(I may have ridden the struggle bus with this one a bit and avoided touching it. Then when I got ready to touch it my computer started to update itself. Anyway, after several forced sit downs over the span of a few days this is what came to be. Thanks for reading and reviewing! Btw, I think my TWD withdrawals started kicking in today. I'm ready for October! Crossing my fingers our favorites are both still alive and counting down the days/weeks/months.)
If Daryl only knew one thing for sure when he got from work that evening, it was that Carol wasn't happy. Not in the least. And he was pretty sure she hadn't been since last night when Rick first brought up his idea about going out and picking up girls and dragging Daryl along with him.
She'd barely touched any of the pizza that Rick brought home, despite saying she'd been starving when they first walked through the door that evening. She'd only ended up eating one piece of it. And he was almost sure she'd spent more time picking at it and staring at than she had actually eating it. Both he and Rick had asked her if she was okay. She'd told them both she wasn't feeling well all of a sudden and that she couldn't stomach much tonight. She excused herself after she finally finished that piece and said she was going to get a shower and call it an early night.
Rick seemed to accept her answer and went on about his business. Daryl didn't believe her, though. She had a certain look in her eyes, a certain tone in her voice, one that told him something was off. He'd tried to go check on her later. He knocked on her door, but she didn't say anything back. When he finally got into his own bed that night he'd even decided to text her and see if she was up, but she hadn't responded.
The next morning he asked her if she was alright the first chance he got. She'd told him she was and that she saw his message this morning. That she'd been asleep when he sent it last night and when he knocked on her door. He asked her if she was feeling better this morning and she'd given him a small smile and told him yes. But she still had a look in her eye that told him otherwise, and despite her best efforts, he could still tell something wasn't quite right.
She'd been professional at work. Not letting whatever was on her mind seem to overflow into that environment. She hadn't been short with him. She hadn't avoided him. And she'd walked around with a smile like she always would have. But it wasn't her normal, bright smile. It wasn't the one that lit her eyes up and made her face radiate. This one looked feigned. No one else seemed to notice or comment on it. But he did. He couldn't help but notice. He'd learned so much about her in the two weeks he'd come to know her. How to read her moods, the things she liked and didn't like, what could make her smile. It was almost crazy to think he really hadn't known her very long at all, yet he felt like he knew her in some ways better than he knew most people in his life.
And he wasn't an idiot. He knew very well why she was she was upset. Or he knew the root of it anyway, which stemmed around him and Rick going out tonight. But the thing was, he didn't exactly know why that made her upset. He'd tossed different scenarios around in his head last night and all day today. But only three things really made sense to him.
The first was that she didn't like the fact that Rick had told her it wasn't okay for her to hook up, but here he was about to go off and do just that. And that made a lot of sense to Daryl. Knowing who she was. How strong minded she was. Why should be okay with her brother trying to tell her to live her life one way and then going and doing the opposite? Then there was the second thing. The thing that he was almost positive it couldn't be, yet it would fit into the grand scheme of things. And that was that the idea of him going out and hooking up with some girl made her feel just as sick to her stomach as the idea of her with some guy made him feel. That maybe, just maybe she was as hopelessly gone for him as he was for her. But that didn't mesh with what she'd been telling him. It didn't go with the fact that she'd repeatedly told him she wasn't interested in a relationship and didn't think she'd ever be again. So, that brought him to his third conclusion. One that also made a hell of a lot of sense given everything she'd been through lately. And that was that the idea of him going and hooking up with someone else when they'd just slept together again barely two days ago would make her feel insecure. That it'd make her feel like she hadn't been good enough or satisfied him enough. Which damn sure wasn't true.
And the frustrating thing about all of this was that he didn't really wanna go. He had no desire to spend his evening to talking to some random girl when he could be at home hanging out with the one he liked. He didn't wanna go home with some random chick he wanted the one he shared a house with to end up in his bed with him.
But he couldn't exactly get out of going. Not without making one hell of a confession anyway. And what good would that confession do? Rick would flip the fuck out on both of them for sleeping together in the first place. And then Daryl worried it would really kill Rick's momentum that he'd suddenly built up to move on. He'd watched his friend sulk around for far too long and he was glad that he'd finally decided he was ready to get on with his life. Granted, he doubted Rick would actually end up going home with some girl tonight. But maybe he'd get a phone number. Meet someone he could go on a date with. Either way, he felt he owed it to his friend to go with him and help him move on. Especially since he felt like a shitty friend for lying to him and repeatedly breaking a promise to him.
