"Close Protection"
Disclaimer – As usual I own nothing but a large amount of debt, a severe lack of talent and a distinct lack of awesomeness!
Certainly nothing to do with Skins, (which still makes me very upset but not as much as before).
Authors Note – I know it's late, I'm sorry. I have three excuses that I can offer. 1. I'm not at all well right now, I seem to have caught the bug that's spreading around Twitter (-: 2. It's been my busiest week in work for months and I've barely had a lunch hour worth speaking of to type anything, and finally...
3. It's all LadyHawk1709's fault, she had to say that this story is now fluffy; and as my failure to update PfP regularly testifies, I'm not in the right frame of mind for fluffy. Swimming and guns will now not feature in this story as punishment (-:
Hope that you enjoy this chapter, sorry if the title startled you, all will become clear, (hopefully).
Chapter 34 – Death of Me.
"So, Naomi; how did things go yesterday?"
I stared at the woman opposite me who simply stared back, her look radiating confidence and calm.
"Why don't you tell me?" I replied shortly.
"Because I'm not psychic Naomi, I'm just a good observer."
"So what's your famous observational talent telling you then Joanna?"
Yes it's childish, but from the moment I pulled up outside I'd felt a real annoyance at Joanna Foster and her fucking games. She'd played me totally yesterday, played me like a prize pillock and left me to deal with the outcome of her manipulations.
"Well," she said sitting back in her chair and steeping her fingers, reminding me vividly of Emily making the same motions last night in her flat.
"Well," she said again smiling, "I'd say that you were brave last night and did as I suggested, I think you got an answer you weren't expecting and for some reason I'd say you're a little pissed off at me."
I sat back in my chair, mimicking her motions deliberately, holding her eye contact and slipping into my interrogators attitude, my eyes cool and unyielding.
"What makes you think that any of that is true?" I asked.
"Because you're trying to hide behind that attitude of yours, and because you're behaving differently to yesterday; but mostly because you seem both more relaxed and more stressed at the same time. I may be wrong, but I'm not wrong often Naomi."
She looked at me and folded her arms, "so go on then," she said challengingly; "tell me I'm wrong."
"You're wrong Joanna, " I told her smoothly, "I have nothing to hide and no reason to hide anything from you. I'm stressed because I'm here; worrying about what kind of a head-fuck you're going to attempt today, and I'm relaxed because I'm trying to find my safe place because that's what you want me to do."
"Bullshit!" She announced calmly after a long silence fell between us, "I think we both know that's bullshit. Or at least I know it is and I hope you do, because if you don't then we're in real trouble with this therapy, because if you can delude yourself that much then we're further back than I thought we were."
We stared at each other, our silent gladiatorial contest continuing as the minutes ticked inexorably away; sliding from the future, to the present and finally into the past. Gone forever, never to be repeated, just one more moment of lost time, one more thing to regret.
"So are you going to talk to me today Naomi?" Joanna asked softly, "because I think you need to tell me why you're annoyed at me otherwise we might as well end these sessions now and I'll recommend you to someone else. I'm sure Jenna won't mind, as long as someone is helping you."
"You fucking played me," I snapped; the mention of Jenna Fitch's name finally bringing me to my senses. After all she had arranged for me to have these sessions, gone out of her way to make sure that I got help. Despite my anger it did feel like a betrayal of a friend; and I didn't need another betrayal on my conscience.
"I played you?" she said in surprise. "How so?"
"Emily, you knew all about Emily; about her being gay, about everything. You fucking set me up," I accused, "it wasn't about being brave or any shit like that, you just set me up."
I petered out as she regarded me from across the room, unable to express what I thought I knew.
"You're right and you're wrong Naomi," she replied calmly, using her voice in that rhythmic way that she had the day before. Consciously, I tensed myself against its hypnotic nature; watching as she smiled slightly as my body tensed.
"You're right that I knew about Emily, of course I did. Emily has been a patient, a student and a friend over the years. So yes, I knew that her reaction wouldn't have been as dramatic as you thought it might be. You're wrong, however to accuse me of setting you up; I did what I did because it was necessary. Your relationship with Emily was never far from your mind, and I do believe that we cannot work together to ease your nightmares until you clear up your current situation with her. Is it any clearer now, as a result of your discussion last night?"
"How did you know it happened last night?" I asked suspiciously. "I've been with Emily all day, I could have discussed it with her then."
"Because I believe you're not the kind of person to dwell on tasks like that Naomi. I believe that you're the sort of person that would have gone straight from here to speak to Emily. I guess you'll have to tell me if I'm wrong there as well."
