reassurance, he needed her confidence. He was going to take everything she would and could offer him tonight, before she wasn't there to ask and console in when he needed it. His hands moved on her back slowly again.
"I know, it's just change that I'm worried about. I was never very good at big changes" he stated and she could tell by a little flicker in his eye that there was more to that reason. He knew she'd caught it in his eye so he didn't hesitate to continue, he didn't keep secrets from her. No matter how big they were.
"It started not long after my mother died, when a lot changed. My dad changed, my life changed, in a big way. I was sent to Sam and stayed there, so much happened and I couldn't handle it, I had a panic attack the first night at Sam's house after everything that happened that day…" he began and she listened silently in slight shock at the story he was confessing to her. His arms tightened around her again.
"Three weeks after my mom's death my dad just couldn't take it anymore, and at the age I was I hadn't seen it coming. My dad he had just got home from a bar, I think, and he came into my room, he began screaming at me, saying her death was my fault. He yelled all these things at me that night and he ended up grabbing a bag, shoving a few of my things in it and then he dropped me off on Sam's porch, he drove off not even talking to Sam. That night I had a panic attack because everything had happened so fast and I was too young to handle everything that went on… that's why I don't do big changes well" he explained. She saw the tears fogging his eyes but it was hers that had escaped her eyes. This was a big confession on his part, and she understood now why he was so nervous. She just couldn't get past the fact of what his dad (if you could call him that) had done to Tony at such a young and fragile age.
"Tony…" she whispered and ran her hand across his cheek, gazing deeply into his eyes.
"I got over it a long time ago, all that stayed with me was my worry about change. It was so many years ago, I think it won't hurt me anymore. I just get nervous" he explained to her. And she understood that, there were things about her past and her father that had affected her too; you can't change something's in life that happen in the past.
"You've grown into a very strong man, am I right?" she asked. He nodded against her.
"You'll be ok then, you maybe nervous but if you think about it, this is a change for good, for the future right?" she stated. Again he nodded against her, the way she explained to him, made him more confident about changing.
"And I'm not going to change, your families not going to change so if you do ever have problems with changing you know that we will still be here for you, I will be right here waiting whenever you need me. I want you to remember that when your away ok? If you're ever getting worried you think that I'm right here for you when you get out. I'm not going anywhere; I'm not going to change" she said. His hands moved on her back again and pulled her as close as she would go to him.
"I love you so much" he whispered against her lips before kissing her. The kiss wasn't as soft as the last one they shared a while ago, no this one was stronger, one of need. But it didn't last too long, the buzzer on the oven went off and he pulled back. He focused on her for a moment before turning his attention to the dinner.
"Sorry for loading that all on you. Thank you though, you helped a lot" he whispered, giving her a shy smile. He hadn't meant to bring that all up tonight, it just had happened. She brought her hands up and cupped his cheeks softly.
"No that is ok. I am glad I helped" she said softly and leant in, giving him a little kiss. He smiled. What had he done to deserve her in his life?
After dinner he cleaned up and told her to relax. She smiled and let him do this by himself, let him be the gentleman without her insisting to help. She really did love the side of him that was so insistent of taking care of her. When he found her after he had finished cleaning up he smiled. She was standing in his bathroom, in one of his shirts and he couldn't tell what else because his shirt was so big on her, he would bet she was only wearing her panties under.
And she was standing there, humming quietly to some song and brushing her hair. That picture was beautiful. And when her eyes found his in the mirror the humming stopped and she sent him a beaming smile.
"Relaxed I see" he observed, smiling back at her. She just chuckled lightly and continued brushing her hair as he walked into the bathroom and came up behind her, placing his hands on her hips and resting his chin on her shoulder, looking at her in the mirror. She stopped her brushing and placed her brush on the basin before bringing her hands to rest on his hands that now settled on her stomach.
"I love how relaxed you are around me" he stated randomly. He really did love how she was so casual around him. How she wore his clothes and wore no make-up and didn't care what her hair looked like. She would wake up and not care too much for what she looked like in front of him; she didn't need to dress up every time he saw her for him to think she was beautiful. And the first time he had come into the bathroom while she was doing something with some cream on her face before bed she hadn't even minded him as he watched her do it.
He couldn't think of many girls that he knew of that would do that. When he was younger he dated this girl once who would continuously take bathroom breaks while they were on a date to reapply her make-up. He loved how Ziva wasn't like that; Ziva was truly his type of woman.
