My Doppelgänger

~Chapter 36

Elijah's abandoning us after the great quarrel he and Niklaus had, has managed to reveal yet another side to my husband. His paranoia has intensified and he would not let me or Marcellus out of his sight. It was quite tedious and suffocating for me. As much as I used to hate his usual morning and afternoon rendezvous all over the French quarter, I did not like my husband being in my way. I could see he was also being too much on Marcel, however the young boy having spent his 10 years without family enjoyed every second of affection he got from Niklaus.

My husband clearly feared losing us both, after having pushed Elijah away. I urged him to go make up with Elijah who decided to leave New Orleans for the time being, but my husband's pride was too great.

As much as I wanted to be angry at Elijah for leaving us, for leaving Marcel behind and me with my sadistic husband, I could not blame him for leaving us. How could I? When I myself wished I could be rid of the same man Elijah had succeeding in freeing himself from.

My husband was a vicious man and I got to experience that every now and then. Every once in a while in Elijah's absence he would lash out after weeks of giving me the princess treatment, and it would not be pretty. He would store all his anger and resentment and suddenly strike. I wanted to leave him, I truly did, but I did not want to leave Marcellus behind. Although sometimes I would think about the way I would do it. I knew I would find a way to free myself from him for a couple of months, maybe even years, given a cloaking spell. But nor did I want to go through all that trouble, neither did I want to leave his side, after having promised I never would. But then I realized that I could not forsake him, not at that point in time, not when he was that vulnerable after Elijah walking out. Who knew what would happen to him if I did?

Klaus had started to focus all his energy and waking moment obsessing over breaking the curse. He made it his new mission. After the row with Elijah he felt he needed a new family. He would rage every day and every night about creating one that could not leave him, one that would constantly be loyal and hangs on his every word. It was no surprise that I did not fit the bill as I was not one to obey his commands.

I remember it being several months after the incident with Elijah. His brother had left and not a word was heard from him after that day. Seventeen year old Marcel had been gloomy, he missed his step-uncle and his fencing teacher. I could not get him the former, so I decided to surprise him with the latter. We had not yet provided him with a fencing teacher, because Niklaus decided against it. He had said he would fetch one himself, but months had passed and we all knew he was not going to; he did not want anyone else to replace Elijah's role.

Marcel was having his first fencing lesson that day and I was just a few feet away reading a book on a chair in the courtyard, where I would usually be. Niklaus had left us, it was not usual for him to leave us after Elijah's leave, but he coincidentally had. He had told me that he was meeting with a source who had word of the doppelganger's return. However, we later found out it had been only a rumor. I remember Niklaus afterwards, boasting about the way he had crushed that lying man's heart, and I rolled my eyes at the gory details. We all knew the doppelgänger would not return to the face of the Earth, not for another century at best. At least that was what the witches had said.

The teacher and the student were just getting acquainted in the courtyard, when my husband barged in. You can imagine it was quite the déjà vu.

"You've dared to disobey me…" Niklaus growled at me, as he pointed his forefinger angrily in my direction, while his eyes looked into mine with such disappointment and disdain. I immediately realized that I had not only infuriated him, but let him down. I inhaled deeply then I looked downwards, mortified. I could see Marcel from the corner of my eyes breathing heavily not far away from me while the teacher's eyes started to dart around warily.

"Leave us Marcellus… and take him with you before I rip him to pieces," he spitted to Marcel, as he gritted his teeth, his eyes not bothering to leave me. Marcel quickly nodded a few times, knowing it would be best to take the teacher away before Niklaus changed his mind. Then they both hurried out the door.

I sighed heavily as soon as we were left alone together. I closed my book and stood up about to talk to Niklaus. That's when I found him speeding up towards me in his superhuman speed, his forefinger pointed in my face. I became aware of his broken pale blue eyes as they looked harshly into mine.

"I thought I told you not get him a fencing teacher…" he hissed at me, causing me to take a cautionary step backwards, which he responded to with a forward one of his own.

"Nik-," I was about to utter before he cut me off mid-sentence.

"How many times must I repeat myself Elena..." he told me spitefully, his voice had turned into bare hiss as he talked in between his teeth. Then he closed his eyes shut.

