She wonders about his response and asks, "Does it feel like a show to you when we're shooting? Because to me, it doesn't, or at least today it didn't. It felt like somebody had inside information about us. I saw you in those last two scenes T. I didn't see Fitz."
He nods as he says, "I agree, it's familiar Ker, and yes I was present in every moment. I felt it, and I felt you. But I think it works to our advantage for our characters, because their reactions will be authentic. So you have to keep it in perspective in regard to the show."
She hears him but she doesn't think he's hearing her. So she replies, "Tony, it's not just about the show. It's about us. That's what I am talking about. How will things be with Jane and the girls once we are on television every week, playing out snippets of our lives?"
He then realizes where this is ending up, and he can't stop the crash up ahead as he responds, "The girls will be fine Ker, and Jane will be who she is. She will be who she has always been, since we've been together. So why are you letting her get into your head? You know she's playing a game here, and you're falling for it hook, line, and sinker."
She hears him, and she doesn't have an answer. She knows that Jane's phone call, was meant to cause problems for them. She's playing the role of evil puppeteer, and as much as Kerry wants to act like it's not bothering her. It really is getting to her and she's struggling to keep her head. He sees her in thought, and the she looks at him and says, "I know I need to let her antics go. But for some reason, I just can't."
Her words cover him, like a blanket. He knows why she can't let go, and he wants to say it without causing a fight. But he's not sure if that's possible. Their emotions are running high, and he was looking to calm things down. But they've reached the point of no return.
She sees him sit back, after letting go of her hand, and start eating the rest of his ice cream. She knows he was about to say something, but he stopped himself. She initially tries to act like it's not an issue. But she can't help it and says, "Say what you want to say Tony."
He replies, "No Ker, that's okay. I don't know how to say it without making you more upset, and I don't want to fight with you." She replies, "Well, if you don't say it. I am going to be mad anyway, so please just say it." He looks at her and says, "The reason you're allowing her phone call to bother you is because you feel threatened by her. Her name or presence reminds you of our situation, and makes things uncomfortable for you."
His words hang in the air, and she sits with them. He sees her working through his words, and he's impressed. She's obviously upset, but she's thinking before she responds, so he lets her have her time.
As several minutes pass, she looks at him and says, "I don't want her to have this power over me Tony, and I don't know how to stop it." He gets up and walks over to her, and pulls her into his arms. She begins to sob, and he holds her. She knows that she has the power to change the situation, and it's her choice that keeps them in this space.
She's always thought that his marriage situation was not an issue; she convinced herself that it was fine. They'd been estranged even before she and Tony met. But she never thought that four years later they'd be here. They'd be so hopelessly in love, and she'd still be encouraging him to continue to perpetuate a marriage that has been nonexistent for over a decade. Yet here they are, and she knows it's her fault. How do you stomach the fact that you're the reason you're not able to be completely happy.
He feels her pain and understands her conflict. Like she said, she's worked hard for what she has, and doesn't want to limit herself professionally, because of who she's involved with romantically. It's painful to hear, but it's the truth and it's the first time they have actually sat with it together.
Oddly enough, the silence is helpful for both of them as he comforts her, because there are no words that can fix this, other than the ones he knows she's not ready to say. So all they can do is deal with their emotions and prepare to face what's coming next.
Thank you for continuing to follow this Terryfic. I appreciate all of the comments and encouraging words. This story is really growing more as I go and I am excited to see where it ends.
In the next installment we find out if Kerry's fears are true or not. Will those who support their union really continue to do so, when the show airs? How will Kerry deal with her truth concerning their relationship, and the success of the show?
We also see how long it takes before the buzz about her and Tony's chemistry begins to bear fruit. Based on their on screen performances, will people continue to believe the chemistry stops when the cameras go off? All this and more in the next installment of Timing is Everything.