For the reader:
Obrigado e todos se unirão no final!
10.5
At the funeral Steve remained toward the back, partially hidden behind a small stand of trees. He'd seen the initial accident – when Stykes had lost control, crashing into James – but by the time he'd registered what had happened he was a quarter mile down the track and shortly thereafter the race had been halted. He hadn't seen the collision with Fawcett – or the resulting violence when five, six, some say more riders from the following pack had run into the debris, themselves loosing control and a few colliding with the fallen drivers. Stykes was beaten, bruised and filled with splinters but would recover. Fawcett was rushed to the hospital with internal injuries, more broken bones than the docs could determine and crushed vertebrae. He'd probably never walk, and certainly wouldn't ride, again. There wasn't much anyone could do for James. He was gone before the ambulance arrived. Even though the race was suspended before an official checkered flag, Steve had 'won'. When the initial frontrunners had each stopped for fuel or oil or repairs and Steve had continued on, he'd maintained his laps while others fell behind. It was only hours later he learned that the flags he thought he'd seen from the officials, and the gesturing from James and Leo, were signals that he had finished in first place and could leave the track. Six laps before the accident – two miles – he didn't need to ride. He shouldn't have been on the track. He wouldn't have killed his best friend.
Blaming him for James' death, Uncle and Aunt wanted nothing to do with Steve and had prohibited Keri from any contact, making it clear that he was no longer, and would never again be, considered a part of their family. Keri, herself, was cloaked in grief, too distraught and angry to blame anyone but God and feeling guilty that her blame was focused on some unseen deity rather than the flesh and blood young man that everyone from track officials to the newspapers agreed, was more driven by ambition and set on winning a race than he was in thinking of his friend. Some even insinuated Steve had set up James, and any other riders in his way, for accident, to 'clear the path' for his success next race season. No one wanted to know about the dangerous track conditions or inexperienced riders who shouldn't have been allowed on the boards or that Steve would have rather seen himself killed, than James. The public was satisfied in knowing that James was dead and Fawcett an invalid while Steve had walked away; and that in itself makes him guilty. Steve didn't need to defend himself. From the beginning, looking deep into his motives and wishes and desires and soul; he knew the others were right and the fault was his.
"And so, we commend the body of James Tiernan back to the soil from whence it came. May God have mercy upon his soul."
As the crowd drifts past – with most of the Tiernan family in Ireland, the attendees are mainly fellow racers, track and F.A.M. representatives, and unexpectedly two soldiers in full dress uniform – Steve cautiously makes his way toward the burial site, wanting to pay respects to his friend but hesitant that anyone call attention to his presence. Cresting a small hill, only a few yards from the site, Steve sees only Uncle, Aunt and Keri at graveside; they had remained until the gravediggers began shoveling soil onto the casket and only then did they slowly depart. As Steve approaches, dazed by the past few days and uncertain of the future, Keri, now only steps ahead, hesitates as if to turn back. Her head curves to the left; Steve can see her profile and imagines her passionate, golden eyes. She pauses; wavers; then returns forward and continues on her way, leaving Steve with nothing but his own regrets.
"...Fellow Judges, you have seen the shadows of a man not driven by ego but blinded through negligence. Within his determination to prove himself a faithful friend and worthy man; to demonstrate his will against his father and those he perceived as lessening his path; he failed to recognize what forms a being is not his resolve, but his clarity. Despite opportunities to step beyond all he believed he knew, to achieve that which is greater, he failed to look beyond his own boundaries. Presented with moments of vision he nonetheless chose to confine himself only within what he believed he could control."
"Judge Aeacus considered for a moment, his hand resting on his chin. "Judge Minos, I see the remorse in his actions. But is he different than any other man, who as a whole stubbornly set themselves firmly upon quicksand and prefer to be swallowed than abandon their position? Would; could he have acted otherwise? Is he fated to be as selfish as all men..."
"And that is why all men, with few exception, are sentenced to the Asphodel Meadows!" Interjected Judge Rhadamanthys.
"...or does this man possess the ability to look beyond his pettiness and limitations to see a greater truth, a higher purpose? In looking into his actions, I admit, I do not yet see why he has been selected by the Olympians and delivered to us for judgment."
"I understand your hesitation, brothers. In this mans life I have found another opportunity he has been granted. Let us see if the actions he has chosen are predictable or unforeseen..."