Chapter 34

Hermione Granger focused on many things while she was in school. She focused on making sure she was always at least a month ahead in all her courses, on making sure that all her essays were usually a foot or so longer than the required limit, on making sure she kept Harry and Ron out of whatever trouble they were finding, and on trying to fit into a world that she was all but thrown into.

At any given moment, she was always focusing on many different, and usually academic inclined matters. So it was safe to say that she rarely noticed boys.

Sure, she was aware they existed, and that others her age dated. And she was very much smitten with Viktor Krum when he began courting her in her fourth year. She also was very much jealous of the relationship between Ron and Lavender while in sixth year. She wasn't utterly opposed to the idea of romance and dating, it just never had been a priority to her before.

And now, with memories of wars, a past life, and a mission she couldn't fail, it was hardly as if dating anyone was a priority. She knew in the future she could always choose to date, get married, and have a life here, but it didn't matter right now. How could it when Voldemort was on the rise, creating chaos in his wake.

It didn't seem to stop the rest of the school from finding love. What with Lily and Amos dating, James lusting after her, Remus being forced on date after date, and Sirius taking up a mantle as a ladies' man. Or at least as much of a ladies' man one could be at fifteen years old. He flirted with a different girl every week, took a different girl to Hogsmeade every trip, and spent many nights with girls in empty classrooms, under the Quidditch stands, or in broom closets. And while she many not necessary approve of the behaviour, she hardly was going to stop him. He was young, and happy, something which he very much deserved given the twist of fate he was given in the past timeline. Maybe this time he would get a chance to be happy, be it in a relationship or marriage, or just focusing on his own happiness by living a bachelors' life. Either way, he deserved to make that choice and not be thrown into a prison for the better part of his early adult years for a crime he never committed.

But out of all girls Sirius had flirted with, he had never attempted to flirt with her. And she didn't feel bad about it, she knew he would never try anything with his best friend's little sister. Let alone the fact that he cared about her as a sibling as well. So it was no surprise to her really, for she knew neither of them wanted to be with the other in a romantic sense.

So when Sirius sat down beside her on the grounds of Hogwarts where she and all the boys were sitting, and wrapped an arm around her, she couldn't help but roll her eyes.

"If it isn't my favourite girl," he said, smiling at her.

"If it isn't my favourite Black," she teased back, and Regulus looked affronted at that.

"Only Black?" Sirius asked, pouting slightly, "Not favourite bloke?"

"I think James won that title years ago," she laughed, "Sorry."

"I suppose I can concede that," Sirius said dramatically, "As long as you admit I'm your favourite non-related friend."

"You're technically my cousin," she pointed out, "Draco is less related to me than you are."

"Well Blacks are known for intermarrying," he said, wiggling his brows and she broke out into a laugh.

"Stop flirting with my sister, Sirius," James said, looking irritated, "She's not one of your girls that you snog under the stairs."

She was too busy smiling at her friend and brother's ridiculousness to notice the look of annoyance on Draco's face throughout the entire ordeal, clearly just annoyed at Sirius.

"Don't worry, Jamie," Hermione rolled her eyes. "Sirius isn't my type anyway."

James looked even more startled at that, "Why do you have a type? Why are you even paying attention to boys at all? Aren't you far too young for this?"

"Plus he's older than you," Draco argued, "He shouldn't be flirting with you anyways. Not when you're a year younger than him and such."

She sighed at her brother and at Draco, "You both are ridiculous. Completely and utterly ridiculous. I do notice blokes you know."

"Well…don't," James said, looking irate, "Boys are the worst. They take up all your time, demand all your attention, and want nothing good. You're far better than any guy, Hermione! Don't waste your time dating."

She kissed her brother on the cheek just then, "Don't worry, James. I'm not interested in dating anyone right now. I have other priorities. Besides we both know that Sirius would never actually consider dating me nor would I consider dating him. We're too much like siblings."

"Why waste time on boys when you can get years ahead studying, right Hermione?" Remus teased her, and she blushed slightly at that.

James looked appeased by that, she laughed as he nodded in agreement, "Yes do that! See look at Lily for example. She used to put in so much work and effort into her school work, and now she's distracted all the time by Diggory. Boys are no good, I tell you. You're far better without dating anyone, Hermione. They just weigh you down."

"Says the boy who spends all his free time trying to woo Lily still," she retorted.

