A/N: I decided to do this chapter in Vegeta's point of view. I'm not sure if this will continue for a few chapters or just this one. I'm sure you all would love to know Vegeta's perspective on everything that's happened.

Life as We Know It

Phase XXXVI: Holding On

Vegeta's P.O.V

I let my head fall back against the gravity wall, a sigh leaving me. The ache in my chest stayed, and I absently reached up and rubbed the spot. I let my arm fall back on my raised knee, closing my eyes. I didn't know how long I was going to be able to bear this. The constant state of bitterness, the emotions that would squeeze my chest whenever she was around. I felt the slight pull in the back of my mind, knowing my connection to the woman was trying to establish itself once more. That day flitted through my mind again.

I wasn't going to keep her in a state of mated bonding against her will. The woman deserved better. She deserved to be with someone she chose, someone she wanted to be with. I felt fury burn in my chest at that thought, taking a deep breath. I gritted my teeth, trying to stave off the raw anger appearing at the thought of her with someone else...anyone else.

The desolate, lost feelings of apprehension continued to blanket my mind, my brows furrowing as a grim frown appeared on my face. I heard the door creak open, not moving a muscle as footsteps lightly padded across the floor. They paused in front of me, and I slowly cracked my eyes open. I drew in a sharp intake of breath.

"Where do you want me to put this?" Athea asked, nervously biting her lip as she looked from me to the tray in her hands. She shifted from foot to foot. "Um...Bulma asked me to bring it in. She said you would be hungry, having been in here all day."

I swallowed, still watching her underneath lowered lashes as she turned and set the tray of food on the small space next to the control panel. I studied her as her gaze flicked to me, the woman quickly looking away as she cleared her throat. A breath slowly left me as I stood, not making a sound as I crossed the room to stand behind her. I felt my world tilt as I breathed in her scent, biting back the moan that wanted to erupt from my throat. The feelings of loss and bitterness slowly died with the woman standing in front of me, within touching distance. I took a long, slow intake of breath as I raised my hand, softly threading my fingers through her hair. Athea jumped, her head whipping around to stare at me. I watched her swallow hard, letting my arm fall.

"Wh—What are you doing Vegeta?" Athea asked quietly, her voice a little off kilter.

My chest tightened at the sight of wariness in her eyes, looking away. I couldn't bear to see that look on her face. She didn't understand my need to touch her, to want her close.

She didn't remember.

I kept silent, grabbing the plate and ignoring it when she backed up a step. A muscle started twitching in my jaw. I sat on the weight bench, halfheartedly picking up the fork. I swallowed before looking up, drinking in the sight of the woman I had come to care for more than...more than anything.

Even myself.

"Thanks woman," I said quietly, not saying anything else as I looked back down at my plate.

I could sense her surprise at my words, slowly chewing as she backed away, turning and quickly leaving the gravity chamber. I closed my eyes, gritting my teeth as the pain returned once more, my fork clattering against the plate. I scooted back, lifting a leg up onto the bench. I wrapped an arm around it, letting my head fall forward. Son of a bitch! My eyes squeezed closed and I hissed in a breath. How long am I going to have to endure this! I sucked in an unsteady breath, completely forgetting about the food sitting in front of me as I battled with the intense pain ripping through my body. My hands clenched into fists, a snarl erupting out of me as I shot up, quickly ascending and leaping into the air.

My gaze went to the door, my mouth set. If I can't escape these emotions, then I'll just make myself numb to the pain.

I started an intense kata, small growls and snarls emitting from my throat as I put myself through rigorous training. I grunted as I stretched my muscles to their maximum, intent on making myself immune to feeling anything whatsoever.

Even if it meant training until exhaustion...until I sank into the welcoming blackness of oblivion.

X

X

X

I finally sank to the floor, hours after I started the abuse on my body. It was nothing compared to what I felt when I saw the woman...smelled her, touched her. That was the worst torture...watching the one you want the most, the one you had, being so close yet so far away.