But then again there was the simple fact that if he was right about the other two reasons he'd come up with about why Carol was upset that he'd really be hurting her by going out tonight. And he didn't wanna do that. Not at all. He couldn't stand the idea of knowingly doing something to hurt her feelings. No matter how much he cared about Rick, no matter how good of friends they were, when it came to her everything else seemed to go out the window. It was like he couldn't make decisions anymore without considering how they'd affect her. And that was fucking stupid and he knew it, but he couldn't help it. She was practically all he fucking thought about these days. His life had been so simple before he met her, and maybe he should miss that simplicity, but this girl made him feel like he'd been missing out on something his whole damn life by not knowing her. And as complicated as it was now, as much as he hated he couldn't have her how he wanted her, he was just fucking thankful he had her in some kind of way.
So, as they walked in the house this evening and he watched her back fall on the couch, he simply plopped down beside her. Letting his head hit the back of the couch and turning it so he could face her. "Why don't you come with us tonight?" He asked, not really thinking about what he was saying as the words left his mouth.
She turned to face him and scoffed. "Yeah. I totally wanna watch you and my brother pick up girls all night."
He grinned at her. "You seriously think your brother's gonna pick up a girl he don't know?"
She shrugged her shoulders lightly and didn't return his grin. "I don't know. Stranger things have happened. But I think you won't have a problem finding someone to go home with."
His grin faded and he swallowed hard. "Carol, I don't."
She shook her head and interrupted him. "It's okay. Me and you." She motioned between them. "This, well, it is what it is. You don't owe me anything. You don't have to feel like you do. I'm not here to stop you from living your life. You are who you are. There's nothing wrong with that."
He moved his hand to his face and started rubbing his temples. His heart was pounding in his chest and a voice deep inside of him was screaming at him to just tell her how he felt. To tell her he didn't wanna go because he didn't want anyone else. That he had no fucking clue who he was anymore, but that whoever the fuck he was now was someone who wanted to be with her. But he didn't. The words wouldn't find their way from his head or heart or wherever the fuck they came from to his mouth. "What are you gonna do tonight?" He asked instead.
"Figured I'd call Shawn up. You know, if everyone else is gonna get laid tonight I might as well, too." She replied, dryly.
He felt his stomach twist into knots and he was sure all of the color had left his face or he'd either turned a nice shade of green. He brought his thumb up to the side of his mouth and started chewing at his cuticle. He didn't know what the fuck to say to that, so he didn't say anything at all.
She watched him for a moment, noticing how uncomfortable that statement made him. She let out a small laugh and shook her head at him. A part of her almost wanted to let him keep thinking that, but she wasn't that petty or childish. "I'm kidding. I'm going out with Maggie and Tara. We're gonna get a few drinks."
His hand fell from the side of his lip and he nodded at her, being careful to not let out a sigh of relief in front of her that would give him away even more than the expression he'd just had might have. "Sounds fun. If Tara was still single I'd just tell Rick to take her tonight. She makes a hell of a wingman…errr. Woman….whatever."
She chuckled lightly at that and stood up, looking down at him one last time before she stepped away. "Have fun tonight, Daryl."
"Yeah. You too." He mumbled as he watched her walk away. He continued watching her until he saw he stepr into the bathroom and shut the door behind her. He ran both hands over his face and sighed heavily.
()()()
Maggie had come and picked Carol up before Rick had even gotten home. He'd been in the shower when she left and she'd sent him a text letting him know she'd be home later, but if she wasn't she just ended up staying with Maggie and to worry. He'd sent one back telling her to have fun and to call him if she needed anything. She hadn't replied and Rick had gotten home shortly after. He asked where his sister was and Daryl told updated him. Rick then grabbed a quick shower and two of them started the short walk down town. They stopped at the pool hall first since it was still pretty early and a lot of people wouldn't be out yet. They were in the middle of a close game when Rick looked up from the table and met his friend's eyes.
Rick grabbed his beer and took a long sip of it, still eyeing Daryl closely. "We been friends for a while now. And as far as I know you've always been honest with me. You've been a good friend to me. Especially the last few months."
Daryl twirled his pool stick in his hand nervously and kept his eyes on Rick, because he could tell he wasn't done talking yet.
"Then my sister moved in and you two. You really seemed to hit off, huh. I mean, you're pretty close."
