A few weeks passed and Lilly fully recovered from her illness. She turned six months old on May 3rd and Lee and Rosie had started her on solid foods every morning and evening with milk to supplement in between (Rosie was quickly realizing her baby girl definitely had her Daddy's large appetite). She was starting to recognize her own name and was enjoying playing infant games like 'this little piggy' and 'itsy-bitsy spider'. Elizabeth was now twelve weeks along in her pregnancy and she was just starting to show her baby bump. Jack was mesmerized watching their child grow within her and all of Hope Valley had been thrilled for the expectant parents when the Thorntons had officially announced Elizabeth's pregnancy when she was ten weeks along.
Rosemary was, of course, thrilled for her dear friends. She knew how much they had both wanted a child and she knew they were going to be terrific parents (Jack had been the type of person where all of the children loved him, even when they were kids themselves). But there was also a part of Rosie that longed for that to be her again. The thrill of imagining whether the baby would be a boy or a girl, what the baby would look like, having hopes and dreams for it, designing it adorable outfits and painting a nursery….it really made her long for the days when she had first become a Mommy again.
Lee didn't fail to notice the changes in his wife. She wasn't really depressed, she wasn't really moody, and she wasn't exactly running around chasing every Hope Valley child either. But she was talking an awful lot about Lilly's early days of life, offering Elizabeth advice on how to deal with pregnancy (much to Elizabeth's chagrin sometimes), and going on and on about how great of a big sister Lilly would be once she got older. Lee was slightly confused with that admission, given the fact that all Lilly really enjoyed doing was playing peek-a-boo and giggling at faces. He thought maybe if he didn't bring up the idea of another baby long enough, Rosemary would forget about it, but he was wrong. Rosie was exhibiting symptoms of baby fever in her own little Rosie way. And he needed advice from an outside source.
It was a Saturday afternoon and Rosemary was next door helping Elizabeth design maternity wear along with giving Lilly some time with her Godmother, so Jack and Lee were at the saloon for a man's afternoon, "So how's everything going with Elizabeth's pregnancy?" asked Lee to Jack.
"Pretty good," Jack admitted, "The morning sickness is dissipating, we've told our families, Julie is absolutely thrilled to become an aunt again," said Jack and Lee chuckled, "We've started thinking about names and the nursery. We're both really excited. How's Lilly been?"
"Lilly's been fine. Eating like a champ, she's right on target with growth and development. It's Rosie I'm confused about," Lee admitted taking a sip of his drink. Jack nodded in understanding, "Hey, Jack, can I ask you a question?"
"Of course," Jack answered.
"When you and Rosie were engaged, did she ever give the slightest hint that she wanted children?" asked Lee.
"No," Jack answered quickly, "Anytime I brought up the subject of children, she would look at me like I had three heads," he chuckled.
"Yeah, that's how she first acted when we were doing our pre-marital counseling and the first few months of our marriage. For a while there, I just figured we were never going to have kids and after Lilly was born, that we were only going to have one child, but now…." Lee trailed off mid-sentence, "Rosie has been acting a little strange."
"More so than usual?" Jack joked.
"I'm being serious Jack," Lee held up his hand.
"Right, sorry," Jack apologized.
"She hasn't been running around volunteering to look after every child in town, not the way Elizabeth was offering to babysit Lilly every other day after she was born. I don't think she'll offer to watch baby Thornton much after he or she is born," Lee explained, "But lately a lot of the conversations in our house have been about how big Lilly is getting to be, which I don't understand, because Lilly will only be seven months old on June 3rd. She's been going through the photo albums with Lilly's pictures from when she was first born, she can't bear to donate the outfits that Lilly has outgrown, and you've been married for a few months now. You know us guys are…friskier in that manner, but not in our house lately."
"Really?" asked Jack, raising an eyebrow.
"Nope. It's been Rosie, I swear even more so than our honeymoon," Lee confirmed, "Don't get me wrong, I would love to have another baby, but I just don't know whether Rosie is thinking logically or emotionally. And quite frankly, I'm afraid to ask her."
"Well, you know as well as I do that when Rosie has her heart or her mind set on something, she'll do anything to get it," said Jack.
