AN: This was hard. I wanted to write Arya's leaving from Rickon's POV. I tried to capture him being young but I know I have a bad habit of writing characters as behaving older than they are. I gave it a try.

Things will move along more in the next chapters I think. There should be less talk, more action

Chapter 36: Rickon

Rickon hid in the godswood, Shaggydog lying beside him. He knew just where to go so he wouldn't be found. Osha could find him and Arya would if she used Nymeria but she hadn't. She was too busy with all the lords in the Great Hall. I hate her. I hate all of them.

He had tried to tell her he didn't want her to go. He could barely remember when mother had left. He could barely remember when Robb had left. Father had left too. They didn't come back. They were dead. Arya was the only one who had come back. Now she was going again.

I hate her.

She had made him care and now it hurt. He wished he had stayed in Skagos. He had told her too. He had told her he hated her and told her he wished he'd never come and her face had done that thing, that thing that the lords bannermen all whispered about. She didn't react at all. Not a muscle moved but the light caught her eyes and he could see the moisture on her lashes and he knew she was upset. She had left before he could say he didn't mean it.

Two days before they marched he had hidden until he got so hungry he had to go to the kitchens. Shaggydog had almost bitten two of the knights along the way. Rickon tried to control him, he really did but Shaggy was as angry as he was. He couldn't help it.

Rickon was glad most of the men were going. Arya had said Brienne was staying and the bear lady they called the She-Bear. She sometimes growled like a bear and she told Rickon stories. She didn't treat him like a child. He was glad she was staying but he didn't tell Arya that.

As the time got closer to the march he spent more time in Shaggy's skin. He didn't want to be a boy. The direwolf did not have to think about lordly duties. He did not have to sit and nod and listen and pretend to care about all the things the men in the hall talked about.

Shaggy slept in his chambers at night. That way he wasn't bothered. Osha sometimes came to see him. He wasn't used to sleeping on his own. He had been going to Arya's chambers but he wouldn't do that now. He slept alone. He woke in the night and saw somebody in his room. Shaggy wasn't growling and Rickon tried not to be afraid. They moved forward silently and sat on his bed.

"Arya"

She lit a candle. He didn't know how she was able to do things in the dark. He had asked her once and she had said she had learned to when she was blind. He didn't know what she meant. She said strange things like that and he never knew what she meant.

"I don't want you to die" he blurted.

"Valar moghulus" she said with a shrug. "All men must die".

He wanted to shout when she said that.

"But I don't want you to" he whispered.

She took his hands. "I have to do this Rickon. These men are helping the people who killed father. They helped kill Robb and mother and they tried to hurt you and Bran".

"I heard them say you didn't have to go" he argued.

She looked angry. "They were wrong. They should not say that. They would not say that if I wasn't a woman".

"You are a better fighter than them" he offered.

She smiled. It was one of her real smiles. Her eyes twinkled when she really smiled, grey eyes like father's and Jon's.

"I'm better than any of them know. I want you to be safe. I will write often. You need to be good for Aly and Brienne. Keep up with your lessons. You need to be able to fight well and you need to know your letters for when I write you".

He chewed on his lip and she poked him. "What?"

He hesitated. "I'm scared Arya". He hadn't wanted to say it. Saying it made it real.

Her face softened. "So am I".

"Really?"

Rickon had never seen Arya look frightened. Arya frightened people, they didn't frighten her. He had seen her in the hall and in the yard, the men had tried to scare her. Sometimes they made threats, sometimes they made demands and Arya never looked at all worried or frightened. She would use Nymeria to teach them a lesson, just to scare them or she would use her words. She had a way of saying things which seemed to make her much bigger and much more frightening than she looked.

"I'm scared about you" she said. "We have to be brave. There are lots of things we don't want to do but we do it anyway". She lowered her voice to a whisper. "I don't want to be Lady of Winterfell but I will do it".

He frowned. "I don't want to be the Stark in Winterfell'.

She ruffled his hair. "I know little wolf but you can do it".

That made him angry. "I know I can do it. I just don't want to".

She sighed. "We all have things we don't want to do". She suddenly looked very sad.

He remembered what he had said to her. "I don't hate you Arya".

She smiled but she still looked sad. "Can I stay here tonight?"

He nodded and lifted the furs for her to get into bed. He snuggled into her as she put her arms around him.

"Promise me you'll come back".

Her lips brushed his forehead but her voice sounded strained when she answered. "I promise as long as you promise to be good while I'm gone".

Rickon kept his promise as Arya rode out with the lords bannermen and their hosts. Brienne was at his side looking sad. She told him all the banners but he didn't really listen. He just watched closely for the grey and white Stark banner. It flew proudly with his sister but it also flew in other places too, at the head of the column and at the rear.

When Arya left his sight he slipped into Shaggy instead. The direwolf was able to lope alongside the riders and their horses easily. He saw Nymeria close by Arya and that made him glad. Arya smiled and called down to Shaggy and he realised she knew it was him. He followed until he couldn't any more. She was going to the Dreadfort. Even the name was scary.

When he came back to himself he saw he had frightened Brienne. He couldn't feel bad. He was still too angry at being left behind but when she asked him to come to the great hall, he did as she asked. He kept his promise to Arya. He climbed up into the seat Arya usually took and when Brienne and the She-Bear prompted him he said the words she usually spoke but not without trying to say no first.

He saw them looking at him with pity. He heard them whispering. He tried to remember what Arya had said. I can do this. It was hard but if Arya could do it he was going to do it. He was going to try to be the Stark in Winterfell but only until Arya came back.

She has to come back.