Beep… Beep… Beep…
Ye gods, my head was killing me. I tried to open my eyes, but all I managed was a blink before I closed them again. And grunted.
"He's coming around," a voice said. Male.
"Good," another voice. Male too, deeper one. "Chief, can you hear me?"
"Ugh…"
"Hold on, let me- There. Give it a second."
I felt something cool into my arm, and after a while, the pounding in my head subsided. I opened my eyes, and this time I could keep them open. The doctor was looking at me calmly, just waiting for me to get my bearings.
"That's better," I said. I coughed dryly, and gulped.
"Just some analgesic. You're aboard Arcturus, you were brought here three days ago after your implant malfunctioned. How are you feeling?"
"Tired," I replied. "Did we win?"
"I believe so," the doctor said. He leaned over and started flashing a light into my eyes, one at a time. "I'm not privy to all the details."
"Right. Good." My head was clearing by the second now. "Doc, can you check a friend? Aliana Shepard, she was injured during the boarding."
"Hm, name doesn't ring a bell," the doctor said, carrying on with his examination.
"I'll check," I said. "Where's my omni-tool?"
"Settle down," The doctor said, holding me down on the bed. "There's time for that."
"Shepard you said?" the other man said. Nurse. "I think she's down in ICU."
"Thank god she's alive," I muttered. "How is she?"
"Not sure, sorry."
The conversation stopped when the doctor suddenly clapped his hands in front of my face. I was taken aback by the surprise for a moment, but even as I waited, there was no reaction.
"What the…"
"Good. As I said, your implants malfunctioned. They're offline while we try to work out the bugs."
"Bugs?"
Shit, that had been weird. It was like having no reflexes at all. The handclap surprised me, in the vague sense that something unexpected had happened, but physically nothing had changed. No sudden pulse spike, involuntary jerk, nothing. I realized I had been literally waiting for the implants to kick in, and it had never happened.
"Seems like extreme adrenal fatigue sent the implant into a feedback loop when your adrenalin was depleted. The fact that you hit the stims pretty hard didn't help at all."
"Damn. So I shouldn't take stims?"
"It merely exacerbated the problem. We should be able to fix it, but for the time being, keep them off."
"Okay… Any other side effects?"
"None that we expect, but we will keep you monitored. Just take it easy and relax." He closed the medical scanner and took a step back, typing on his omni-tool. "Otherwise, you're in good shape."
"Right." I bent forward and tried to sit up, and found myself feeling rather sluggish. "I should go see Shepard."
"Can't do Chief, she's in the ICU," the nurse said.
"Can I see her file?" I said. "I'm E1, you know."
"Doctors always make the worst patients," the doctor said, shaking his head as he walked off.
"I'll see what I can do," the nurse said before following him, and I was left alone in the room.
Three days. And we won. I brought my mind back to the fight, trying to remember. We had taken the engineering deck of the dreadnought, and I remembered Kim asking me to blow it up. I couldn't remember if I did. I might actually have, I couldn't be sure. Despite the fact that we were pretty well entrenched in there, we had nowhere to go, and the turians had a lot of reinforcements. We were not in a position to hold the deck for long. In fact, as far as boardings go, that one had been less than ideal. We had managed to push through, yeah, but we hadn't secured anything in our path. We had been essentially trapped, and I suspect the other teams that made it had been in a similar situation.
And Shepard. Goldie had called and told me she was down. She was hurt bad, but I wasn't the one who treated her. I found my omni-tool on the bedside table and put it on. Immediately, it lit up with over a dozen unread messages.
Shiala had written three times. Marie, once. There was one from Larran Goh, the volus banker that took care of my stuff. Kim, too, had left a message. I didn't go though the list before the door to my room opened, and in came none other than Admiral Kishi.
"Uh- Sir!" I said. I snapped a salute after an embarrassingly long pause, and was about to try and stand up when Kishi gestured at me to stay, returning my salute.
"Easy Jinx, no need to stand. How are you feeling?"
"Very good, sir. They turned my implants off," I added, tapping the side of my head. "Haven't been this relaxed in years."
"Well, that's good to hear," Kishi said. She smiled and pulled the visitor's chair next to my bed, and call me crazy but for a moment I thought she looked exhausted when she sat down. "I was doing the rounds and heard they had woken you up."
"Yes sir, they did. How did the mission go? Did we make it?"
"Indeed we did," Kishi said. "Captured the Galatana, ended the battle, all in a day's work. Damn fine work, chief. Damn fine job."
"You know how it goes, sir. You point us in the right direction, and we get the job done."
"No matter the cost," Kishi added, and as she did, a shadow fell over her face.
"… how bad was it, sir?" I said, my voice low. Given her look-
"Bad," Kishi replied. "One hundred and eighteen casualties on the Einstein alone. Two hundred and fifty seven wounded." Shit. The crew might have been near two thousand people, but it was still a lot. "We cut it far too close."
"That's how Kim does it, sir. She has pretty good timing."
"Yes, it's a shame you didn't see it through to the end," Kishi said. Was she poking fun at me?
"Sorry about that, sir. If I had known these implants could glitch like this…"
"You're making a habit of this, chief," Kishi said, but her voice wasn't particularly harsh. "That's another red band on a ribbon for you. Maybe it's my fault, the first real order I gave you was to open that damn hangar door even if it killed you."
I had to trace back for that one, coming back from picking up Shepard from her foster family. Hell of a botched op, we were damn lucky to have survived. She still remembered that was me? Yeepers.
"So it was, sir. Wouldn't have made it without Gomes. What's she up to, sir?"
"Moved to the Trafalgar for the time being. I have her earmarked for the Tenth fleet if she ever gets past the OCS entrance exam."