"I have gotten very used to you, it's easy to be relaxed" she replied, still smiling at him. He chuckled at the thought, they really had been together a while now and they had grown so close. He smiled and turned his face into her neck, kissing it lightly. He kissed it again and again and when he looked into the mirror he saw her eyes closed at the sensation.
He pressed his body more fully into the back of hers then and he moved his hands to her hips again. He could feel her lean into him. He began kissing up her neck again; he had come to know she loved that. He moved his hands down her sides, leaving the shirt covered hips to find her soft bare legs, and he slipped his hand underneath the shirt and ran his hands up the sides of her hips again.
"Tony?" he heard her whisper.
"Yeah Zi?" he replied, murmuring against the skin of her neck. He pulled back slightly when he felt her move in his arms, and she turned so she faced him, smiling up at him.
"Kiss me" she replied. His hands went back under the shirt then and ran up her back as he brought his lips down to hers and kissed her. Her hands wrapped around his neck as she pressed her body into his. Her lips parted for his when his tongue begged its entrance. Out of breath he pulled back and stared deep into her eyes.
"I never want to let you go" he whispered as his hands ran across her back in soft motions. She knew how he felt, she didn't want to let go either. His hands moved to her waist then and she found herself being lifted and slung across his shoulder. She giggled as he walked her down the hallway to his bedroom, where she knew they would spend many of their last hours together. He would hold her, kiss her, make love to her, before he had to leave in the morning.
She woke in his arms the next morning, his alarm had gone off. He moved behind her as he reached and turned the alarm off before returning his hands back to snuggle around her. She knew he had set the alarm for 0630 so he had a lot of time to get down to the base. He knew he would need some time with her in the morning before he left.
His hands moved to find hers at her stomach and he entwined his between hers.
"I love you so much" he whispered against the side of her neck from his position behind her. Her hands tightened around his.
"I love you too Tony" she whispered back. Why they were whispering? They didn't know but they were.
"I'm going to miss this" he stated. God would she miss it too, one of her favourite things was being in his arms like this. She was going to get used to not having it there though.
"I know, so will I" she replied. His arms moved and it pulled her closer to him. She could feel his warm breath on her neck. She was imprinting it to her memory. He was silent for a very long time before he spoke again.
"I don't want to go, I don't want to leave" he stated, she knew by his voice he wasn't just saying that because he was going to miss her, he was saying because he was having doubts now, realization was setting in and he actually didn't want to go. She turned in his arms then, facing him. He had tears in his eyes. She brought her hands up to cup his face softly.
"It's ok to be scared, but you want to do this Tony, this is the beginning of your life" she stated. He sighed and a tear slipped from his eye. She felt herself tear up at the sight of him like that.
"I don't want to leave you, I can't do it" he exclaimed, his hands tightened his hold even more on her and it felt as though he was shaking slightly.
"Don't say that Tony, I'm not going anywhere, I'll be here when you get back" she replied, a tear escaped her own eyes.
"I don't think I can handle not being around you, I haven't been apart from you for a long time, I can't" he replied. She knew what was happing now; he was becoming afraid of change. Just like what he had explained last night, it was happening. Right now.
"Tony change is good; change is what we need in this stage of life, if we don't have any change we can't grow. You want to grow together right?" she asked.
"Yes" he choked out. She ran her fingers gently down his cheek.
"Then this is what you want, it's going to be good for you, for us. Change is good when it's done right, this is right Tony" she whispered, looking deeply into his glassy eyes.
"I'm just worried things could change when I'm gone and I wont be able to be there for you and you'll find someone else-" he began but she cut him off.
"No, no I won't Tony. No one can be who you are to me; no one in the world could replace you. No one" she stated. She would never in her life go off with someone else.
"What if-" he began again, but she cut him off this time too. She shook her head.
"No one Tony" she lifted his hand in hers and brought it to her chest, right above her heart.
"This belongs to you; no one else will ever hold the pieces to my heart like you do. I am yours forever" she whispered. Another tear escaped his eyes.
"I think…I think I can do this" he replied, swallowing the lump in his throat. Damn his father and what he did to Tony when he was younger, what he did has left Tony scarred, he cannot handle change like he should.
"You can, I have faith in you Tony" she replied. He nodded softly.
"Change is good right?" he then asked, repeating what she had explained moments earlier. She brought her hand up to hold his cheek again while her other one still clutched his hand.
"Yes Tony, very good" she stated. If she wasn't so sure of him right now, he didn't know what he would have done. He needed her to help him through this change in his life, in their life. Because he wasn't good at change.
