The Uncanny Kid Razor

To todd fan: Hey there, todd fan! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, I'm glad you got a giggle out of that. Actually, to get the whole reason behind the Husk/cowboy hat jokes, read Uncanny R-Man's "Uncanny XSE". That story and this one are in the same universe. It explains the whole thing. Enjoy the new chapter, and I can hardly wait for new chapters of "Fourteenth Century Man", and "Gifts and Curses".

To mattb3671: Hey there, matt! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Oh yeah, an English radio station is going to do something incredibly bloody insane: Give Razor a microphone. Enjoy the new chapter!

To The Uncanny R-Man: Hey there, R-Man! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! I was glad to use it and mention your other stuff. This story is part of that universe, after all. I'm not sure how Razor would react to August, but I'm sure he'd get some good laughs from Lady Helen, and probably from Demona, too. I'd like to see Amora meet Demona, and clear up some of the misconceptions she has about Thor and Loki. Yeah, at least the fight is over. It was a funny one to do. Enjoy the new chapter!

To Aaron: Hey there, Aaron! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Yeah, Razor and Steppenwolf just did what they did best: Fight. And whenever Kid Razor fights, weird things do happen sometimes. Razor's willing to brawl anywhere, and at any time. Enjoy the new chapter!

To Red Witch: Hey there, Red Witch! Nice to hear from you again! I'm very glad you liked the last chapter! Poor Razor, still the apple of the eye of Ramada. Enjoy the new chapter!

Disclaimer: "Can we keep her?" - Michelangelo on April O'Neil, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Chapter 36: Turn Up The Radio!

Seattle, Washington

"Baaaa-da-da-da-da" A young voice sang out. It belonged to a teenage boy who flew past the Space Needle. The source was a sleek-bodied kid. He was dressed in a dark blue costume with a dark blue metallic chestplate with blue and silver highlights and matching metal forearm bands with built-in gauntlets. The bands had a pair of futuristic blasters mounted on them. The back of the chestplate was attached to a futuristic-looking jetpack. The jetpack had jointed silver metallic bird-like wings that occasionally flapped. The chest plate had a chest emblem of a blue "W" with silver wings. The costume was open at the top of the head, revealing curly black hair, and it had a pair of built-in blue visor-like goggles, covering dark brown eyes. "WHOO YEAH! AOW!" The boy cried out, doing a loop-de-loop. His name was Jeffrey Dutt, but in the superhero game, he was Winger, the defender of Seattle. Of mixed African-American/Indian descent, Winger was the son of a test pilot of an aviation company. Winger first donned the experimental winged jetpack/costume he now wears when he helped Kid Razor rescue his father from corporate rivals. In fact, it was Razor who first christened him Winger. The costume and jetpack allowed Winger to live his dream of flight. The electronics in his costume picked up a transmission on he police band.

"All units, high-speed pursuit in progress."

"Alright!" Winger grinned. "Time for the King of the Skies to protect his people! OH YEAH!" The cocky fun-loving young hero dived downwards to street level. A car raced down the street, pursued by several police cars belonging to Seattle's Finest. A criminal peeked out of the car and looked up.

"Oh my God! Fellas! It's that metal-feathered windbag Winger!" He warned loudly.

"Blast that jerkoff right out of the sky!" The driver snapped. The criminal pulled out a futuristic bazooka, and starting blasting at Winger with golden energy bursts. Winger easily dodged them. When one was about to hit him, a dark blue aura appeared around his body, dispersing the blast.

"Nice try, fellas! But in the air, Winger rules!" Winger laughed. He pointed his blasters at the back of the car, with help from an aiming system in his goggles, and he fired a pair of white energy beams from his blasters. The blasters hit the tear tires of the crooks' getaway car, causing them to blow out, and the car to skid to a stop. "Alright, now for the big landing!" Winger grinned.

WHAM!

"WHAAAA!" Winger screamed as a repulsor ray hit him in his aura-protected side.

A radio station in London, England

"Alright! Thank you very much!" An English DJ who appeared to be dressed up like a hippie hooted into a microphone. "Hello, London! Welcome to the Mad Ian Interview Hour! I am Mad Ian, and I'd like to welcome three very special guests to me show!" The three guests were sitting at a table, in front of microphones, and all were wearing headphones.

