Rating: M
Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds.
Author's Note: Please note the increased rating for this chapter. Ellenore and another anonymous reviewer wanted to see Emily do some romancing. As usual, special thanks to Kat-D11 for her idea help on this chapter. Let me know what you think! I love to hear from my reviewers.
"This bar is dying down a bit. What do you say to a night out on the town?" Emily asked, twirling JJ gracefully.
"We need to talk, Em," JJ reemphasized.
"We will," she promised, opting for avoiding her own issues. "But I love dancing with you. There is a bar Morgan and I go to that always has a pretty fun band playing right about now." JJ smiled and nodded, enjoying spending time with her wife. "Perfect." She pecked JJ fully on the lips, but skipped off to the bar before the blonde could return the kiss. Passing her card to Jack, she bobbed her head when he politely asked if everything was okay. He raised his eyes questioningly, but she chose to ignore his inquisitive look, pretending she didn't see it by reaching for a pen further down the bar.
Hand in hand, the two walked a few blocks over to the Martian Mango. Emily winked at the bouncer and easily passed through the roped-off entrance. JJ trailed behind her, a little unsure, as the crowd was much younger. A steady beat thumped through the speakers as the traffic came to stop in the busy hallway. Emily pulled JJ close and spoke into her ear, hoping the noise wouldn't distort her voice. JJ seemed to understand as she started weaving her way towards the bar. Outside of the hallway, the crowd thinned and dispersed among the numerous bar counters, pool tables, and booths. The band milled around a blue-lit stage, obviously waiting for something. The hardwood floor beneath the platform area glistened with the tinged color. As the music hadn't started, only a few couples lingered on the floor. JJ leaned against the bar, waiting for an available bartender. Flagging one down, she ordered two drinks and two shots before turning around to assess the club and locate Emily. The bartender returned with her ordered beverages and watched her eyes glaze over Emily's figure. He coughed slightly. "I don't mean to be rude," he started. "But you don't have a chance with her." JJ was stunned. She turned to look back at him with wide eyes.
"Why not?"
"She's head over heels in love with her wife. She comes in here a lot with a friend of hers, and everyone gives her those eye-fuck looks you were just giving her. Every time she turns them down. Like I said, you don't have a chance. Should I open a tab?" JJ nodded, too flabbergasted by his comment to speak. It was one thing to think Emily would never cheat on her, but to hear it from a stranger just emphasized Emily's loyal, loving character. Still reeling from the conversation, she didn't notice the brunette slide up behind her. Emily gripped JJ's hips, her fingers sliding under the blonde's belt loops, and kissed her passionately. JJ's heart flipped as her lungs fought to breath. Emily smirked against JJ's parted, panting lips before addressing the bartender.
"I see you've met my wife, Andy. Thank you." She said with a smirk and a tip of her head as she grabbed the drinks. "The band is about to start, Jen. Let's go grab some seats." JJ nodded dumbly, her mind blurring with passion and love. When she finally caught up with Emily, sitting in the booth next to her, she searched for the brunette's eyes. "Hmm," Emily hummed questioningly.
"I love you." Emily smiled, happy to hear the true sincerity ringing behind JJ's words. "So we talk now?"
"Nah," Emily denied. "Now, we listen to the fun band, drink, and dance. Then, I'm going to prove just how perfect you are."
"And how, pray tell, are you going to do that?" The banter was relaxed and common. It made both women feel like their relationship was mending.
"I've got a few ideas."
"Like what?" JJ continued to push, eager to unveil Emily's plans.
"Well, you may be a little overdressed," she insinuated with a seductively telling wink. JJ groaned and leaned further into her wife.
"We need to talk." She tried again.
"We will, but not now."
"And not later," JJ continued.
"Not in the near future, but we will." Emily amended easily. She was adept at avoiding topics that provided her emotional discomfort. Having devoting herself to the task of making JJ feel good enough, Emily could avoid any insecurity she felt relating to her recovery and her accident in general. She recognized the complete irony in throwing herself so fully into spending time with her family and proving JJ's self-worth. After all, JJ had just informed her that was how she coped with Sarah's death- by not dealing with it and throwing herself entirely into different things. Emily brushed the thought away; simply choosing to believe that focusing on JJ would help heal their relationship. Physical recovery, she thought, would come in time; she would continue working out, pushing herself to achieve that next obstacle. Mental recovery- well, Emily Prentiss was good at burying her emotions until they exploded out of her compartments like an erupting volcano. She was good at keeping people out. As sad as it made her, she had to keep JJ outside of her walls until she could rebuild her heart. It was no longer a question of a future with JJ as she couldn't imagine her life any other way. They loved each other, and when it came down to it, that was their foundation, a solid building block. The only question left to answer was how long it would take until she was ready to dive head first into the relationship again. She wondered how long until she would feel comfortable being completely open with JJ; she wondered how long until she could mend her heart. Lost in thought, she barely registered the pulsating stereo switch off in the background as the live band started its set.