"There's an entrance exam?" I said.
Kishi looked at me and shook her head in amusement. The conversation stopped when her omni-tool pinged at her. She read the message, and stood up immediately.
"I have to go," she said. "You relax and get on your feet. The Einstein is going to be docked for a while, so don't feel rushed. I want you back at one hundred percent, nothing less."
"Yes sir," I replied.
Hey Marie,
I'm finally up, thanks for the messages. I'm still going to be in the hospital for a while, they've got to figure out what's going on exactly with my implants and how to fix it. I'm feeling fine otherwise, really relaxed in fact. Not sure what they've been drugging me with but there you go, I haven't been this chill since I moved to New Zealand back in the day.
Roy.-
"Matriarch, Doctor T'Soni is here," the intercom called.
Benezia took a moment to compose herself before opening the line. Doctor T'Soni. Not Liara, too familiar. Using her surname like that, however, that spoke volumes. The family name.
She's in a fighting mood.
Maybe Aethyta had been rubbing off on her, or maybe it was the quarter krogan. Maybe it was just having the chance to spread her wings by herself, finally, after all she had been through.
It wouldn't do to call her Little Wing now. That time was long past.
"Thank you Fieney. Let her in," Benezia replied.
She made herself more comfortable on the low chair and waited. There was a spread on the table, some sweet delicacies and a dozen different teas. One of them was jasmine tea, a pleasant and simple aromatic tea from Earth. She knew Liara had been drinking it during her time on Mars, but she didn't want to make it obvious that she had brought it for her.
Or she might notice anyway.
The door to the office opened, and Benezia stood up with a dignified, fluid motion. Liara stopped at the threshold, and they looked at each other for far too long for it to be a mere formality. There was so much going on behind those eyes. Liara's mind was sharp, working and taking in all the details. Benezia knew she had been right, there was an air of defiance about her. Underneath, Liara was unsure. Worried. Not scared, not that. Worried. Confused, perhaps. And fighting the urge to bolt out of the door.
"Mother," Liara said.
Mother.
"Liara," Benezia replied, her voice calm but warm. "It is good to see you."
"Is it?"
Ah, there it is.
"Of course it is," Benezia replied calmly. "Please, come have a seat. Pour yourself some tea."
She gestured at the empty sofa, and seated herself down on the opposite side of the coffee table. Liara only hesitated for a moment, and marched in as if she was preparing for war. She sat down, looking at the teas and sorting through them. Benezia saw the instant she found the jasmine tea; she paused for a moment, gave her a side glance, and picked up the jar of Black Button instead.
Benezia waited patiently for Liara to finish her preparation.
"So, here I am," Liara said. She picked up her cup and blew softly over the hot water. She didn't elaborate.
"Thank you for coming," Benezia said. "It has been a while since we last talked. How different things were back then."
"Quite different. For one thing, you weren't even interested in talking with me at all."
"Oh Liara. I will not insult you by attempting to apologize, you should know that was never the case. I care about you."
I wanted to throw everything away, daughter. Everything.
"Actions speak louder than words," Liara replied. "Why am I here?"
Benezia forced herself to relax. The waters between them were too murky, it might be they would never be cleared. She had to focus on the job. It was important to play it right, and not bring the family name into the mix. That was the reason why they were meeting in her public residence in Serrice. Many eyes had seen Liara arrive, many more would see her leave. It would make the divide between the two of them even more public. A gesture for the other matriarchs.
"I have a job for you, if you are interested. For your exploration company."
She held back saying anything else. A compliment. The fact that Liara was now the most sought after expert in prothean technology. She could take it as condescending, or attempting to, as the humans would say, butter her up. There was no need either; Liara, more than anyone, knew the significance of everything she had worked so hard for.
"Of course," Liara replied. "Now that I have turned things around, you're coming to collect. Am I finally worthy of the T'Soni name?"
Oh Liara…
"I wouldn't dream of taking your success for myself," Benezia said. "This is a professional offer."
"I see." Liara looked around, and sat back on her sofa. Still suspicious, still angry. "That's why we're here. Showing off your daughter?"
"Quite the opposite," Benezia replied, trying her best to keep her tone even and composed. Liara's anger was making her reach the wrong conclusion far too fast, she wasn't thinking things through. "You have made a success of yourself, daughter. I don't mind if others are able to see that."
For a few seconds, Liara didn't speak. When she finally did, her voice had lost some of its edge.
"I am not interested in your political games, mother. I am on my own, as you said."
Finally, she understood. She understood the implications. Benezia had invited her to show that she was not part of the family, that she was not controlled by her mother. Perhaps she didn't grasp the entire political implications for the family, mostly because she didn't care for it, but she finally saw past her anger. Benezia smiled softly. Liara had turned into a beautiful butterfly, and she had missed the whole thing. She toyed with the idea of asking Aethyta about it, but somehow she didn't feel she deserved to be part of those memories.
"Good. I have a certain Prothean site I need some expert advice on."
"I am quite busy at the moment," Liara replied. "Between the beacon of Mars and Ilos, I barely have a moment to rest."
"I wouldn't want to keep you from that. I know many people in your old university department are waiting for your publications with bated breath."
"They will have to wait a bit longer," Liara replied, a playful smile creeping onto her face. "They haven't groveled enough for my taste yet."
"Getting even, as the humans said, is important. Just try not to overdo it, or the tilted balance might correct itself against you."
"Motherly advice?" Liara said.
"Matriarchal, if you prefer." Benezia replied. "I suspect you will want to make time for this job. More than that I am really not at liberty to say."
