Chapter 35

This is a dream.

Ash looked around slowly, at an overly blue sky and fields of grass that were so green it hurt her eyes. There was no clouds, but there was wind that created waves in the knee deep greens, rolling back and forth. She could smell rain. And smoke. And wild, liquid fire. Sundance.

She turned, eyes widening when they fell upon the massive shape of her child hood friend. Sundance was just landing, limbs stretched out with claws curled almost elegantly. Her wings beat silently, but Ash could still feel the resulting winds pulling at her hair. Ash held her breath, taking in every inch of the dragon.

Every plate of rose red armor was in place. All of her insides were covered, safe. Her colossal wings stayed raised above them, feathers splayed to cast jagged shadows across Ash's face. Her optics were lit, a brilliant, lovely red. Whole. Sundance was whole.

It's just a dream. Ash's thoughts repeated, echoing through her mind. She hated the voice for it, for reminding her. She's in pieces. Big Bird said she'd never be the same again. She doesn't remember you, she doesn't know you.

"Yes you do," Ash whispered out loud, "you know me, don't you, Sunny?...Sundance?"

Sundance said nothing. She didn't even seem to be looking at her-rather through her. Her lip plates curled up slightly in a grimace before falling back into a frown. Her optics went soft, shining with sadness instead of strength. She folded her wings and started forward.

Ash hesitated, realizing for the first time that Sundance rolled her shoulders like a lioness when she walked. A predator, but still undeniably female with all the grace packed into every motion. It was a weird observation, and completely out of place. Maybe it was because it was the first time Ash had been around her for so long without actually feeling or seeing her move.

She snapped out of her thoughts, moving back a step when Sundance kept walking towards her. Her steps were wide and quick. Ash was about to open her mouth and shout at her to back off when Sundance simply walked through her, as if she wasn't even there. Ash's body just broke into curling wisps around Sundance's red chest, reforming when Sundance had walked past.

Ash blinked owlishly for a moment, "What the hell?"

"Ash."

Her heart clenched at the voice, one she hadn't heard in days. She forgot everything and turned, seeing Sundance stop in the grass, long neck arched and head pointed down to stare at a quietly sobbing little girl.

"Go away, Sundance!" The little girl cried halfheartedly, "I don't want you here!"

Ash's eyes flew to the girl, locking on her. She was thin and tiny, bent over in pain and tears. She had tiny hands clenched in her short blonde hair, and her back was to Ash and Sundance. She was shaking and dirty, and as they stood there watching her, a little growl alerted them that she was hungry, too.

That's...impossible...it's...it's me. Ash tore her eyes away from the child back to Sundance, at the 'brand-new' shine of her armor, without so much as a scuff. They way how her armor almost seemed too big for her. It hit her then. This was a memory. This was her and Sundance, after the dragon had been moved into her third frame. Right after Ash's parents had split apart, crushing her world. When she had ran away for the first time in her life.

"You don't mean that, Ash," Sundance said softly, "please come back."

"No!" Little Ash shouted, "I'm not going back! They don't want me anymore, and I don't want them!"

Ash watched as Sundance moved closer to her younger self, who kept going, "They don't love me, Sunny! They don't love each other, and they don't care about me! I just want to be alone! I'm never going back, I don't care what you say!"

"Even if I beg?" Sundance continued, "even if I take you to meet Derek, so you can learn how to dance and get married?"

"Go away! Nobody loves me anymore, nobody cares!"

Sundance seemed to hesitate before lowering her head and pressing her nose into the child's back. Ash's eyes widened, frozen in place. She could hardly believe what she was seeing-she had completely forgotten about this, about the words Sundance had spoken, was about to say here in her dream.

"I do."

And Ash's mini-me swung around and slapped her arms over Sundance's face, hugging as much as she could of the dragon as she started bawling, pressing her face into the dragon's nose. She started screaming, "What did I do, Sundance! I want both of them, not just my mommy! I want us all to be happy again! Why can't we be happy? Why can't they just love me, Sundance? Why!"

"They love you so much already, Ash," Sundance started quietly, "they always will. Just because you don't see him anymore doesn't mean that your dad stopped loving or wanting you. I know Rex, and there's no one he loves more than you."

"But you love me too, and you didn't leave..." The girl froze before pulling back and staring at her with wide, teary pale eyes, "You won't leave me either, right? Promise me you won't leave me! Promise me you won't give up!"

Sundance smiled, a small, soft smile that hardly showed any tooth, "I will never give up on you, Ash. I promise."

Ash bit her lip. The little girl smiled, "You're my best friend, Sunny. I won't give up on you, either."

Sundance chuckled, "Promise?"

"Promise!"

And the scene faded, both, dragon and child shattering like glass and fading from view. Ash turned away, left to walk the green fields alone. She sank down in the field, pushing her hands through her hair. Tears started flowing, remembering that the dragon she had just seen was nothing like the one resting on a berth across from her's in real life. She had been whole, strong, beautiful.

"God, Sunny...why does all the bad shit happen to us?" Ash whispered, wrapping her arms around her middle, "I can't...I can't do this without you..."

Something warm pressed against her back gently, right between her shoulders. Ash smiled shakily, "It's okay, Sunny." She swallowed and tilted her head to look behind her. Nothing was there, but the smell of smoke and fire still lingered in the air. She finished, "I'm...okay. You will be, too."

She tensed when something crashed. The earth shook and the sky split open. Alloys ground against each other in earsplitting shrieks. She slapped her hands over her ears and screwed her eyes shut. Something rushed past her, something she could see or sense in this place.

Ash gasped when gravity came rushing back to her and she found herself on her back, staring up at the metal ceiling of the med bay. She pushed herself up when her but went cold, eyes widening when she saw the empty berth beside her, the deep claw marks across it and the life-support cables scattered across the floor, carelessly tossed aside. Panic tore through her, almost freezing her in place. "What the hell!"

She lifted her head in time to see Ratchet slam into an upward position, optics still dim from his recharge. She shouted, "Where's Sundance!"

His optics widened.

I'm back with an explanation for my absence...I have become really sick lately, to the point of where I'm becoming a regular at Urgent Care and in the ER...I actually have to go back tomorrow for a procedure, so you probably won't hear from me then.

On to the chapter!

Another dream/waking for Ash. It's super corny and not very well thought out but I just opened it again today and spared enough energy to do basic corrections...in other words, what you see is what you get.

I was thinking when I wrote this that Sundance was probably the only stable thing in Ash's life when she was a child. Her parents split when she was little, so I figure that Sundance probably took it upon herself to take care of her while she could, until Ash moved off with her mother. Hence her being the one to find her when Ash ran away.

I'm very sorry if all of this is confusing...if you have any questions I will answer them.

Also, the part where Sundance mentions 'dancing' and 'Derek', if you haven't read the Reflections chapter "From The Fire", then you probably don't know that when she was young, Ash was obsessed with dancing, and Dancing with the Stars. Derek is one of the dancers on there. (Just sayin', because I know there's a lot of people out there who don't watch it)

Anyway, sounds like trouble!

Much love to you, sorry for talking your ears off and giving you a mediocre update.

Sundance and her family, friends, and the story all belongs to me. Transformers does not.