Chapter 36 – Hurt
RPOV
"You sick son-of-a-bitch!" He yelled, and before I knew it, he had lunged at Damien. His clothes were shredded on the grass as he leaped forward in his wolf form. Damien crouched and barred his teeth in front of me as I stood back.
"Jake, stop!" I cried. Damien was trying to restrain Jake as he fought against him but failed. I didn't know what to do, I couldn't just watch while Jacob let his jealousy get the best of him. Jake had Damien pinned to the ground, his teeth at Damien's neck. "Jake!" I yelled again, he looked up and Damien took advantage of the distraction to flip Jacob over so that Damien was limiting him once again.
"Jacob, calm down!" Damien shouted huskily. I thought it was over then but before I knew it Jake pushed Damien off him and against the hard tree trunk of the large Oak that stood on his front lawn. I watched helplessly as they fought each other, Jacob wanted nothing more than to rip Damien to shreds whereas Damien was trying to confine Jake as well as protect himself.
For a moment, I blanked out and thought about that dream I'd once had, the one with the tanned man, I couldn't quite remember it though, I stood there in a daze, hoping that someone would come along and try to stop the fight, I knew that if it got too far, Damien's life could actually be in danger and I wouldn't have that on my conscious.
I made a split second decision without thinking and ran to them, trying to pry there arms apart, Jacob wouldn't budge though. I could feel the tears streaming down my face but I ignored, trying to make myself see clearly. I shoved against Jacob's torso while Damien tried to get in front of me to protect me.
"Ness, don't." Damien shouted and shoved against me, trying to push me out of the fight, "You're going to get hurt." That was it! I shoved my way in between them, forcing Jake to make room. He was still clawing at Damien though and I tried my best to dodge his attacks.
"Jacob, look at me, stop!" I yelled. He didn't even acknowledge my presence and kept trying to get past me. "Jacob!" I screamed. He made one final attack, one that I didn't see coming, one that struck my arm instead of Damien. Everyone froze at that moment.
I could feel the warm blood dripping down my arm and I cradled it against my chest, trying to make it stop and knowing that everyone was now focussed on me. The cut was burning but I ignored it, I looked into Jacobs eyes and saw the anger that he felt. It was like my mind hadn't clicked yet, I knew that my arm was hurt but I refused to think that Jacob had anything to do with it.
"Ness, we need to get that bandaged." Damien's voice was a faint whisper in the background, I looked at Jake, reaching out to him with my eyes, and instead, he looked from Damien to me and bowed his head before running head on into the forest. "Ness?" Damien said again and put his arms on my shoulder before pushing me gently to the car and helping me get in.
I was stuck in a daze, I couldn't fathom what had just happened, it all happened so quickly that I had no time to breathe, no time to think. I could see the tree's passing by in a blur while Damien sped down the highway, not worrying about speeding signs or police, just focussed on getting me to the main house.
"Ness? Are you okay?" He asked when he realised I was completely silent and my sobs had become deep breaths.
"No, not really." I said simply and turned my head to look out the window, I was getting married in two weeks. I was getting married to Jacob in two weeks. How could this have happened?
"It's gonna be okay." He said and rubbed my shoulder with one hand while the other stayed on the steering wheel.
"Are you okay?" I asked, concerned over the fact that Jacob could've hurt him, his clothes were almost in shreds and his hair was in a mess atop his head. I felt so guilty about the whole thing. It was my fault. Why couldn't they just get along?
"I'll survive." He smiled, trying to reassure me. I looked down and tried to concentrate on keeping it together for just a little while longer. Just until I got to the main house, I could go into my room and I could cry my eyes out.
When we got to the main house he rushed to my side as if at any moment I would collapse, he made me sit at the desk in my bedroom and I waited while he got the first aid kit from the kitchen. Ever since I was born we'd always keep first aid kits around. In a few seconds he was back in the room, and had my arm in his hands.
"The cut doesn't look too deep." He smiled and took out a few swabs, dipping them in disinfectant before gently wiping the blood off my arm.
"How do you know how to do this?" I asked curiously, he seemed to have a knack for first aid.
"Both my parents were doctors, so I was forced to get first aid training. They always wanted me to go into medicine… I never quite liked it though, well not as much as journalism." He smiled again, I remember him telling me that his parents never liked his career choice and I guess it made sense now. They'd wanted him to follow their footsteps. I just nodded and winced when the swab came into contact with my cut. "Crap, sorry!" He said hastily.
"It's okay, I'm kinda numb." I said and tried not to flinch when he did it again. I understood that he needed to clean the wound so that it didn't get infected and this was the way to do it.
"You guys are gonna be fine, you know that, right?" He said and looked down at the wound. I looked away from him and tried my best to keep it together. "He loves you." He said finally and I couldn't help but let my tears go.