"I know," affirmed Lee, "And I'll never forget the feeling of seeing Lilly for the first time."
"Where did you stay until she was born?" asked Jack.
"Well, I stayed with Rosie the entire time," Lee admitted.
"Seriously?" asked Jack in surprise.
"I know it's not traditional, but Rosie didn't want me to leave her," said Lee.
"So you were there when Lilly came out?" asked Jack quietly.
"Well, I couldn't see everything from my position on the bed, but yeah, I was in the room when she was born," said Lee, "Jack, I know it's not the traditional setup, but watching Rosie bring Lilly into the world was one of the greatest moments of my life. It was amazing to watch how strong she could be and what a woman goes through when giving birth. It made me appreciate everything even more; to think about what my wife's body can do. I mean, I know Elizabeth isn't that far along, but you have to admit, it's something we'll never understand."
"I second that," admitted Jack.
"And spending time with Cody and watching Lilly grow…I don't know, maybe I do miss the days where Lilly could cuddle against my chest more easily. Maybe I do miss feeding her and singing her lullabies. Maybe I do miss when she was younger."
Jack laid a hand on Lee's shoulder and said, "Sounds like Rosie isn't the only Coulter who has baby fever."
"I think I need to have a serious discussion with Rosie," Lee admitted, "Another drink?"
"No, I have to get to my office and work on some reports," Jack stood and paid.
"Thanks for the talk, Jack," said Lee.
"That's what friends are for, Lee."
At the Thornton house, Elizabeth was having plenty of fun playing peek-a-boo and a few other games with Lillian, "She is getting so big," Elizabeth commented to Rosemary.
"Don't remind me," Rosemary thought, "Yeah, she is. I think she'll be crawling before the summer is out."
"Before you know it, Lilly will be walking. Won't you sweetheart?" Elizabeth cooed at Lilly, who was sitting in Rosie's lap. Lilly giggled in response.
Rosemary gave an uneasy nod, "So, how is your pregnancy progressing?"
"Well, the morning sickness is going away, thank goodness. That was one part of pregnancy I could have lived without most of the time," answered Elizabeth.
"But it wasn't that bad. Sure, I was throwing up half the time and so sick I could barely eat, but seriously, if I survived it once, I could survive it again," Rosemary said to herself, "Well, that's great to hear. But, just a warning, it will be replaced with new discomforts."
"Oh I know. I'm already starting to get the heartburn and ankle swelling. Jack is very helpful though. Always trying to make sure I'm comfortable."
"I had no doubt that Jack would be supportive," said Rosie, "Just like Lee will be if we have another baby."
Elizabeth glanced over at her friend, "Is something wrong, Rosemary?"
Rosemary shook her head, "No, just been feeling something lately and I can't quite put my finger on what it is."
"Well, what hurts or aches?" asked Elizabeth curiously.
"Oh, nothing hurts physically, if that's what you're asking. No, I just…" Rosemary stroked Lilly's blonde curls, "Every time I look at Lilly, I can't get over how fast she is growing! I play with her and feed her and the whole time, I'm trying to convince myself that pregnancy wasn't that bad, that childbirth wasn't that bad, even that postpartum depression wasn't that bad, and that was the worst feeling I've ever had in my life," rambled Rosie, "I've been…more demanding in the bedroom lately and usually Lee is the one who's more lively in that sense. And it feels out of my control. I just yearn to have another baby in my arms sometime soon."
"Rosie," Elizabeth grabbed her hand, "I think you're experiencing baby fever."
Rosemary scowled, "No, that can't be it. I have no desire to babysit every child in town. Seriously, I'm sure your baby will be adorable, but I'm sure I won't feel any overwhelming urge to hold it, just my own. I'm not offering to watch a baby every other day like you did after Lilly was born."
"Yes, that might all be true for you," interrupted Elizabeth, "But you're a mother now and you can picture your own babies. And that desire to have another baby, to add to your family, that's also baby fever," Elizabeth squeezed Rosie's hand, "Have you talked to Lee about how you feel?"
