ok, finally chapter 35!! the characters finally decided to come out of hiding and I hope you like this chapter. I'm going to Budapest tomorrow and I'm sooooooo happy! So I wanted you people to be happy also, hence the M rating of this chapter ... Lot's happens ... so all sorts of things to look for: violence, S-E-X so make sure you decide to want to read before you actually get started ... Thank you and enjoy!!

Chapter XXXV – A feeble mind?

She woke up in the middle of the night screaming. It had become a habit of hers over the last few weeks. She did not do it on purpose. Quite the contrary she feared she had lost all control over her body. The dreams were not like before. They seemed real and painful. They were sometimes about Robert but all the time they were about the Butcher. He had become her enemy. A man that had invaded not only her body but her mind as well and for that she hated him … She hated herself most of all, for allowing it.

Her husband laid next to her, his back turned, still and dark as the rest of the room. She looked at him for a moment, wanting to call him but thought better of it.

Guy was not sleeping yet he pretended to. He was growing tired of all of it. He thought that with time and patience she would become what she once was. He wanted the woman he fell in love with back. The strong, fearless, defiant woman who drove him mad with anger and lust. She seemed gone, lost to him forever and he did not know if he cared to live with this other person that was occupying his bed as of late. He knew he would think better of it in the morning. That he would be sorry to have thought what he was thinking right now. And he knew he would never leave her. But for now he remained still and determined not to say a word.

That is until she threw the bed covers off her, rose from the bed and headed for the weapon's trunk. His eyes snapped open immediately but kept his voice low and groggy: "Josie, bloody hell, come back to bed!"

"I can't. He's coming for me." She moved from the trunk, knife in hand and sited herself on the chair facing the door.

He sighed and stood up. "No one is coming. Put that thing down and come here!"

In response she simply shook her head and stared intently towards the door, keeping the knife close to her. "Go back to sleep." she told him

"Look Josephine" Guy said harshly. "I am tired of this game! For what ever reason you are doing it, stop! If he is to come I will protect you, like I have always done."

"But you haven't." she answered quietly. "You let him do those terrible things to me. You didn't protect me. You …"

"Enough!" Guy shouted and rose from the bed. He came at her and grabbed the knife out of her hand. His breathing was roughed and he looked at her with that violent gaze he had when she had really managed to anger him. Usually that would make her blood boil and she would retaliate in par, for when Guy was like this there were many advantages to be had and many blows to serve. Yet now, his reaction made her look up at him frightened and she sank into her chair pulling her red veil down on her head and covered her ears with her hands, moving her body back and forth like she always did when she felt surrounded and defeated.

"I'm sorry." Guy said quickly, bending down and pulling her to him, seeing his resolve crumble within seconds. "Please! I get angry sometimes. I have a temper. You know this of me. No need for this …" he said running his hand down her back.

"Guy, it is true!" she whispered, holding him tightly. "He is coming. I heard him …or perhaps I dreamt it …"

"No!" Guy said decidedly, pushing her so that he could look into her eyes. "This will not go on any longer! He is a varmint, a weak leper. I will not allow for him to haunt you a moment longer."

Within seconds he stood up, leaving her cold and with her hands extended towards him. He crossed the distance towards the bed and went about making light in the room.

"Stand up and come here." he said over his shoulder.

She did as he asked and approached him with shaking knees, guessing what he had in mind for her. "Guy, no …" she begged whispering. "Please …".

"This will have to do, I suppose." he said taking out an old, brown dress and holding it up. "I will buy you new ones, better ones but for now … take off that night shift."

"Guy, no ... I can't …" she said wrapping her arms around herself tightly.

He sighed and reached out his hands to the back of her shift. She did not pull away. He was surprised to feel his own hands shaking. He had held her in his arms every night for the last month and a half, while she shook from every part of her body, while she cried or while she slept. Yet there was something so incredibly erotic about undressing her, about the way she lifted her arms so that he might take the night shift off and reveal her naked body. He stood still for a moment, away from her, admiring her body … still as beautiful as ever. Slightly more slender then before but still milky white and perfect. She did not seem to mind being naked in front of him and encircled his waist with her long arms so that she might support her shaking body against his chest. She placed her ear against his heart and heard it beating out of control. An involuntary sly smile covered her lips for a moment knowing that the beating was for her and realizing just how hard the closeness was for him.

He knew she could tell how his desire for her was increasing but he did not mind. He wanted her to feel it in the hopes that it might prompt her to do something about it … to become his wife again. He ran his fingers along her spine till the edge of her buttocks and felt her shiver. He smiled his usual half smile and held the dress up.

-oOo-

Half an hour later they were in the cart. The horses were running wildly through the dark, frozen planes and he sat at the edge of the precipice. He feared that it was perhaps not such a good idea after all. That perhaps she was not ready, that he had pushed her too far and he might lose her completely.

He looked at her. She had not moved since she had gotten in the cart. She had pulled the large, furred hood of her red coat over her head and leaned against the door, staring outside into nothingness. She looked paler then ever and rubbed her hands against each other continuously in an attempt to numb her mind.

