Chapter 34

Ferre sat on the couch still. She watched as Sprite and Lex played. Madi was seated in a chair not far away. She looked stoic. She reminded her of a younger Sorcha. Bellamy just outside the door on duty.

"How long until you think they are back?" Madi asked breaking her silence.

"Riding hard, it will be midday or later."

"Do you think that there will be a lot of ..." Madi started to ask and then looked at the children playing.

It was true that she was raised in a warrior world, a warrior nation. She was barely older than they were, but she was still reserved when it came to speaking of war. She looked over at Ferre and realized that the blonde was studying her. Hazel eyes met questioning blue and held. Madi wasn't sure that she should even end her question, but as soon as she opened her mouth to say something else, Ferre did instead.

"With this...what happened to Octavia? Yes, I know there will be. She won't stand for it."

"Are you worried for her?"

"Of course, I am. I worried for everyone that will be affected by this. How can I not be? This is what she fought to stop and it's come anyway. I don't know what she is thinking, but I can assure that it isn't anything pleasant for those on the other side of that wall," Ferre explained, realizing that Madi was sanitizing their conversation for the children's sake.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead," Ferre told her.

Madi looked down at the kids again and then back up at Ferre. She thought about what she was going to say and then stopped herself. She knew that she would be talking strategy and battles soon enough. The other commanders in her head were already starting to plan. It was the burden of the Flame and she knew it. She would deal with all that later, with Palla, with Clarke...with her generals. But, now, she wanted to learn more about the Terrens. She couldn't help her people if she didn't know what she was up against, if she didn't fully understand the world that they were going to be living in, and if she didn't have some idea on how she was going be able to help them survive on this world now.

"Your people believe in reincarnation," Madi started.

"We do."

"Ours do, but only is a limited capacity."

"How so?" Ferre inquired.

"I have an artefact in my neck. We call it the Flame. It bears the memories and thoughts of the Commanders before me. When one Commander dies, the next is said to be selected by their spirit. When the new heda is found, they are given the Flame."

"And, you have it?"

"I do. I was not selected in the usually way. I took it to save my mother. You must understand that our heda is our leader and has to be a natblida."

"What does that mean?"

"A nightblood."

"Black blood?" Ferre inquired.

"Yes. I know that Palla is one as well. It seems that Becca's serum was given to your ancestors, too. She has told me that they are rare here as well."

"Yes, they are. Palla is the first in a generation. It is how she became Fio."

"She didn't have to fight for the position, though. I didn't either. Usually the last one took the flame, after Lexa died..."

"Lexa?" Ferre asked.

"Yes, Lexa kom Trikru, she was the last Commander before Praimfaya."

"Was she a warrior?"

"Yes, she was. She was the best of her clan. She was a gifted leader."

"How did she die?" Ferre asked her.

"She was shot," Madi said and then pointed at her torso. "Here. Her advisor and teacher betrayed her because she fell in love with Clarke and shot her. It was an accident, but the fall out was immediate. Clarke was obviously devastated. She's loved no one since."

Ferre sucked in a breath and held it. Madi watched her and regarded her reaction. It wasn't a normal reaction that she would expect.

"And, you have her memories?" Ferre probed.

"I do."

"But, you weren't chosen by her spirit to take over?"

"No."

"Do you think that she accepts you are the new Heda?"

"I do. She's shown me a lot. She's helped me a lot. I know that she keeps certain memories from me about Clarke and I understand that, but she also shows me her mistakes and how much she loved Clarke. I love Clarke, too, but we both know that it is different. Out of all of them, Becca, the first and Lexa, the last speak to me the most. I don't know if it is because of my age or if they aren't sure how to help me because we aren't at war, but I am grateful for their memories and their strategies. They have made me a better leader and a better warrior," Madi answered.

"Why do you ask these things, Madi?" Ferre questioned.

"I want to know what you believe. I want to believe that since I wasn't chosen in the same fashion as the Commanders before, that Lexa's spirit is still looking for the rightful heir to her throne, but I think that it is more than that. I know that Lexa accepts me. I know that she approves of me. Did she choose me because of Clarke? I don't know, but I don't believe that I was her true choice."

"Why is that?"

"She and Clarke are soulmates. I honestly believe that. Which is why I find your beliefs in reincarnation so fascinating."

"You do?" Ferre inquired. "Why?"

"You believe that your spirits will alway find each other in some form or capacity. Lexa believed that enough that she told Clarke that they would meet again. Sure, it was Clarke's traditional farewell from living on the Ark. It was part of prayer of sorts they said. Clarke never believed it. She believes in science, not the spiritual. She told Lexa the same thing. But, Lexa believed in the spiritual. She believed that no matter what happened to them, they would find each other in their next life," Madi told her.

"But, you've been asleep for over a century. What happened to your souls then? And, if your souls entered the Guf like we believe, where did all those go that were on Earth before Praimfaya? Will they all be reborn?" Ferre asked.

"I don't know. I hope so. I hope that they find peace and those that they love. I believe that my spirit will the next person to replace me and I believe that they will be younger than me. I believe that I will teach them of what it means to be Heda, but I couldn't tell you who it is until I look into their eyes. Lexa hoped that it would be Aden. He was the most promising on the children that she was training. He swore to protect Clarke and Skaikru, her people as his own. He would maintain the peace. But, Clarke didn't want to hear it. She didn't want to have be in a world without Lexa and she still doesn't. It has been almost seven years for her mentally and she still can't let go. She doesn't want to. She isn't looking either. I think that I make it hard on her," Madi said.

