Chapter 36

His hands rested on his hips, his jaw set, his forehead creased into a frown, and his steel-cold eyes directed to the house across from him. Kid had stood rooted in front of his house for over fifteen minutes… exactly since he had seen Jimmy disappear into Lou's house. The image was not unfamiliar to Kid because from time to time Jimmy dropped by her place to bring her something from school. Kid did not know why Mrs. Dunne did not ask him to do the job when he lived closer to Lou. That would have been the perfect excuse to approach her, and straighten up their situation, but Kid suspected that Lou had told Mrs. Dunne not to involve him in this.

Things had not changed since the last time Lou and he had talked. She had promised they would have a conversation, but it had not happened. Kid was very upset about this situation, and whenever he saw his best friend go into the house of the girl Kid loved, he could not help but feel irritated. He tried to control his jealously, but today he had lost all sense. School was over and today they would have the ceremony of graduation. So why on earth did Jimmy possibly have to call on Lou today?

Imagining Lou and Jimmy might have gotten closer in these past few weeks drove Kid crazy. Maybe they had discovered they wanted to be more than friends. He even got to think that Lou had broken up with him for this very reason, because she had shifted her affections to somebody else. Now Lou and Jimmy were free, and of course Kid knew he had no right to question their acts. Yet, he could not help but feel betrayed. Lou was his girl. Even though they were broken up, he still felt they were a couple. They had not sorted out their matters yet. Everything was in the air, and Lou had not even had the courtesy to explain things to him. She should have talked to him before getting involved with somebody else, and for the sake of their friendship, Jimmy should have kept away from her.

Kid knew he was unfair in his reasoning. Jimmy had no reason to respect their friendship when they had not exchanged a word in months. Even though Kid had intended to solve the rocky situation with his friend, he had not done it. Kid hated to find himself in this position, but now suspecting that there might be something going on between Jimmy and Lou, Kid did not feel moved to do anything to smooth things. Actually, he did not know how he could act about this if what he thought was true.

Lou's front door finally opened and Jimmy stepped out. Without thinking about it twice, Kid resolutely marched towards his friend. The dark-haired teenager was clearly surprised to see him, especially when in a very irritated voice Kid asked, "What were you doing in there?"

"Wh… what?" Jimmy clumsily let out.

"Answer me, Jimmy. Tell me what you were doing at Lou's place."

"I went to see her," Hickok replied breezily.

"What for? School is finished."

Jimmy realized what there was behind Kid's angered words, and decided to play for a while, and make things a bit difficult. "What do you think I was doing? You know beautiful girls are my weakness, and Louise is very pretty."

Kid's face hardened and he felt sick to his stomach. "What… what are you saying?"

"Just what you're thinking. In any case, what's it to you? Whatever Lou and I do is none of your business. She isn't your girl anymore, is she?"

Kid shook his head slowly, feeling a sudden desire to cry. He needed to go, and without a single word, he turned round from his friend and started to shuffle back to his house.

"Kid!" Jimmy called and ran to catch up with his friend. "For goodness' sake! There's nothing between me and Lou, you fool! I just came to pass on a message from Mrs. Dunne. She wants Lou to attend tonight's thing. Just that."

Kid felt so relieved that he was unable to hide it. "But she isn't going, is she?"

"She says she can't," Jimmy added, surprised by the certainty his friend showed.

Kid nodded. "Jimmy, please forgive me about before. I… I'm just going crazy. I miss her so much and I'm afraid of losing her forever."

"Something tells me she feels the same as you."

"Why? Did she say something?" Kid asked instantly, his heart filling with hope.

Jimmy shook his head. "No, but she turns all serious, and her eyes get kind of teary whenever I happen to mention your name."

"Then why won't she talk to me? I don't even know why we broke up," Kid let out, sounding frustrated and defeated.

"Women are complicated, that's all I can say."

Kid smiled sadly. "I just need to sort out things with Lou before I leave."

"You're leaving tomorrow, aren't you?" Kid nodded, and Jimmy added, "Good luck with that. You don't have much time left."

"Thanks," Kid was about to turn, but thought better of it. "Uh, Jimmy, I… there's also another matter I would like to sort out. This stuff between us. This has been going on for too long, and it's stupid."

Jimmy gave him a crooked smile. "Yes, you're right… for once." He stretched his hand to his friend. "So pals again?"

Kid did not answer, and just accepted his offering of peace, smiling and shaking his hand energetically. Jimmy then added, "You know something? Your pretty Lou pulled us apart, and now she kind of brought us together again."

The comment made Kid frown unhappily. "Lou didn't have anything to do with what happened between us."

"Yes, I know. It was my fault, but that's what everybody says, even our families."

Kid nodded morosely. "It was also my fault. I hate it when people talk about things they have no idea about," he said, bringing to mind all the times his mom had repeated what Jimmy had pointed out, even though he kept saying Lou had no part in his problems with his friend.

