Chapter 36

Memories, old and new

"B! Eddie! Wake up!" Lizzy screamed through our bedroom door dragging me from the amazing nights sleep I had been having.

I groaned as I rolled over into Edward's arms. "Make her go away." I mumbled into his chest without ever opening my eyes.

Edward just chuckled. "That's not gonna happen and you know it, baby. It's Christmas morning." He said huskily in his sleepy voice.

"Mmmhmm." I mumbled without fully waking up.

A knock on our bedroom door dragged from the sleep that was just within my grasp once again. "Hot chocolate in ten minutes!" Esme sing songed just as Lizzy squealed just outside our door.

"Did she just tease us with her hot chocolate?" I mumbled sleepily against Edward's bare warm chest.

"Mmhmm. Is it enough?" Edward asked quietly.

I groaned as I tightened my grip on him snuggling in a little bit closer just as we heard feet pounding on the floor outside our bedroom door. "Yes." I said blinking rapidly to wake myself up. "That and the sound of all those feet racing down the stairs to steal our hot chocolate is enough to drag me out of this bed." I told him as I sat up slowly in the bed gripping the sheet to my naked chest.

"The sight of you all sleep rumpled is enough to make me want to keep you in this bed." He said as he softly trailed his fingers down my back causing me to shiver in reaction.

"Hot chocolate." I turned to look at Edward with a piercing stare. "Esme's crock pot hot chocolate." I reiterated.

Edward quickly tossed the blankets off of him as he slipped his pajama bottoms on sans boxer briefs. "Come on. Get dressed before everybody drinks it all." He said as he tugged his wife beater over his head while I just sat smiling at him because I knew that Esme had several crock-pots going downstairs.

"I'm coming, hold your horses." I smirked at him as I tossed the sheet aside exposing my naked chest to him which caused him to stop in his tracks and just watch me with a smoldering look. "Can you hand me my bra that you flung on top of the post?" I asked him with a raised eyebrow as I slipped clean panties and my pajama bottoms on.

He just smirked as he reached up snagging my favorite bra off the top of the end post of our bed. "Here, baby. You weren't complaining last night when I flung it up there." He said as he held the aforementioned article of clothing by the strap towards me.

I scowled at him as I snagged my bra from his fingers putting it on. "Hell no I wasn't complaining, I could barely form a coherent thought last night."

He smiled broadly as he fist pumped in the air. "I know, it was amazing. I'm glad you've regained your ability to form a coherent thought." He said slapping me on the ass as I tugged on my tank-top from last night.

"Hey!" I yelped as my ass stung from his smack.

He just laughed as he opened the bedroom door. "Come on woman, hot chocolate and presents await us downstairs." He said with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

"What's the big deal about this hot chocolate that everyone is beating down the doors about?" Tarah asked as she and Sarah walked side by side down from the third floor.

I just shook my head as Edward stopped dead in his tracks. "Don't talk about Ma's hot chocolate like that!" He said shocked that anybody could not understand about this hot chocolate.

"Sorry, Eddie!" Tarah said playfully while Edward growled in her direction. "Morning, Bella!" She called around Edward and the open doorway that I was now standing in.

"Morning, girls. Let me tell you a little story about this hot chocolate that you are going to fall in love with." I told them as I stepped around Edward and towards them.

Sarah smiled at me. She was the shy one of the two girls. Fifteen years old and absolutely gorgeous. They were identical twins and the only way I could tell them apart was the blue streak in Tarah's hair and the pink streak in Sarah's. "Morning, Bella." She said softly.

"Morning, Sarah. Did you sleep well?" I asked her as the three of us started down the stairs with Edward following slowly behind us.

She nodded. "What's the story about this worthy hot chocolate?" She asked curiously. This had been a common thing since they had gotten here and gotten used to all of us. They usually asked for a story when we mentioned a tradition or something from our past.

I heard Edward chuckled behind me as I smiled broadly. "Well, you see the history of this hot chocolate goes back for generations. It all started…" I told them the story that Esme had told me the first time I had sat in her kitchen a shaking drenched scarecrow after I had been trick or treating with Rose, Edward, and Jasper for almost two hours in the drizzling rain. Her great-grandmother had apparently started making for her grandmother when she was just a little girl who had been playing out in the snow and caught a cold. She wouldn't eat or drink anything so Esmerelda had made Esmerie some hot chocolate as a last ditch effort.

"That's a sweet story." Sarah said as we walked into the kitchen where everyone stood around with coffee cups in their hands while the three little girls sat around the floor with sippy cups and bottles filled with the brown liquid ambrosia.

"Here sweetheart." Esme said when she spotted me. I quickly took the coffee cup and lifted it to my nose inhaling the sweet smell.

"Where's mine, Ma? Am I chopped liver now?" Edward asked as he walked in the room pouting.

