Chapter Thirty-fourWhen Cuddy woke up she was very confused. She blinked several times and took in her surroundings. She realized that she was propped up on a few pillows in a hospital bed in an empty room private room. She thought for a moment and tried to remember what had happened.
Then her lip began to tremble and tears started falling from her eyes as she remembered. She remembered going to House's office. She remembered feeling something running down her legs, and the last thing she remembered was hearing Cameron scream her name. She couldn't believe she had lost her baby. One hand moved and hovered over her stomach and then she started to sob. Her breath caught in her throat as she continued to sob. Her heartbreaking for the child she had lost.
She was crying so much that she didn't hear the toilet in the adjoining bathroom flush, nor did she notice the bathroom door open.
House walked out of the bathroom, his cane hooked over one arm as he shook water from his hands. When he saw Cuddy crying he suddenly stopped. Images of her crying on the floor after her mother's confession about their first baby popped into his head. And just like that day, seeing her like that broke his heart.
House suddenly snapped back to the now as he realised why Cuddy was crying. As quickly as he could, he limped over to her. Putting an extra strain on his leg as he did so.
"Cuddy, hey, hey." He whispered, trying to be reassuring. "It's ok. I'm….here…"
He stood beside her and placed one hand on her shoulder. She had been asleep for over an hour, and House had stayed by her side the entire time. That was until the need to pee became too much and he had to duck into the bathroom. It figures she would wake up when he wasn't there. She probably thought he didn't care.
"I-I'm so s-sorry, House." Cuddy sobbed.
"Cuddy-" House began
"-I lost our baby." Cuddy continued, unable to look House in the eyes. "I'm so sorry"
House shook his head slightly as he placed a hand under her chin and tilted her face up to look at him.
"Cuddy," He whispered softly, looking directly into her eyes. "You didn't lose her. She's fine."
Cuddy's eyes grew wide and her mouth hung open in an 'O' shape. House couldn't help but smile slightly and he moved his hand from her chin and used it to push her hair behind her ear.
"Wh-what?" he heard her ask in a timid voice.
He nodded, "The baby – our baby, is fine." He told her in a soft yet firm tone. Then his hand dropped from her face and he raised his cane and tilted the top of it towards her with a frown on his face. "You, on the other hand, are way too stressed."
Cuddy took in a shaky breath. "I know." She agreed. Guilt ever present in her tone. "I can't help it sometimes…"
House sighed and nodded, "I know."
He lowered his cane and sat down on the edge of the bed facing her. He tapped her legs slightly letting her know to move over to give him more room. Despite her state of shock and highly emotional state, Cuddy still managed to shift over to give him more space on her bed.
"But…but the baby's fine?" Cuddy asked, needing House to say it once again.
House's lips curled up ever so slightly. "She's completely fine. Healthy strong heartbeat. Good measurements for a fifteen-week old fetus." As he talked he couldn't help the note of pride that came into his voice. "She's strong. Just like her mother."
He looked at Cuddy who was grinning at him. Tears in her eyes but this time they were happy tears.
House frowned, realising that he may have just opened himself up emotionally and tried to go back to his self-centered, annoying self. "What?" He asked.
"You said 'she'."
"Well, be weird if I called a girl 'he'." House retorted rolling his eyes slightly, trying to act like he was annoyed. "Could call it a parasite if you want."
Cuddy swatted his shoulder but she was still smiling. She knew he was just acting and that he was really as happy as she was. And she was so happy that she didn't care if he wanted to pretend that he wasn't.
"We're having a girl," Cuddy said fondly as she placed one hand lovingly on her stomach.
"Oops." House sighed, covering his mouth dramatically before saying "Did you want to wait till you popped the kid out to find out? My bad."
"I don't care." Cuddy murmured still smiling. "I'm just glad she's ok."
House nodded.
"I can't believe we're having another girl." Cuddy's face suddenly fell as the thought of their other daughter entered her mind. The one they still hadn't found. "House,"
House shook his head and looked down briefly before looking into her eyes.
"Cuddy, you are too stressed and it needs to stop, or you will end up having a miscarriage." He voice was gentle yet also stern at the same time. He wanted to make sure that she understood how serious this was. He didn't want to go through what he did that afternoon again.
"I'll try not to work so hard." Cuddy agreed.
"That's not the problem and you know it," House told her. He sighed deeply. He didn't want to say what he was about to but he knew that for the health of Cuddy and their unborn baby, he had too. "It's the searching for our other daughter. It's stressing you out."
"I know," She said before taking a shaking breath. She bit her bottom lip and tilted her head to one side slightly. "And I'm trying not to let it get to me. But I can't. It's such an emotional rollercoaster every time we get a lead and then…"
"Which is why…" House began. "I'm not going to look for her anymore. And neither are you."
"House!" Cuddy shouted, her eyes going wide in shock. She started to shake her head vigorously. "You can't just give up. Please!" She pleaded.
The desperation in her voice almost made him change his mind. Almost. But he knew that he had to do this. For her. For them, Cuddy and the baby.
"Cuddy-"
"She's our daughter. We need to find her. She matters."
"No!" House shouted, causing Cuddy to jump slightly. "No," He repeated more gently. "Right now, this baby matter's more." He tilted his head towards her stomach slightly. "You can't put her life at risk for someone who we may never find."
Cuddy squeezed her eyes closed tightly and moved one hand over her stomach protectively.
"We don't even know if she even knows that she's adopted." House continued. "And even if she did, we don't know that she'd want to know us at all."
Cuddy opened her eyes slowly and looked down at her stomach. She knew that House was right. He was normally right. Didn't mean that the decision didn't hurt.
"Ok," She whispered. She turned to look at House and saw the concern in his eyes. She knew he wasn't just saying these things to hurt her, or because he really wanted to stop searching for their daughter. She knew he was doing this because he wanted to protect her and the baby growing inside her. "We'll stop looking."
House nodded. "It's not forever, Cuddy. Just until this baby is born. Then we'll start again. I promise."
**House MD**
Max had walked out of the elevator's and into the clinic when she noticed that everyone seemed to be in a buzz about something. When she pulled someone aside and asked what was going on they told her that Dr Cuddy had collapsed and that there were now rumours going around that she was pregnant, and that due to Dr House's state of panic it was him who was the father.
Max heard someone say the word 'miscarry' and then she took off. She managed to find out what room Cuddy was in and then headed straight there.
Despite everything that was going on in her own head in regards to her parent's and this new baby, Max did not want anything to happen to Cuddy or the baby.
When she reached Cuddy's room, she saw her talking to House. He was beside her and they looked engrossed in each other and their conversation. Max felt weird about interrupting them, but she couldn't bring herself to move away from the door.
She stood, just behind the door so that she could still make out most of their conversation but couldn't be seen by them.
She heard House say the baby was fine but that Cuddy was too stressed and her stress would end up causing her to have a miscarriage. Then Max heard something that broke her heart. Silent tears started to flow from her cheeks as she heard House say that he was going to stop looking for their daughter. Stop looking for her.
When she heard Cuddy say "ok", she couldn't take it anymore.
Max turned and quickly wiped her eyes before quickly making her way down the corridor.
She couldn't do this anymore. She couldn't risk the chance that her being here could cause Cuddy to lose her baby. She wouldn't be able to live with the guilt if something happened to that baby and it was her fault.
As she entered the elevator and started to head down towards her office she had one thought in her mind.
She needed to leave the hospital, and she needed to leave House and Cuddy behind.
To Be Continued…