He put the stick down and grabbed his own beer Rick had gotten for him. He took a sip and then gripped it tightly in his hand. "We're friends." He muttered. "She's a cool chick."
Rick nodded and stood up to lean against the wall. He sighed and took a deep breath, preparing himself for what he was about to ask. "I know I asked you this once. Both of you. And I know you both said no. But I just…I need to ask one more time….and whatever you tell me tonight, I'll believe you. I will. But I just need hear it again." He paused for a moment. "Is something going on with you and my sister? Has anything happened between the two of you?"
And there it was. Rick was asking him point blank and he wasn't sure he could lie to the man again. This was his opportunity to be honest. To get out of this night. Then he could shoot a few more games of pool with Rick and he could go home. He could be there when Carol got back and he could spend the rest of his evening with her like he really wanted to do anyway.
He grabbed his beer and chugged the rest of it to hopefully give himself the balls to say it. To be honest about it and hope that things turned out okay. It was like Hershel said, we do all we can sometimes and hope for the best. It was time to man up. He pulled at his bottom lip as he placed the beer down beside him, moving his hands to his side and sucking in a deep breath. "I like your sister. Like I really fucking like her." He admitted quietly. He decided to see how Rick took that part before he admitted they'd slept together. Baby steps here. Baby steps.
Rick froze in place, waiting for Daryl to say something else. Waiting for his expression to change, but it didn't. He stood there, almost stone like, waiting for a response from Rick. And Rick's expression was one of confusion at first, but then it turned to something different completely. One that Daryl probably didn't expect. Rick busted out into hysterical fits of laughter. Laughter so loud the entire pool hall turned and stared at him. "Oh shit. That's a good one." He moved his hands to his knees and bent over to pull in a breath between laughs. "Seriously, you almost had me there for a second. You sounded so serious."
Daryl chewed at his bottom lip as he watched Rick. He had to fight the urge to punch his friend in the face right now. He didn't appreciate being fucking laughed at like that. But then again, why would Rick take that seriously? This is exactly why he hadn't wanted to tell Carol, or anyone for that matter. He'd known that no one would believe him or take him seriously.
"Fuck, I think you almost made me break a rib there." He chuckled some more and grabbed at his side. "Come on. I mean, I could see you sleeping with her, but we both know you better than to think you actually like her. I mean, shit, weren't you just about to get with some girl not too long ago but then her stupid roommate interrupted you?"
"Stupid fucking roommate was your dumbass." He mumbled to himself. "And that girl was your sister, you asshole."
Rick tunred around to face his friend. "What'd you say? I didn't hear you?"
He shook his head. "Nothing. I just said you caught me. I should've known you wouldn't have believed that for long."
Rick picked his beer up again and shook his head, trying not to bust out laughing once more. Then he remembered he hadn't gotten an answer to the question he'd initially asked and he composed himself rather quickly. "But seriously, have you slept with her?"
Daryl looked him dead in the eye as he said his next words. "Nope. I ain't touched her." And this time he couldn't muster a bit built of guilt for lying to him.
()()()
Carol was on her third shot of the night at another bar a few blocks away. It was karaoke night and Tara had decided it was her time to shine. She was currently on stage singing her rendition of, I like big butts. Carol and Maggie were watching from their seats at the bar, getting a good laugh in about it.
"There's not enough drinks in the world." Maggie chuckled to herself as she sipped her margarita.
Carol smirked and downed her shot, grimacing as she felt the rough liquid flow down her throat. "I don't know. I think if I have a few more of these you might see me up there before the nights over."
Maggie's brow furrowed and she placed a hand on Carol's shoulder. "Slow down, sweetie. We're here to have a good time. Not pass out."
Carol put her hand up to get the attention of the bar tender. "Yes, can I have one of what she's having?"
The woman nodded at her and went to work fixing her another drink.
"Sorry." She replied, turning her attention back to Maggie. "I'm having a good time. I'm just trying to make sure I keep having one."
Maggie's eyebrow rose at that. "Everything okay?"
She didn't really know Maggie well enough to tell her this, and if she was sober she wouldn't have. But she'd had enough to drink at this point that her lips were a little looser than normal. "Daryl and Rick went out tonight. My idiot brother finally decided to move on and that he needed Daryl's help to pick up a woman. Can you believe that?"
"Wait! What? Daryl's out picking up girls?"
