Chapter 36

The next day I was in a terrible mood. I thought, Maybe I'm just being way overprotective. Maybe I'm just being that possessive, controlling boyfriend who cannot handle their boyfriend conversing with other humans. Then again, Ragnarok isn't even human . . . and is always so mean to Crona . . . and such an obstacle in our relationship . . .

"Hey, Kid," said Soul. I snapped out of my thoughts and glared at him.

"What?"

"Whoa," he said, "What's with the attitude?"

"Nothing," I said.

"You sure?" said Maka, looking up from her book. "You look upset."

"It's nothing," I said. Though it definitely was something. I'm the kind of person who just can't let go of a bad thought once it's entered their mind. These rotten ideas were here to stay.

I didn't even bother taking notes in math. As I was walking out the door, Tsubaki caught up with me.

"Hey," she said. I didn't respond.

"I saw you didn't take notes," she said, "Did you want to copy mine?"

"No thanks," I said, and continued walking.

Tsubaki trailed after me, confused. "But . . . you always take notes . . ."

"Well, today I didn't feel like it."

She walked close behind me. "That's not like you," she said.

I stopped. "Will you just let it go?" I said. "You're not my mother."

I left her standing there and slunk to my next class. I definitely was not in the mood for history, but I took my seat and tried to pay attention. After 45 long, agonizing minutes, the class ended. I realized that I didn't remember a single thing but I didn't care.

I walked to the cafeteria and sat down next to Patty. She didn't question my bad mood, simply paying attention to her little Lego animals she had brought. Liz held the conversation all on her own. I could tell she was trying to get me to smile, or at least respond, but I didn't. I didn't eat my lunch, and let Patty have it. When she and Liz were done eating, Liz said, "Hey, Maka and Crona are challenging Soul and Black Star to basketball. You coming?"

"No."

She frowned. "Don't you want to hang out with Crona?"

I didn't look at her. "Not today."

"Are you alright?" said Liz.

"It doesn't matter," I said. "Just . . . go play basketball or whatever."

Liz put her hands on her hips. "What's up with you? The whole day you've just been so -"

"So what?"

She glared at me.

"Fine," she said, "Be that way. Come on, Patty."

"But Kid . . ."

"Patty."

Liz took her hand and led her away. I sighed. The day just couldn't get worse.

In English, I didn't even bother trying. I simply put my head down and slept the entire period. I avoided Crona the whole day, and when I went home I even avoided Liz and Patty.

The next day was rather the same, and the day after that, and the day after that. I got quite a few text messages during this time, like Where were you at lunch? Did you finish that report? Can we meet after school? Are you okay? To which I gave curt answers, like Yeah, I'm still in class, Sorry, I got things to do, and, the biggest lie of all, I'm okay. But really, I wasn't.

I pretty much stayed holed up at home all weekend, not eating meals with Liz and Patty and most definitely not doing my homework. I walked around the mansion in my pajamas, fixing crooked paintings and dusting the piano and fretting even more than usual over symmetry.

When we returned to school on Monday, Liz confronted me at break. She had somehow found me hiding away behind the gym.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"No, what the hell are you doing here?" she said, walking straight up to where I was leaning against the wall. "Why don't you hang out with us anymore?"

"Who's 'us'?"

"Kid, stop acting dumb. You're avoiding everyone. And by everyone, I mean your friends. Your boyfriend. People who are legitimately worried about you."

When I didn't respond, she grabbed my arm and pulled me so that I was facing her.

"Tell me what's wrong!"

Her voice rang out in the empty space. After a moment, she released my arm. I let if fall limp on my side.

"Is it . . . relationship problems?"

I clenched my fists. Slowly, I nodded.

"What happened?" she asked quietly.