"Nothing like this has ever happened before." I whispered helplessly. Jacob had never hurt me before or lost control the way he had tonight.
"Shh. Don't cry. You just have to talk to him about it." He said and started stitching my wound up. I could see the clean claw mark, dark and bruised; I didn't know how to even begin to deal with it.
"That's why I went there today! I went to talk to him and he got angry, at me, at you, at everyone and just lost control. I've never been so scared of him in my life." I whispered and sobbed. Damien was ridiculously fast at stitching; before I knew it he was tying the knot and getting out the bandage.
"It was probably just the stress getting to him, he never meant to hurt you, I know that much." Why was Damien defending Jacob? I would've thought that he'd be agreeing with me, instead he's trying to make me see Jacob's side.
"I just don't know if I can handle it happening again. Y'know, what if he just snaps at me one day? What do I do then?" I asked the rhetorical question.
"You work through it, together." He said confidently and smiled at me. He tied the bandage tight around my arm and clipped it together in place. "But I think what you need to do now is make sure that you're making the right decision for you, don't let anybody else's opinions influence your choice. After all, it is your life." He said quietly and looked at me with his wise eyes.
I stood up to go to the bed and laid down, tired from the day, and emotionally unstable at the present moment. I curled up into a ball while Damien covered me with my blanket and tucked me in. I felt like a child, having to be taken care off, crying. I didn't know what was happening. He pushed the hair from my face gently, smiling, before turning around to walk away.
"No," I latched onto his arm, "Stay with me, please." I couldn't bear the feeling of being alone with my thoughts tonight. He just nodded, uncertain, but laid down beside me and hugged me close to his chest, I felt safe and warm lying here but the tears still came and my only thought was, will I be happy.
JPOV
I couldn't believe I snapped like that, not just at Damien but at Ness, my sweet Ness. I don't know what came over me. This bitter rage ran through my veins like water, taking over my mind. It wasn't me. Those last moments replayed in my mind, the way her face looked when I accidently pierced her skin, the way the blood dripped down her arm… Most of all, the way he took care of her, not me.
I ran head on into the forest, not caring where I was going, I just knew that I needed to calm down, to get away from him, to reassure myself that Ness would never betray me like that. I've never gotten so angry at her in my life, and I didn't mean to.
By the time the sun rose, I was accompanied by Demi and Harley who'd signed on for their shift together. Everyone knew they came as a duo. There was no splitting them up.
Jake, dude! What the hell? Why would you do something like that? Demi's voice was in my head, her thoughts clearly portraying what a dick-move I'd made.
You wanna win over the girl, that's not the way to do it, tough guy. Harley's voice preached. I really was in no mood to deal with those two today.
I don't want to talk about it. I tried to make my voice sound Alpha-like but failed. I was never one to enforce my role as Alpha. I didn't really like telling people what to do and when to do it.
You need to go talk to her. Demi's voice was serious, almost like she knew what I was dealing with, before you give her enough time to make the wrong decision.
What wrong decision? I asked curiously, both Demi and Harley seemed to be in agreement.
Jacob, don't you see what you're doing? You're driving her straight into the arms of that-uh, what's his name- uh, Derrick, Dean… Harley listed while she tried to remember.
Damien. I interjected, saying the name made me choke a little, knowing that he was with her right now and I was here, being a wolf, talking to the two most annoying wolves I've ever met, but knowing they were right.
Right, yeah. Damien. Dude, you're totally giving him the upper hand here! She whined as if this was some kind of day-time soap opera.
Agreed! Stop being so freakin' clingy all the time. Chicks don't like clingy. Demi continued. It was like I was being lectured by two professionals.
What do you propose I do then? I said sarcastically.
Play the good guy. Not the psycho freak that attacks the person he's jealous of. Demi and Harley both laughed.
I'm NOT jealous! I yelled in my head, what was with girls and thinking I was jealous. I was not jealous!
You were jealous. They both said in unison. I sighed, knowing I would never win an argument with these two against me. It was like GI Joe split up into two people and was reincarnated through Demi and Harley.
That guy just pisses me off. I said simply.
Why? Harley asked.
Because he's trying to steal your girl? Demi followed.
YES! I said irritated.
Yeah, that's called jealousy. Harley said sarcastically, moron.
Harley, are all men this deluded? Demi asked, peeved. Maybe they were right, maybe I was jealous. Great, so now I'm a jealous psychopathic wolf whose girlfriend is probably terrified of and lying in the arms of another man. Things were just swell.