He nodded sagely at that, "Think about all the pranks I could be planning instead. Romance is a waste of time, and I stand by that point."

"Say what you will Mate," Sirius rolled his eyes, "It may be a waste of time but it's bloody well fun to sneak around with girls."

She laughed simply at that, "You're all utterly ridiculous."

"And you love us anyways," Regulus grinned and she simply shook her head in agreement.

Peter sat in his dorm room as he watched Remus leave the room looking pale and exhausted. Despite going through monthly transformations, he knew it still strained him to undergo the process.

When he had first found out that his friend was a werewolf, he hadn't responded immediately. Not like James and Sirius who had all but tackled Remus with emotional support, insisting that they didn't care and that they loved him regardless of it. He hadn't been as quick to respond and let his friend know that he didn't care, because frankly it was a little terrifying. He knew Remus was a good person; hell he was one of the first to be kind to Peter.

But being a werewolf was different. It was horrifying to think that he could turn into a beast each month, who wasn't in its right mind and if something went wrong, Remus could maul half the school. Of course he knew it would never be allowed to happen. Dumbledore probably would make sure of it.

And he cared about Remus. How could he not? The boy, Sirius, and James were his best friends. Even if sometimes he felt like a bit of an outsider on their friendship. He hated watching his friend grow ill each month leading up to the full moon, and go through the transformation, then spend several days in the hospital wing afterwards recuperating from the process.

"I hate this," James sighed as they watched Remus go. "I hate feeling so powerless each month as he's out there, all alone."

"Me too," Sirius said, looking upset. "It's hard watching him go through it all alone."

"Especially after," James said, "He always talks far less the day after, as if he's afraid he'll turn back at any moment and needs to distance himself from us."

"You can see how clearly he tries to hide all of his pain," Sirius mentioned, "As if we cannot see that it's killing him inside to go through it all on his own."

"He hates having to depend on us," James sighed again, "As if he feels like he's burden. I don't know why he would think that he is. He didn't choose this! He didn't ask for this to be his life. He was forced into it! Why would we push him away or choose to shun him for something he very much did not have control of?"

"Because he's an idiot," Sirius said frustrated, "He doesn't judge us for anything, even when we deserve it. Why would we push him away or make him feel any worse for such a thing. He needs to get his head out of his arse.

"I just wish we could join him," James said, looking around the room. "Then he wouldn't have to be alone anymore. Then at least he would know he had people who cared about him enough to make sure he was okay. Merlin knows he deserves to know that he's loved and cared for regardless of his furry little problem."

"I hate that his father puts him through a cage every month when he's at home," Peter said for the first time since the conversation had started.

"It's inhumane!" Sirius breathed angrily, "How anyone could do that to their child, I'll never understand. Not that my parents are the epitome of good parenting."

"How far are we?" James asked, as he pulled out the library book they had been borrowing for the better part of the last two years.

"We need to try drinking the potion during a thunderstorm again," Sirius said looking at their notes, "Merlin knows we've had a lot of disasters along the way. I can't believe you swallowed the leaf the first time the day before we were supposed to remove it!"

"I couldn't help it!" James defended. "It got unstuck to my mouth and I was chewing a steak! I didn't do it on purpose. Besides, you're the one who accidently got a dew of water that had seen sunlight and ruined our potion last time."

"Yeah well this whole becoming animagi thing is rather hard," Sirius said with a roll of his eyes. "I mean even full-grown witches and wizards make mistakes doing it."

"And yet we're doing it anyways," Peter said, extremely proud, "Despite the fact that it's ridiculously hard."

"Well it's really the only way we can help Remus," James said with a sigh, "Merlin knows we would have started trying sooner if we weren't sure we would have messed up right away if we didn't at least try and do research it a bit."

"For once," Sirius amended, "It's fine to do poorly in school. But I don't want to end up some sort of hybrid if we do this wrong."

"We're nearly there," James said determinedly, "We'll get it right this time; I'm sure of that. We'll get it right and we'll manage to become animagi so we can be with Remus during his transformations so he doesn't have to go through it alone. Merlin knows he deserves far better than that. He deserves to know that he's cared about. And I'll spell it into his head if that's what it takes for him to finally believe us."

Peter felt proud of all of them as they tried, month after month, to become animagi. It was a big deal, and not many were able to successfully accomplish it. If they could, it would be huge, and would mean Peter would be able to do something not many others could. Still, he couldn't help but wonder what it would be like if the situation was reversed. If Peter was the one who went through monthly transformations, would the boys still put in effort to transform into animagi for him? Or would they let him suffer on his own?