"You say that like he's a fucking virgin, Maggie." She snorted. "He's been with so many girls he doesn't even know an exact number. He couldn't tell you if I made number 25 or 31 for him."
Her voice became quiet and soft as a knowing look spread across her face. "So you did sleep with him. I knew it."
The bartender handed her the drink she'd ordered and she took it, immediately placing her lips over the straw and gulping some down. "Yep. Five times the weekend Rick was gone. Once the other night after my date with Shawn." She cringed when she remembered Shawn was Maggie's brother. "Sorry. Your brother is a nice guy and all. It just, it wasn't there for me."
Maggie chuckled at that. "It's okay. I wasn't really expecting things to work out with you and Shawn anyway."
"I don't do things like that. You know? I don't just sleep with guys I don't date. But Daryl. He's just…I don't know. He's gorgeous and he wanted me and it made me want him. I felt so bad about myself after finding out Ed cheated on me. It didn't help that the woman he got pregnant was a knockout. Blond, huge boobs" She moved her hands in front of her chest to give Maggie an idea of just how big she was talking. "And then there was this guy who I knew had a reputation of being a play boy and getting around. One that I can tell can pretty much pull any girl he wants. And to know he wanted me. It just made me feel good at first. I thought I'd sleep with him once and I'd feel better about myself and that'd be it."
"But it wasn't." Maggie finished for her.
"No. It wasn't." She sighed. "We slept together again that night and fell asleep in bed with him. I woke up and he an arm around me. It freaked me out a little honestly and I figured if he woke up like that it'd freak him out to. I slipped out of his room and was worried things would be weird that morning, but they weren't. And we had this great day the next day and then we kinda had sex at the athletic complex." She felt herself turn beet red and her eyes grew wide. "I swear I don't normally do things like that either."
The other woman put her hands up. "No judgement. I once slept with Glenn in the back of the pizzeria."
She choked back a laugh and she had to admit that made her feel slightly better admitting that to her. "I just…I couldn't keep my hands off him that weekend. I'm really attracted to him. I mean, we have this amazing chemistry. My God, I swear it's like nothing else I've ever experienced."
Maggie smiled, fondly remembering thinking the same thing she first got with Glenn.
"But it's just….it's more than that, too. I mean. I like being around him. I like talking to him. And I know it's crazy. I know I haven't known him very long, but I feel like he knows me better than anyone. I feel like I know him better than anyone else knows him."
"That's because you probably do." She interrupted. "Daryl isn't exactly the most open person in the world. He connected with you, he's comfortable with you. I can even see that."
"Yeah. Well, I'm pretty sure he's gonna be conneting with someone else tonight."
She grimaced and gave her a sympthatic look. "Maybe not. I can't really see Rick going home with someone he doesn't know. That's not your brother. Besides, I think there's something there between him and Michonne. Maybe they got there and Rick decided what a bad idea this was and they both went home."
She sipped some more of her drink. "Yeah. I thought that, too. But he made it sound like this was all Michonne's idea and he seemed pretty excited about it all."
"I just can't see Michonne telling him to do that."
She just shrugged. "I couldn't either, but I'm telling you, that's what he made it sound like. So that's what he took away from whatever she told him."
Maggie looked down at her phone and contemplated calling her friend, but she knew she'd gone home for the weekend. It was her mom's birthday and she didn't wanna interrupt a family gathering. Especially with news she thought might upset her. "Men are idiots sometimes." She mumbled.
"Can't argue that."
Maggie looked up, noticing that Tara was about to finish the song. She had a feeling Carol wasn't going to be as open once the other girl returned to the table, and she had a burning question for the woman. One she wanted to know the answer to right now. She reached over and grabbed Carol's arm softly. "You like him don't you?" She said it more as a statement that a question, because after seeing how upset she was at the prospect of him hooking up with another girl she pretty much had her confirmation. She was just curious if the woman was finally ready to admit it to herself yet.
"I do not like him." She spat. "We're just friends who slept together a few times. That's all."
"But you don't want him to sleep with anyone else?" She countered.
"No I don't." She admitted.
"Why?"
"I might be interested in sleeping with him again at some point in the near future." She muttered.
"So, let me get this straight? You don't like him like that, but you wanna fuck him and you don't want him to fuck anyone else? And you like talking to him and hanging out with him and you admit you two have amazing chemistry and that this is different than just hooking up."
She simply nodded. "Yes. I'm glad you understand."