Everyone just laughed at him as Esme handed him a large coffee cup topped with whip cream. He took the cup and closed his eyes as he inhaled the aroma coming from the cup. "Merry Christmas, baby." Esme said as she patted him on the cheek cutely.

"Thanks, Ma. Merry Christmas to you too." Edward said as he kissed her on the cheek like the sweet man he was. "Love you, Ma."

"Love you too, son." She said as she patted his cheek again. She turned to address everybody else. "Who's ready for presents?" She asked clapping her hands together eagerly.

Going through all the old photo's the other day with Esme I came up with the perfect Christmas present for Tarah, Sarah, and Phil. A photo album full of pictures of our mother as a baby and a child all the way up until the last photo of her with my father and I when I was just a few days old. I was eager to see their reaction to all the pictures in the album. The album wasn't the original photo's but copies that I had made so that the originals could stay here in her childhood home and maybe one day I could show it to my children to help explain the history of this house and our heritage.

"Can I go first, daddy?" Lizzy asked as he sat between her and Abby on the floor with Jacqui in his lap while Rose helped Esme sort out the gifts for everybody.

Emmett poked her in the side causing her to laugh. "I don't know, Lizzy. What's the true meaning of Christmas?" He asked her with a raised eyebrow while Rose just smiled as she handed me a square box.

Lizzy raised her eyebrow to match Emmett's which caused us all to chuckle at her antics. I doubled over in laughter as she tapped her finger on her chin in concentration. "Oh God, Rosie what have you done to that child?" I asked between my guffaws of laughter.

Rose just shrugged her shoulders as she sat yet another box in front of me. "I haven't done anything to that precious child of mine. Just listen." She said winking at me before turning to nod at Lizzy.

"Mama said the true meaning of Christmas is to be with the ones you love not what they get you. If dat's true, daddy, why do you ask me what momma got you?" She asked him with wide eyes as Rose doubled over in giggles while Esme scowled at Emmett and Charlie high-fived Lizzy from his spot on the couch behind her.

"Elizabeth Nichole, don't you know it's not nice to throw your daddy under the bus like that?" Emmett said as he ruffled her hair playfully.

She scrambled into Charlie's arms where she cocked her little head to the side in obvious curiousness. "Daddy you too big for me to throw you andywhere."

Emmett just shook his head in resignation. "I know, baby, I guess you can go first but only one present, okay?" He told her as he patted the floor beside him where her presents were stacked. All of us adults had sat down the other day and made out the Christmas dinner list along with how we were going to handle such a large group when it came time to open presents. We had decided to go around and let everybody open one at a time so that we could all see what they got.

"Yay." Lizzy said cheerfully as Rosalie sat down behind her own pile of presents. "Now?" She asked looking over to Rose with wide anxious eyes.

"Go for it." Rose said with a smile.

It took us over an hour to open all the presents until there was only one left. "Whose is that?" Tarah asked curiously as she stacked her presents into a neat pile separate from the boxes and wrapping paper that Esme was gathering up in a huge trash bag.

I smiled as I pulled the present from under the tree where I had asked Rose to leave it. "This is for all of you to share." I told her as I handed her and Sarah the present gently. "I thought that you two deserved to know our mother when she was a child and young adult." I explained as the girls ripped the paper off to reveal a beautiful box I had found up town while copying all the pictures.

"Really?" Sarah asked with tears in her eyes as she pulled the lid off the box to reveal the picture Renee had sent me of the four of them as a family on the front of an exquisite leather photo album.

I nodded as I swiped at my cheeks. "Yes. There are pictures in there of her from when she was a baby all the way up until I was a few days old." I explained to the girls as Tarah pulled the album out gently as tears spilled down her cheeks.

"Thank you, Bella, so much. You have no idea what this means to them and me." Phil said as he reached over giving my hand a squeeze.

I nodded as I took a shuddering breath. "It's no problem, Phil. I didn't know her, not as my mother, or as a person but the three of you did and you deserve to have her entire history printed out in pictures to help remember her by." I told him softly just as Sarah launched herself into my arms wrapping her arms tightly around me as she sobbed into my shoulder. Tarah went and cuddled into Phil's side as the rest of the crew got up to give us some privacy.

"It's okay, sweet girl. It's okay to miss her." I whispered into Sarah's hair as I ran my hands up and down her back trying to calm her down.

Sarah eventually quit crying and pulled back to look at me with sad eyes. "Do you miss her?" She asked quietly.

I sighed and sadly I had to shake my head. "It's hard to explain, Sarah, but it's hard to miss someone you never knew or something you never had." I told her as I cupped her face gently in my hands.

"But she's your mom too."