"It's been months of this Nik! Elijah is gone and he is never coming back! You made sure of that, didn't you?" I snarled at him as I shook my head in contempt.

"DO NOT MENTION HIS NAME!" He roared in my face, causing me to close my eyes for a long moment. It was not my finest moment and I realized that I had angered him even more than I had before.

Even after every time my husband has lashed out at me during our heated arguments, I still found it myself to provoke him once more. It was such a silly dance my husband and I found ourselves into every now and then. I would disobey him, he would get mad and furious, I would enrage him even more and it would lead us to both getting hurt and not just emotionally. I mostly deserved it, but he was my husband and I hated having to feel guilty for merely knowing him.

After his outrage, he had calmed down and regained his composure. Then he flashed me a vicious smile. I held my breath, simply seeing it plastered on his face. I had come to memorize all the lines of our fights, and how we both would react to one another's sentences. Subsequently I knew what was about to come next, after that malicious smile, would be unpleasant.

"Why must you be so bitter, my darling wife?" he spat at me before he suddenly grabbed my arm, like he normally did when we fought. I did not respond, I simply lifted my chin and narrowed my eyes in his direction. He tilted his head slightly to the right side and then to the left as he searched my face with those pale, unforgiving eyes of his.

"I should have used you in the damned ritual and I would have broken my bloody curse and I would be free from it and you," he maliciously told me, quite vindictively. His eyes widened for a brief second as he comprehended what he had told me in the sheer moment of torture.

I closed my eyes for a mere second, opened them again and pursed my lips. After the endless anguish and nonsense he told me over the course of the years, it probably had to have made the top ten list, still not the first one however. It was not an everyday matter that a husband would tell his wife he should have killed her when he had the chance.

He closed his eyes shut and looked down and I felt his hold on my arm loosen up.

"You would have saved us both the heartache if you did…" I shot back at him, cautiously trying to make sure my voice would not break.

"You know I did not mean what I said sweetheart…" he uttered, blinking a few times.

I could not stand to look at his face any longer, let alone have it only inches away from mine. I was about to walk off, when his arm imprisoned mine once more. I exhaled deeply as I found my path obstructed by his body.

"Elena…" he tried to whisper again. There was no way I was leaving his sight. I knew that. So, without warning I twisted my arm beneath his grip. It was painful, but it was worth it if it meant getting him out of my face. I tried not to gasp, but I ended up failing.

I had the element of surprise on my side and I heard my husband inhale sharply at my sudden movement and the cracking sound my arm had managed to make, which results in him hastily setting my arm free. I rubbed my arm, in attempt to ease the pain, while I looked up to look at Niklaus. His pale eyes were widened and his lips were parted, probably still shocked by my movement. I simply shook my head in disappointment in his direction, before I stormed off.

He tried to make it up to me that night, he offered me his blood to lessen the pain in my arm, but that pain did not matter, at least not when compared to the agony I felt inside me. I knew it was not the same. We were not the same. At least we would not be for a while. My husband and I had hurt each other over the course of the years, but every once in a while a fight would manage to stick out from the rest and it reminded us both how painful and intoxicating our relationship really was.

But how could I leave him when I knew he was the only one capable to love me while knowing all the things I had done? I knew he loved me in his own twisted way, but that was enough for me, even more than enough. Niklaus loved me with such a passion, that it was that kind of passion that most people search for their whole lives. Even though his passion ended up hurting us in the end, I knew that I would never really trade it for anything else.

A few months after the confrontation I had with Niklaus, it was due for Marcel's eighteenth Birthday. My husband wanted to throw him the most magnificent banquet, of course. He loved Marcel, yes, but mostly I think he was trying to forget about his still unbroken curse, the problems I constantly caused him and also his brother's absence.

I was still sore at him for the quarrel we had, even though months had passed. I gave him the cold shoulder and in return he gave me my space. He started having his meetings and appointments around the quarter once again and he also stopped sleeping at our mansion at night. Apparently he decided he would sleep in a tavern or a brothel with his whores and his so called new associates, vampires he had recently sired, just like he always did when we moved around.