Hermione Granger had hated Petunia Dursley from the moment she became friends with Harry. The boy hadn't exactly opened up often to her, but it was the small things he would say which would get her to think that something was very, very wrong with the way she was treating his nephew. The fact that he would get used clothes, or small muggle change for Christmas. Or be forced on diets because her son was overweight when clearly Harry was very malnutritional himself. Or the fact that he seemed over eager for any sort of parental figure in his life. That he felt the loss of a parent for the first time when Sirius had died, whom he had loved far more than his aunt and uncle.

She had a lot to say on his upbringing, and it broke her heart that her friend was even in such a situation in the first place. He didn't deserve to be sitting there, constantly wondering if he would be in trouble for something he did, to have him offer to do things for them out of love. For while she looked out for the boys in maternal nature, she knew Harry looked after them the same way, wanting to make sure that they were all okay. He was the first to comfort her when she was upset about something, even if he thought he had to pick sides between her and Ron during fights in their earlier Hogwarts years. And thankfully in their older years he learned to stay out of it and she never had to worry about losing him as a friend. He grew out of most of the things his Aunt and Uncle had to instill in him, but he still had a hard time asking for things he truly wanted. He was careful with his money, as if he was certain at any time he would have it taken away from him, only using it for necessities and small indulgences. He barely even bought any clothes for himself that weren't required for school.

And she knew his aunt had contributed a lot to his pain. While his uncle might have been responsible for instilling the need to fit in into him, his aunt was his blood relation. The one who should have told him about his mother, even if not his father. Who should have told him at least about his maternal grandparents. Who should have let him know he had family who loved him. Instead, he was treated like an unwanted set of help around the house, and never felt like he had a true place of belonging. He only even got a bedroom because his letters from Hogwarts were addressed to the boy under the stairs.

So it wasn't a surprise to her to learn that Lily and Petunia Evans did not have a good relationship either. Lily never talked about it, not explicitly, but she knew from the subtle glances she and Severus shot each other when James was overprotective of Hermione, or Regulus gave Sirius a look of pride at something he did. The bond of a sibling relationship which Hermione too had craved so badly while she was in school. She loved her parents, but she would give anything to have a family member who understood what she was going through.

It was why when she heard soft sobbing in an alcove near the Gryffindor common room, she stopped, knowing instantly who it was.

"Lily?" Hermione asked softly, as she moved towards where the sounds were coming from. "Is everything alright?"

She saw Lily sitting there, quickly wiping away her tears as she tried to smile at her, "I'm fine," she said, with a watery smile.

She sat down beside her friend, "You can talk to me, you know," she said gently, "Whatever it is that it troubling you, I don't mind listening to you."

Lily was silent for a moment before speaking, "I have an older sister, Petunia," Lily said, "I'm sure you knew that. She's a muggle through, so she's not here at school with me. We were close, once upon a time. I used to look up to her so much; she was the best big sister I ever could have asked for. She took care of me while our parents were busy, nursed any scrapes or cuts I got, always snuck me a cookie from the jar I was too tiny to reach. She was amazing, and I wanted nothing more than to be like her. Then I started displaying accidental magic."

Hermione didn't say a word. She had heard of Petunia's relationship with Lily in the past timeline from others, as had Harry, but had never heard the raw pain in her voice.

"She thought it was amazing at first, and we'd play around for hours, as I would try and do things like make flowers float or make myself fly. It wasn't until I met Sev that he told me that I was a witch. And that wouldn't have been a big deal, but he also told Petunia that she's a muggle. And while it's not my place to tell you about Severus' life, he doesn't have the best relationship with his muggle family. So for him, he thought Petunia would hate me for being special, so he was harsher to her than necessary. It was the first time she called me a freak," Lily said, tears streaming down her face once more.

"It's only gotten worse over the years," Lily continued, "I thought we'd be able to work past it one day, but her insults got colder, and well now-"

She broke out into sobs as she handed Hermione the letter.

Lily,

Do not continue to write to me. I do not need my friends asking questions about why owls are at our house constantly or why your letter looks like it is from the medieval times. I have nothing to say to you, nor do I want to.

Petunia

Hermione was left speechless at the impersonal nature of the letter. Even from Petunia, the girl's older sister, it was cold.