"Well, Kid, cheer up now. And let me buy you some lunch. We need to celebrate that at least one of us gets to graduate. How about that?"

"I'm sorry this year didn't work out for you," Kid replied sincerely. Jimmy had not been able to catch up with his studies after all his problems with Rosemary Burke, and his passive attitude in those months had not helped either.

"Don't be," Jimmy said, dismissing his friend's words. "Another year here will do me good before launching my charms to the rest of the world." Kid laughed and Jimmy added, "Come on, let's get some grub. I'm starving."

"And remember it's your treat. Don't try to get out of it later," Kid teased him as they started walking side by side.

"When have I done that?"

"Oh many times… so many I couldn't keep count."

The two friends laughed and continued their banter as they made their way down the street. Meanwhile, a couple of eyes followed them and a smile shone in her face at the familiar image of the two boys. Things were definitely getting better, Emma thought as she stood at the window. Kid had gradually gained back what he had lost: his good grades, his friends, his life. Emma told herself she had been in the right about Louise. It was clear that she had exerted a bad influence on him for too many moths, and once she was out of the picture, things had returned to normal. Emma felt bad for Kid because he looked very low lately. Emma understood that at his age he got too attached to people, but she hoped he would get over the girl soon. There would be others for him, and Emma knew that their time away in the summer would help Kid to forget Louise, and then college would finish the job. Yes, things were definitely right.

The moon was shining in the black sky, which made Kid remember a similar night he had and Lou had spent together. That time it had been very cold, which differed from tonight greatly since the air around him was warm and muggy. Kid untied the bowtie around his neck, and undid the button on the collar of his white shirt, while he resolutely crossed the street.

The graduation ceremony had finished over an hour ago, and he had left as soon as he could sneak away. Everybody was in a cheerful mood, but Kid had been unable to join the spirit. Speech after speech had succeeded, but he had hardly heard a single word. Instead, his eyes were drawn to the empty seat that should have been taken by Lou. That vacant seat meant so much: her family problems, her isolation, and especially her absence from his life. That was why all this paraphernalia of graduation meant so little to him today.

After the ceremony, Kid had done what was expected from him: smile happily, pose for a few pictures with his parents and friends, and he had even stayed to have a little celebration with the guys. But then he had excused himself, and had walked away.

Now it was the time for his last chance. He had to talk to Lou once more, and make use of all his potential and ammunition. He could not lose without fighting. As he finally stood before her door, he breathed in deeply before pressing the doorbell. He noticed the light in the hall being switched on, and almost straightaway the door opened, and Lou appeared before him.

"Kid…" she whispered, her face registering the surprise she felt.

"Hi, Lou." There was a pause during which both of them remained in awkward silence. "How… how's your mom?" he finally asked.

"The same," she said, her profound, sparkling eyes staring into his unblinkingly. "At least, she's not worse."

Kid nodded, but kept silent. Even though he had mentally rehearsed many times what he wanted to tell her, he was now speechless. Everything seemed too frivolous and unimportant at this moment compared to the reality she had at home. It was Lou who broke the silence finally.

"I… I thought you'd be celebrating with your friends."

"I brought your diploma," he said, stretching his hand to her. "Mrs. Dunne asked me to," he added, not wanting her to think he was pestering her. She had no reasons to believe he was a pest since he had left her alone all this time. Of course, the truth was that he had been the one who had asked Mrs. Dunne, but Lou did not need to know that.

"Thanks," she replied, taking the paper from him. She had a brief look at it and left it on the cabinet in the hall. It was no wonder Mrs. Dunne had kind of forced this encounter with Kid. When Lou went to see the teacher for her weekly tutorials, she always asked her about how things were with Kid, and encouraged her to talk to him. Lou had really meant to mind her, but she always chickened out even though she had promised Kid they would talk things through.

Lou smiled uncomfortably and added, "I heard you're going to Stanford in September. I'm really happy for you."

Kid was glad she was not brushing him off like other times. "What about you, Lou? What are your plans?"

Louise shook her head. "I can't study now. My mom needs me. I might take a full-time job. Despite the help we're getting lately, things aren't easy."

"Your siblings are still with your father?"

Louise nodded. "I don't like it. My mom wanted us to be together no matter what, but there's nothing I can do. The social worker made a report about us, and concluded my siblings had to be with my father and his wonderful wife. A report… a damn paper meddling in our life, judging us!"

"I'm so sorry."

"Well, that's the way things are," she said, sounding resigned and sullen. "I don't like thinking about the future. It's too scary, but who knows? Maybe one day when Mom gets better, I'll be able to complete my education."

"And what about us? What about our future?" Kid blurted out without a second thought.