I preferred it that way. It was better than having him breathing down my shoulder. I was not ready to share my bed with him, at least not yet.

Marcel was handsomely dressed the afternoon of his banquet and lots of young women had his eyes on him. He was shy, our Marcel, but he went after what he wanted and that included women. He had not yet bedded one, but I expected he would soon. I could not lie, I did not like the idea of him sharing his bed with a woman, I still thought of Marcel as our little Marcellus, but he was aging up, unlike me and Niklaus.

My husband and I had not spoken for several weeks, but we both put up our pretenses for the sake of Marcel. I tried to reach out to Elijah, I knew Marcel would want him to be at his party, but I received no response from him.

Niklaus and I were mingling about the party, our arms intertwined. He stopped to converse with several noble people throughout, who attended the banquet, boasting and patronizing them the whole way through, I, however, smiled politely when I thought was suitable, but other than that I stared off into the distance, lost in my own world. A world which did not really include anything, other than emptiness and misery. It was undoubtedly Marcel the one who kept me sane throughout the months.

"Darling…" I sensed him whisper in my ear. I blinked a couple of times as I felt myself being drawn back to reality. I turned my head to the side, finding Klaus staring impatiently in my direction, as his eyes darted from me towards the people he had been talking to. Once again, I smiled politely towards them, not saying anything, before turning back to my staring contest with the wall.

"Excuse my dear wife, she has been feeling rather ill…" my husband told them with his sympathetic face. They all nodded and looked at me with such pity, before they walked off. Even thought they were not facing me as they walked away, I knew they were talking about the lunatic wife of their gracious host. I only rolled my eyes and looked away, exhaling in exhaustion.

"You seem like a bloody corpse Lena… You need to lighten up, besides you're being rather rude to our guests…" he hissed in my ear, slowly. I could feel his hot breath on my neck. I took a deep breath, before I spun my head in his direction.

"I don't care!" I snapped back at him a little too loudly.

Guests were suddenly looking at us and whispering in each other's ears. Niklaus scanned the crowd quickly then his eyes found mine again and I saw them getting cold. He closed them for a brief second, clearly trying to restrain himself.

"You're causing a scene darling I suggest you go upstairs…" he told me in a very low tone, unmistakably giving me a warning. I glared at him from my position and he kept looking intensely back for far too long and people had returned to their conversations.

"Forgive me, but I do not believe I had the chance to speak to my sweet sister in law…" a voice from behind us said. Niklaus and I spun around in unison, recognizing that voice oh too well. I heard my husband softly gasp from beside me.

"I thank you for the invitation, Elena…" Elijah told me with a polite smile, just like he always did.

"Elijah…" I whispered in awe, as I moved in to hug him. I buried my face in his neck, savoring his familiar smell as he held me against him. He was not only Niklaus' family, he was mine too. After we embraced each other, I stepped back in my former position beside Niklaus.

My husband was staring down at the ground and I knew he was hiding his shame and perhaps even a tear or two. The pair stared at each other for a long time, both in silence. Before Elijah swooped in and held close his younger brother. Niklaus was immobile for a couple of seconds, but eventually embracing him back. I could see him closing his eyes, probably treasuring the moment. I knew how much he had missed him, he had not been the same without Elijah. Neither of us have.

Elijah moved away from Niklaus and my husband put his arm on Elijah's shoulder as he looked into his brother's eyes.

"Let's go make up for lost time, dearest Elijah…" he told his older brother as he flashed him a mischievous grin and gave him another pat on the shoulder. Elijah gave him a smirk of his own before they walked off together, thick as thieves once again.

I smiled to myself knowing my husband would be his old self again, before I went to search for Marcel in order to wish him a happy birthday for the millionth time that day.

He was nowhere to be seen and I had to ask some of the servants before they pointed me towards a secluded area, which involved sofas and lounges and was perfectly hid by some curtains.

I peeked in, to find Marcel heavily making out with one of the women I had seen him earlier talking to. My lips parted in surprise as I immediately let go of the curtain and turned away. I was not expecting that.

I was once again left on my own and decided to take my husband's advice and go upstairs.