She gave her a small smile. "Oh honey, I understand. I do. More than you know. But I don't think you do."
"Maggie." She shot her a stern look. "I'm not going there with him. I can't. He's not that guy. And even if he was someone different. If he wasn't currently out on the prowl with my brother. That doesn't mean I would trust him. I just can't. Okay?"
"Okay." She relented as she looked up and saw Tara bowing to her audience as the song ended. "But you can't hold him accountable for something he didn't do. It's not fair to you and it isn't fair to him. Think about that tonight when he comes home and you find out he hasn't touched someone else."
()()()
"Can we get in on the game?" A female voice asked.
Daryl was about to take his shot when he glanced up. He noticed who the girl was immediately. She'd worked with him at the clinic and had quit right after Carol moved here. In fact, it was the girl she'd actually ended up replacing at work.
"You're Jessie, right?" Rick smiled.
"I am." She said, returning his smile. "Rick? Right?"
His eyes lit up at the fact this woman had somehow remembered his name despite only meeting her a handful of times before when he'd come in the clinic to drop something by to Daryl. "Yeah, that's right." He looked over at Daryl who was still bent over the table glaring at the two of them. "I don't mind if you join us. Do you?"
He'd never liked the girl much to begin with when he worked with her, but Rick seemed to have his sights on her for the night. And though he was still pissed that Rick had made him feel like an idiot when he tried to be honest with him, he wasn't going to be that low down and ruin his chances with her. "Yeah, whatever." He mumbled, moving his eyes back to the table and sinking the shot.
"Great!" She squealed. "I'll go tell my friend. She's in the restroom, but she'll be thrilled. She's had her eye on you for a while." She looked over at Daryl and gave him a wink.
Rick watched the woman walked away and smirked smugly. "Looks like we're both getting lucky tonight."
"Who the fuck's her friend?" He asked, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms over his chest.
"Has that ever really mattered to you before? She sounds into you and it's been forever for you. I'm surprised you're not humping someone's leg by now." Rick scratched his head. "In fact, I haven't seen you really look at any girls tonight."
He scanned the room quickly, looking for the first attractive girl he could find. He noticed a blond bending over a table a few feet away from them and pointed. "I been looking at her the last ten minutes. I just been trying to wait for you find someone before I made a move on someone."
Rick cocked an eyebrow at him as he watched her a man who was well over six feet tall step up from a bar stool and move beside her and place a kiss on her cheek. "That girl with the boyfriend? You were gonna go make a move on her?"
He looked the man up and down and shrugged. "She was looking at me, too. I could take him."
Rick didn't know about all that. The dude was huge and looked like he could bench press the two of them at the same time. "Why don't you just stick with the girl Jessie has with her. I don't feel like scraping your ass off the floor."
Daryl rolled his eyes. "Just take your fucking shot."
Rick shook his head and moved to the table, scouting out the best shot to take. When he leaned in to take the shot he happened to glance up and notice Jessie walking back with another girl, he looked over at Daryl and mouthed a wow.
Daryl cocked an eyebrow and moved his attention to the direction Rick was staring in. "You gotta be fucking kidding me." He mumbled to himself once he noticed who was with her.
Jessie walked up to the pool table with her friend in tow behind her. "Rick, this is Rosita. Rosita, this is Daryl's roommate and best friend, Rick."
"Nice to meet you.
"It's very nice to meet you, too." He said, looking her up and down and extending his hand to her.
"And you two already know each other." She giggled, nodding towards Daryl.
Rick looked over at him and raised his eyebrows.
"We got a class together." He murmured, downing the rest of his newest beer as he watched the seductive look she was shooting him. He supposed she hadn't taken the message when he bailed out on her invitation the other night. Either that or she was a hell of a lot like him when he got turned down. She felt more motivated by a challenge. And by the look she was giving him he'd bet anything he had that it was the second one.
(As you're getting ready to pummel me for not making this longer or putting more in here or getting to the goods, just let me say that this story is about the journey. So buckle up and enjoy the rest of the ride. I'll update again this weekend. Probably Sunday evening. I've got a much better idea of what I want to happen out of this current situation now. I know most of you are patiently waiting and enjoying this, but sometimes I find myself reflecting over my work and wondering how in the hell I've managed to include so many tiny details into this story. And as I reflect, I stop and wonder what my readers have to be thinking at that point and therefore all of these author notes are born. But seriously, I'm really into this one myself. This story is in essentially my baby at the moment.)