CHAPTER THIRTY SIX
TRIS POV
"Tris," someone is calling my name.
"Tris, wake up."
"Tris." I turn over to see who is calling my name. I open my eyes and Max is standing over me.
"What is going on?" I ask.
"It's Four," Max says. "I need you to come with me."
I jump out of bed, putting my shoes on and I run to catch up to Max who has already run out the door.
"What happened?" I ask as I'm running next to Max.
"I have no idea. I woke to Caleb banging on my door. All he would tell me was that I needed to get you and to hurry, that there was something wrong with Four," Max says.
A nightmare I think. It would be the only reason.
We reach the leaders wing and Max says, "do you want me to come in?"
"No, if I need you I will come get you," I say. "Go back to sleep Max."
"Thanks Tris," Max says. I can hear how tired he is in his voice. Today must have been hard on him with all the arrests.
As soon as I open the door I can hear Tobias screaming. I wonder what has set this off? He told me he hadn't had many nightmares lately and if he did they weren't bad.
I run into his room and he is thrashing about in bed. I haven't seen him this bad since the first few weeks he lived with us.
I walk over and sit on the bed. I start to run my fingers through his hair. You can't just wake him up when he is this bad. Now that he is older and so much stronger I would hate to see his reaction if he was woken.
I keep running my fingers through his hair and whispering for him to calm down, that it is all going to be okay. He stops screaming and the thrashing is becoming less. I hate having to see him like this. It breaks my heart. I really thought he was in a better place. Something has had to trigger him for this to be so bad.
Finally, he has stopped thrashing and is now just whimpering. I lay down next to him. He is drenched in sweat and the sheets are soaked as well. "Tobias," I say as I keep playing with his hair.
"Tobias, I need you to open your eyes," I say. He grabs hold of me and brings me closer to him.
"Please Tobias, open your eyes," I say.
"No please just let me hold you," he whispers. He sounds so broken.
"Tobias you are soaked; the bed is soaked. I want you to get up so I can make you feel more comfortable," I say. I know he will feel better once he has had a shower and I can change his sheets.
He grips me even tighter to him. It feels like he is frightened if he lets me go I will disappear.
"Tobias please?" I say. "If you get up now I will stay the night."
"You promise Tris? Promise me you will never leave me?" He asks.
"I promise Tobias," I say. He slowly opens his eyes and I can see the pain in them. He lets me go and he rolls onto his back. He looks exhausted.
"Where did this come from?" I ask.
Tobias just shakes his head. I understand he isn't ready to talk about it yet.
"How is he?" Caleb asks from the doorway.
"I'll be fine Caleb," Tobias says. He doesn't sound very convincing.
"How did Max find out?" I ask Caleb.
"I went and knocked on his door. Told him to get you," he says.
"Caleb you could have been seen," I say.
"I know but I didn't know what else to do. You saw what he was like," he says with panic in his voice.
"I need to talk to Zeke," Tobias says.
"Now?" I ask.
"He is in the control room tonight. We need to delete the footage of Caleb in the hall way," Tobias says.
"I will go and see him while you have a shower," I say.
Tobias starts to move off the bed and I can see just how exhausted he really is. He can hardly move. "Do you want some help," I ask him.
"No, just go and get Zeke to get rid of the footage. After tonight we don't know if anyone in Erudite are monitoring our footage," Tobias says.
"They can do that?" Caleb asks.
"They aren't supposed to but they can. I don't trust Erudite; we don't know if we got all of Jeanine's followers yet. Better to be safe," Tobias says.
He stumbles toward the bathroom.
"Caleb can you change his sheets while I am away. I will be as quick as I can," I say.
"Where does he keep them?" Caleb asks.
"I have no idea," I say. "Just check some cupboards. I'm sure you will find them."
"Zeke," I say as I tap his shoulder.
"Tris, what are you doing here?"
"Long story. Short version is that Caleb escaped the apartment. Tobias asked me to come down here and ask you to delete the footage," I say.
"Sure I can do that. What happened?"
"Caleb needed to talk to Max so he went to his apartment," I say. I don't want to explain what happened. He doesn't need to know.
"Where is Four?"
"At home. It is a long story that I really don't want to go into Zeke," I say.
"Does this have anything to do with it?" he says.
