Chapter Thirty-Three

Are You Kidding Me?

"Don't walk away, don't walk away, oh, when the world is burning. Don't walk away, don't walk away, oh, when the heart is yearning..." ~ Poets of the Fall

"Everything will slip away. Shattered pieces will remain. When memories fade into emptiness. Only time will tell its tale. If it all has been in vain. I can't feel my senses. I just feel the cold..." ~ Within Temptation

"You always made sure, I'll never fall in love again. You're the pieces to my puzzle, you complete me so it seems. It was never my intention to smother you in my needs. The moral of the story, is I hope you understand. There' ain't another man that will love you like I can" ~ Anth

I packed my bag, stuffing all my dirty and clean clothes in to the bag, and zipped it shut. Neither Stefan nor Damon were talking to me. Stefan was mad at me, because I didn't confide in him the full extent of what my marriage to Jax would entail. And Damon was pretty pissed off because I was marrying Jax, period.

"So, you're planning on leaving in the middle of the night?" Damon asked leaning against the door frame. "Without so much as a goodbye?"

"I have a flight back home first thing tomorrow morning," I said putting the bag down on the floor. "It's clear that I should've never come back."

"It means a lot to my brother that you want him to give you away at your wedding."

"But you're both mad, because I'm deciding to become human."

"Stefan's not mad, he's just upset."

"And you?"

"I'm absolutely furious," Damon said with a hint of a smile. "But, you're right. I have no right to dictate your life anymore. Not that I ever had."

I stared at Damon, speechless. I had no idea who this person was. Who he was. Which I guess is how he's feeling. A lot has changed. We both have. I mean, I'm willing to give up my immortality for a mortal being, and Damon seems more humane and he's getting along with his brother. Well, sort of.

"I was going to say goodbye," I said still a little loss for words. "You bet your tiny little Keeper ass you will," he said jokingly.

I laughed unable to help myself. Our eyes locked and that same chemistry, the same desire passed through me. The sound of the front door opening and footsteps echoing through the house, pulled us out of our trance.

We both tore our gazes from each other and followed the footsteps.

"Stefan?" I called Damon following me.

"In here," Stefan called his voice coming from the living room.

We walked into the room finding Stefan pouring himself a drink. He was tense, his shoulders rigid. He gulped down the glass of whiskey and poured himself another.

"Stefan?" I asked, waiting, no dreading the worse.

"Werewolves," he said more to himself than anyone else in the room.

"Werewolves?" Damon said, doubt in his voice.

They both turned to look at me, questions in their eyes.

"What?" I asked. "Don't look at me. I don't know what they want."

Damon and Stefan exchanged worried looks. The idea of werewolves surprised them. Interesting. Of course they thought they were the only supernatural beings that existed. Typical vampires. Think they're the all knowing and powerful species. "So they're real?" Stefan blurted. "Yes," I said. "I thought you knew."

The front door opened and we all listened to the footsteps rushing towards the living room. "Did you tell them?" a girl asked from the hallway. It took a couple of seconds before she walked in. She walked into the living room and I gasped.

She looked just like Katherine. My mind told me that it was the Petrova doppelganger, but the fear I felt was as real as the Katherine look alike standing in front of me. She smiled, oblivious to my reaction, sticking out her hand.

"Hi, you must be Ava? I'm Elena," she greeted. I pulled myself together and shook her hand. "Hey," I said forcing a smile. Luckily for me I've had years of perfecting my fake smile, and Elena seemed happy enough. I stepped back and turned my attention back to Stefan and Damon. Both were mesmerized by Elena.

Damon looked at her the way he used to look at Katherine, pure love behind his haunted gaze. I watched in sorrow at the love that radiated off Damon. All for Elena. It knocked the wind out of me, my heart throbbing in my chest.

I know it was irrational, and that I was meant to be moving on but it hurt and I needed to get out. I couldn't handle it. "Unbelievable," I said shaking my head. I left the room literally feeling claustrophobic and nauseas. "I need some air," I said to no one in particular. I hurried out of the house, forcing myself to walk and not run. I wanted nothing more than to bolt out of the house, and never set foot in Mystic Falls again. Elena walks in and it's obvious that she had captivated both Stefan and Damon's heart. It just really pissed me off that after a few months in her presence Damon fell in love. He truly loved her!

After spending almost a century in my company sharing my bed and consuming my blood, Damon still couldn't bring himself to love me the way he loved Katherine and now Elena. I don't even know why it bothered me now.

I was engaged, and had a family in Charming. I shouldn't even care.

Wasn't I the one yesterday that made it clear that there was no future for me and Damon together. So, why was I so upset over the fact that Damon fell in love with a mortal girl. Who was I kidding? I couldn't stop loving Damon even when he left me for dead. So, how was I meant to stop myself from still loving him now?