"You know I can't do that," I replied honestly, resigned to the knowledge that I wasn't going to win this, giving up my anger as Emily had predicted I would.
"I do, so tell me Naomi, is your situation with Emily any clearer now?"
"I don't know," I replied, "I think it's just as complicated, but differently complicated now. Does that make sense?"
"Not really Naomi, so why don't you tell me about it, perhaps talking it through with someone will help you make it clear."
o+o+o
The working day had been anything but complicated if I'm honest, I'd driven over to Emily's, the big Chelsea Tractor making the drive through London's endless traffic jam almost pleasurable; well as pleasurable as it can be when you're riding a clutch and dealing with dickheads that have no idea how to drive. I'd insisted that she ride in the blacked out back of the Range Rover, out of sight of anyone that might be looking in.
"Naomi this is ridiculous," she'd told me as I ushered her into the back, "what's going to happen to me in the front of the car?"
"Anything," I'd replied, "and I'm not taking the chance, not with the streets this busy. We're on the clock Miss Fitch, my rules remember?" I'd added as she'd made to protest, effectively silencing her with the words.
The rest of the day had gone, from my point of view, extremely smoothly. Emily had been in meetings all day, meetings that either entailed me sitting at the back of a room; or more commonly waiting in her office, or sat with Bonnie waiting to see if I was needed. I had busied myself for a lot of the time reading through the files that the Ops team had sent me, threat assessments and a full background on the Khuddam ul-Islam organisation. It was hardly fascinating reading, but it verified my comments to Emily before and after the weekend; the threats against her and the family were still valid, there was still a credible threat and there was no reason for us to lower our defences, not for a second.
Despite all that the day was reassuringly boring, I even managed to head out onto the familiar streets of the City to find myself something to eat, my duties being taken over by a burly Scotsman assigned to Fitch Industries by JJ. It was actually nice to be free, the realisation that I'd hardly had any time to myself over the last week hitting me hard as the sunlight cracked down through the tall buildings and onto my exposed face.
After lunch I bought myself a pair of expensive sunglasses, only to find myself being teased for them on the journey home by a tired sounding Emily.
"I can't believe you bought a set of Aviators, what a cliché!" Emily had said, chuckling at the gold rimmed frames that I'd slipped on to drive in the late Spring sunshine.
"Shush you," I'd told her as I swung the car into the traffic and began the slow crawl to her flat, "they're comfortable and they suit me."
"They do," she'd conceded, sitting back and smiling at me through the rear view mirror, "it's just they scream 'bodyguard' at you, they'd only be funnier if they were mirrored."
I'd replied by simply turning up the radio and feigning interest in the meaningless jabberings of the DJ on Radio 1, as they played some puerile manufactured pop record; the lack of meaningful talent sucking at my soul. The musical torture continued until me made it to St John's Wood and I turned off the engine, making a mental note to get some albums downloaded onto my phone so I could at least plug it into the car and listen to something I would like.
I'd escorted Emily up the stairs and checked her flat before turning to leave.
"Do you, erm, do you want to go and get something to eat Nomi?" she'd almost spewed out as I'd made my excuses and was about to leave.
"I've got another appointment Emily, with Joanna that is, I can't hang around."
"Oh, right…of course I forgot," she'd replied, sounding deflated at my words, "it's just I was hoping we could…"
"I could come around later," I'd said sensing her disappointment. I knew she'd had a tough day and a faint pang of guilt passed through me causing me to speak without really thinking. "We could go out somewhere or something..."
"What, like a real date?" she'd replied, "you really are feeling brave."
"Like dinner Emily, like two people just going for something to eat," I'd responded choosing my words carefully; not wanting to make it a date, but not wanting to make it a casual dismissal either. This taking things slowly being more awkward that I'd considered it might be.
"That's an idea, do you want me to get Darren to drive me around to yours? I guess you'll want to shower and change."
"Absolutely not," I'd practically shouted at her, "if anyone is driving you around it's me or one of my team. Darren's a nice guy, but he isn't qualified to deal with anything if it happens, not without one of us there."
"I love it when you're all protective Nomi," Emily had said, sidling up next to me.
"Yeah, well it's my job isn't it Miss Fitch?" I'd replied with a smirk, getting a slap on the arm as Emily shrieked in protest.
"Look I'd better be going, I don't want to be late for my appointment, Dr Foster has got some explaining to do and I'm not going to make her life easy."
"I wouldn't try and fight her Naomi," Emily had said, standing on her tiptoes to place a light kiss on my lips, "she always wins you know, you'll give in once she hits you with her logic and her reasoning."
