Rating: M

Characters: Leroy Jethro Gibbs, Tony DiNozzo, Tim McGee, Abby Sciuto, Ducky Mallard, Jimmy Palmer, Ziva David, Leon Vance, OMC, OFC

Pairings: Gibbs/Tony

Warnings: Rape/non-con, torture, violence, trauma, angst, slash, swearing, mild Ziva bashing (She behaved horribly towards Tony at the end of season 6. I never liked her after that.)

Spoilers: Parts of the end of season 6 and the beginning of season 7

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I just like to play with them.

NCISNCISNCISNCISNCIS

"Does Tony think we hate him?" Abby asked worriedly. "I know we haven't been over much. But we get so busy with cases and - "

"Abs." Gibbs put a calming hand on her shoulder. "I think a part of Tony understands. When he's big, he remembers what it was like to work cases, and he knows the demands that puts on your time. He might not like it, but he understands. And when he's regressed, I thinks he's just happy to have someone to play with."

"It's not just that," Abby sighed guiltily. "This whole...regression thing...I just don't know how to act around Tony anymore. After you guys rescued him, I guess he was regressed then too. I see that now. And it was weird at first, seeing Tony act like a baby. But I got used to it. I figured it was just his reaction to what happened to him, and he'd eventually go back to being...I don't know. Some kind of normal. But now we've got this business of Big Tony, Baby Tony, Child Tony...How can I help him when I'm not even sure how I'm supposed to be treating him? It's so confusing."

"It is confusing," Jimmy agreed. "Even when Tony is 'big', he acts really young. Not like most adults I know. Not like the Tony we knew."

Ducky glanced over at Jimmy and Abby in acknowledgement, then turned to Gibbs, giving him a half smile. "But we want to understand him. We really do want to help. Are there any insights you can offer that might help us in our interactions with Tony?"

Gibbs looked thoughtful for a minute, staring down at the table. When it came to Tony, there was a lot he was still figuring out. But there was one common trait that Tony exhibited whether big or little. The one thing that Gibbs now saw he had needed all along.

"Just love him," Gibbs finally said, looking at Ducky, Jimmy and Abby in turn. "Reassure him. Tony is real clingy, and always needs someone close to him. He needs to feel safe."

"That makes sense, after what happened to him," Jimmy nodded solemnly.

"It's more than that," Gibbs sighed. "We let him down. I let him down more than anyone. And I know that just because Tony loves me and feels safe with me, doesn't mean he trusts me not to run off."

Gibbs blinked back the unshed tears that were welling up behind his eyelids. "I think he expects me to leave. Thinks I could go at any time."

"And you think he'll be the same way with us?" Abby asked, unable to contain her own tears, a streak of mascara traveling down her cheek.

"Yeah." Gibbs half nodded. "Probably won't be as bad. But he'll get get attached to you, and then be scared you'll leave him."

"Even when he's big?" Abby asked, clearly trying to make sense of Tony's mental and emotional complexities.

Gibbs swiped a hand across his eyes, catching tears before they had a chance to fall. "Not really much of a difference. Big Tony is a little more independent. You can have a decent conversation with him, and he understands more. But, big or little, his basic needs are the same."

"Hmm."Ducky hummed thoughtfully. "Of course, Baby Tony's needs are a bit more specialized."

"Yeah." Gibbs smiled, eyes gleaming fondly at the thought of his sweet baby boy. "And you know what? Tony seems happiest when he's fully regressed like that."

"That's why you're so accepting of it," Ducky guessed.

"I want Tony to be happy. That's all that matters," Gibbs replied with a half shrug, looking up to see his friend's eyes shining with love. And it struck him once again how the past year had transformed them all for the better. He only wished this transformation hadn't come at so high a price.

Approaching voices pulled Gibbs out of his musings; Tony's, soft and bashful, and McGee's, calm and reassuring. Gibbs' heart filled with warmth at the loving bond shared between the two men. McGee had really proven to be an ideal "big brother" to Tony. A calming, steadying presence in a world Tony still feared.

Entering the room wearing a red onsie, blue sweatpants and red socks, Tony clung tightly to McGee's side. Resting his head on his friend's shoulder, Tony looked up with wide eyes as he drooled around the thumb in his mouth.

Observing the scene before him, Gibbs knew he was looking at Toddler Tony. Mentally, only 2-3 years old. Seeing the way Tony held on to McGee, and that the (physically) younger man had obviously changed Tony's diaper and clothes, Gibbs marvelled at the trust the boy felt for his friend. McGee was probably the only person other than Gibbs who Tony trusted completely. Making a mental note to thank McGee for making the time and effort to comfort and care for Tony, Gibbs walked up to the two men, lightly rubbing Tony's arm.

"Hey, sweetheart," he whispered. "Feeling any better?"

Tony nodded, taking his thumb out of his mouth and reaching out his arms as he fell into Gibbs' welcoming embrace.

"Mad at me?" Tony asked softly, voice tinged with uncertainty and fear.

"Of course not,"Gibbs reassured Tony, hugging him a little tighter. "We just worry about you when you're sad or upset."

"So-wee," Tony mumbled into Gibbs' chest.

"Hey." Gently pulling away from the hug, Gibbs locked eyes with Tony, lightly brushing a tear off of his cheek. "Nothing to be sorry about. I just want you to remember that we all love you very much. And it's okay to be sad. Everyone gets sad sometimes. But we're going to do everything we can to keep a smile on your face."

At these words, Tony blinked, mouth turning up into a faint smile.

"That's what I like to see," Gibbs said with a grin, ruffling Tony's hair a little before leading him to his seat at the table, then sitting down beside him.

"Are you hungry, dear boy?" Ducky asked, watching Gibbs wipe a bit of drool off of Tony's chin. "We haven't eaten yet. We were waiting for our guest of honor."

Tony's eyes lit up, obviously feeling very loved and special at all of the fuss being made over him. "Ice keem!"

"Not yet," Ducky laughed affectionately. "You can have ice cream after dinner."

"Oh, come on!" Abby objected, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Can't Tony have dessert before dinner just this once? It is his special day, after all."

Ducky laughed, looking to Gibbs. "Well, that's really up to you, Jethro. What you do say to switching dinner and dessert, just for today?"

Tony fixed pleading green eyes on Gibbs, and he was just too adorable to say no to.

"Ah...I don't see why not," Gibbs grinned, winking at Tony. "Just this once."

"Yay!" Tony cheered, clapping clumsily.

His happiness was infectious. Soon the room was filled with joy, laughter, and feelings of belonging.

And as Tony's laughter echoed through the room, Gibbs thought there was no sweeter sound in the world.