CHAPTER 36

"You can't leave. It will destroy Gustave, and he's already lost so much."

"He's a strong boy, he'll be fine, and he has you." Lisa's voice was biting, and Erik grimaced at the tone. She sounded like a stranger.

"No it's not enough. He needs you. How can you hurt him so selfishly?"

"I am not his mother, just a friend who will pass into memory." Anger was seeping into her words. Somehow it relieved him to finally elicit some kind of emotion from her. It proved that even if she felt nothing for him, she still cared for the boy. If there was a chance of keeping her here, it was because of Gustave.

"No, you can't go. It was you who approached him that day on the street and invited him into your home. You offered him understanding and friendship, now you deny him out of fear and self-centeredness. You're like all women, petty and pandering about your own feelings while dismissing that of others." She turned to him with burning eyes, making the green irises dance with fury.

"How dare you? You don't know me and what I've endured."

"You think I don't know pain. I've dealt with more pain than you could imagine woman. I've been rejected and shunned by first my mother and then the entire world. Beaten and abused since before I could speak." Erik screamed down at her, barely repressing his anger and the desire to shake her. Lisa softened somewhat at his words, and the horror that they conveyed, but she didn't back down from him.

"Yes Erik, you've been through unspeakable torment, but that doesn't make you an expert on my pain; just as you'll never know the horrors of rape or the pain of losing a child." Lisa took a stood up, teetering under the weight of her words. Her voice was like a raspy whisper when she spoke again and her eyes looked out as if seeing shadows.

"The same men that murdered my husband took from me everything I had, and the trauma killed my unborn child. I was unconscious thank god. I'd been weeping over Charles. The guard didn't like it and planted the butt of his rifle in my head." Tears erupted and ran down Lisa's cheeks as she spoke.

"There was so much blood when I awoke, and so much pain. My clothes had been ripped off and I was so cold. Mother held me, but I could hear Kara screaming. Apparently when I'd miscarried due to their assault, it had put off the soldiers. Kara then took my place. I didn't have to watch like mother did. I was next to Charles and ready to die with my baby, but I didn't. I promised him that never again would any man touch me. I promised myself that I'd never give in to that kind of pain again. Oh God, I should have died."

Lisa squeezed her eyes shut and wrapped her hands around herself tightly, trying as hard as she could to escape the memories. Suddenly she snapped back to awareness and shot a piercing look at Erik. She advanced on him as her words evoked such pain and anger that he actually retreated.

"Do you realize what it meant to me to be in your bed after that? DO YOU?" Lisa was gasping, as if she was drowning. She wanted to beat his chest with her fists, but instead crumpled to the floor. He wasn't to blame and she held no ill will against him, quite the contrary. Her hands scratched at the rug like she was trying to find air.

Erik didn't know how to react. He'd never had to deal with the depth of suffering she'd confessed to him, a torment that rivaled his own. He lowered himself to his knees in front of her, collected her hands from the floor and brought them to his chest to try and urge her to look at him. She fought against him, but her resistance was weak. When her eyes found his there were no walls or boundaries that hid her soul. Her voice was small as she struggled to speak.

"I have to go Erik; I can't stay in this place, this city any longer. It's haunted by too many ghosts. It closes in on me, suffocating me, draining the life from my soul. The weight of so many memories is crushing my spirit. If I stay here much longer there won't be anything left worth saving. I want to live again, to feel life thudding through my veins, but I can't find the will to here."

"Do you think the ghosts won't follow you? Can't Gustav's friendship and mine be enough?" Lisa squeezed her eyes against the tears that flowed and buried her face against Erik's lapel. They stayed there for a long tine as a heap of anguish. In time her sobs subsided and her breathing steadied. Taking the opportunity, Erik retrieved a handkerchief from his pocket and dabbed at her eyes. Lisa straightened a bit and took the cloth to properly dry her eyes and running nose while still resting the side of her head against him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he whispered as cautiously as he could.

"I wanted to leave the hurt behind, hoping that I could forget and I would be free, like it never happened." She chuckled at her own idiocy, a strange and unnatural sound in light of the situation. Her face hurt, her chest hurt, and inhaling stung her throat.

The entire world seemed like a grey, lifeless, soundless plane, except for the man who held her. He seemed to be brighter even in his somber black suit. She wanted to drink his energy, having so little left of her own. He was strong, so much stronger than he gave himself credit for, and if she could only borrow some of his strength maybe she could overcome the emptiness inside.