"Because you have part of Lexa with you?"

"Yes. I remind her too much of Lexa and she loves me. She's my mother now and I love her, but I know sometimes when I say things or the way I move or the way I command...it all reminds her of Lexa and that is all she sees. But, you see with your faith, I know that Lexa is out there waiting for her and they will find each other. When they do, I know that Clarke will actually be happy again. And, maybe she can hang up her mantle of Wanheda and just be..."

"Just be?" Ferre pushed.

"Clarke Griffin again."

Ferre looked at the preteen with admiration. She was indeed wise beyond her years. It might be the Flame that she'd talked about, but it just might be that she had an old soul. Ferre wasn't sure, but she wanted to watch her lead her people. She knew that it would be interesting to see them grow as she did. Madi leading them wasn't going to be an issue for anyone that knew her. The Terrens would think it odd that the Earthlings followed someone so young, or at least they would until she opened her mouth and commanded her army. Then, they would all know who and what Madi was. She was the Heda.

"That is very admirable."

"It something that I want for her. She has been at odds with who she has become since she landed on Earth. She's fought to keep her people alive. She's done things that she didn't want: killed people, made choices to sacrifice her own people for the survival of the human race, sacrificed her own sanity to protect those she loves. She deserves some peace."

"Yes, she does."

"Can you tell me more though, about your beliefs?" Madi said stirring the conversation back on topic.

"It is said that Guf is the Well of Souls. When you die, your soul goes back there. When it is time to be reborn, your soul selects a new body and it born. Sometimes you remember, sometimes you don't know anything. As you grow, you feel a pull. It is that pull that drives you. It is said that the pull is the desire to be with your soulmate. They will feel the same pull. Sometimes it isn't as great, sometimes, it is so strong that you can't help yourself. But, even in the next life if you aren't lovers, you will be in your soulmates life somehow."

"So, we could have upset the balance?" Madi asked.

"I don't know. It is just what we believe. You should honestly talk with Balt. He is the Keeper. He might be able to explain it better."

"Is there anything else?" Madi questioned.

"Some say that birthmarks are the locations on your body where you died in a previous life."

Madi stared into her hazel eyes. She could tell that there was a reason that Ferre brought that up next. She could tell that it was something that Palla possibly didn't believe in whole-hearted. Then, she thought back to the beginning of their conversation. Ferre had been shocked by Madi telling her that Lexa had been shot in her torso just below her chest and that it was the fatal shot. Her eyes lit up.

"Palla has a birthmark, doesn't she?" Madi asked.

"She does."

"It is in the same spot that Lexa was shot, isn't it?"

"It is."

Madi's blue eyes got wider. Suddenly, it all made sense. No wonder Palla was so set on protecting them all. They were all really her people. Her soul recognized them. She might have the Flame, but Palla was Lexa reborn. She had to be.

"She cares for Clarke, doesn't she?"

"She does."

"Tamma was her Costia..."

"Who?"

"Lexa lost a love before she met Clarke. She was used against her. Their lives parallel a lot actually," Madi stated as she actually realized it herself.

"Costia was killed?"

"Beheaded and sent back to her," Madi told her and heard Ferre's gasp.

"Did Lex avenge her?"

"She did, but it took time. She wanted to mount an army go after the person that did it, but they used her own laws against her. She waited and when she found the opportunity, she took it. We used to have a phrase. It was actually part of our law. Jus drein jus daun."

"What does that mean?" Ferre questioned.

"Blood must have blood."

"An eye for an eye."

"Essentially, but Lexa took it to different levels. She allowed Clarke to mercy kill a boy she loved for killing eighteen innocents in his search to save her instead of him suffering for the eighteen deaths. She stabbed him in the heart before Lexa could order the completion of the execution."

"How would he have suffered?" Ferre asked.

"It would have involved all those who were willing to cut him. Sometimes we refer to it as the death by a thousand cuts. No one has ever survive a full gambit. Lexa when she was feeling merciful would limit the cuts. She would have only granted eighteen to cut him before she would have run him through with her sword to end his suffering. He would have been lucky. If he hadn't succumb with the eighteen cuts that could have been taken anywhere on his body, he would have been burned. If he survived that, he would have salt rubbed on him. If he made it through that, he would have been stabbed through the chest. If by some measure he was still granted life through that, Heda would grant him the mercy of death. She would behead him."

"How many suffered that fate?"

"Two that she'll let me remember, but others did at other Commander's hands," Madi replied.

"Why just those two?"

"They were traitors."

"I doubt that Palla would allow that to happen here," Ferre stated.

"That won't be a problem for us," Madi replied.

"Why not?"

"Because neither will I or Clarke. It is barbaric and overkill. Executions might be necessary, but torturing before death isn't necessary," Madi added.

Ferre smiled. She was indeed wise beyond her years. Clarke had done well in raising her. It was obvious that while Madi was what they called "Grounder," she still prescribed to a little more civilized thinking. She believed in justice and fairness and not necessarily suffering be a part of punishment.

"What will your people say?" Ferre probed.

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"No, they won't."

"Why not?" Ferre asked.

"Because we aren't on Earth any more and this is a new era with a new Heda," Madi answered like it was the most perfectly logical answer ever.