"It's . . . it's stupid," I said. "It's Ragnarok. It's really been bothering me the last week. I mean, it's been bothering me for a while but lately it's . . . just unbearable. It's not . . . it's not even Crona's fault, it's just, I keep wondering how Crona handles that thing in his body, basically torturing him, and - and I can't do anything about it, because it's apart of a him. It's always there, like, I can never have a moment alone with Crona, and if I plan the perfect date and its the perfect weather and everything, there's a chance that Ragnarok will decide to show and embarrass Crona by ripping through his clothes in public, and I can see how horrified Crona is when that happens, and I think, how can we even have a normal relationship if this stupid thing is there, how can we ever -" I laughed "- how can we even have sex if at any moment Ragnarok can just pop out of his back and ruin everything and -"

Liz grabbed my shoulders. "Kid -"

I was getting hysterical. "I can't handle it," I said, "I can't handle much, really, but this is - this is just - I can't get over it, you know? I can't - like - maybe - maybe I should just break up with him -"

"Kid -"

"-maybe I should just break up with him because what if I fall completely in love?" I was shaking. "Eventually, it'll get too much, and if i'm in love, and he leaves me, what am I even going to do then, I think I'll just - I mean, I'm already so ugly and unsymmetrical and imperfect anyways -"

Liz pulled me into a hug, muffling my words with her hair. Words continued to spill out, though even I didn't know what I was saying, She held me until finally my voice trailed off, and I quieted down.

"Kid," said Liz, "I think you should talk to Stein."

I looked at her. "What?"

"If there's any chance that Crona can be . . . cured, then . . ."

". . . You think Stein can help?"

She nodded.

"It's impossible," I said, pulling away from her hug. "If you take the black blood away, Crona'll just -"

"You have to try," said Liz.

So I did.

I went to his classroom after school. I stood in the doorway; Dr. Stein was sitting in his chair backwards, leaning over his desk and muttering about something while he flipped through papers. I coughed to let him know I was there.

"Kid," he said, without looking up, "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to ask you something."

"You see, I'm kinda busy" - he scribbled something down - "So if you could not bother me and we can pick this up tomorrow -"

"I'm sorry, sir," I said, "But this really can't wait."

He finally looked up, and stared at me a bit. "Well, come in, then," he said.

I walked towards him, slowly, nervously. "Will this take long?" he asked. I nodded. He gave a tsk, then said, "Pull up a chair."

I took a seat from a nearby desk and sat down.

"What is it you wanted to talk about?" he said, opening one of his drawers and rifling through the clutter. I fought the urge to fix the mess of papers on his desk.

"Kid?"

"Oh," I said, "Yeah. Um, it's, uh . . ."

"I don't have all day," he said.

"Sorry. Uh. It's about Crona."

"What about him?" he said.

"Well," I said, "I want to know about his black blood."

"Didn't you already read up on it the first time you heard Crona was coming to the DWMA?" asked Stein.

"Yeah, but . . ."

"Unless you're interested in the science of it, there's not much to tell. Ragnarok is apart of the blood that flows through his body, that's why they're fused together like that -"

"But isn't there a way to remove it?"

He peered at me through his glasses.

"What's your reason for this?" he asked. "Why should you care?"

"Well - because," I said, "He's - He's my boyfriend."

He didn't even flinch. "I see."

"Yeah." I stared down at my hands. "I just want to know if there's a way to . . . fix him."

"Sorry," he said, "But there's really nothing I can do."

"There has to be something!" I said. "I mean, how did he even get like that in the first place, they must've had to, like, drain all his blood, so - so why can't you just do it again -"

"It's not that simple, Kid," said Stein, "He's lived this long with his black blood, so long that regular blood must be foreign to his body."

"Then give him some pill to change it," I said, "Y-You can give him a medicine or something, that'll change his genetic makeup, or, or make synthetic blood -"

"It's just not possible."

I slumped back in my chair.

"There has to be something you can do."

"There's nothing."

I sat there, unable to accept the truth that was smacking me right in the face. I kept staring at my hands, almost in a prayer, just hoping, hoping that Stein was wrong.

I heard him sigh. "Kid, I'm really sorry -"

I stood up, stopping him.

"Some doctor you are," I muttered before walking out of the room.

Liz and Patty were waiting for me outside.

"How'd it go?" said Liz.

"Terrible," I mumbled.

Patty frowned. "But Stein can help Crona."

"No he can't, Patty," I said.

"But . . ."

"Kid," said Liz, "I'm . . . really sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"I'm sorry, Kid!" said Patty, and wrapped me in a hug.

"I'm tired," I said. "Can we just . . . go home now?"

"Yeah," said Liz, "Let's go."

Patty and Liz both looped their arms in mine. I felt a bit better with them being there, but I knew that all I really wanted at that moment was to see Crona. But if I did, I'd probably lose it then and there. Even so, my heart ached to be with him, and I spent the night tossing and turning with nightmares so livid I could hardly stand it.