Lisa found the courage to look into his eyes, though she feared the disgust and recrimination used women like her often saw when people knew their shame. Instead, there was compassion and kindness in his gaze. How could he think himself so devoid of humanity as not to possess its most precious attributes, or not to be deserving of them?

Yes he'd murdered and been a slave to the evil within every man, but he'd never lost the love so many others forsook in their struggle. His love for Christine and for his son was alive inside him, and something more that was for her, albeit small. She felt grateful to have been gifted it, if only for a moment, and she wanted to remember what it tasted like forever more.

To Erik's surprise, Lisa lifted her lips to his. It was like a dying person reaching up to relish the last beats of life before the living world fell away. He couldn't resist it, and supplicated to her demanding onslaught. But when she reached for the edges of his mask he instinctively grabbed her wrist. They stood at an impasse. Lisa had showed Erik the ugliness she'd fought so hard to hide, could he do the same?

"I already know what you hide beneath this mask Erik." She admitted.

Erik's brow furrowed with disbelief as his eyes questioned her, "How?"

Leaving his embrace for only a moment, Lisa extended her arm to pull the box on the floor towards her. She rummaged through the documents it contained for a few seconds before finding her target, a stiff piece of parchment she handed to Erik. His eyes, wide before became like saucers as he perused the sheet. It was a sketch of him, without his mask and painstakingly accurate in the depiction of his deformity. Unaware he raised his right hand to touch that place he hated so much.

He wanted to feel violated, to feel embarrassed and ashamed like he always had when exposed. But the image was beautiful in a way he'd never imagined possible. There were very few people on this earth that could make the Phantom go speechless, but Lisa had risen to those ranks on his fist meeting with her and continued to attack his sensibilities in new ways. Tearing his eyes away from the image he looked at her, confounded as to how this was possible. He neither realized nor cared for the tears that had escaped his eyes.

"I'm an artist Erik, and I can use more than my eyes to see the world." She again extended her hand to the edges of his mask, but he made no move to stop her this time. Even the sudden touch of unfamiliar air on his twisted skin didn't cause him to reel as he always had when unmasked. Erik didn't know what to expect, but somehow he wasn't afraid. He felt something akin to anticipation as he watched all of the subtle changes to her expression as she examined him.

Lisa's face was only inches from his as her eyes scrutinized the odd contours of his visage, taking in the hidden details only close study could reveal. Then she kissed him, the same horrid flesh, her lips blessing the crooked angles of tissue that bulged and dipped unnaturally over his skull. He hadn't realized he'd been holding his breath, but when his lungs began to burn he had no choice but to fill them.

"This is you Erik, and only you. It is its own kind of masterpiece and you are the canvas. Most people are too wrapped up in hiding their own ugliness to recognize how beautiful someone like you is, inside and outside. I'm sorry Erik, on behalf of every person that mistakenly saw a monster instead of an angel." She kissed his lips again, and he wrapped his arms around her as they each took and received from the other.

"Make love to me Erik, please. Now in the light, I want to see you, all of you." She was afraid he'd refuse her when a glimpse of trepidation shown in his features and he fought the fight or flight instinct that had become his nature by need and circumstance. Making his decision he kissed her and gently pushed her to lie back on the carpet in front of the hearth. It all moved as slowly as molasses in January, as if time had ceased to affect them.

Erik slipped off his coat, undid the buttons of his vest, discarding it and the neck tie as well, leaving just his white starched shirt. He hesitated a moment, then pulled it from his trousers and over his head. He stopped while Lisa looked him over, taking in every scar that the lash, fire and other torture implements had left. She then rolled over to offer him the buttons of her dress. His fingers shook only slightly as he undressed her, peeling away all the constricting layers women wore and even removing the numerous pins that held up her curls. He placed everything in a neat pile with his own clothing, and took a small cushion from the nearby couch to support her head.

How was this happening? How could it be that they'd found each other, in spite of all the obstacles that would have kept them apart, especially their own fear and prejudices? Perhaps there were real angels urging and guiding both their lives to intersect. He knew he had one such angel that looked down from an unseen heaven, and perhaps she was trying to give him a taste of the Eden that she now inhabited. The idea gave him chills as much as the soft hands that were now tracing the lines of scars on his belly.