JJ snuggled into Emily's middle, content to listen to the eclectic sound of the house band. She felt Emily's shoulders tensed and watched Emily's brow crease pensively. She could physically feel the distance between them. Though it was a different distance from the previous rift caused directly by her accusation, this barrier proved to be sounder, and JJ realized she was standing metaphorically face-to-face with the fortified, four-meter walls that surrounded Emily's heart. She swallowed deeply; she really was back at square one. Her explanation seemed to have pulled her out of the hole. Now at least she wasn't backtracking. She could move forward from square one. After all, she had been outside of the walls before. She had fought her way through them at the beginning of their relationship. Now, she had to figure out how to get through her wife's walls and fix Emily's shattered heart before Emily's compartments violently upturned in the form of a mental breakdown. Both women contemplated Emily's emotional state, though one was intent on avoiding it like the Black Plague and the other was determined to heal it.
Snapping out of her train of thought, Emily felt the livening beat pulse through her. It's best not to sit in one place. If I stay busy, I won't have time to think. If I stay focused on everyone else, I will be too busy to focus on me. Quickly, she pulled JJ out of the booth and moved them onto the dance floor.
JJ recognized the avoidance tactic, but chose to plan her moves carefully. It was an emotional chess match in more ways than one. JJ never enjoyed chess. The game was too quiet, too still, but she understood that in order to help Emily heal, she needed to beat Emily's perfectly planned mental defense. She needed a checkmate. I have to pick my moments. She wants to dance. She wants to forget. That's fine for now, JJ conceded mentally. So the two danced through the full first set, stopping every now and then to watch the largely growing crowd.
As the band called for a break to refuel, JJ could tell Emily was getting tired. Emily refused to give into her increasing exhaustion. They were having fun, and she didn't want to be the one to end the night. JJ read Emily's unwillingness easily and nodded towards the door. Emily agreed thankfully. "That was fun," she said as they reached the corner.
"I think my body is still vibrating from the volume of the stereo," JJ joked.
"Oh, it's not done vibrating just yet," Emily teased mercilessly.
"Fucking hell, Em." Emily smirked at the shaky groan that escaped JJ's lips. "That was so lame," she laughed.
"Lame, probably. Did it work though?" She asked seductively.
"Of course," JJ confirmed. "I'm just wishing we were closer to home, so we could hurry up and get there."
"Don't you always tell our kids that patience is a virtue," Emily gibed as they turned the final corner onto their street.
"Possibly, but they're supposed to do as I say, not as I do. I don't care how hypocritical that sounds at the moment. Tomorrow I will retract that statement. I can't help it; my brain doesn't function when you tease me and then make me wait," JJ defended, pouting in addition.
"Well, we are almost there, so you won't have to wait much longer," Emily whispered into JJ's ears, quickly nipping the lobe, before walking a bit faster to the house. "Maybe," she joked as she turned to laugh at JJ over her shoulder.
"You're evil," JJ whined as she willed Emily to find the front door key faster. She rushed past her as the door was open and was pleasantly surprised to find the downstairs dark. "They're asleep," she whispered back to Emily before making her way upstairs. Emily followed her step for step. As their bedroom door closed, Emily grabbed JJ forcefully, pressing her firmly against the closed door. Slipping her jean-clad thigh between JJ's splayed legs, Emily rocked into her wife at a steady tempo. Their lips met in a forceful collision of passion and desire as Emily expertly released the buttons down JJ's top. JJ moaned into Emily's mouth, knowing her lover would swallow her cries of pleasure. With the shirt pushed out of the way, Emily massaged JJ's lace covered breasts. JJ's hips bucked into Emily's flexed thigh as the brunette tweaked her nipples. JJ's hands slipped into Emily's back pockets, trying to find more friction. Flicking the front closure of JJ's bra, Emily set to work pleasing her wife's waiting breasts. JJ arched off the door, her head softly knocking against the wooden surface, as Emily's tongue grazed her nipple playfully. "God, Em. More please," she begged uselessly.