Benezia cast a furtive glance around, and saw Liara take her point without delay. There were disadvantages to meeting in one of her more public offices, and that was the likelihood of being overheard.
"Is it truly better than Ilos?"
"I have my doubts about the practical uses," Benezia said, "but from an archaeological point of view, you might actually enjoy it more."
Liara seemed to think about it, perhaps making mental calculations or scheduling her work. Benezia waited for a while, hoping that Liara would ask for a meld to understand what she was offering. It had been so long since they had shared, she missed it. She missed the comfort, the closeness of the familial sharing with her only daughter. The little miracle that came when she thought she would never birth a child.
With the most volatile asari she had ever met, too. Matrons were supposed to be wise, it seemed as if she had gone backwards instead of forward.
And that daughter of hers didn't even entertain the thought of sharing a single moment with her anymore.
"Very well, I will see if I can fit your request, but the work I am doing on Mars is still too involved for me to walk away."
"It can wait, for a while." Benezia replied, forcing a smile against her dark thoughts.
"What kind of team should I bring?"
"Small, at first. And ask Aethyta for her best."
Liara nodded, and without any more ceremony, she put her empty cut of tea on the table and stood, straightening her dress. Benezia hid her disappointment by doing the same.
"Is there anything else?" Liara said.
"No. Please let Fieney know when you are ready and I will make arrangements."
"Of course," Liara said. "Goodbye mother."
She made a small bow, and Benezia returned it. She watched as her daughter walked off, her steps even and confident. Some of the anger was gone, but in its place a deep chasm seemed to grow, wider and wider with each step. When she closed the door behind her, having never turned around, Benezia had to sit down.
Her chest felt icy cold, just like it had the day… Like that day. Now she knew for sure, she had lost her daughter forever.
And just like Aethyta had said. The woman her daughter had turned out to be was going to shake the galaxy. And the galaxy didn't deserve her.
The Council chamber was usually a very grandiose place. It was purposely designed to show off the workings of the government. The Council stood atop the back platform, the guest was kept in a supplicant position, and a large audience was there to witness the whole event. Some – specially turians – resented having to take the supplicant position. In doing so, they missed the big picture. Decisions in their favour carried extra weight; it was a very visual message. Effective.
But things were very different today. There was no audience to watch the councilors, and the Council was not standing at the top. All three of them were sitting in the side office, with a fourth facing the trio across a relatively small table. And yet, despite all the theater, the position of the representatives of the three most powerful races in the galaxy was not one of control.
That belonged to the graying human woman on the other side of that table. And that made Sparatus uncomfortable.
"This was an internal matter of the Hierarchy!" Sparatus shouted.
"Our mandate is clear, councilor," Anita replied. "We are to guard internal trade routes in Council space. It doesn't get any more clear than this. The real question is how one of your dreadnoughts took control of an entire fleet and tried to destroy a shipment of Thanix heading for Arcturus."
"Tabar would not shoot civilians, he'd never destroy those ships," Sparatus retorted.
"Quibbling over a technicality," Anita said.
"We could have handled the situation!"
"Councilor, please," Tevos interrupted. "The ambassador is right, the mandate for the Ninth Fleet is very clear. Does it really matter who resolved the situation?"
"This is all your fault," Sparatus said, turning to look at Tevos.
"Of course. I did enjoy hijacking your dreadnought, assembling a fleet, and setting a trap for the human fleet."
"A trap?" Sparatus replied. "Nonsense!"
"Perhaps, or perhaps not. You must realize what this incident looks like from the outside."
That was low, but he had come to expect such trickery from the asari. Rumors and lies? No, never, not her. Those things just spontaneously happened within the Asari Republics.
"Let's not start spreading rumors," Alarn said, his salarian voice quickly cutting through the conversation. "Reporters are doing that well enough. The matter remains, we must stop this from escalating. Reason for the attack?"
"Same reason everyone leaves the hierarchy these days. Problems with the colonies?" Anita said.
"Anita…" Tevos said.
Sparatus didn't say a word. There was no need. Reasons? He'd know soon enough, after Tabar was interrogated. He could already guess, however. There was a lot of unrest within the Hierarchy regarding the increasing influence of the Systems Alliance. They were not ready. Nobody seemed to be able to see it. They were too small, too inexperienced, and too damn arrogant. If the full might of the Hierarchy were to be unleashed, they'd never stand a chance.
"Well?" Anita said.
"The matter is being investigated," Sparatus replied.
"More practical matters," Alarn interrupted, going off a tangent in the salarian version of diplomacy. "Systems Alliance is now in breach of the Treaty of Farixen regarding the number of dreadnoughts."
"You intend to keep it?!" Sparatus snapped.
"It would most definitely be our right," Anita replied, an all-too-pleased smile on her face. "The Victory of Galatana did attack us, and we did capture it dead to rights. But don't worry Sparatus, we'll give it back." She paused for a moment, aiming for full effect. "It's not like we need it."
"Is that so?" Sparatus said, going off a tangent to avoid snapping at the bait. "Your Ninth Fleet is not in any shape to carry on their duties. We should-"
"The fleet is fine," Anita said. "The Second Fleet will be covering until the new carriers are ready."
"The Second Fleet? Isn't that the fleet guarding the Quarian space? How long can you think you can spread your fleets so thin?" Sparatus said.
"Not long, but they only have to do it for ten days. The reminder of the Ninth Fleet will be commissioned then."
It was as if a gust of cold air had blown through the room. The stunned silence that followed took a small eternity to break, and when Tevos finally spoke, it felt like a thin layer of glass had shattered.
"You have already finished eight more carriers?!" she said.