"That's as maybe," I'd managed to get out before she kissed me again, "But I've got to at least try; she played me Emily, and no fucker does that without some kind of reprisal."
"You're incorrigible," she'd said, wrapping her arms around me and smiling into the kiss, "you need to learn to play nicely Naomi Campbell."
"I don't know how to play nicely Emily Fitch, that's sort of how I am." I'd winked at her as I took a chance and leaned down to kiss her for a change; my mind still reeling a little at how easy this all was. If I'm honest, I'm still a little bit confused at how much more comfortable I felt with Emily than I ever had with Amy, and confused as to how it had happened in such a short period of time as well.
"Oh well, I guess I'll have to learn to deal with that won't I?" she said sighing melodramatically making me grin; "now go on, fuck off and give me a call when you're on your way. I'll treat us to dinner somewhere nice."
"We'll go Dutch," I told her as I pulled away and headed for the front door.
"Not this time Nomi," she'd said grabbing me and pushing me up against the door, her lips hovering mere millimetres from mine as she teetered on tiptoes. "We're off the clock Miss Campbell, no rules now remember? You're not allowed to give me orders when we're off the clock and in a safe place. So, as I was saying, I'll treat us to dinner at my favourite place and that's the end of the matter. I hope you like Italian."
"I'd prefer a curry," I'd told her as I slipped out of her grasp and slid through the open door, "but I guess Italian will have to do. I'll see you later then Ems, half eight all right?"
"Yeah, you will; and half eight is perfect, I'll ring up now and book us a table for nine. Dress smartly though babe it's a classy joint I'm taking you to."
"Oh, fucking hell," I complained as I stepped into the lift, barely registering the name change. "That means I'm going to have to go shopping again."
I heard the red-heads amused giggle clearly as the lift doors closed behind me.
o+o+o
"That all sounds very positive Naomi," Joanna said as I finished explaining exactly what had happened between myself and Emily. "That sounds like it's another hurdle behind you."
"I don't understand?"
"It's something that's been bothering you that you've now managed to put a handle on. You have a way of dealing with it, so it's going to be behind you and we can move onto something a little more pressing."
"Just like that?" I asked, a faint sneer entering my voice; yes I am still a little pissed off at her.
"Exactly, just like that. Well, only if you actually accept what you've agreed with Emily; only then you can tuck it away in your mind and stop it bothering you. Tell me that you haven't felt better today for not having to think about it all."
I couldn't do it, I really wanted to tell her that she was wrong, that she'd achieved nothing with her little master plan, but I couldn't, my day had been easier. Emily had stopped the teasing and the playing and just got on with her day, until we had got back to her flat that was. Whether that was because she was just busy after her extended weekend or because she'd won with my capitulation last night, I don't know; nonetheless the day had been simple. We were totally professional in public and totally casual when not; one day down and things were looking good and I was feeling better, perhaps Joanna had a point.
"So, do you need to talk about this, or are you feeling comfortable enough to move onto something new?"
I glanced down at my watch, it was getting on for twenty past six and I needed to leave pretty soon if I had any chance of getting home, changing and getting to Emily's for half eight.
"Am I boring you Naomi?"
I glanced up to meet her amused look with a slightly sheepish one of my own. "Sorry Joanna, I was just…"
"Yes?"
"I was just checking the time, Emily and I are having dinner tonight."
Joanna raised an eyebrow and smiled at me, I simply sat and waited for her comment.
"Well it looks like you've grasped things with both hands Naomi, well done. I'm actually very proud of you, I knew you were brave enough to tackle this head on. Now with dinner in mind I don't think we should tackle anything heavy; I wouldn't want to ruin your first date together by sending you there all messed up…"
"It's not a date, not really; we're just having dinner together. We've agreed to take things slow, you know, see what happens; if anything."
Joanna smiled at me knowingly and nodded, "Right, well that's still a step forward for you Naomi so, I think for the rest of the session we should just do some relaxation techniques, perhaps a bit of visualisation work. That will set us up nicely for tomorrows session."
For the next half hour Joanna led me back to my 'safe place' and then through a series of breathing exercises and finally some weird mental image of me being surrounded in a golden ball of energy. I really don't hold much truck with that sort of thing, but by the time seven o'clock arrived and it was time to leave I was feeling pretty good.
"Until tomorrow Naomi, please give my best to Emily when you see her." Joanna said as I left.
