A/N: From SweetAngelIAm: Room redecoration; fashion
Combined.
Day 3 of my Klaine Week. :D
Disclaimer: I own naught.
Kurt: Do you know what I really need right now?
Blaine: A cigarette?
Kurt: What?
Blaine: Never mind. It's just when somebody says that, usually something with nicotine follows.
Kurt: But I don't smoke. You know I don't.
Blaine: But that's still what follows.
Kurt: But I still don't smoke.
Blaine: I don't care. It's still what happens.
Kurt: Sometimes. Not always.
Blaine: But it could have been.
Kurt: But it wasn't!
Blaine: You're missing the point. It could have been.
Kurt: I'm not going to continue talking about this with you. You're just going to keep on being obstinate, and it's just going to be pointless.
Blaine: Yes. Yes it is.
Kurt: Blaine.
Blaine: Hi.
Kurt: No. Just no.
Blaine: Yes.
Kurt: No.
Blaine: Yes.
Kurt: No. I'm not continuing this.
Kurt: So, as I was saying before we descended into complete disarray. I really really want to do a room redecoration.
Blaine: Then why don't you?
Kurt: Car je n'ai pas de l'argent.
Blaine: You do realise I can't speak French, right?
Kurt: But before, when you'd gone mad, when my phone got confiscated, you translated some stuff into French… je m'ennuie, if I remember.
Blaine: Yeah, but I was using my French textbook for that. That doesn't count.
Kurt: French textbook?
Blaine: Yeah. From Dalton.
Kurt: OK, so you go to Dalton, you're taking French in a very academic school, you have a probably complex textbook and yet you can't speak a word of French? How are you expecting to pass your exams?
Blaine: I cram. Majorly. It works, somehow.
Kurt: Great. And you're learning French why…?
Blaine: Spanish seemed too hard. The endings are all like Latin. You've got to get the verb, but you don't have nous allions etc. It's soy and so on. And I don't like Latin.
Kurt: Right. But you and French just didn't click?
Blaine: Yep.
Kurt: I'd offer you tutoring, but I really don't think that would be productive.
Blaine: No, nor do I…
Kurt: Anyway. Back to my room redecorating!
Blaine: Didn't you just redecorate?
Kurt: Yes. But that was in summer. July. It's now March.
Blaine: And…? That's not even a year.
Kurt: Wait, wait. This may raise an important problem. When was the last time you redecorated?
Blaine: My room? Or our house?
Kurt: Your room. When was the last time you, personally, through your own funds, redecorated?
Blaine: Ummm… it'd probably be about 22 months ago?
Kurt: But… but… that's nearly 2 years…
Blaine: Yep.
Kurt: Two years… how have you lived in the same room for two years? Don't you want a change?
Blaine: You do realise I pretty much live at yours, right?
Kurt: Two years, Blaine. Two years!
Blaine: Yeah? What about it?
Kurt: Wait… didn't you move into your new house two years ago?
Blaine: 22 months ago, to be precise. But yes.
Kurt: I don't know whether I should help you, or just disown you and get it done with.
Blaine: Neither. I'm perfectly happy spending 21/6 at your house, and it really doesn't matter.
Kurt: The thing is – it really does matter. First appearances are everything.
Blaine: But no-one except my friends go in my room anyway, so actually, it really doesn't matter.
Kurt: Even to your best friend. First impressions matter.
Blaine: :O But you're my best friends. Does it matter to you?
Kurt: Have you been here for the entire conversation? It really does.
Blaine: Mr Hummel! I am offended!
Kurt: OK.
Blaine: You callous, callous being.
Kurt: I know. You say that a lot.
Blaine: I am aware of that. Anyway. Why can't you redecorate?
Kurt: No money. Spent them on clothes.
Blaine: You love those two things more than me, I swear. Fashion and room design. It's slightly worrying.
Kurt: I don't love them more than you!
Blaine: Mmm hmm?
Kurt: Alright, fine, maybe I do.
Blaine: Victoryyyyyy.
Kurt: How is that a victory? I've just admitted that I love material things more than you. You, who's the love of my life.
Blaine: Evidently I'm not the love of your life. You're a cheater!
Kurt: What?
Blaine: If you love fashion more than me, that must make fashion the love of your life.
Kurt: Yes…
Blaine: And you've had a constant relationship with fashion for quite a few years, yes?
Kurt: You could call it that…
Blaine: So, therefore, you're cheating on your past relationship with fashion.
Kurt: Yes… but no. Seeing as fashion is an inanimate object…
Blaine: But still!
Kurt: But nothing. It doesn't count if the 'affair' is with something that technically can't love back.
Blaine: Pshh. You know it is really.
Kurt: The thing is though, it really isn't.
Blaine: Nah, it is.
Kurt: No, it's not.
Blaine: Yes it is. You know it is really.
Kurt: I refuse to have this conversation with you. Are you going to help me with my room or not?
Blaine: I should be offended at how many of our conversations you cut off.
Kurt: Are you going to be?
Blaine: I might be.
Kurt: Really? Really, truly, really?
Blaine: I might be.
Kurt: Really?
Blaine: Yep.
Kurt: Are you sure about that?
Blaine: Really, truly.
Kurt: BLAINE! Room? Or not?
Kurt: I can tell procrastination when I see it, you know. I've employed it God knows how often enough. (1)
Blaine: I bet you haven't.
Kurt: Really, Blaine? Really? What do you think? Do you think I just get down to business every single night, or every single day, with all the schoolwork I have to do?
Blaine: Obviously.
Kurt: No. Just no. Can you answer the question? Redecoration?
Blaine: I'm just getting the blue paints. (2)
Kurt: Thank you! I love you!
Blaine: I love you too.
Blaine: Manipulative little bitch. ;)
Kurt: xx
A/N: There we go. Kay. I'll get started on the next one now, shall I? :)
(1) I'm just going to do my bit for the campaign here. Kurt has said 'Oh my God' at least 4 times across all the series on the show. Stop 'Oh my Gaga', 'Oh my Gucci' and 'Oh my Prada' in fanfics! He is an atheist – as am I – but it has become a very secular phrase, as has what the hell, or bloody hell (is that quite British? Or is that just me?). I said Oh my God, or something with that sentiment, at least 5 times in an hour. My friend counted.
STOP THE CULTURE RELATED 'SWEARING'! Cheers.
(2) Yes, this was a reference to a recent Chris Colfer tweet. Those who follow him know what I'm talking about. ;)
Review! Next one's coming around this time, give or take (depending on when I get in from school, how long it takes me to reply to all reviews and if I've finished writing the next one by the evening).
INU xx