I was lying in my bed still in my party dress several hours later and I knew the banquet come to an end. I heard the guests leaving and the sound of the servants cleaning up the mess the nobles had left behind.

I heard someone open the door and I knew it was one of the maids bringing me another bottle of champagne to entertain myself with. Niklaus would not be with me until the late morning, might as well enjoy myself while he was gone.

"Leave the bottle on the dresser, thank you…" I half-drunkenly told the servant, not bothering to look up.

"I thought we could open it up and toast to Elijah's return…" his deep voice whispered from the doorway. I spun around in my bed and looked up. Niklaus. He had returned for the night, for the first time in months. He had my champagne bottle in his hands.

"I fetched it for you myself, heard you requesting it from downstairs…" he told me with a little smirk.

I rolled off the bed and was about to stand up, but I was way more drunk that I had thought. My husband sped up to me and held me just before I was about to stumble onto the floor. I looked up to him, my head was spinning and so was the room. His pale eyes stared worriedly into mine.

"Easy love, you have had one too many drinks, I see…" he whispered as he flashed me another sly smirk. I closed my eyes and smiled to myself as I held on to him. I had missed his hands holding me, which was when they were not grabbing me a little too strongly.

He moved me to the bed and put me slowly down. I felt better, much more stable. The room did not spin as much as before. I looked up and he was still staring at me intently with a little smile on his face. I instantly remembered the cruel one he had given me that day, before he had grabbed my arm harshly and I instantly felt myself sobering up.

"Get away from me…" I whispered in his direction, as I crawled on the bed and stood up from its other end, so that Niklaus and I stood on either side of the bed. He lifted his hands up, in a surrendering position.

"Elena…" he whispered to me, his eyes looking worriedly at me, but I did not want to hear it and turned around, giving him my back as I stared out the window. I saw the guests heading out of our mansion. Some couples were laughing and clinging on to each other tipsily, others were simply holding hands as they reached their carriages.

To them all it was the great Mikaelson mansion, for me it was my prison. It had been for the last eight years and it would continue to be for God knew how much.

I heard him walking towards me.

"Don't Nik!" I almost shouted, my back still facing him. I felt him embracing me from the behind, surprisingly enough I did not find myself resisting him, but I just let him hold me.

"You cannot keep denying me forever sweetheart, you know that…" he whispered in my ear from behind.

"I'm still cross at you Niklaus…" I whispered back, firmly. A lone tear escaped the corner of my eyes. He instantly turned me around so I could face him, his forefinger wiped away my tear.

"I know my love, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…" he whispered over and over again, as his pale eyes glimmered in the moonlight. His pale blue pools looked broken and he had his usual face on, the face he made when he was feeling bad for what he had done and his eyes would be shining as they were on the verge of shedding tears. The face I had come to loath, because it was the face that made me forgive him and surrender everything to him.

"Don't make that face and say that you're sorry to me Nik!" I shouted at him, leaving me breathless from my rage. He closed his eyes, pursed his full lips and looked down for a moment. Then I felt myself getting a little light headed once more and if it were not for Klaus I would have fallen.

That's when I saw his eyes turning black and red before he bit into his wrist. Blood was dripping down his arm and I could not look away from it. Even though it had been a while since I was a vampire, my husband's blood was never my source of food, but rather a means of desire and pleasure.

So I bit my lip, longing for his blood before he gave me a nod and a smirk. I instantly moved in to his wrist and suckled on his blood, while he held my head and his fingers ran through my hair.

"There we go sweetheart…" I heard him say in an inaudible whisper as I felt my vision getting clearer by the second. He gave me a slight nod as he turned to leave. That's when I realized how much I had missed him, how much I wanted him, how much I needed him. He was my husband and I had the worst fate of all, I could not be without the man who I hated and loved at the same time.

"Nik…" I whispered, just as he was about to leave. I instantly felt his lips crashing down on mine and I knew I was at peace.

A/N: Sorry for the long wait guys! I had finals and I was really busy, but I will start updating regularly once more. My reviews have decreased, I hope the story is still holding your interest, so pretty please give me more reviews! I need some assurance :) Thanks and see you all in the next update!