"I'm sorry," Hermione said softly, "I can't even imagine what it must be like for you."

"Despite all my faults with your brother, I can't deny that he loves you with his entire heart," Lily said softly, "I just wish my sister could care about me the same way."

She squeezed Lily's hand gently. "Sometimes family isn't those who share the same blood as us. Sometimes it's those we surround ourselves with, who love us at our lowest and at our highest. If Petunia cannot see what an amazing sister you are, she doesn't deserve you in her life. And for what it's worth, I consider you to be family to me. The big sister I never had."

Lily gave her a grateful smile, as she pulled Hermione into a tight hug.

"Where did you come from, Hermione Potter," Lily said in wonder, "You come into my life all those years ago, and all of a sudden I'm left with so many friends and those who I know care about me. All because you wanted to study with me."

"You were my first friend at school," Hermione told her softly, "The first friend who didn't just want to protect me because they were friends with my brother. I love the boys and I consider them friends, but you were the first to be kind to me. And I just want you to remember that regardless of what happens in life, I'll always be here for you."

Lily looked at her gratefully, and Hermione held onto the girl as they sat there. Petunia might never come around to thinking of Lily differently, but at least Lily would have family despite her.

Severus Snape had heard the whispers for months. Of a Dark Lord who would save them all from hiding in the shadows. How once he walked in the light, none of them would ever need to hide ever again. None of them would ever have to hide how they felt ever again about the desires to keep themselves pure.

He knew in the old days, it hadn't been like this. Slytherins were allowed to speak their minds and mention how they felt about certain matters. Then Grindelwald had come along, with similar beliefs, but had massacred the masses. The Dumbledore emerged victorious from their duel. And all of a sudden, it became taboo to speak the truth. It became taboo to talk about how one felt. The world went from being a balance between light and dark magic, to having dark magic rampaging, then light reigning. The balance in beliefs were gone, and Dumbledore to blame.

Then came along a wizard who promised that they wouldn't have to hide their true feelings anymore. That they'd be able to proudly speak their minds on how they felt without fear of persecution or judgement.

The whispers of this man got louder and louder. How he was the heir of Slytherin, and how he would turn the world over on itself. How they'd never have to hide in the shadows ever again from the muggles.

And Severus Snape hated his father with a passion. The man was an abusive drunk. But he was not the same as all muggles. And to kill them all in the masses because he hated his father was wrong.

It was no surprise when he found himself dragged into a corridor that was abandoned after classes one day. He had been expecting it to happen for months, and it finally had.

It wasn't a surprise that it was Nott and Avery who had pulled him into the hallway.

"Can I help you?" he drawled at them, hiding the nervousness he felt, and both boys ignored him.

"You must have heard the rumours, Severus," Nott said as he peered down at the boy, "Of a Dark Lord rising in the shadows over the past few years. Making promises of saving the world from the horrors we have faced time and time again. To make our world pure again."

"And if I have?" Severus simply raised a brow at him, "What difference does it make?"

"You're a smart boy," Avery said, "Nearly the top of your year. Your Potions skills are extraordinary. And I know you excel at Defense, so I can imagine what you could do with actual Dark magic. And you're certainly skilled at all your other courses. We could use someone like you in our ranks, fighting for what we believe in, and what is right."

He didn't comment on the fact that both boys were speaking as if they were already recruited for the supposed Dark Lord.

"And what if I'm not interested?" Severus raised a brow.

"You should be," Avery moved closer to him, "There's a war coming. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but soon. You'll need to pick a side in it, Snape. And you most definitely are not a light wizard. You run around with mudbloods and blood traitors, and it will not be tolerated for much longer. You'll need to pick a side once and for all."

"I know exactly where I stand in it all," Severus said, standing taller, "And I'm perfectly fine where I am."

"You should reconsider," Nott said, as he appraised him, "You could be offered so much if you think this through properly. You'd be introduced to all the right families who could offer you connections that you couldn't even imagine. You could get any apprenticeship you wanted, work anywhere you wanted. And despite your mother's family name, you do not have her connections. Not without claiming your Prince heritage. Don't you deserve the same chances of success as Potter and Black who've never had to work for anything in their entire life? You, who deserve it far more than they do?"

He didn't say anything at that. How could he when they were right? The wizarding world still relied on familial magic and connections, neither of which he possessed. And with the right connections he'd be able to succeed beyond his wildest dreams.