"The quarians have been a big help," Anita replied. "We want to make the best of our contract with Armax Arsenal, after all."
Sparatus had to fight extremely hard to keep a very inappropriate curse from escaping his lips. That damn Tabar! Sparatus couldn't know for sure, but he had a good inkling as to what had transpired. He hadn't gotten any direct orders, at least nothing that could be tied back to any of the Primarchs. But he tried to capture a shipment from Armax Arsenal, and so it just happened that the Ninth Fleet got wind of it before anyone else. Even though the Spirit of Palaven and her two sister dreadnoughts, the Silver Sea and the Ancestors of Palaven were coincidentally in maneuvers not two systems away with half of the Home Fleet.
On top of that, Tabar had made the tactical error of leaving all comms satellites intact, only doing expensive and difficult jamming through the battle instead of destroying them. As if he expected a distress signal to eventually get through to the Home Fleet.
No, it was pretty clear. The reasons were many, but could be summed up with the Turian frustration at the sudden Systems Alliance ascendancy. He might not haven intended to destroy the human fleet completely, but he had definitely tried to give it a deadly blow, to leave their survival in the hands of the Home Fleet. And the humans had responded with real zeal. Like they had something to prove. In a way, they did. And they had proven one thing, the new weapons provided by Armax Arsenal were catastrophically powerful. Frigates were swatted out of the sky by mere fighters. Cruisers had trouble keeping up with human frigates, and if reports were to be believed, a squadron of fighters had taken down three of them. Only the Victory of Galatana had withstood the assault and turned the tide of battle, at least before it let itself be captured.
The meeting continued, but Sparatus had quickly lost interest. It had all gone so wrong. The result of the encounter was a lot of bad blood, and a lot of unanswered questions. Armax Arsenal would not take kindly to having had their shipment hijacked in such a fashion. Had the Ninth Fleet failed to protect them, things could have been different. Not like that.
After some more posturing and very thinly veiled gloating from the human ambassador, the meeting finally came to an end. Sparatus demanded, and obtained, a short timeline for the return of the Victory of Galatana, but it was only when he was leaving the Council chambers that he realized he had forgotten to take into account the quarians. They might actually manage to break through the systems in that short time, and take the Dreadnought apart before the deadline.
"Curse the Spirits..." he muttered.
"Unfortunate turn of events," Alarn said, surprising Sparatus and nearly making him jolt on the spot. He hadn't noticed the salarian at all. "The encounter didn't quite go as anyone planned. Uncertain outcome, not very informative to anyone. Unexpected outcome."
"Your point?" Sparatus said, still walking towards the lift.
Alarn stepped in with him, and the interminable ride down started.
"The superiority of the Alliance's arsenal was to be expected," Alarn said. "But their defensive capabilities exceeded our projections. Concerning. Ships have been in service without any extended docking, their superior defensive systems could have only come from the Asari. Not enough time for substantial upgrades from the quarians. Dangerous."
That was a very strong word for a Salarian. A Turian would have agreed, and he did, but it was unexpected that Alarn, of all people, would point like that to a potentially escalating conflict.
"We have to rethink ship designs," Sparatus said. "We cannot allow ourselves to fall behind the Systems Alliance, even when we outnumber them ten to one. We've become complacent."
"Of course. Might be able to help, keeping the balance of power is a delicate procedure but fundamental for galactic stability."
"And what would you want in return?"
Alarn didn't answer at first, he merely smiled in that fundamentally cryptic manner the Salarians did. Influcence. That was what the Dalatrasses traded on. Influence. Power by proxy. Never getting involved.
"Ship design can be improved. The performance of the crews during boarding encounters, however, is beyond our capabilities to change."
Alarn said that last thing as the lift finally arrived to the Presidium, stepping out without waiting for an answer. And it smarted, like a slap to the jaw. Damn him. STG had probably given him a full dossier on the battle. But he was right, and that was what made it burn so fiercely inside Sparatus' chest. Serving in a Dreadnought was supposed to be a position of honour and responsibility, something every Hierarchy soldier should aspire to, something reserved for the best of the best. Instead, it had become a place for connected families and scions of influential politicians to get a cozy position of prestige. The fact that they had never expected to be boarded could have been excused. The fact that they had failed to defend the flagship, that couldn't be forgiven.
He was going to shake up the crew compliments of the Hierarchy's dreadnoughts, even if he had to do it himself ship by ship.
Roy! Praise the Goddess, I am so relieved to hear from you.
I have heard many reports from the incident with the Turian fleet. Some of them contradictory, as is the way with rumours. The worst one I heard was that the Ninth Fleet had been completely destroyed. I am happy to hear the reports were greatly exaggerated. I am sorry to hear about Shepard, what is her condition? I am currently in the middle of a very unavoidable assignment, but I will try to visit as soon as possible. Perhaps I will be able to help.
And how are you? I know you well enough to realize you are probably downplaying your own injuries. Are you bound to Arcturus while you recover, or are you free to go? I know of a wonderful resort that I'm sure would aid in your recovery.
Do take care. Goddess bless you,
Shiala.
A resort. I have to admit, the idea did seemed rather appealing. I hadn't had a real holiday since my arrival - at least not one where I wasn't recovering from something - other than spending our New Years at Kitt and Simon's. Taking Shepard there and forgetting for a moment about all the shit we had gone through really did sound like a great idea.
Of course, it was all in my head. I had been discharged for the time being because the medbay was too overloaded. Implants were off, and I had a monitoring kit attached to my omni-tool to make sure I was progressing well. But with no implants, the whole thing still felt rather strange. It was almost like being in the most lucid dream I had ever had. It didn't feel quite real. It could be that, or it could be where my head was. I had a permanent low-level headache, and I felt like I had a knot in the pit of my stomach.