I shook my head again. "She is my mother biologically but emotionally and mentally Esme is my mother. She's the one that has been there for me since I was a kid. She's the one I went to when my father freaked out because my monthly cycle came and I thought I was dying. I cried on her shoulder when people were making fun of me at school because Charlie had come to my fourth grade mother daughter tea party. She's the one that helped me and Rose get ready for prom. She's the one that took care of me while my father worked to support us. I know that Renee was an amazing mother to you and your sister but she wasn't my mother." I told her gently as I stroked the tears off her cheeks.

"I'm sorry." She said softly.

I smiled and shook my head again. "It's not your fault, sweet girl. Nobody was at fault, it's just the way things worked out. I am glad that she was able to be an amazing mother to you and your sister. You two deserve the entire world and I am sad that you have lost your mother at such a young and important age."

Sarah nodded as she wrapped her arms around my neck once again in a tight hug.

*~*~*~*J2FT1*~*~*~*

"Can you tell us a story, Bella?" Tarah asked as we sat in front of the fire in the library letting our food settle after the amazing meal that Esme had painstakingly prepared with little help from the rest of us.

I smiled, closing my book, and laying it on the small table between our two chairs. She and Sarah were curled up in the other chair looking through the photo album yet again. "Sure, any particular thing you are wanting to hear about?" I asked them quietly.

They both shrugged. "How about your sixteenth birthday?" Tarah suggested.

I just laughed because that would be a really short story. "Not really worth telling. Charlie had to work so Esme cooked me my favorite meal, chicken lasagna, and a birthday cake. After dinner, cake, and ice cream Jasper, Rose, and I watched movies until we all conked out in the living room floor." I told them with a shake of my head.

"Wow that sounds pretty boring." Tarah said with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Okay, just pick something that could be interesting." Sarah suggested quietly.

I tapped my chin much in the way that Lizzy had earlier. "Let's see. How about the time that Charlie was doing laundry and found a condom in my jeans pocket. I was your age and still a virgin even though Jasper and I had been dating for a few years at that time."

"Did Charlie freak out?" Tarah asked between her giggles.

I nodded and delved into the memory as I told the story. I had walked in the front door after school, it was a Monday, and saw Charlie sitting on the stairs just inside the door with a tiny foil packet that I instantly recognized. I was fifteen years old and he was a single father having to give the birds and the bees talk to his daughter. It was an uncomfortable situation for both of us but I can look back on it and see the love and worry that he had for me at his discovery. It was then that he had begged Esme to take me to get on birth control pills just 'to be on the safe side'.

The girls and I swapped stories until we were all yawning loudly. "I think it's time to hit the sack, girls." I told them as I stood up stretching my back and groaning when it popped several times.

*~*~*~*J2FT1*~*~*~*

I wrapped my blanket tighter around my form as I sat on the porch swing outside watching the snow fall gently all around me. "You okay, sweetheart?" Charlie asked as he stepped out onto the porch shutting the door behind him.

I nodded as I snuggled into my thick jacket and blanket. "Yeah, daddy, I'm fine. Just needed a moment to reflect before we close the house back up for who knows how long." I told him as he settled on the swing beside me tossing his arm around my shoulders tugging me into his side like he used to do when I was a child.

"What are you going to do with the house, baby? Have you decided?" He asked quietly.

I sighed because the moment I feared the most had just presented itself on a silver platter courtesy of my father. "I would love to start a family in this house and raise them here full time but I don't want to be so far from you and Esme." I whispered quietly in the cool air.

He chuckled. "Baby girl, don't you know that it's time for you to follow your dreams not worry about your old man?" He said teasingly.

"But daddy, I-" He placed his fingers over my lips halting me mid word.

He shook his head. "This is an amazing house and piece of property, Isabella. If you and Edward want to live here and raise a family here then that is what you should do. Don't you worry about me or Esme, because I am almost certain she will tell you the same thing that I am telling you. Live your life so that you have no regrets, Isabella, no regrets."

"I don't like you being all the way across the country from me when you have nobody out there to look out for you." I told him voicing my fears for the first time since that night Edward drug them from me.

He hugged me tightly. "Don't you know that I will follow you anywhere, baby girl? If Virginia is where you want to be then Virginia is where I will be too once I retire, which isn't far off."

I sniffled against his chest as I cuddled into the comfort that only my father knew how to give me. It was a father's love that I relished in and wasn't ashamed to admit it. Where Edward was a momma's boy I was 100 percent a daddy's girl, but then again I had grown up without a mother whereas Edward had grown up without a father. "Thanks, daddy. I love you."

"Oh, I love you too, sweetheart." He said gruffly as he kissed the top of my head. We sat there gently swinging in the cool breeze listening to the birds chirp and play in the trees for I don't know how long until he broke the silence that I was relishing in. "Your grandparents are probably smiling down on you right now for bringing life back into this amazing house that holds so much passion and history for your family."

