August 1992
Remus did not remember the way between Hogsmeade and the castle being this long. Maybe he had been overly distracted every time he had walked up and down this path, surrounded by friends, plans and excitement.
Now everything seemed to be unseasonably quiet.
He looked up at the still bright sun in the afternoon. It was a clear, hot afternoon; the creatures in the nearby woods were probably lying on the shadows, waiting for the hottest hour to pass before venturing any further.
He could not decide if he ought to succumb to his flooding memories or try his best to keep them at bay. It was a silly thought, he realised. The memories seem to belong to this place and, no matter how hard he tried to ignore it, he could practically hear his friends' voices and see a bunch of kids running around.
Finally he reached the gates. He did not expect anybody to be there to greet him and yet the massive outline of the gamekeeper was blocking half of the path that leaded to the castle.
"All righ', Remus?" Hagrid voice boomed, disrupting the quiet of the summer afternoon.
"Hello, Hagrid."
"How've ya been?" he gave Remus a pat on the back that almost sent him flying back a couple of meters.
"I've been fine," he gasped.
Hagrid smiled and pointed at the castle.
"Dumbledore's waiting for ya, we better hurry."
"Sure, thanks,"
"You've grown quite a bit, haven't ya?" Hagrid was saying, while walking up the path leading to the castle. "Feels like yesterday the las' time I saw ya."
Remus chuckled, trying to put the sad memories of that last time aside. It had been James and Lily's funeral and he very much doubted he had grown a millimetre since. Hagrid was probably thinking about another time, back at school maybe.
"Thank you for writing me, Hagrid," he said. "I hope my Mum could send you what you wanted?"
"She did, bless 'er. Great woman, yer mum. Wrote a mighty nice letter too. 'Ow's she lately?"
"She's all right."
It had been a short letter that now was lying inside Remus' pocket; it had asked him for old photographs he might have from James and Lily. He had been in Turkey when the owl had finally found him, so he had asked his mother to run through his things and send them to Hagrid.
His curiosity had been awoken, though. In a second letter, Hagrid had told him not only that Harry had nearly finished his first year at Hogwarts, but also about what had happened mere months ago inside the school.
Dumbledore reckon he's back. You-know-who.
Remus had wasted no time in writing to the Headmaster, asking for a meeting. His letter of response was now lying on his pocket as well. What would they actually talk about, he had only a vague idea. He wanted to know exactly what had happened of course, but why had not he asked in a letter? He had to admit there had been this… very strange feeling of anticipation, as if something would be about to happen. So he had travelled back.
Lost in his own thoughts and trying to stop his mind from imagining a much younger version of himself running through the school corridors so long ago, Remus almost startled when he found himself in front of the stone gargoyle that lead to Dumbledore's office.
"I'll leave ya 'ere," Hagrid said, in a somewhat subdues tone, pointing at the opening on the wall, where the spiral staircase was now visible.
Remus nodded and climbed up. Last time he had been here, he had not been alone, but he was not to think about that particular occasion either. This was another time, another life, and new situation he was about to face.
The stairs came to a halt and the office door opened. Dumbledore was standing on the threshold not looking a day older than the last time Remus had seen him.
"Welcome, welcome back, Remus," he said smiling.
Remus could not help but smile back.
"Good afternoon, Headmaster."
"Come on in, take a sit. And please, Remus, I do beg you to call me Albus."
Remus nodded and took the sit Dumbledore was pointing. The Headmaster took his usual place behind his desk.
"Can I offer you something to drink?" he said, pointing at a bottle filled with amber liquid and two glasses.
Remus shook his head.
"I must say, it was a very nice surprise to get your letter," Dumbledore pointed his long finger to a piece of paper lying on his desk; Remus could make out his own handwriting. "Tell me, Remus, how have you been?"
He weighted his words for a moment. Knowing Dumbledore, Remus knew he would not settle with his usual response: 'fine'.