Zeke brings up footage onto his screen. Tobias is there with a number of Dauntless guards and it looks like they are escorting some others in hand cuffs.
"What is this?"
"It's the Candor jail. Keep watching."
I watch as they walk past numerous cells. Most are empty. Then I see him.
"Have you got sound?" I ask.
"Yes, here put these on," Zeke says. He hands me a set of headphones. I put them on.
"You can't ignore me forever Tobias," Marcus is shouting. "I am still your father."
Tobias keeps walking as Marcus keeps shouting at him. Not once does Tobias look at Marcus. I don't need to see anymore so I take the headphones off. "You can stop the video Zeke," I say.
"I've got to get back. Thank you for this," I say.
"Is he okay?"
"He will be," I say as I walk out the door. I don't know if he will but I won't be telling anyone that.
"Isn't he out of the shower yet?" I ask Caleb as I walk into the bedroom. Caleb is still making the bed. It must have taken him a while to find the sheets.
"No, I thought I heard sobbing in there. But I didn't feel comfortable going in there," Caleb says.
"I'll go," I say. "I found out what triggered him. He saw Marcus at the jail. When you are finished just go back to bed."
"You don't want any help?"
"No. It could be a long night. No use all of us being sleep deprived," I say.
"It's just like being back at home," Caleb says.
"It is," I say.
I walk into the bathroom and Tobias is sitting on the floor of the shower the water washing over him as he cries. I quickly take my clothes off and enter the shower. Not the way I was hoping to spend my time in a shower with Tobias I am thinking. I shake my head; I can't believe I just thought that.
I crouch down in front of him. "Tobias," I quietly say.
He looks up at me and quickly pulls me down and holds me to him.
"It's okay Tobias, it is all going to be okay," I say.
"How can you say that Tris? Look at me, I'm a mess," Tobias says.
"Yeah well you're my mess," I say with a small smile. "This is because you saw him tonight, isn't it?"
"How did you know?"
"Zeke just showed me the footage from Candor," I say.
I reach up and get the soap and start to wash him. He doesn't stop me and he doesn't try to help. I don't think he has the energy to do it. "Tobias, I need you to get out of here before the water turns cold," I say.
He just shakes his head. He looks like he could fall asleep at any moment. I walk out of the shower, wrap a towel around myself and walk back over to Tobias. I turn the taps off and wrap a towel around him. I start to dry him off.
"Tobias I need you to stand up so I can finish drying you," I say. I hold out my hand and he lets me help to pull him up. "I can do the rest," he says.
"I'll go and get you some clothes," I say.
I get Tobias some clothes and I decide I will take an extra shirt, so I have something to sleep in. I just wear my clothes in the dormitory. I'm not comfortable with a room full of people seeing me in my pyjamas. I walk back into the bathroom and Tobias is drying his hair with a towel. I give him his clothes and we both get dressed.
My hair is soaked so I start to dry it off with my towel. It will just have to stay damp tonight. I need to get Tobias back to bed and he isn't going to go without me lying next to him.
"Come on," I say as I grab his hand and lead him back into the bedroom.
We hop into bed and I put my back to his chest so he can hold me. It was always like this when we were kids. He always needed to hold me after he had one of his nightmares.
"How can you stand to be here with me?" he whispers.
"What do you mean?"
"Look at me I'm so weak and pathetic," he says.
"No you are not. You have never been weak, ever."
"I couldn't even look at him Tris. And look what just hearing his voice has done to me," he says.
"Tobias I don't think it was just hearing his voice that has made this happen," I say. "You, Caleb and I sat around talking about our childhood for a long time today. I'm sure that even though we were only talking about the happy times, it would have stirred up other emotions as well. Hearing Marcus just sent you over the edge."
"Maybe," he says. "Do you ever think I will be free of it?"
"I don't know but I do know that I will always be here if you aren't," I say.
"I love you Tris. I don't think you will ever be able to understand just how much," he says.
"I don't need to understand it. Just know that I love you too Tobias," I say. "Now try and get some sleep."
Hello friends, followers and reviewers. So I just wanted to tell you that this is my favorite chapter in this story. And that is because it was never supposed to be in the story. As I was about to start writing this chapter this idea popped into my head and so I just went with it. I usually have my chapters carefully planned out but I thought this idea was important. I know it is a sad chapter but I hope you enjoy reading it. As always thank you for all your support and happy reading.