With nothing to do, and not even permission to get back on duty, all I was doing was studying for the E2 medical certification. Fuckloads of anatomy, that's for sure, and it included some Xenobiology to boot. Comparative anatomy. I had spent days trying to start, but I wasn't getting anywhere fast. It felt like I was stuck on the first page of the datapad, and anytime I thought I was making progress, I was right back on it.
It took me a while to realize someone had been ringing the doorbell of my apartment repeatedly. I looked at my omni-tool, and saw it was already morning. Must have been at it all night. I dropped the datapad on the table and headed for the door. When I opened it, and before I could say anything, something smacked me right on the face. I dropped back a couple of steps while something hit the ground, and all the confusion was drowned by the shout from a voice that took me a moment to place.
"Oh my gosh Roy!" Marie. I recognized the voice even though I had my hands on my face. Goddammit but that hurt. "Wha- Why didn't you grab it!"
"Freaking hell," I muttered, my voice somewhat nasal as I pressed on my nose. "Marie! What the hell did you throw at me!"
"I'm so sorry! But why didn't you grab it? You have these creepy super-reflexes that... Oh..."
"Yeah," I replied. I let go of my face and looked at my hands, seeing some blood on it. "Implants are off. Goddammit..."
"I'm so, so sorry," Marie said. She looked like she didn't quite know what to do. "Let me-"
"It's fine," I interrupted. "I don't think it's broken. I'll be back."
I headed for the bathroom with my head tilted backwards, pinching my nose as I walked. It hurt, but my nose felt pretty firm. Nothing broken. I found the tap, and started washing with cold water. As I did, I could hear Marie trashing about, and I wasn't sure what she was doing. When the water started to come out a bit cleaner, I pushed a rolled-up ball of polyfiber inside my left nostril until it was well stuffed.
Even the cotton was fake in Arcturus.
When I came out, Marie was filling up a couple of glasses with what appeared to be juice. The bottle was half-empty, and it didn't click until then that it was what she had thrown at me.
"Do you even live here?" Marie said. "I couldn't find any cleaning stuff, I had to use a tea towel."
"Eh, not much to clean," I replied.
She stopped what she was doing to give me a hug, then planted a kiss on my cheek. "It's good to see you," she said. "I was worried."
"Thanks," I replied. "What did you throw at my face?"
"I'm so sorry Roy," she said, taking a step back. "I thought you'd just catch it like you always do. It was just a bottle of fresh juice. I swear I didn't want to hit you."
"Okay, but can you stop throwing things at me?" I said, my voice flat.
"Y-yeah. Sorry."
I walked to the sofa and plopped down on it without much energy. Marie took the glasses and came to join me, offering me one of them before seating herself across the sofa, arm over the backrest and facing me.
"I didn't think they'd let you out if your implants are not working," she said. "What's wrong with them? Are you okay?"
"They're still trying to figure it out," I said. "I'm fine."
"You always say that," she replied, furrowing her brow.
"It's true," I said with a shrug. "They switched them off and I feel the most relaxed I've been since I came here."
"But-" Marie made a sudden gesture with her hand in front of my face, getting no response. "That doesn't look right."
"I'm on medical leave."
"I see. Well, I'm glad you're okay, I was really worried! How is your sister? Is she back on duty?"
"No, she's still in the medbay," I said. I leaned forward, with my elbows on my knees trying to steady the nauseous feeling that had just intensified. "They won't let me see her. She's on life support while they clone some organs. I don't even know if she'll make it."
"Roy..."
"I don't even know if she's alive or jus-"
"Roy, stop," Marie said. She was standing up in front of me. She took the glass off my hands, put it on the table, then grabbed my hands and knelt in front of me, coming up just under eye level. "You're saying these things, and your face and your voice don't match the words."
"That's the implants," I replied, my voice a flat monotone.
"I know you're worried," she said, ignoring my response. "I can't tell you not to worry, but she's a strong girl. You know she's been through a lot. If someone can make it it's her."
I didn't answer. She didn't say anything either, she just kept looking at me. Waiting patiently. I was feeling sick.
"There's something else, isn't there?" Marie finally said. "Do you think you can tell me?"
"Just..."
"... It's okay Roy. You know you can tell me."
I gulped, my throat having gone completely dry. I could barely speak.
"During the op. I heard Lana had been hit, and... And I thought I made it in time. We got there in time. Someone else was looking after her, so I didn't... I just kept pushing. I didn't check on her. I thought she would be fine."
"You did what you had to do," Marie said. She reached up and ran her fingers through the hair on the back of my head. "You know that. Triage. You had to move on."
"I know. But... If she dies..."
That was a gigantic mental gordian knot I wasn't able to unravel. It wasn't just the thought of losing Shepard. It was everything else. My presence in this Universe that sometimes didn't even feel real. The reapers. My thoughts veered towards them whenever Shepard came up, and towards the hole in my mind I had locked away.
My thoughts derailed when I felt Marie's lips on mine, and the tender kiss she planted on them.
"You are going to drive yourself mad," she said. She leaned back to sit on her haunches, and tried to give me a smile. "You have to find a distraction."
"Like what? I'm on medical, I can't do anything."
"That's just an excuse," she replied. "Why-"
She was interrupted by a ping from her omni-tool. We looked at each other for a moment, and it was fascinating to see the play of emotions on her face. She went from surprised, to worried, to annoyed in the space of about three seconds.
"Something wrong?"
"Only one person in the world could have this horrible timing," she said.