A small groan left me as I slowly climbed to my feet, letting a breath out as I pushed the button on the control panel, my shoulders drooping as the pressure returned to normal. I quickly left the gravity room, trying to disguise the small limp in my step as I made my way to my room. I swallowed as I went up the stairs, taking my time going through the house. I could feel her energy inside her room, pausing for a moment and studying the bedroom door. What would she do if I just walked in? Would she listen to what I had to say? Would she act like before and cower away from me? The woman obviously didn't remember anything beyond the day before our mating. She still believed me to be the cold-hearted bastard she had dealt with once upon a time. The seemingly uncaring man who aggressively screwed her time and again. I stared hard at the doorknob, my muscles twitching with the desire to reach out and turn it. Such a simple task. My body refused to cooperate with my brain, standing here in the hallway, frozen in front of the woman's door. My mouth suddenly dry, I slowly reached my hand up, pausing for a moment before laying it on the cold metal. I could feel her in there, moving around. So close, yet so far. Do I want to rock the boat, and forcefully position myself in her life? Or should I just let things be, and see how everything goes!? My brows scrunched in indecision, before turning into a full scowl. I let my hand drop from the knob.

"You need to talk to her Vegeta."

My head snapped to the side, my lips twisting in irritation at the sight of Kakkarot standing a few feet away. He met my gaze, not wavering as he let me glare at him. What the hell does he know!? Why is he sticking his nose in my business anyways?

"What do you want Kakkarot?" I snapped, my hands balling at my sides. I didn't feel like dealing with this clown right now! I had a lot on my plate, and this invasion into my privacy was starting to get on my nerves. I felt my body tense as he casually straightened from the wall, holding my gaze as he walked closer. Kakkarot's eyes shifted towards the door for a moment before moving back towards me.

"I'd like to see my friends happy," he stated softly, crossing his arms.

I scoffed, resisting the urge to roll my eyes. "We don't always get what we want now do we!" I stated, feeling a small sneer appear on my lips. I watched in satisfaction as Kakkarot's eyes narrowed, a frown appearing on his face. I wasn't as angry or hateful to the man anymore, not for awhile. But it gave me a small perverse feeling of satisfaction to know that I could influence the man's moods so easily.

"You had what you desired Vegeta," the man stated softly, watching me intently, "You're the one that pushed it away. So don't stand there and try to blame anyone but yourself for your misery."

I felt my jaw clench, refusing to acknowledge how true his words were. I didn't want to admit that the man was right, I didn't want to think about the repercussions of my snap decisions and actions all those months ago. I snarled at the other saiyan, refusing to give any sort of answer.

"Just shut up!" I growled, feeling my blood boil in rage. I was trying very hard to keep my energy under control, but it was seeming to be hard to do. Yes, I was angered at Kakkarots' words. Yes, I was mad he had to stick his nose into my business, and yes, I hated the fact that he was right.

But most of all, I was pissed at myself.

How could I have let her go so easily!? Was my pride worth that much? The agony of seeing her every day, knowing that she had no recollection of us being together beyond the few times we had sex? The twisting in my gut, my breath leaving me every time the woman got near me? Was it really worth the soul wrenching feelings of loneliness and desolation? Was it worth having a one-sided bond, experiencing every one of her feelings, anxieties, angered moments, and joy? Only to be left with nothing inside as the knowledge that I wasn't the one to make her experience those feelings really worth it!?

Was it worth me dying a little inside each day!?

I bit back a painful moan, my body aching just to be near the woman. My shoulders and back pinched from tension, my tail tightening around my waist in an unconscious protective gesture, showing the anxiety and distress without me having to voice anything. I glanced at the closed door once more, ignoring the saiyan beside me. I weighed my options: Go in, and possibly scare the woman to death!? Or just walk away right now, and see what develops? Would she even choose me, in the end? Or...someone else. My lip curled at the thought, my fists clenching so hard my nails dug into my palms, drawing droplets of blood. No one was taking my woman! NO ONE!