"You think so? I love this house, I fell in love with it the moment we pulled into the driveway. Edward did too." I told him as I pulled back to look him in the eyes. "I wonder why Renee didn't live here when she got better." I asked curiously.

Charlie just laughed. "Unlike you, your mother was raised in this house and this small town. She couldn't wait to get out of here. Much like you and Rose with Forks. I remember when you was a teenager all you and Rose talked about was getting out of Forks and as far away from it as you could manage. You reminded me so much of your mother during those years because when I first met your mom she complained constantly about this house and how stifling it could be despite all the space." He said offering me a glimpse into his and Renee's relationship which he had always been tight lipped about growing up.

"Really? How did you two meet?" I asked quietly hoping to get a good story out of him.

He nodded and wrapped his arm tighter around me. "Well believe it or not, we met at the bus station in Richmond, Virginia."

"How old were both of you?"

"You want the whole story?" He asked quietly.

I nodded but otherwise remained silent. "Okay. I had just talked to the then chief of Police in Forks and he suggested coming to the police training academy in Richmond where they were offering some FBI training also to better help us out in the field. I was skeptical that I would ever need that kind of training back in Forks, but I was eager to please the chief above anything else because even at nineteen years old I was goal oriented and I wanted his job. Which he had told me would be mine, if I completed all of the seminars and training above average, when he retired." He paused placing a soft kiss to the top of my head again as I felt more than heard him take a steadying breath.

"I had to take the bus from my hotel room to the training facility where the seminars and training was being held at. I met your mother my second day here when she sat beside me on the bus despite their being plenty of other empty seats. She chattered the entire way to the facility, never letting me get a word in edge wise but that was okay with me because she was so pretty that I don't think I remembered how to talk." I felt him smile against my hair. "As I stood up to get off the bus she grabbed my hand and apologized for talking the entire way. I told her that it was okay because I enjoyed her nonsensical chatter more than she could ever imagine. I never even told her my name on that first day nor did I learn hers, whether from missing in all her chatter or her just forgetting to give it to me I don't know."

I chuckled as I tried to picture Charlie so enthralled with a woman he had just met that he forgot his simple manners of introductions.

"I thought about her all day while I was at that training facility and wondered if I would ever get a chance to introduce myself to her. I did. The very next morning when I strolled up to the bus stop to wait on the bus there she stood waving eagerly at me with a donut and a steaming cup of coffee. I was scheduled to be in Richmond for seventeen days to take in all the training and courses that I could but to be honest I don't remember much of the training and seminars because your mom was on my mind all the time. We met every morning at the bus stop and talked the entire way to the training facility, she voiced her dislike of her small hometown just a ways up the road and the old creepy house that she had grew up in. My first weekend there, we had two days to take in the sights or do whatever we wanted. I spent them with Renee. That is when I met her parents, your grandparents, for the first time."

I nodded to urge him to continue with the story that gave me a glimpse into why my father was the way he was. He had fallen head over heels in love so much that it nearly destroyed him when that loved walked away, I could tell that just from the passion in his voice as he relived the past.

"By the end of my seventeen days, your mom and I were madly in love and were already talking about getting married and her moving to Washington to be with me while I followed my dreams of becoming Chief of Police one day. I asked her father for her hand in marriage the day before I was scheduled to head back to Forks, he was skeptical because it had all happened so fast but he gave me his approval anyways. We were married the morning before our bus left for Forks. I brought your mom home with me that day and we moved into that house that you and I call home three weeks after being back in Forks." He said heaving a huge sigh. "Those first few years with your mom was absolutely amazing and mind blowing. You remind me so much of her sometimes and so little of her at other times. She was a free-spirit whereas you are an old-soul, like me, but it the little things that I don't know where you learned them from that remind me of her."

"Like what?" I asked running my fingers over the fringe on the edge of the blanket.

Charlie chuckled as he squeezed me tight. "How do you eat your salads?"

"With the dressing in the bottom of the bowl." I told him not knowing where this was going.

He nodded. "Your mother did the same thing. How do you start your baths? Hot or cold water first?"

"Cold." I said not finding that weird at all. I had burnt my finger when I was little testing the hot water and had since then always turned the cold water on first.

"Your mom did the same thing because she too burned her finger when she was a little girl. You eat dill pickle spears with your chocolate ice cream which I frankly find disgusting but that was Renee's favorite snack. I remember the first time you asked for a pickle after I had fixed you a bowl of chocolate ice cream, it broke my heart all over again. I loved your mom, Bella. I loved your mom with everything I had until you came along." He said his voice cracking. "Then my love split between the two of you. She took part of my soul with her when she vanished but I had the best part of both of us to look after."

"Oh daddy." I said wrapping my arms around him as I cried quietly into his shirt.

I felt his tears wet the top of my hair as he held me tight while we let the silence encase us once again.