She opened her omni-tool and read the message quickly. After a very deep sigh, she looked at me. She didn't speak, however, and looking at her, I could tell her brain was working something out.
"What's wrong?" I insisted.
"No, nothing, just..." She sighed again and stood up, coming to sit besides me. "There's something important I wanted to talk to you about. It's just that the timing is terrible, but I can't wait..."
"Okay."
I couldn't be sure, but my guess was that she was put off by my completely flat answers. She sat down, chewed on it for a while, and bracing herself very visibly, she went ahead.
"I wanted to talk to you about a job. Well, I came here for you first of all, but this too."
"I already have a job," I said.
"Sure. I told you we work with the military all the time, right?" she said, and I nodded in response. "We're just part of a bigger group, and we do all kinds of things. We do research, intelligence gathering, everything."
"Civilian contractors?"
"Not... exactly. What we try to do is help humanity, do what needs to be done without the political tape." She forced out a smile before continuing. "It's not as bad as it sounds, but we do a lot of work with intelligence gathering and 'off the book' stuff."
She waited, but I didn't say anything. I had no idea where she was going with that, more so because I still had too much shit buzzing inside my head.
"Well, the thing is, we wanted you to work with us. So we ran a background check, and there's something that came up that I wanted to show you."
"Background check?"
"Yeah. Hold on..." She searched through her bag, and pulled out a datapad. She handed it to me, and this time she wasn't smiling. "Well, yeah, take a look. Recognize any of them?"
I opened the datapad and what greeted me was something I wasn't expecting. Six pictures of six asari. Not exactly mugshots, more like pictures taken while they weren't looking. The faces were clear as rain however, and I did recognize one of them straight away. Shiala. The only reason I didn't react at all was the fact that I was off my implants, but somehow the low key headache I kept carrying felt like it was getting worse.
"What's this?" I muttered.
"It's just something that came up," Marie said. She was lying, or at least not telling me everything. Sounded like it anyway. "You can look at their dossiers, they're asari agents. We're not too sure who they all work for. Normally it's nothing to worry about, but six of them, and so close together, it's raised a few flags. Specially with all the other stuff you have on your record working with the Citadel Affairs and with Drescher."
Wait, who's that?
I recognized another one of them. A younger asari I met a few months after I had my first fight with Shiala. Really didn't know how to take a no for an answer, she was a fucking psycho. I touched the screen on the picture, and the dossier came up. Not much info, but one thing did catch my eye. She was a known associate of Shiala.
"Roy?"
"Yes," I replied, and looked at her.
She was put off by my flat response, or maybe my face. My headache was starting to feel like it was trying to kill me, and the sick feeling in my stomach was getting sharper. Something was not setting well with me, and I couldn't tell what it was.
"Did you know? I'm just worried if they're pressuring you, or if someone's blackmailing you, or..."
I didn't answer. I went to the datapad again, and back to the pictures. The first one, that one looked familiar. It didn't occur to me that not that long ago I wouldn't have been able to tell any asari apart from each other. I opened the dossier, and it hit me immediately. Known associate of Matriarch Benezia. I remembered her. It took me a while, it must had been a good two years since it happened. Not long after my first meeting with Benezia.
Shit. Were all of them working for Benezia? What the hell was she trying to do?
"Are you liste-"
"Who do you work for? Really, who," I interrupted.
Maybe I was paranoid. Maybe it was the headache. Or maybe it was the fact that suddenly I felt like I was out of my depth and I had no idea who to trust. I didn't understand what the hell was happening. I hadn't put it together until Marie had given me that datapad. What they were trying to accomplish anyway? And Shiala. That fucking hurt too.
And so there I was. Now my head was screaming about everyone and everything. And there was Marie. Who had handed me that very convenient datapad.
"I already told you, we work with the Systems Alliance and we help with -"
"No," I interrupted her again. "Who."
Marie seemed somewhat put off by my response, but with the pounding headache threatening to pop my eyeballs out, I was fast running out of patience. She looked like she was doing some mental calculation, which put me even more on edge. It was a lie. Everything was a lie. I had gone to Benezia to try and change the future. Because the future was the end of the world. Now I wasn't sure what Benezia was doing. Or Shiala. And looking at Marie, I didn't even know what she was doing.
And it turned out I didn't know what Marie was doing either. That pause. That doubtful look.
She had been fucking lying to me.
"I'm not lying," she said.
Bullshit.
"We really work with the Systems Alliance," she continued. "We're part of a bigger group called Cerberus. Our mission is to..."
She kept talking, but I couldn't hear. The pounding in my head had gotten so bad it felt like something was digging through the back of my eyeball, and my ears, all I could hear was a high pitched buzzing tone. The datapad clattered against the floor when I dropped it, and I put the hands to my head, pressing hard against it.
"Roy!"
There were a million ideas in my head trying to break through the pain, but none of them managed to escape. It was too much of a jumble. Cerberus. Marie was with Cerberus. The implications were endless. The questions, just as bad. Why. How long. What did they want. What did they know. Everything. It was too much.
The only thing I could put together was a pair of words.
"Get out," I said.
"What? Roy!" Marie replied, grabbing my arm.
"GET OUT!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.
I couldn't even look up. Even the yell had been hard to do. I don't know when she let go. Or when she left. I couldn't think. I couldn't do anything.
All I knew was that nothing made sense anymore. And that I was in agony.
For Liara, the encounter with her mother had given her a lot to think. It had not been as bad as she had feared. It had been less than she had hoped. A lot had gone unsaid, but she doubted that there would have been enough time in the world to say everything she had wanted to say. She had spent the whole trip from Mars to Thessia making a list, everything she always wanted to say, everything that had been hurting. She was now spending the trip back thinking of everything she had not said.