I reached out and laid my hand on the knob, shooting the clown next to me a dirty look when I realized his ass was still standing there. The man gave me one of his stupid relieved grins, and much to my annoyance, patted me on the shoulder, completely ignoring my snarl, before turning and disappearing down the hall. I glared at the spot he had been standing in, my brows narrowing a little more before slowly turning the doorknob, and stepping in.

X

X

X

I had been expecting some semblance of apprehension. Some cowering on the bed. Even going so far as to expect the woman to attack me.

What I had not been expecting is for her to be sitting against the headboard, knees drawn up, crying her eyes out.

I paused halfway to the bed, listening to her gut wrenching sobs, the woman's breath hitching every few seconds. I crossed my arms, my tail unraveling and flicking behind me in indecision. What the hell do I do now?

I didn't say anything for several minutes, listening to her bawl before slowly walking forward. I grabbed the tissue box on her nightstand, lightly tapping her with a knuckle. I couldn't help the amused smirk that crossed my features as she jumped, a small sound coming out of her as her head shot up, her eyes full of surprise. Didn't she hear me come into her room? Didn't the woman sense me?

I contemplated this as Athea raised a hand, her fingers curling around the box and my fingers. I felt my heart skip a beat at the contact. I kept my face impassive though, letting the box get pulled from my grasp and crossing my arms. We studied one another for several seconds, the only sound was the small hiccups coming from the woman's throat. She finally cleared her throat.

"Thank you," she whispered, her eyes following my movements as I moved to the end of the bed. I could see the wariness in her eyes, the slight blush appearing on her cheeks as she bit her lip. I raised an eyebrow at that, wandering exactly what she was thinking of. Feelings of euphoria and relief started leaking through the bond, making me blink. I couldn't help the satisfied grin that spread on my face, realizing exactly what she was thinking of. My eyes fell to half mass, eying the woman only a foot away as she fidgeted on the bed. I let my gaze rake over her, pausing for a moment on her silky thighs and trailing down her smooth legs. I let my eyes roam back up, taking my time as I looked her over, letting a small short breath out. My gaze finally met hers, not caring if she saw the raw desire in mine, the need and want for that perfect body to be underneath me. I remember, vividly, how good we fit together. The feel of her legs wrapped around me, her fingers in my hair, the feel of her body welcoming mine with such heat. I turned and walked to the chair a few feet away, clenching my jaw as I tried to get control of my body's reactions. This isn't what I was here for. I was here to incorporate myself into the woman's life again, not fuck it up the first chance I got. Even though she was thinking about the first time we slept together, the nervousness and apprehension I could feel coming from her had me, unwillingly, deciding to take things a little slower than I would have liked.

Even if it was killing me.

We studied one another for several minutes. Athea finally broke contact, shifting her gaze towards the bed, plucking at the comforter in obvious nervousness. She parted her lips, sucking in a small breath as if she was fixing to speak, pausing for a moment before deciding to stay quiet. I leaned back in the chair, watching her lazily as I stretched my legs out and crossed my ankles. The woman was indecisive, unsure of herself around me. I realize I was an unfeeling bastard when we first slept together, and that I really didn't take into account how she would feel about it. But did she have to keep glancing at me as if I was going to jump her and force the woman!?

I met her gaze as she peered at me through lowered lashes, watching her throat move as she swallowed. She opened her mouth, pausing as if she was thinking about something, before folding her arms and clearing her throat.

"How..." Athea paused, nibbling on her lower lip for a moment. God, if she doesn't stop that, I'm going to jump up and do it for her! I swallowed a small groan, watching and adjusting myself in the seat. I plastered a frown on my face, settling a scowl in place.

"Would you stop that!" I practically growled, feeling a muscle twitch in my cheek as her eyes widened. Athea froze on the bed, all action seizing as wariness crept into her eyes. My scowl deepened.

"Sorry Vegeta," she whispered, her voice barely audible. I grunted, my tail twitching, tapping softly against my leg.