"It's been… interesting," he started. "At first it was discouraging, I must say. I went abroad full with silly, idealistic ideas, even though I didn't realise it at the time. Later on I lost them and ever since I've been both studying and training, while still looking for others like me, for a group willing to accept me amongst its members."
"Didn't they accept you?"
Remus shook his head.
"I think I've not explained myself correctly. I've been a member of several packs, I've lived with many of them and… I guess you could say I was more or less an accepted member. There were things missing, though. Comradeship is a rare treat in werewolves, so is anything linked to the human world. Most of them just stay close-by, always waiting for the next full moon."
"I see why you didn't…"
"It is very unusual to find a werewolf willing to do something else. They rarely even talk."
Dumbledore nodded slowly, but did not say a thing.
"Sometimes, Albus, I used to think you did me a great damage when letting me come to Hogwarts," Remus smiled, trying to take importance off his words. "I wanted more, you see. I still do. I want to learn, and train, and have conversations, and behave like any other wizard or witch. So far there are just isolated individuals I've found willing to do that. Not packs. I wonder why but, whenever werewolves come together in a pack, the most animal side of them emerges. It's been discouraging."
"And what do you think now?" Dumbledore's eyes were steady on his.
"In the last years I stopped devoting all of my time to searching for packs or isolated werewolves. I just travelled, trying to learn and sometimes even staying in one place long enough to conduct some researches. I never stay that long, though, two or three months after my arrival somebody would eventually notice what I am, and I tried to avoid struggles at any cost."
"I see."
"But I didn't came here tonight to tell you all this, I suppose," Remus smiled at the Headmaster.
"Why did you come here, Remus?"
"I want to know what happened two months ago. Rumour has it, Voldemort is back."
The spark in Dumbledore's eyes seemed to diminish a little.
"Indeed he is," he said. "He's weak, unable to have a body of his own, and as far as I know, he's also without friends or collaborators. But, just as we discussed when he disappeared, that doesn't mean he won't be back."
"Hagrid said Harry Potter met him."
For a moment it seemed Dumbledore was considering what to say.
"He did. He… he is very much like James."
"Physically he is," Remus said, remembering the skinny boy in the back garden, "but I don't think he's got James' nerve."
"Oh, in that you're mistaken," Dumbledore smiled. "He is very much like James, although you might find there are also a lot of Lily's qualities in him. But this time it was James' courage that made him go after what he suspected could be dangerous to the school and, ultimately, he met Voldemort."
"How could he survive?"
"There were many things," Dumbledore spoke slowly, and Remus had the distinct impression there was something the Headmaster was not telling him. "Fortunately I arrived on time to prevent any serious damage."
Remus nodded.
"What do you want me to do?" the words escaped his mouth without him planning them to.
The old wizard considered him for a long moment.
"For a moment you reminded me strongly of an old version of yourself, asking for tasks for the Order of the Phoenix."
Remus did not know what to say.
"You can keep an eye open, of course. I am sure Voldemort would want to come back eventually but, while still trying to gain his strength, he might as well be abroad-"
"I want to come back," Remus interrupted, and again the strength of his determination surprised him. "To stay."
"Do you?" Dumbledore raised his eyebrows and yet Remus had the impression he was not that surprised.
"I feel that my place is here, doing what I've done best in my life: fight."
"I must disagree with that statement, Remus. I don't think fighting is the best you can do. Of course, in a duel, you are one of the greatest wizards I've ever seen," Dumbledore hastened to say. "And still, forgive me, Remus, but I am certain that you can be much better in many other fields."
Remus shook his head.
"Maybe I could, but we both know there is no place for me to prove that."
He did not intend his voice to sound so harsh but he could not take his statement back. It was true.
Dumbledore just smiled and for a long moment none of them said a thing. Remus knew the Headmaster not the power to stop him from staying back and trying to look for any signs that Voldemort might be trying to come back again, but he also knew it would be much productive if he would work with him.
"Lately I've been training," Remus finally spoke. "I've been learning from different wizards and witches in many places. I think that some of the things I know might be useful."
"I do not doubt that," Dumbledore nodded. "And yet I wonder, would you feel more useful here, though?"