It was the main reason why she had taken the unlisted flight back. She needed a long time by herself. Despite their protests, she had ditched her bodyguards, or at least most of them. The pilot was one of them, it was the only way she had managed to shake them off.
She hadn't even managed to get that done by herself.
"Silly girl," she muttered to herself. "Stop it."
There was no reason to complain. She might not have said many things she had wanted to say, but there were things she had managed not to say which she was happy to have kept quiet about. She didn't want her mother to think she had gotten to her. She had managed to stay restrained when Benezia had proposed the project. If it was anything like the last one, she couldn't imagine what it could be. It couldn't be better than a working Prothean VI on a long lost planet, could it?
She would have to wait. Maybe she should start getting Eva more involved and free some time to write her dissertation on the Prothean extinction. Aethyta had recommended not to talk about the Reapers - which she didn't disagree with - but everything else was fair game. The Protheans did not create the the relay network. The Protheans did not build the Citadel. And she was in the enviable position of being able to present the facts and sources, and watch the reactions from everyone else. There was going to be a scramble to grab the information and run with it, established experts would grab it and try to push it towards their own research to salvage reputations. And they were going to be wrong. Everyone was so wrong about the Protheans. Even herself.
All she had to do was wait and choose whose reputations she was going to destroy.
The thought brought back the conversation she had with her mother. Get even, but don't overdo it. She surprised herself when the thought didn't make her angry. Normally, those intrusive thoughts made her feel some anger, it felt almost like her mother was still trying to control her life even after everything that had separated them.
Maybe it was Aethyta. Her father had a very different attitude towards Benezia than she had ever imagined anyone could have. It had been refreshing to talk with her about her mother.
The descent towards Mars woke her up from her mental wandering. It was a very brief transition, the atmosphere of that planet was exceedingly thin. She twisted on her chair as the shuttle shook, and a few minutes later they flew in through the hangar mass effect field.
"We have arrived," the pilot called. Kalane, that's right. One of the younger members of the commandos Aethyta had assigned to her. "It's dead quiet out there."
"Thank you Kalane," Liara replied absently.
She wanted a shower and some food. She didn't even register what Kalane had said. The hangar was deserted, and her steps on the metal floor echoed through the space without any other sound to break the monotonous cadence. When she moved into the actual compound, the complete silence became too obvious even for her tired mind. The real security was in the bunker with the beacon, but even so, the residential compound always had some people around. And none of her commandos were anywhere to be seen either.
This is not right.
"Kalane, are you there?" Liara called through the comms.
No answer.
She opened her omni-tool and went through frequencies. Signals were being blocked. With increasing anxiety, she hit the private channel as she started running towards her unit. Something wasn't right. The line crackled to life, and what sounded like static at first she soon identified as the sound of gunfire.
"Kalane!"
"Mist-" *Kzzt* "-ger! Hostiles inb-"
Liara was already running as fast as she could. Turning a corner she ran into the first real signs of what might have happened. A splash of blue blood on a wall. Another around the corner, that one red. No bodies, but clear signs of battle. She finally arrived at her room, and hit the door release with her omni-tool before running inside.
She was punched in the chest as soon as she walked in. Twice. She was thrown against the wall, and the world started spinning around her. Her eyes fell on the person on the other side of the room. Eva. Eva was standing there, looking as flabbergasted as Liara was. She was holding a gun, pointing it at her.
"Eva?" she said.
She slid down to the ground, her feet unable to keep her upright. It was hard to speak. And she didn't sound right. Blue. She put her hand on her chest, and it came back covered in blood.
"Wha..." she muttered.
The gun clattered on the floor and Eva rushed to her, falling to her knees in front of Liara.
"Why... Why are you here!" she yelled.
There was panic in that voice. Liara tried to answer, but couldn't. When she tried to prop herself up, her hand slipped on her blood, and she fell on her side.
"Eva..." Liara muttered.
She didn't hear anything back at first. Eva stood up and ran, she didn't know where. She came back soon, and dropped something on the ground. Even in her state, Liara recognized the portable terminal. The stripped-down copy of Vigil. Eva took Liara's hand and put it on the biometric reader, and pushed her head towards the retinal scanner. All the while, she could hear the human sobbing, and muttering the same thing over and over.
"I'm so sorry... so sorry..."
Author's Notes: I think I'm starting to run into trouble with the multi-threaded chapters here, everything seems to be coming out disjointed, and it's starting to feel like pulling teeth out. Main reason, believe it or not? I hate doing bad things to my characters. I swear I do. So yeah, when SHTF it's always hard. Also, this whole chapter is made of cliffhangers, but I realized as I got to the last scene that either I did it like this, or it was going to be about 15k words and take even longer to come out! Next one will unravel the whole gordian knot.
So, now you know why Marie was put in a tight timeline to poke Roy, and by inference, how Miranda seems to have connected many of the dots. I look forward to her showing up next chapter, just because the scene is quite amusing in my head.
Also, poor Liara. She's the Woobie of my fics, every time.
Reviews! You've been waiting a long time, thank you so much!
BJ Hanssen: Thanks man! It's always hard for me with the action scenes, too much detail and it drags on, too little and it's confusing.
trollblut, AlsoKnownAsMatt, Zeru'Xil: The full story about this battle's going to come up soon and from a probably unexpected source. It's a whole lot of things coming to a head at the same time, I hope I can deliver!
AraelStannis: Romance looks iffy at the moment, doesn't it?
Uemei: Hahaha! I wonder if I can slip that in somewhat soon-ish given the nearby developments. Ah, Goldie, she's such a fun character to write. Because behind that happy-happy exterior you can tell she's certifiable and there's something that isn't quite right.