I averted my gaze, glancing around the room so as not to have her in my eyesight for a few moments. The temptation to stand and go to her was making my chest ache, and I needed to get a grip on my impulses and instincts before I do something that would put even more distance between us. Like going over and ravishing the woman's' mouth, or taking it further and sinking into her welcoming heat, no matter what her protest. I heard her shift on the bed, turning my gaze towards the source. A flush lightly spread across Athea's face as she averted her eyes, her throat moving as she swallowed. I tapped my fingers against the armrest in agitation for a moment, before finally standing. The woman jerked her head towards me, her eyes wide as she scooted back on the bed. Fuck it! I'll chance it! I stalked over to the side of the bed, drinking in the sight of the woman seconds before swooping down and grinding my lips against hers. We both groaned as she fell back onto the bed, my hands already at her waist, trailing my fingertips underneath her shirt. A small, satisfied growl escaped at the feel of her silky skin, her body quivering underneath my touch. I nipped her lower lip, ghosting my mouth down her neck. I buried my face in the juncture of her shoulder, taking a deep breath as I took in her scent. I could feel her chest heaving as I nuzzled her soft skin.

"Vegeta," Athea said breathlessly, her hands clutching the comforter beneath her.

"What?" I growled softly, not lifting my head from its current position. I settled a hand on her hip, letting the shirt fall back into place as I leaned more on my propped arm. I felt a small shiver rake her body.

"We can't," she whispered, her throat moving as she swallowed. She moved away from contact with me, lowering onto her elbows and settling wary eyes on my face.

I met her gaze, studying the woman for several seconds before speaking. "Why?"

Athea averted her gaze at the question, turning her head to the side a little. She started fidgeting under my unwavering stare, glancing at me once before scooting out from under me. I didn't move as she slid to the other side of the bed, letting her feet touch the floor for a moment before actually standing. I stayed where I was, following her movements with my eyes. My teeth ground together in frustration, my hands balling against the bed cover. I let out a soft snarl of annoyance as I straightened up, ignoring the slight whitening of the woman's face.

"Fine," I snapped in anger, crossing my arms and pinning the woman with a glare. "Why were you crying?"

Athea blinked at me, seeming taken aback by the sudden change in topic, one that was necessary in order for me to gain control of the need coursing through me and the desire to blow something up. I watched her struggle with her answer, her hands unconsciously balling around her shirt.

"Well," she began hesitantly, "I just—I...was experiencing all sorts of mixed emotions that had me so upset. And the worst part was," Athea paused as she swallowed, a wrinkle appearing between her brows. "They weren't my emotions." She gave a little laugh as I felt my body go cold at her words, my heart speeding up. "I don't even know why I was feeling them...they were washing over me as if I had no control over my body."

I stared at the woman, my eyes widening a little. My tail stopped flicking, hanging limp behind me. I stood there, mute from surprise. The realization of what was happening with her was clear in my mind, even though I didn't want to believe it. It was too disconcerting! I didn't want to put any hope or belief in what suddenly became clear to me about the odd occurrences she was experiencing. I know I did it right! My father taught me at a very young age, to avoid any sort of complications like this. The break was completed effortlessly, there were no errors.

Or so I thought.

I softly sucked in a breath through my teeth, vaguely noticing the woman watching me with curiosity shadowing her features. I stayed mute for a few moments before firmly meeting her gaze.

"They're mine," I whispered, watching Athea's eyes sharpen on my face.

"What?" she asked, her brows narrowing in obvious confusion. Her hands unconsciously tightened in the fabric of her shirt, wrinkling the material.

I closed my eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath as I opened them again, focusing on the woman across from me.

"They're mine," I stated firmly, neither of us wavering as we studied one another.

"You—your what, Vegeta?" Athea whispered, trepidation appearing across her features. She wasn't stupid. She's already realized what I'm talking about, and she appeared to not like it. At all!

"You know what," I stated softly, the quietness of my voice echoing through the silent room. Athea stared at me for several minutes, before slowly shaking her head.

"Why—why would I be experiencing your emotions!?" She asked weakly, a hand coming up to clutch her throat. "Was it—is it because we...um, slept together?"