"I think it's here where he will be, eventually."
"Oh, I agree. But is it here where you want to be?"
It was not a difficult question.
"There is nowhere else," Remus said softly.
Dumbledore considered him again, the tips of his long fingers pressed together.
"Faith is something so difficult to explain," he said slowly. "Either you have it or you don't, and moreover, it is almost impossible to change. I wonder why Alastor had faith in you."
Remus raised an eyebrow, not sure if he was following the Headmaster's speech. He smiled.
"I have a lot of faith in people and I am not as foolish as to think that isn't dangerous. Sometimes I have put my faith in people that didn't deserve it. But most of the time, and forgive me to say it so immodestly, my faith has been adequately placed. Alastor Moody, on the other hand, is almost exactly the opposite. Faith for him is a rare treat. And that's when I wonder, what did he see in you that made him place his so very scarce faith in you?"
Remus did not know what to say.
"This is just an old man's rambling, Remus. You should not pay much attention to it… and yet, we both have faith, we are sure about your importance, about the great things you could achieve, about the great possibilities for your future."
For a moment Remus had to fight a snort escaping from his lips.
"But," Dumbledore continued in a more business-like tone, "since you've offered your help so generously, the least I could do is thank you. And yes, I am sure there are a number of things you could do if you are willing to."
"Thank you, Albus."
"I will ask you to get in touch with me as soon as you find yourself adequately settled. For the time being, I will ask you to keep tabs on old Death Eaters. There had been almost not movement whatsoever in all these years, but now that something has happened, we could assume that they might grow restless and try to do something."
There was a tone of dismissal in Dumbledore's voice, and Remus stood up.
"Thank you very much," he said.
"There is something else," the headmaster stood up as well. "Have you heard about the Wolfsbane potion?"
Remus frowned, trying to remember. The word was not completely unknown.
"Has it something to do with aconite?"
"As a matter of fact, it does. It is quite a recent discovery and you might want to look for it. I was reading about that potion not long ago and, as a matter of fact, aconite is one of its main ingredients. Damocles Belby just received the Order of Merlin for inventing it. Its main treat is to prevent the dementia during a werewolf transformation."
It took Remus a moment to understand the full scope of what Dumbledore was saying.
"Do you mean that… that this potion… this Wolfsbane makes a werewolf harmless? Does it prevent him from transform?"
"No, sadly it doesn't," Dumbledore shook his head. "But it does prevent a transformed werewolf to succumb to its natural instincts. It turns him or her into a pacific werewolf, completely harmless and quiet."
Remus did not know what to say. The existence of such a potion would mean that he would not have to Apparate away every time the full moon was approaching, it would mean he did not have to fear for others, he would almost lead a normal life! It sounded way too good to be true.
"You might want to look for it," Dumbledore added.
He just nodded, and shook the Headmaster's hand.
"Thank you for meeting with me."
"Thank you, Remus."
He was opening the door when Dumbledore spoke again.
"Incidentally…"
"Yes?"
"How would you like to teach, Remus?"
"Teach?"
He stared blankly at Dumbledore while the word seemed to reverberate inside his head.
"There was a position here at Hogwarts I am sure you could perfectly well fit into, but sadly I just gave it to somebody else."
"I can't teach in a school, Albus! Are you serious? What about the thread to the kids? What about the periods I would not be able to attend to classes?"
Dumbledore smiled and the gesture irritated Remus. Faith might be one thing, but this idea was downright foolish.
"I remember a little boy saying more or less the same things to me, not that long ago. There was hope in that boy, and it was so beautiful to see it. I do wish I could see something like this again in the man that boy had become."
Remus opened his mouth to answer but the old wizard cut across.
"The position had been taken, so there is no point on talking about this any further. I would suggest though for you to consider it, for a not so distant future, perhaps? Good evening, Remus."
AN: I want to thank Naina15, who has generously offered to beta the already published 'Tonks' Tale'. Thank you very very much!
Happy Holidays to you all!