Guest: I don't think Roy reacted well to Cerberus! :D
Zenog: Not wrong, it's just that the crew of the Dreadnought were not the best the Hierarchy had to offer. Not even the Turians are immune to elitism!
V-rcingetorix: We're all products of history, in the case of the Asari the customs come from history - they're great at remembering it! That's why they're so stuck in their ways.
D72: Good ol' Cerberus, if only you knew... Well, eventually you'll know, hehe. Thanks for the thumbs up!
trollblut (again! :D): Jack'll come (will she ever!) but she's still a bit on the young side.
Almost a Shadow: Thanks! Turians have way too much pull to really be in hot mater, but it's not something that can be swept under the rug really.
Natrim: That'd sure mess with Miranda, specially if one considers how she can't have kids and it's something she always wanted. Just to twist the knife a bit more. Of course, the real way to get to Miranda is- Wait, that's a spoiler!
Raikaguken: So far, he's getting paired with nobody... There's no pre-announced pairing for him (or anyone really, other than Benezia and Aethyta!).
The Invisible Pretender: The clairvoyance is strong in this one.
coduss: Oh baby, will he ever :D
BladeRy: Sorry in advance... Well, you can see where that's going to go (gotta get worse before it gets better!).
SeverlyLate: If you're still here, I hope it got better!
FluxBlade: Poor Roy :D I don't think I'll be able to top this one up! Not sure if I should try though, it starts to strain suspension of disbelief if I push much further in that direction. And yes, Cerberus is very fragmented (by design), which will make things interesting in the future :)
Lioness075: Welcome back! Thanks for the support :)
Guest (Chapter 11): I'm not sure where you're getting that ME-universe weapons hit targets instantly with no deviation. As explained in the codex, Mass Effect-accelerated guns are railguns, they work by accelerating ammunition to high speeds (aided by the lowering of the ammo's mass) but are limited by recoil (so there's a limit on how much energy they can put on a bullet). How fast is "instant" for you? Given a range of 2km, at maximum supersonic speed, it'll take over a second for the bullet to hit the target. At maximum hypersonic speed, it'll still be over half a second. High-hypersonic? Quarter of a second at best. A quarter of a second flight time means about a foot of drop using standard gravity. More likely, though, at high hypersonic speeds a tiny bullet will simply vaporize before it reaches the target (if you go any higher than high-hypersonic you enter the range of re-entry speeds, friction will destroy the tiny bullets in no time at all at those speeds, plus the fact that anything that flies at those speeds has to have a blunt configuration, and good luck being accurate with a blunt shaped bullet at sniper range). Yes, ships in the ME universe shoot at about 1-2% of the speed of light (it's the only actual quote on speed we're ever given in-game). In space. There's no way infantry railguns are capable of shooting anywhere near that (otherwise you'd reduce entire buildings to rubble every time a shot misses or is deflected by a kinetic barrier, and no "ablative ceramic coat" would be able to stop a single bullet, ever, nevermind the fact that the recoil would rip your arm off and kill anyone standing behind you). So if you make the very reasonable assumption that the shots will be somewhere in the supersonic to hypersonic range (as fast as possible for something that'll recoil against your body, and slow enough the bullet won't simply vaporize), at multi-km ranges, the bullet will have a drop, and will definitely be affected by the atmosphere. Even if you go ridiculous and go for the top end of high-hypersonic and assume the bullets will survive fine and fly true, you still have a drop.
wormrepo: Thanks for the in-depth thoughts! You're not wrong about Roy's romatic future being iffy (very iffy, you have probably caught what the next blow-up will be). It's not impossible to come back, but it will be a hell of a challenge. DEFINITELY not handwaving it away. (If anything, Shepard's got more of a chance since he's got other reasons why he trusts her so completely). As far as Liara and Eva, Cerberus are quite capable of getting a fake background for an operative, specially for one who's going to be working with the most important military asset in the Systems Alliance. One thing to remember which might not have been too clear is that Roy has always been reluctant to show the entire list of memories to anyone (first because he believed that anyone seeing this was just a game for him in another universe would be a disaster, and doubly so since his FUBAR encounter with the Rachni queen). Benezia most definitely does not have all the details. That said, your point is well taken, so you can expect some discussion around that between Benezia and Aethyta. Well, "discussion".
As for the other plot threads, one thing I like to do is assume an unreliable narrator point of view (i.e., Roy doesn't have the full picture, and I provide snippets to update on how other plot lines might have progressed. For example, not long ago I had that scene where Benezia was at a party and had a cold conversation with another Matriarch, that was written with the idea of showcasing that the rest of the Asari aren't simply sitting there twiddling her thumbs while Benezia amasses power. At least that's the idea, doesn't mean it's executed perfectly, so your comments are well taken, thanks a lot!
(Cerberus itself is another kettle of fish; they've got their tentacles everywhere, and before all this, they were the only option Roy had to save Shepard should ME2 events come to pass. Kei Lang isn't even through N training yet, too, he graduates in '76; he's also my least favourite character of the ME franchise, but that's neither here nor there, hehe. I've got plans for him on Convergence, oh do I ever).
solarisacorn: I was even later with this chapter, thanks for the review!
Tusken1602, general-joseph-dickson, 5 Coloured Walker, Kamika111, Toothless is best, fuzzyidioms, Andril, R3dRaven, Leante, OSR fanatic, I read every review and thank you all for taking the time to support me. Thanks indeed!
Next chapter we have some arguments and the hilarious Miranda/Marie scene I had planned but was dragging too much to be included in this chapter. As always, thanks for reading!