Lisa wanted to take everything she could from him. She knew it was selfish, but the depth of her pain allowed only the heat of her need to surface. She found the button of his pants, released it and the fastener. She pulled it as far down his hips as she could while sitting on the ground, then she reached in to touch his hardness. He grunted as she found him and drew out his length, stroking him lightly from base to tip before lowering her mouth to kiss the head and length. His inexperienced mind didn't have time to register what exactly she meant to do and stop her.

When he felt the warm wet heat of her mouth descend onto him he gasped and moaned. Erik threw his head back, grabbing the arm of the couch for support as she consumed him. Achingly slow she retracted her lips almost to his tip before taking him in again. The atmosphere around them seemed to oscillate in time with her movements.

Finally gaining enough control over himself he cupped Lisa's chin and urged her to relinquish his throbbing cock, then pushed her back onto the carpet. Erik was never one to concede mastery of any art to another. Two could play at this game, and quickly devising a plan of action he bent forward to kiss her mouth with such passion that she shook and whimpered when he moved to nibble down her chin and neck. His mouth found the breast he'd been caressing with his palm and laved the dark nipples in turn before suckling.

Erik settled on the rug next to her, pulling her flush against his side so that his erection pressed firmly into her hip. He entwined his legs with hers, pressing the thickest part of his thigh to her sex. Erik used his one free hand to fill his palm with Lisa's buttock. He massaged the flesh while moving her hips to grind slowly into the muscle of his leg.

Lisa was shocked at how quickly and intensely her yearning was building. When her excitement had reached the point where she was writhing to try and get closer to him he shifted position and moved down her body, leaving a trail of kisses and hot huffs across her smooth abdomen, making Lisa shutter.

His fingers never left her skin. While his mouth brought goose pimples to bloom all over, his hands sought to smooth them away. He stroked down her arms and flank, than rested on her hips before continuing down her thighs.

Erik pushed her legs gently to the sides while he knelt between them, looking down fixedly at her sex while he petted the tender flesh of her inner thighs. The plump lips of her secret mouth shimmered with moisture in the firelight, making Erik's mouth water with the thought of his intent.

He started with his thumbs, brushing them over the light tuft of hair masking her groin. Lisa couldn't hold back the need to rock forward and gain more contact with the fingers giving her such pleasure. When he started to push the petals of her flower apart to start fingering her labia, she arched her back and panted loudly.

She was so riveted by his seeking digits that she didn't register when he again shifted position onto his stomach. When Lisa felt his breath kiss her sex, she realized he meant to match her actions.

"Erik you don't have… oh my god." Was the last cognizant thought she could express as he kissed her secret lips. He lapped at her juices and inhaled her perfume deeply as he devoured her. She couldn't help the way she rotated her hips to meet the bombardment of his mouth. He knew what to do; somehow he knew everything she needed. Erik even cupped each cheek of her buttocks to hold her to him like a bowl of nectar.

Lisa could feel the tight coil of her impending climax and she tried to speak so as to beg him to take her but it came out as an inhuman grunt. He apparently got the picture and dislodged himself to move back up her body. He tried to make his ascent slow, but Lisa was tugging on his shoulders so urgently that he nearly dived into her. It was all she needed for the bubble of need inside her to burst in a million colors of starlight, and she screamed like a dying animal as even her fingers and toes curled. If asked she'd claim to have felt the strength of that release even in the tendrils of her hair.

Erik stopped, scared to death he'd harmed her, but only one look at the pure elation on her face told him that it was a good sign. His thudding into her kept the waves of her orgasm cresting over and over. She feared there was something wrong with her and wondered in the back of her mind if she was dying at long last from the unearthly power of love. Because she did love him, realizations that brought new tears to pool in her eyes and made her ravenously hungry to have him spill himself inside of her. When he did, moaning loudly enough to match her own cries she almost sang out her joy of it. He collapsed heavily atop her, and for a moment she thought he might have lost consciousness.

Erik found it difficult to return to reality. His climax had been violent in its intensity and he barely had the strength to roll off of Lisa. His face and body were so slick with sweat he felt the beads of it roll down his neck and torso. It was like the flames of the hearth had reached out and set them ablaze.

The only sound now was the raspy breathing of the lovers and the crackle of the diminishing fire. When he was finally able to gather enough fortitude to open his eyes he turned to look at Lisa. Her wide eyes were already staring at him. In their depths there he saw a new fire that shocked him. He pulled her to him and she settled comfortably against him.

"Thank you." She whispered against his neck.

"For what?" he barely managed to say.

"For everything." she snuggled as closely against him as she could; encasing him in her embrace as he did her in his.