My eyes closed as pain laced through me, clenching my teeth as I swallowed the feelings down. My chest expanded as I sucked in a breath, still refusing to look at the woman across from me as I tried to figure out exactly what to tell her. My tail started flicking in agitation, frustrated at everything, even though most of it was my fault. Doesn't mean I have to like it!

"Yes," I stated softly, not exactly lying, but not telling the whole truth either. It had been a result of us sleeping together, just not the time she's thinking of. My eyes opened slightly, before fully opening, noticing Athea had sunk onto the side of the bed, her head bent. I studied her for a moment before realizing she was crying again.

"Why," her voice sounded wet, breaking slightly as she spoke. "Why would you feel this way? How can I be experiencing your emotions just from us having sex?"

I pressed my lips together. I knew the woman wouldn't buy the half truth, she was too smart for that. I took a step towards her, acting without thinking. I caressed the side of her face, her skin soft against my fingertips. Her hair slid through my fingers as she lifted her gaze to me, her eyes shining with barely contained tears. I cupped her chin, roaming her features as we studied one another. She blinked, a lone tear falling down her cheek as she spoke.

"Something happened...didn't it?" Athea whispered, her eyes searching as I stayed silent.

I finally let my hand fall, folding my arms again as my tail moved. It had a mind of its' own, caressing the woman's arm before wrapping around her waist. She glanced at it for a few moments before looking back up at me.

"That's another thing," Athea stated softly, "I don't remember you having this before." She stood, rubbing a hand up and down her arm. She took a step closer to me, seeming to be hesitant in her movements. Unsure of exactly what she wanted to do. "What's been going on Vegeta? Please," she paused, pressing her lips together, "Please tell me if something has happened to me," Athea closed her eyes, a small breath leaving her, "again."

I stepped closer to her, our bodies almost touching. She still had her eyes closed, a lost expression marring her features. I moved without thinking, acting on my instincts to comfort my mate. I buried my face in the side of her neck, reveling in her smell, her presence, the feel of her against me. I heard a small gasp come out of her, ignoring it as I wrapped my arms around her. Neither of us spoke as I held her, not being able to find my voice for several minutes.

My tail tightened around the woman's waist, caressing every few seconds. I held her to me, desperation making me hold her tighter than I probably should. She didn't protest though, just rested her hands on my upper arms, her fingers tightening around the muscles. I could feel her insecurity and hesitation through the bond, cupping the back of her neck and massaging gently. The tension that had been building in between her shoulders eased, and she finally relaxed in my arms.

"Vegeta," Athea whispered, her throat moving against my cheek. I nuzzled her skin, sucking in a breath. I grunted softly, keeping myself wrapped around her. Her hands moved in an unconscious gesture, one moving a little up my arm while the other clenched in my hair. I could tell she wasn't even aware of what she was doing, holding me closer to her even though she didn't know why. A small, almost inaudible purr started in my chest in satisfaction. Athea paused for a moment, before finally moving back. I sighed in disappointment, lifting my head to look at her.

I met her gaze, our faces only centimeters apart. Her vivid green eyes sucked me in, feeling like I was drowning in the woman's very presence. I blinked, slowly pulling back. It was very hard to do, feeling like I was pulling away from a part of myself.

I settled my hands on her waist, my tail still tightly wrapped around her, preventing her from escape.

"What?" I asked gruffly, my fingers tightening a little.

I pulled her against me as she opened her mouth, raising a brow as a deep flush appeared on her cheeks. It seemed like I couldn't get enough of touching the woman, and the flush that kept appearing on her face was amusing.

Athea studied me for a moment, before slowly leaning forward. She tentatively laid her forehead against my chest, her touch almost non-existent. She suddenly buried her face in my shirt, her hands clutching my arms.

"Vegeta," she began softly, her tone almost desperate, "please," she emphasized the word with the tightening of her fingers, "please tell me what's been going on."

