A/N: Wow, I haven't really realized how hard it is for me to write Light and L actually having sex without them veering off into huge discussions. I guess that being geniuses entitles them to be able to talk and have sex at the same time? Sounds hard. O.o
Disclaimer: I don't own…I'm just doing this for a little fun.
L did not especially enjoy pregnancy. His feet ached, his back ached, and sometimes his hips hurt. Light was making L take all sorts of vitamin supplements to make up for the lack of nutrients in his food, and besides that, the doctor had told L that he needed to cut down on his caffeine intake, which meant no more coffee. It was very depressing. The only part of pregnancy that L liked was his increased sensitivity, which meant sex with Light was wonderful…as long as he managed to stay awake through it.
"Ryuuzaki, pay attention," Light snapped.
L glanced at him vaguely. "Yes, Raito-kun?"
Light sighed. "It's a huge blow to my ego when you fall asleep whenever we have sex."
L looked only slightly apologetic. "Raito-kun is not at fault. I am becoming increasingly tired and it seems that as soon as we get into bed, my body interprets it as a signal to sleep."
Light groaned. "Then what are we going to do about it?"
"Not have sex in bed?" L suggested.
"I don't think it will matter where we are. As soon as you lie down, you'll fall asleep."
"I don't fall asleep immediately," L protested.
"Of course you don't," Light said sarcastically. "You just fall asleep as soon as I take your clothes off."
"I have already explained that my sleeping habits have nothing to do with Raito-kun's actions," L said stiffly. "I enjoy sex as much as you do, Raito-kun, and I am deeply saddened that I am asleep before I experience it."
Light snorted. "Is it too much to ask that you take a nap sometime during the day so you'll already be rested when we feel like having sex?"
L looked horrified. "I do not nap. Naps are for children and the elderly. I may rest, but never nap."
Light rolled his eyes. "Then could you please try to get some rest in every day? It doesn't have to be much, just at least an hour so you can stay up at least until I'm done screwing you?"
L wrinkled his nose. "I do not appreciate your language, Raito-kun."
Light just scowled at him. "It's not a bad word."
"But you will refrain from using it once the children are born," L said firmly.
"Of course I will," Light said, sounding offended. "Kids don't like to hear their parents talk about having sex."
"It is a very natural thing to do," L said, looking curious. "I'm sure Light-kun's parents-"
"Stop right there," Light said firmly. "I know it's perfectly healthy for them to do it, but I just don't want to hear about it. It makes me feel icky."
"Hmmn." L looked thoughtful. "Perhaps I am not aware of this social taboo because I do not have parents of my own."
"You've been an orphan all your life?"
"Not all my life. My parents died when I was very young. Watari has essentially raised me."
"Oh, I see. Well..um…"
"Do not feel sorry for me," L said placidly. "It is because of you that I am able to observe the dynamics of a family." He paused and frowned in thought. "Do you think we should get married?"
"Married?!" Light jerked away from L as if L had hit him. "What makes you think we should get married? We aren't compatible in any way."
"I say that merely out of interest for our unborn children," L said calmly, ignoring Light's shock. "Currently, there is nothing holding us accountable to each other. After the children are born, there is no guarantee that we will stay together, especially after the case is solved. If we are married, we will be able to stay connected, even if I am called away on another case."
Light frowned. "You really know nothing about marriage, do you?"
"No," L said serenely. "I am waiting for Raito-kun to enlighten me."
"You don't have to be married to have a long-distance relationship. All you have to do is make sure I have your phone number so we can call each other from time to time and maybe visit each other. I'm not going to walk away and leave you with the babies whether or not we're married."
L looked at Light worriedly. "Will our children have problems if they grow up with unmarried parents?"
"No, they'll be fine. Nowadays, it isn't uncommon to have kids before you get married. Some people never get married at all. They have kids, buy a house together, but never get married. It's like a common law marriage or something. You're considered legally married for tax purposes and all that, but you never actually go through the process of marrying."
"I see," L said thoughtfully. "Is Raito-kun against the actual marriage ceremony? Is he afraid he will have to be the bride?"
Light scowled. "If anyone has to wear a dress, you will. But no, that's not the problem. I don't think you want to get married. You'd have to reveal your name."
'Why is that?" L asked sharply. Is this one of Kira's tricks?"
"For the last time, I am not Kira."
L looked slightly amused. "Does that mean if I ask again, the answer will change? His is the last time you are denying being Kira?"
Light's scowl deepened. "That's not what I mean and you know it. What I mean is, this is the last time I want to be asked this question. I want you to stop it with your silly suspicions."
L shrugged and languidly wrapped his arms around Light. "Then why must I reveal my identity, Raito-kun-not-Kira?"
Light rolled his eyes. "You have to put your real name on the marriage certificate. They want to make sure you're not secretly already married to someone else."
L smiled. "I assure you that is not the case."
"Well, it's not me you'll have to convince. So just forget about the whole marriage thing until the Kira case is far behind us, alright?"
L rested his head on Light's chest. "Very well, Raito-kun. What were we talking about before the discussion of marriage was begun?"
Light smirked. "Uh, before we started talking, we were about to have sex until you started nodding off."
"I am awake now," L promised Light. "We may continue without any risk of me falling asleep."
Light smiled. "Good. Then let's continue where we left off."