"Ok, I can do this" he said, mostly to himself than to her. She smiled lightly; he was going to get through this. She soothed her hand through the side of his hair.
"Yes you can" she said lightly. He read her eyes and leant in and kissed her very softly, holding the kiss.
"Without you, I don't think I could" he stated when he pulled back from the kiss.
"I am right here, remember that" she replied before kissing him again. Repeating what she told him last night.
He was strong in the morning after he had got out of bed; he had one thing on his mind that kept him strong. She was there for him, and that change was good. And it helped; it gave him the confidence he needed. He had gathered his bag full of things he was told to bring, he didn't think it was very much considering, but the recruitment guy had told him he would be given a lot of the stuff he would need.
They had gone in his car to Ziva's house, Gibbs, Jenny, Tim and Abby were all coming to see him off. Ziva and Tony rode with Gibbs in one car on the way. And it didn't go missed by Gibbs how quiet the two of them were, how they gripped onto each others hands like it was their soul lifeline, how they both looked as though they were about to breakdown any minute.
They pulled into the base and Tony held his breath while his hand held Ziva's tighter. This was it. There was a bus parked with people on it and people lining up to get on. All of them were about Tony's age. There was also many parents and friends of the other people gathered around, most likely wishing people goodbye. Staff Sergeant Travis (the recruitment officer) spotted Tony and Tony walked over to him, with everyone right behind him.
"Tony, good to see you made it" he smiled. Tony found himself smiling back; maybe this was good after all.
"Yes I did Staff" Tony replied.
"Well when you have said all of your goodbyes and things just grab a seat on the bus. We're heading out soon" Staff stated and Tony nodded, turning back to everyone. First it was Tim who gave Tony a very strong handshake and wished him well. Then it was Abby who crushed him in a hug and began crying, she told him she was going to miss her brother. It was always heartwarming when she called him that.
Then there was Jenny. She hugged and kissed him on the cheek, telling him she was very proud of him and whispered to him to be strong. She could see in his eyes how he was going to miss Ziva dearly. Gibbs followed; first it began as a handshake but then turned into a hug. Gibbs told Tony he was going to be a damn good marine, he finished with saying 'Semper Fi' and Tony smiled softly.
Last but not least he turned to see Ziva, watching him, tears in her eyes. He stepped up to her, and silently his arms wrapped around her and hers around him. He was trying to be as strong as he could right now, he did not want to break down right now. She was strong for him this morning; he would be strong for her right now.
"I will miss you, every minute of my day" he whispered into her long curls, she shuddered against him gently. She was crying. She had been stronger this morning but now the realization was hitting her and she was breaking down.
"I will think of you, always" she managed to reply. He held her closer, closing his eyes. He held her for as long as he could before he leant back. Looking into her eyes he brought his hand to her cheek, caressing it softly with his thumb.
"I love you…" he whispered, letting that one tear escape, nothing more.
"I love you too" she replied and before she knew it his lips were on hers, desperate for that last feel, that last kiss. It was tender and long. It was a goodbye kiss, one that lasted. When he pulled back he stared at her. He didn't want to but he stepped back, his fingers the last things to leave her, falling from her cheek. He picked up his pack and climbed on the bus, holding her eyes with his the whole way.
Guys may have stared at him when he got on the bus, he didn't know, he was still looking at her. he found an empty seat next to the window and sat. As the bus pulled away he watched her, she watched him. When he got too far in the distance he watched Jenny pull Ziva into her arms, she needed someone to hug right now. So did he but he would deal, he was in the marines now, and they don't give hugs.
Anthony DiNozzo looked out the window; this was all new to him. He was starting this new life, one that he would build at the strength of his being, how Sam and all his educators had raised him. He would have support of the people he called family and the support of her, Ziva David. The woman who was no longer just considered the 'new girl' to him anymore. She was His Girl.
Ok so don't worry, this is NOT the end of this story. I decided to finish it here on this story as it is the point where they have finished high school and are beginning to move on in life to other things. I am writing a continuation to this called 'His Girl' and I will start that in the next week hopefully, it's pretty much this same story, just beginning in a new story set up. I hope that all makes sense, its just I feel I should start it as a new story because this one was about high school but now that has finished its about their progress in life.
Alright I'm going to stop that explanation before it goes on and on haha Hope you enjoyed this chapter and I hope to see you at the continued story of this. I wonder if anyone caught the link to the first chapter in that last bit of this chapter :)
Hundan