Still, he reasoned it was too late to back off now. His stubborn streak and his impatience told him to let the cart take its course. And so it did …

They soon arrived at Nottingham castle and the keeper let them through to the inner yard. The cold, sharp air hit them as soon as they came out of the cart and headed towards the entrance. Josephine looked up at the north wall, uneasy about the sight. She had never seen Nottingham like this. There was usually havoc and noise. Now she could see the reek of her own breath and heard one lonely groom, still half asleep, rushing to meet them with a torch.

Guy took it and quickly dismissed the groom. He grabbed her by the hand and pulled her towards the stairs.

They walked through the long corridors, with him leading the way with the torch and her hurrying behind him, grabbing her skirts with her free hand, trying to keep up. They walked through the corridors for a while, going deeper and deeper into the belly of the castle.

They finally stopped in front of a large iron door which Guy opened with a key he had placed in his pocket. He pushed the door open and began walking through another long corridor with cells on each side. Somewhere in the distance she could hear screams, wood and rusting metal squeaking and moaning and her resolve faltered. No doubt the henchmen were at work tonight. He squeezed her hand harder without looking at her and pulled her after him.

Finally towards the end of the corridor he released her hand and faced one of the cell doors. She felt her knees shaking out of control and she reached her hand to lean against the wall. She did not want to seem weak but she was afraid she might collapse once she would be faced with the sight.

Guy pushed the door open and entered. For a moment she did not see anything as she leaned against the wall, trying to catch her breath. She only heard a loud splash fallowed by a painful groan.

With her knees shaking, she pealed herself off the wall and pushed the door open. She looked about the room for a moment, blinded by the bright orange light coming from a large fire placed in the middle of the room, under what seemed to be a large metal table and numbed by the fowl smell of blood and feces. Chains and all sorts of contraptions covered the right and south wall. Guy was standing in the middle of the room, staring towards the left wall and suddenly she felt calm. She composed herself and took a few steps inside the room.

She turned towards the left wall and faced a gruesome sight. The Butcher was chained to the wall, blood covering his naked body, banging his head against the wall moaning. Josephine did not know what exactly Guy had done to him but he did not seem human anymore. His whole body was covered in wounds and he kept his legs apart and towards the sides, no doubt broken. Several parts of his body had been cut off and he was all skin and bones.

Josephine should have been shocked at the sight, nauseated but she wasn't. She had never seen these kinds of things before. Of course she had seen executions but never anything like this, and yet, she stared at him calmly. She was not afraid anymore. He stared blankly at her with the only eye he had left and didn't even seem to recognize her. He was like an animal. A wounded, trapped animal.

"Like the circus!" she said all of a sudden and started to laugh. Right there in front of all that blood and pain, Josephine Gisborne felt like herself again. She knew what she had to do now. It wasn't for revenge or out of fear but because it had to be done. And as so many things in her life before this, when something had to be done Josephine did it.

The sound of her voice made him flinch. He had not heard voices in so long. "Mama?" he asked smiling at her.

She smiled back and turned towards her husband who was watching her with a puzzled expression. She did not say anything. She just stared into his eyes while she reached her hand towards his waist and pulled his dagger out. Before he could say anything, she turned around and headed for the Butcher. She kept the dagger low, next to her body and pulled the large hood off her head.

As she approached him the Butcher smiled at her again and said: "Mama! You've come to see me?"

She stood in front of him and ran her hand through his hair while her eyes stared at him coldly. "Yes, it's your mama …" she said. He looked at her with love and smiled openly revealing a toothless mouth. Soon though his look turned to horror and then pain as she plunged the blade deep into his belly. He wanted to gasp or scream but the sound would not come. Within seconds he was dead. She pulled the knife out and slowly wiped it against his flesh until it was clean again.

She turned around to face Guy, fearing that he would look at her horrified and disgusted but he seemed relieved. She came towards him and as she lifted her arms, she felt her hands wet and clammy. She looked down to find her red gloves covered in blood and she started shaking, dropping the dagger to the ground.

She stared at them for a while until he grabbed them between his large, leather covered hands, steadying them and pulling the gloves off her hands and throwing them to the side.

"Thank you …" she said looking at him. "That is the kindest thing you've ever done for me."

-oOo-

As the cart moved quickly through the night, Guy looked at his wife hoping to find something different in her. She did not seem better after what she had done. She was still leaned against the door, staring outside mindlessly, the hood pulled over half her face.

He had thought that when faced with the Butcher she would realise she did not need to fear him. He had gone as far as to think that she would ask him to kill the man. Now he realised that his wife did not need to ask anyone else to handle her affairs. She was quite capable of taking care of anything herself.

Still he had hoped the whole affair would have left her happier, more like herself. He decided not to push the matter for tonight. She was already tired and had gone through enough to have him torment her more.

He led her through the house slowly, her body leaning into his as she grew weak again.