Rosemary sighed, "I mentioned it a while ago. I know he thinks I'm acting based on emotions. He told me to seriously think about it and to seriously consider certain aspects of adding another sticky, little Coulter to the family. But we haven't said anything about it since that night."
"Well, it sounds like you might need to talk about it some more," said Elizabeth.
"I'll talk to him tonight," Rosemary responded.
Later that night, after Lee and Rosie had put Lilly to bed, they both went downstairs, as Rosemary had said that she wanted to have an earnest conversation with Lee about something. The couple sat down on the settee and Lee grabbed Rosie's hand, "What did you want to talk about, sweetheart?"
Rosemary took a deep breath and began, "Lee, I know you are a little hesitant when I bring up this subject and I know you think I'm acting irrationally, but I've done a lot of thinking and soul-searching, and I've decided I really want to try for another baby."
Lee let the news sink in and then he stroked her cheek lovingly, "Are you sure?" he asked.
"I'm positive," she responded confidently.
"You were sick almost every day of your first trimester," he reminded her.
"I know," she said, "But it wasn't that bad."
Lee raised his eyebrows in surprise, but continued, "Childbirth was very painful and you'd have to go through it again if we had another baby."
"But it was worth it in the end," Rosie pleaded.
Honestly, how DID women forget so much about the discomforts of pregnancy and the pain of birth, "And you know your chance of postpartum depression increases with each pregnancy," Lee had a few tears in his eyes.
Rosemary nodded and swallowed thickly, "I know, and I AM scared about that happening again. But, with you by my side and with all of my friends by my side, if it happens again, I think I know how to handle it," her voice shook, "And we now have a professional who can help me if it comes down to that again."
"And do you think you have the patience to deal with two young children?" asked Lee, a slight quiver in his voice.
Rosemary sighed, "It would be an adjustment, but I never thought I'd have the patience to deal with one child and I'm learning. And knowing you're by my side helps me a lot. Sometimes I think to myself 'what would Lee do in this situation' when Lilly is testing my patience level," she admitted and Lee chuckled, "Listen, honey, I know I don't have any experiences with siblings. I don't even have cousins I see often. I only have seen them three times in my life: at Papa's retirement ceremony and then at Maman and Papa's funerals. I've never been to France and they rarely came to Quebec," she admitted, "But, after Maman and Papa passed away, I thought I had Jack, but then things didn't work out with him. I felt so alone in life. I mean I had a few acquaintances in New York, but no really close friends. Sometimes, I longed for a brother or sister to be able to share my life experiences, my joys, and my sorrows. I never felt like I had anyone until I moved to Hope Valley and especially once I met you. And the way you talk about Patrick gives me this sense of awe. I know you didn't get much time with him, but I want to be able to give Lilly that opportunity. The chance to be a big sister so she won't be alone once we're gone. Something I was never given and something that was robbed from you. I know you think I just want attention on me because Elizabeth is receiving a lot attention right now, like how I wanted to feel important again right after Jack and Elizabeth got married. But Elizabeth has nothing to do with my decision. I really do want to try for another baby. I mean we don't know when or if it'll happen. It could be this week, it could be next month, it could be next year, it might never happen. But I want to at least try."
Lee smiled and leaned in to kiss her, "Well, to be honest with you, I think I have baby fever too."
"You do?" asked Rosemary in surprise, "Why didn't you tell me?"
"Because I didn't want it to influence your decision. I didn't want you to have another baby just for me because you're the one who has to carry it. It's your body and your decision somewhat, I mean along with God's," he admitted, "But the time I've spent with Cody, hearing Jack talk about their new baby, and watching Lilly grow makes me want to have another sweet newborn snuggled in my arms. But, now that I know that you're sincere about the idea of another baby, that you've thought about everything involved with a second child, I'd say let's go for it."
"Oh Lee," Rosemary kissed her husband, "Thank you."
Lee raised his eyebrows, "I haven't done anything yet."
"You make me feel loved, you make me feel supported, you make me feel like I can be a good mother," she kissed him some more, "And you made me a mother in the first place."
"I love you Rosie, so much," Lee said into the kiss.
Rosemary leaned back and smiled, "Well, then maybe we should get started on sticky Coulter number two."