I have to leave. I have to quit letting myself be pulled in by him. I just have to admit that Damon would never love me the way I deserve to be loved. He might regret what he's done eight years ago, but he was right. He could never love me.

I slammed the front door shut behind me, storming off towards the woods that surrounded the Salvatore Boarding House. Angry tears blurred my vision, threatening to spill down my cheeks. It was a mistake coming to Mystic Falls.

I really had to stop putting myself in these situations. I knew I shouldn't be this heartbroken. I mean, I had Jax right? Why was I so caught up on Damon and Elena? I sat down on a log wiping away a single tear that slipped down my cheek with the back of my hand. I heard a swoosh, a familiar presence appearing next to me. I looked up pushing my hair out of my face. I met Damon's gaze and took a deep breath. He had gorgeous eyes. And after all these years I still got lost in them.

"She's beautiful," I said getting up. Damon didn't say a word, watching me.

We stood in silence, my heart thumping in my chest.

I concentrated on the rustling of the leaves, each passing second making me more and more aware of the ball of fire that burned in the pit of my stomach.

"She's not Katherine," Damon said at last breaking the silence.

I nodded, ignoring the ball of fire spreading through my veins. Damon and I shouldn't be alone. It's too dangerous. "But you love her all the same."

I focused on those words, the effort it took to speak them drawing my mind away from the lust growing inside me to uncontrollable levels.

"I tolerate her," Damon answered in his usual nonchalant way, taking a step closer. We both knew he was lying to me and himself if he thought he didn't love the girl. The weight of the truth was almost too much to bear.

"Was there ever a time you thought you could love me?" I asked, unable to stop myself. I needed to know. If I was going to leave, I at least deserved to know the truth. Our eyes locked and I saw a glimpse of what I've always wanted.

"You're all I think off," Damon informed me, moving towards me.

I stood grounded, letting Damon come close and cup my cheek with his palm.

"That's not the same," I breathed. I closed my eyes breaking eye contact, trying to stop the tears. I took a step back all emotions gone. I had to leave Mystic Falls.

I have Jax and Abel to think of. I needed to be strong for them if no one else.

"What can I say to stop you from going through with this?" Damon asked.

I shook my head. "There's nothing left for us. There hasn't been in years."

I turned around and walked away. Damon reached out and grabbed my wrist, stopping me in my tracks. I inhaled sharply, his touch burning. He spun me around, shoved me against a tree and kissed me. It was a raw passionate kiss, animalistic in a sense, years of yearning driving the kiss. The kiss brought back all the feelings and memories that I've tried to run from for so long. I grabbed his hair, holding on, taking control of the kiss. His hands gripped my ass, his nails digging into my flesh. I wrapped my legs around his waist, deepening the kiss.

My conscience finally caught up to the situation, reminding me of the man and child waiting for me in Charming. In six months I'm meant to walk down the aisle.

If I wanted Jax to be faithful to me then he deserves my fidelity. I pulled away and detached myself from Damon. "I can't do this," I said pulling down my dress.

"I'm not going to risk losing Jax just to be your second choice again."

I stormed out of the woods feeling lost and hurt. The feelings very familiar.

How could I let this happen? I allowed myself the one thing I knew I should stay away from. "Ava!" Damon called after me. I ignored him, walking with purpose to the house. I should've never come to this godforsaken town.

"Stop running away," Damon yelled after me.

He was right behind me, his closeness overwhelming. I stopped and turned around, facing the one person that haunted my dreams and tore my soul to shreds.

Damon towered over me intimidating me a little. My anger overpowered my fear.

"No!" I said heatedly. "You ran away!" I jabbed him in the chest with my finger. "You left me broken and alone. I was a goddamn mess after you left me!" I pushed him, my anger taking control of my body. The sudden change in my mood caught Damon off guard and he stumbled a step back. "So, you have no right to stand here and tell me that I'm the one running away," I said. "I had finally put my life back together and picked up the pieces you left." My whole body shook with anger and tears welled up behind my eyes. I was not going to cry.

I have cried enough for Damon. He was not worth another tear. I turned around stomping off towards the house. My heart was breaking all over again, and there was nothing I could do about it. Damon was wedged inside my heart deeper than any cuts he made along the way. He was a part of me whether I liked it or not.

I couldn't stop myself from falling in love with Damon, but I could stop myself from going down this destructive path again. I got to the house and charged inside slamming the door behind me. I ran to my room, grabbed my already packed bag, and left the Salvatore Boarding House, running from everything that I was, and everything that I didn't want to become. I did what I knew I had to. I left behind my past.