She swallowed, the sound audible as she moved, lifting her face to meet my gaze. "I'm not stupid," Athea whispered, her breath fanning my mouth, the close proximity of her lips making my mouth water slightly. Her intense gaze flowed over me, and I could feel the slight fear coursing through her from the bond, the knowledge that yet something else has happened, causing her to lose precious time from her memories. Guilt settled in my chest, forcing me to close my eyes. Only this woman! She would be the only one that would cause such foreign emotions to be popping up. And the fact that I was the cause of her pain and fear only made it that much more intense.

"I know somethings happened between us that I can't remember," Athea whispered, her voice cracking from emotion. "Something," her voice was watery, "that caused my memories to be taken away. Yet again. Vegeta," Athea paused, and I felt her lips against my jaw. My eyes snapped open. My hands slid against her back, rubbing slowly in comfort. She trailed her lips against my skin, her breath fanning my neck as she spoke in my ear.

"Why won't you tell me?" She whispered, tugging gently on my shirt as if to coax the answers out of me. "I don't want to beg, especially to you," Athea confessed, pressing herself more firmly against me. "But if I have to, I will. I'm sick of being in the dark, always the one to know last. Always the one to be in a constant state of indecision. Not knowing if I'm doing the right thing, saying the right thing, knowing that, in the back of my mind, that something wasn't right."

I felt a muscle start ticking in my jaw, feeling my body respond to her nearness. The slight signals of wantonness she was displaying was distracting me, making it hard for me to think clearly. My brain shouted to just take what was mine, to answer those whispers of desire coming off the woman, even if she didn't realize it. I let out a small growl, my eyes closing on their own accord as I bent down, grazing my teeth against her neck. The saltiness of her skin coated my mouth, forcing a moan from my throat. I flicked my tongue against her, tasting her fully. I heard her sharp intake of breath, lifting her slightly, my mouth still firmly pressed against her. I laid her down on the bed, rubbing my lower half against her as I moved my mouth to the other side.

"Later," I rasped out, letting the need coursing through me to take over, getting lost in the very essence of the woman beneath me. I moved away slightly, tugging on the collar of my shirt and quickly yanking it off. I swooped back down, not giving the woman time to catch her breath as I captured her mouth in a searing kiss, dominating this moment. She was mine, and I wasn't as in control as I had been these past few months. Knowing she was right there at my fingertips, just beyond my reach. Not wanting to jeopardize the small accomplishments I had made to keep her near me. It wasn't enough. It was never enough.

The woman's scent enveloped me, the softness of her skin, the small breaths coming from her, everything about the woman was slowly overcoming my senses. She was everywhere, surrounding me in this moment. I reveled in it, not having such closeness with my mate in what seemed like years.

I ground my lips against hers, both of us breathing hard as I shifted above her, unbuttoning her shirt and spreading it open. I ran my mouth down her neck, the sweet little moan coming from her like music to my ears. I slowly ran my tongue against the top of her breasts, unclasping the front in the process. Her hands buried themselves in my hair, her fingers clenching around the strands as she bucked underneath me. I lifted up, drinking in the sight of her flushed face and heaving chest. My hands went to the waist band of her shorts, snapping them open. I felt myself tighten in response as her tongue flicked out, licking her lips.

The sound of the zipper being pulled down filled the room, the sexual tension between me and the woman almost searing in intensity. I bent down, roaming her features as I tugged the rest of her clothes off, grinding myself against her.

"Later," I whispered once more against her mouth, feeling her body quiver slightly as she wrapped herself around me.

I closed my eyes to the intense emotions swirling in my gut, taking immense pleasure in it as I finally sank into my woman, all thought of taking it slow flying out the window as I submerged myself in Athea's presence for the next several hours.

XXX

A/N: I'm not too sure about the last part of this chapter. It was very difficult for me to write. Don't know why. I guess I still have semi-writers block! LOL Hope you guys like this chapter regardless, and let me know if you would like more of Vegeta's POV. The updates are going to be slow going from now on, I'm sorry to say, but I will try my best to post as quickly as I can.

Happy reading!