Once in the room, he began to undress slowly and she stood in front of the door looking at him, walking from side to side. It felt uncomfortable the way she was staring at him and he feared she would tell him to leave at any moment. For a moment he thought about removing his woolen breeches but changed his mind quickly.

As he headed for the bed, she called out to him … "Guy?" she asked in a shaking voice.

"Yes …"

"Lay with me tonight …" she told him hesitantly.

For a moment his heart leaped and felt his legs move without even noticing but he soon stopped himself, fearing what might happen if he did what she asked. He didn't think he could stand seeing her banging her head against the wall, curled up and crying. "Perhaps we should wait a little longer …" he said regretfully.

"No …" she said, coming towards him and lifting her arms to untie the laces of the gown. "It will not be as it was before. I am ready now" she said pushing her gown down.

The sight of her body through the transparent material of her undershift made him shift uncomfortably for a moment willing himself to remain still. "Josie, I don't want to hurt you …"

"Then don't …" she said, dropping her undershift to the ground. "I've tried washing him off me. I've tried removing him from my skin but he will not leave!" she told him slowly. "So you must do it for me. Please …" She whispered the imploring word slowly, looking at him and it was all it took for him to come next to her.

"Is he here?" he asked kissing her temple and pulling on her red veil. He pushed her hands away as she tried to stop him. "Shhhhhh! You know how much I like your hair."

"It's chopped now."

"It will grow." he told her as he pushed her hair over her shoulders and bent down to kiss her neck. "Is he here?" he asked as he moved up again towards her mouth, feeling her nod. He kissed her slowly, cupping her face with his hands and trying to concentrate on every single feature of her face, as he continued to kiss her cheeks, her eyelids, her nose, her ears …

By the time he was done her face was burning red and she looked up at him dizzy.

"Do you trust me?" he asked her.

"Yes …"

"I will stop if you tell me to. No matter what, I will stop." he said and bent down to pick her in his arms.

As he put her on the bed and looked down at her, laying there with her hair spread across the pillow, breathing hard, a little apprehensive of what was to happen, he wondered if he could really keep the promise he had made just moments before.

He laid next to her and began caressing her body, telling her to close her eyes. As he began kissing every inch of her body, working his way down towards her legs and the ugly scar on her left thigh, he again had to wonder who much self-control he would have to muster.

He heard her whimper as he pushed her legs open slowly but she did not say anything. She grasped at the white sheet beneath her and arched her back, trying not to think of anything except Guy. It became easier then she had thought, as his hands ran across her body and his tongue left a wet trail along her abdomen and towards the place that had endured so much destruction.

His touch was soft and silky and she suddenly felt a burning quiver in her belly that she did not think she would feel again. She gave out a low moan that surprised her as much as him. He smiled and continued to kiss her until her breathing became roughed and quickened. It took time but he did not mind it. He enjoyed the taste of her under his lips, the way her heated thighs moved around his face as he ran his fingers up and down her flesh.

Finally, he felt her hand at the back of his neck, running her fingers through his hair and he began to move upwards towards her. He stood up for a moment until she opened her eyes.

He picked up her hand, kissing it slowly and brought it towards his breeches, keeping it there until he felt her fingers wrap around him. He tilted his head and gave out a satisfied groan. "Undress me, Josie." he told her.

She did as she was told, lifting herself up towards him and pulling on the laces of his breeches and pushing them down over his thighs. Once he had removed them, he laid on top of her, pulling her legs up, around his waist. He kissed her slowly as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Are you ready?" he asked and waited until he saw her nod. He pulled her upwards and guided himself into her.

She gave out a small whimper, biting her lip hard and closing her eyes.

"Am I hurting you?"

"No …" she said.

He pushed himself into her slowly and began moving fearing that at any moment he might lose control. He was not a man to deny himself pleasure or to postpone it and learning how to do it was costing him. "Open your eyes" he said looking at her. "I want you to see me."

She did as he asked and he kept her head in check as he lowered her on the pillow and himself on top of her. He kept looking at her as his face changed slowly until he could hardly see anymore. He feared he was moving too fast but she did not say anything. She gasped and tilted her head back, beginning to move faster.

He recognized the movement and pulled her upwards. "Who am I, Josie?" he asked her, stopping his movements and confusing her.

She gasped for a moment, annoyed that he had stopped, not knowing what to say. Then finally, looking into his eyes she spoke: "You are Guy of Gisborne." she said.

He smiled satisfied and pushed into her again, making her spine tingle. "And what else?" he asked.

This time she smiled and brought her hands towards his face: "You are my husband." She pushed backwards, bending her spine and moving around him.

"And what else?" he asked, his hot breath falling over her breast. She moaned deeply, shoving her hands in his hair and pulling him towards her. "You're … You're … You're my master …"

just in case you were fearing Madame Sadistic was gone, she came back with a vengance (or so I hope, LOL). And just in case you felt sorry for The Butcher I suggest you go read the "A wreck" chapter and get over it!! remember: reviews equal love!!