Okay, so maybe I'm jealous. What am I supposed to do? I asked, what could I do? I'd just hurt my imprint. There must be a wolf law against that or something. That's when it occurred to me, I wasn't the only wolf who'd ever hurt his imprint. I've had to live with Sam's thoughts for years now, and not a single day goes by where he doesn't feel guilty for hurting Emily.
Be the guy she fell in love with, not this weirdo. Demi said. I'm still the guy she fell in love with, it's just that one moment where I lost all control. I wasn't myself for one moment.
You know what they say, keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer. Harley said and laughed devilishly. Demi agreed with her.
You're a genius, Harley, Demi chuckled and continued. If you think he's so suspicious, be friends with him, do guy things…Y'know, bond. That way, you can keep an eye on him and seem like the nice guy, and it'll get you some brownie points with Renesmee. Demi thought wisely.
She was right, I hated to admit that but it made sense, of course, it's like Bella and Edward all over again, except he's the Jacob and I'm the Edward. I have the upper hand here and I'm totally screwing it up. I doubt she'll even talk to me after what I did. I thought, it was true, why would she even come near me?
You'll never know if you don't try. Demi said, hopeful. She was always the more optimistic one as opposed to Harley who was more of a realist.
The worst she can do is dump you. Harley said, being the pessimist she was.
Thanks, I said irritated. That hadn't even occurred to me. What if Ness did leave me? What if she was so mortified that she wouldn't be with me anymore?
Harley, you're such a douche. Demi thought, annoyed at Harley's worst case scenario. She's not going to leave you. Just look at Sam and Em, no matter what happened, they stayed together. Everyone knows an imprint can't resist the imprinter. She chuckled and Harley joined along.
Oh shut up, you two. I said, bothered by their teasing.
Demi's just jealous because she's not getting any. Harley made a stab toward Demi's ego. That was for calling me a douche. She smiled in her thoughts and Demi glared.
Okay, exiting this conversation right… now. I said and phased back, I didn't want to get in the middle of that little squabble. It was the worst place to be. I tugged on the drawstring keeping my shorts tied to my leg and put them on. I didn't want to have some adventurer pass by and see a naked, brown guy.
I knew what I had to do, I had to apologise and hope that she wasn't so horrified with my behaviour to not accept it. I would do anything at this point to win her back. I phased not too far from the main house so I decided to walk, everyone would be awake by now.
When I walked inside, it was empty, the TV was off for once, there was no one playing piano, it was so quiet, almost surreal. I walked upstairs, following her scent which led me to the room she was obviously staying in. It was empty.
"She took off early this morning. Wouldn't tell me where." I heard Damien say. I turned around to find him leaning against his doorframe.
I felt the need to apologise, "Dude, look, I'm sorry man, I dunno what happe—" He cut me off before I could say anything more.
"Don't worry about it, it's in the past." He smiled, "We can talk about this later anyway. Right now, go find your girl. I know she needs you." He said and I nodded. I was thankful that he let me leave, everyone knew I hated apologising, especially to people I didn't like.
I ran off, thinking about places she might be, I decided to check the cottage, maybe she'd gone there for some peace and quiet. When I got there I heard the piano, Bella was laughing and Edward was talking while he played, I didn't hear anything else.
The door was open as always and I waltzed in, trying to locate someone. "Hey Jacob." Bella called from the living room, "We're in here." She said as if I hadn't already figured that out.
"Hey, is Ness here?" I asked. They both gave each other a sceptical look before looking at me.
"No, she came by this morning though. She said something about the beach and being alone." Bella sounded like a typical mother, I guess in a way she was, minus the vampire part.
"Thanks." I said and ran out the door. I knew exactly where she was. She was at the cove, our cove.
I didn't know what I was going to say to her when I saw her. I didn't know what I was going to do. The sheer thought of approaching her scared me half to death but I kept running because I knew that no matter what she said or what she did, I would never stop loving her, I would never stop caring. Somewhere deep inside of me, I knew that she felt the same.
Just before I got to the cove, I stopped, trying to catch my breath. I walked a few steps before she came into view. She was sitting on an old towel, her arms wrapped around her legs. She stared off into the ocean as if seeking the answers to life.
I ran up to her, noticing the puffiness of her eyes and her tear stained cheeks. If there was a moment in life where you felt like shooting yourself, this was it. She looked up at me, standing up quickly and wiping her face. "Ness, I'm so sorry." I whispered. She stood there, still and silent while she evaluated me.
I watched the way her fingers twitched and how her body would move slightly but resort back to its previous position. Almost like she was fighting the urge to move. "I would never hurt you intentionally…" I whispered again. I hated seeing her like this and not knowing whether to approach her or to just stay where I was.
She blinked back the tears before a weak smile spread across her beautiful face. In an instant she ran into my arms and hugged me. "I love you, no matter what." She breathed. That was the moment I knew that we would get through anything.