"Kid…"

"Lou, I love you… so much that nothing else matters to me. You can't imagine how tortuous this time without you has been. Please Lou, if I did something wrong, forgive me. Whatever I did, I never meant to hurt you. Please forgive me. This is enough for a punishment. Please."

Louise hated to see him so upset, especially since he was blaming himself for the failure of their relationship. Their love story had not really failed; it had been the influence of others, especially her own. "Kid, you didn't do anything wrong."

"Then come back to me. Nobody will love you as much as I do."

Before Lou could react, she found his lips caressing hers in an intense, intoxicating kiss. As soon as his familiar touch surprised her, she succumbed to his ministrations and her mouth eagerly strained to taste what she had missed so much. She longed for him so deeply that her will had stopped existing right from the very first moment he had taken her in his arms. Her mind was devoid of anything but him, his caresses, his kisses, his whole self.

However, little by little Lou started to realize what was happening. This felt so right, so perfect, but she knew she could not mislead Kid when she was still too confused. There was no doubt in her heart that she wanted to be with him, but she could not forget the reality that, according to Mrs. Cain, she had not seen and had done Kid too much damage.

Lou slowly slid her hands from his neck to his chest, and gently pushed him away. "Please, Kid, stop."

The way she had responded to his kisses told Kid that she still cared and felt encouraged to use everything in his power to gain her back. There was too much at stake, the person he loved most, and he was not going to let her slip from his life without putting up a fight. He had been too passive during these weeks, but now it was time he showed her what he was ready to do for her. "Lou, let me say it again. I love you, and I'd do anything for you. I'd willingly give up on everything for you and your love. You're all I cared about."

"Kid, I know, and…"

"Marry me, Lou," he blurted out and at her stunned expression, he added, "Let's get married. I don't need to go to university. I just want you. We can get married and I can also find a job… to provide for you… for us and your family. I know I can make you happy."

At his words Lou panicked. This was insane. Kid could not ruin his bright future for her. She could not allow it. "Kid, no! You aren't thinking straight. You've worked so hard this year… you've even managed to beat Mrs. Burke. You just can't throw all that overboard. You're going to Stanford and become a brilliant biologist one day. Please make me proud. I'm rooting for you," she said, brushing her hand up and down his arms encouragingly.

Kid gave her a sad smile. "I also worked hard for us."

"You're going to be hundreds of miles away. You'll live other experiences, meet other girls… somebody very special will probably sweep off your feet and…"

"I already met that somebody, you," he whispered, caressing with the back of his hand. "And I don't care how far we are from each other. I know asking you to marry me is not the answer. It was daft of me, but please come back to me. Love me again like you used to. We can make this work, because what we have is real."

"I don't want to drag you into my problems. I can't run from them, but you can … that's an option I don't have."

"Lou, do you love me?" he asked, cutting her off. Lou stared at him silently. There was no way she could lie to him about her feelings, so she ended up nodding her answer. Kid smiled, and added, "Then let me show you how serious I am about this. I promise you won't regret it."

Lou sighed tiredly. "Let me think about it, all right."

"Lou, I'm leaving with my parents tomorrow, remember?"

Louise bobbed her head up and down. She knew this was something his parents had planned a long time ago, a treat before Kid left their nest. "You're going to Europe for the summer."

"I really don't want to go, and leave you here, but I can't say no to my parents. I wish you could come with me."

"You'll have fun. This time will give us time to think. Maybe one day you'll show me all those places you're going to see."

Kid smiled, clearly pleased by her words. "Do you really mean that?"

"Just let me think, okay?"

"I'll call you, Lou, whenever I can."

"I know you will."

"And will you give me an answer when I come back? I'll be here for a few days before heading for California."

"You'll have your answer then."

Kid smiled again and leaning over, he gave her a soft kiss on her cheek. "I can't wait to see you again. Remember I love you."

Without one more word Kid turned around and started towards his house. He hated goodbyes, especially when he had to go away and leave Lou behind. All he hoped was that time flew by and then he would be back for her. Hopefully, things would return to the way they had been before, and Lou and he would be a couple again. That was what he wished for most. Even though he would be living far away, he was positive they could keep their love intact. Distance will not quench his passion, he was sure.

Louise stood at the door, seeing him walk away with mixed feelings. She really did not have much to think about. She was sure of what she wanted; she wanted him, and right now she did not care what Mrs. Cain or anybody else thought. They loved each other, and she knew she could not be as biased as she had been made to believe. Mrs. Dunne was right. Nobody could meddle in her relationship; it was obvious that letting others dictate only led to heartache and suffering. Her heart told Lou she was doing the right thing. These long weeks without Kid would be too hard, but unlike these last ones, there was a light flickering in the distance. She had something to look forward to, a hope. Lou was already missing him, but she knew he would return to her, and she would be waiting for him with open arms.