"I still don't understand why we're here. We're reserve members of Excalibur." A blond man in a black uniform whispered to his companion. His black-gloved hands revealed he had three fingers (not counting thumbs) on each hand. The uniform had a yellow eight-pointed star on his left breast, black boots, and a sash filled with daggers. His name was Longshot, an extradimensional stuntman and former X-Man with the power to give himself good luck.

"I think Meggan wants to give us some exposure." A gold-skinned man answered. He was dressed in a nice suit. Born scientist Mark Raxton, he was known as the Molten Man, a former enemy of Spider-Man, but he reformed years ago and occasionally helped the wall-crawler. His gold skin made him very difficult to grasp, as well as very strong and durable, and he could generate intense heat and flame. He was constantly adjusting his headphones because they kept trying to slip off his head.

"Meh." Razor shrugged. "The Kid of Rock can't complain. He loves giving interviews."

"With me, I have three reserve members of the newest incarnation of England's resident super-team: Excalibur!" Mad Ian whooped. "Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to Longshot…"

"Nice to be here." Longshot waved.

"The Molten Man…"

"Greetings." Raxton nodded.

"And of course, Cleveland, USA's very own Kid "Rock 'n' Roll" Razor."

"Thank you, thank you." Razor chuckled. "Great to be here. Can the Kid of Rock get paid now?" Mad Ian chuckled.

"Yeah, we heard about your interviews, Razor. They are legendary. Anyway, how do you guys like England so far?"

"Very nice country." Raxton smiled. "This country seems to fit all three of us in a way. For me, it was very wonderful seeing all the museums."

"The Kid of Rock's always loved England." Razor chuckled. "How can the Kid of Rock hate England? England gave the world Iron Maiden, the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, Queen, Judas Priest, it's all good!"

"I'm glad to be anywhere besides my home." Longshot answered. "I had a bad time there."

"No kidding." Razor rolled his eyes. "The Kid of Rock's asked around."

"And how do you guys feel about being members of Excalibur?" Mad Ian inquired.

"Being a member of a super-team is not a new experience for me." Longshot answered. "I was once in the X-Men."

"Speaking of X-Men, the Kid of Rock once heard a rumor about Husk and Archangel and the cowboy hat." Razor snickered.

"I wouldn't be surprised." Longshot shrugged with a chuckle, crossing his arms. "Things can get pretty crazy in that mansion." Raxton scrunched his golden face.

"Isn't that Husk girl a little young for that kind of activity?"

"She's a little older than me." Razor grunted. "And to answer your question Ian, the Kid of Rock was never really into super-teams, to be honest. He was always more concerned about protecting his hometown from the bad guys."

"This is actually my first time in any super-team in any capacity." Raxton answered. "We're reserve members. That means that if the main active members of Excalibur need help, they can contact us. I helped out during the whole thing with Dormammu, but that's really been it for me since." (1)

"Dormammu?" Mad Ian blinked.

"Some jackass who eats dimensions." Razor smirked. "Made him cry like a little girl."

"I…see…" Mad Ian blinked.

"I wasn't there for that one." Longshot grinned. "I joined up afterward."

"And speaking of you, Mr. Shot…" Ian started.

"It's just Longshot." Longshot corrected.

"Is it true that you are dating the singer Alison Blaire, the Dazzler?"

"You can hear her screaming his name all the way across the damn pond." Razor snickered. "And you don't even need to have superhuman hearing."

"Oh, shut up Razor." Longshot groaned. "You know, a lot of super-teams don't want Razor in their ranks."

"They're just jealous because the Kid of Rock is so cool." Razor grinned smugly.

"No. Female members don't like the fact that you never look at their faces when you talk to them." Raxton quipped.

"Oh yeah, like you didn't get ideas when you see the Scarlet Witch in that red gypsy outfit of hers." Razor rolled his eyes with a laugh and a smile.

"Not to mention your infamous mouth and your tendency to take the spotlight." Longshot added.

"The Kid of Rock is all about stealin' the thunder, baby!" Razor laughed. "And the Kid of Rock is one of those people who always speaks his mind."

"No matter who you annoy in the process." Raxton rolled his eyes.

Next: What's Going On Here? In Seattle and Cincinnati, Winger, Sonic Blue, and Frog-Man get attacked by what appears to be members of the East and West Coast Avengers. Is something sinister behind it?

(1) - See "Uncanny Excalibur"