"No," Emily countered, kissing a trail down the blonde's jaw. Finding one of JJ's sweet spots, Emily nibbled her wife's neck, smirking into the flushed flesh as she felt JJ's knees go weak. As her mouth continued its explorations, Emily's fingers worked the button and zipper of the jeans clinging tightly to JJ's slim figure.
Feeling her knees give out slightly as her body reacted to the relentless teasing, JJ moaned, biting her lip to keep from sounding too loudly. "Bed," she motioned. She didn't want Emily to have to hold up her entire weight. Emily complied somewhat unwillingly as she started walking them back slowly, pushing JJ's jeans off her hips as she went. Pausing slightly for JJ to kick her feet free, Emily played with the tops of the blonde's damp cotton panties. Dipping her exploring fingers under the fabric, she grinned widely against JJ's skin as she heard the blonde's breath hitch. "Please."
"Patience." Emily bluntly replied before resuming her path of kisses to JJ's collarbone.
"You're killing me," JJ whimpered as Emily's fingers slipped teasingly through her folds.
"No, none of that. I wouldn't kill the woman who is perfect for me," Emily responded sincerely before kissing JJ's lips and pulling JJ's panties down her legs.
"Em," she moaned at the sentiment as she followed Emily's lead and lay down on the large bed.
"Perfect for me." She repeated emphasizing every word with a gentle kiss as her hands spread JJ's thighs further apart. Her fingers skated over the blonde's slick clit before thrusting deeply into JJ's core.
"Fuck." The curse was a ragged breath as her hips moved with a rhythm of their own against Emily, who continued to send her closer and closer to her impending orgasm. The coil tightly wound in her stomach as she begged again. "Please, Em. Please." Emily could feel her wife's walls starting to clench around her fingers, so she pulled out almost completely. "Damnit, Emily."
"Tell me you are good enough. Tell me you deserve to be happy. Tell me you deserve to be loved," the brunette ordered, tapping her fingertip against JJ's sensitive bundle.
"Em, I can't," she denied.
"Tell me you think you deserve to be with me."
"Please," she begged both for release and avoidance of Emily's command.
"Tell me," Emily repeated. "And I'll make you cum," she bargained. JJ bit her lip and gripped the sheets wrinkled beneath her. Her knuckles turned white as she fought against her pleasure, trying to think of anyway she wouldn't have to say those words. "Come on, Jen. Say it," Emily encouraged. JJ grunted a guttural noise as Emily's finger danced sporadically over her clit, keeping her teetering on the edge.
JJ started, clearly having difficulty speaking overwhelmed by her pleasure and her insecurity. "I deserve to be happy. I deserve to be loved." She stopped, hoping that was enough.
"Tell me," Emily prodded.
"I am good enough," JJ paused. "I deserve to be with you." She released a swallowed breath as her words settled around her. The wind was knocked from her lungs as Emily's talented fingers worked her into a powerful climax. As Emily climbed back up JJ's prone, sweaty body, JJ felt the ebbing waves of her orgasm slowly fade. Emily kissed her sweetly, waiting for the blue eyes to refocus. "Do you really believe that?" JJ asked nervously.
"Yes," Emily replied matter-of-factly. "Do you want to know a secret?" JJ nodded solemnly. Emily braced herself on her arms, staring JJ straight in the eyes. "I'm the one that is lucky. You are too good for me," she whispered sincerely before stealing JJ's response away with a kiss.
"Oh Em," JJ murmured happily and slightly doubtfully. Realizing her wife's clothing clad body still covered her own, JJ pushed at Emily's shoulder to roll them over. Emily's body strengthened, refusing to be moved. "Em, turn over," she instructed against the brunette's lips.
"Not tonight," Emily negated softly, refusing to meet her wife's eyes.
"Why?"
"All that dancing wore me out," she fibbed quickly. With one last kiss, she rolled off the bed and out of JJ's reach. Her body tingled with arousal, but she would not give into her need. She wanted to be able to give JJ her heart. She wanted to be able to let JJ in completely before she would submit to JJ's sexual advances. She changed clothes quickly and grabbed an extra large nightshirt. Sidling up behind JJ, Emily draped her arms protectively over the blonde's recently clothed middle. As sleep started to fill their minds, Emily whispered lovingly into JJ's ear. "You are good enough. I love you, Jennifer."