"I will," I replied simply, "see you tomorrow.
o+o+o
I pushed my foot closer to the floor and the huge engine at the front of the Rover roared again as I eased her around the slow moving van in front of me and sped towards Emily's. All golden glows and relaxation had well and truly left me behind in the hurry to get home, grab a shower and get dressed. Four changes of my tiny wardrobe later I was wearing the first things I'd picked up, a smart pair of designer jeans that Lara had told me were "just perfect darling" and a top that Emily had chosen when we were in Bath. My contribution to the outfit was a pair of combat boots that the jeans tucked into nicely and a old looking battered M65 jacket thrown over the top.
A designer battered M65 style jacket that is, a fucking expensive battered M65 style jacket; even I have standards, and when I'd saw it tucked away in the back of the store I'd called into on my way to my therapy session, I just knew I had to have it.
I'd even managed a chuckle at myself as I'd looked in the mirror on my wardrobe at the flat, with the jacket on I looked a bit of a mess, like a proper squaddie out on the piss; but when I took the jacket off I looked quite smart. Emily was going to have a fit but for some strange reason I was looking forward to seeing her reactions to my two looks.
It's strange that, I've never really given a shit about things like that before; this girl does strange things to me and I kind of like it.
What I didn't like was the sound of a siren and a set of flashing blue lights in my rear view mirror as I drove towards Emily's. I quickly checked my dashboard only to notice that I wasn't actually speeding; glancing in the mirror I saw the flashing of the headlights and pulled the Range Rover to the kerb wondering what the fuck was going on. To my relief the police car sped past me, heading off to whatever incident had prompted it to activate its 'blues and two's', leaving me happy in the knowledge that I wasn't going to be delayed any further. I was already going to be late, thanks to getting stuck as people rubber-necked a rear-ender by my old haunts off the M4 I really hated being late, punctuality being something that both my Mother and the army had drummed into me; being late equalled being rude in my mother's view of the world, and for all her liberal views rudeness wasn't something she accepted from anyone.
I knocked on the door, anxiously checking my watch. Eight thirty five and forty six seconds; even my heroics in navigating the back streets of London at high speed hadn't saved me, I was late and that fucking sucked.
"I'm sorry I'm late," I managed to get out as Emily finally cracked opened the door, our security checks complete. With a frown she closed the door again and I heard the rattle of the security chain as it opened properly and she beckoned me in.
"I'm really, really sor…"
I didn't get any further with my apology as my flustered brain finally took in her appearance, she looked positively stunning; even better than she had at Rob's 'soiree' and she looked fucking amazing then. The dark blue mini dress clinging to her athletic frame just perfectly, her make up just right and the heels she was wearing made her legs look long and powerful and just…yeah. 'Fuck yeah' in fact.
Basically it was hard not to dribble.
"You look great," I managed to say, trying to drag my brain back to its normal position in my body and away from the puddled mess by my feet. Emily smiled at my lame attempt at a compliment and looked me up and down.
"You look, very you," she replied eventually and I grinned wryly at her.
"Glad you think so, cost me a flaming fortune this outfit."
She didn't look convinced, but it had, the jacket had set me back over three hundred quid but it was well worth it; if only for the feeling of comfort it gave me.
"It's a Maharishi isn't it," she said shocking me somewhat; I'd have put good money on it being Katie, not Emily, that could spot a designer label at 100 meters.
"I think so," I replied carefully, not really remembering the label on the inside; just remembering it was some kind of famous name, and how much it had set me back.
"I'm sure it is, I love the stitching on the back; wonderful work. Anyway, shall we go? I'm starving."
I nodded and helped her on with her coat, opening the door carefully and checking the corridor before we left. "Where are we going Ems?" I asked her as we left the building, fumbling in my pockets for the car keys.
"You won't need them," she replied linking her arm through mine and pressing herself to my side. "We're only around the corner so I thought we'd walk."
She led me through the streets of St John's Wood, off towards the cricket ground and beyond to a small Italian restaurant that was tucked away down a side street, a single, unoccupied table and chair outside the only thing that made it in any way recognisable as a restaurant.
Emily confidently led me through the door and we were warmly greeted by a red cheeked man who insisted on hugging us both.
I handed over my jacket to be put away somewhere and inwardly smiled as I caught Emily staring at me, the rather revealing top she'd told me I'd look good in finally making an appearance.
"You'll like it here," Emily told me after we had been ushered to a small candlelit table at the back of the room, seated and ordered drinks. "this place is great, just like you. You look fucking amazing in that top, I knew you'd look good. Why did you hide it under that coat?"
"Because unless you missed it Ems, it's fucking freezing out there, I'm not going around half naked in April, not unless I'm somewhere sunny."
"Does that mean I've got to arrange a trip somewhere sunny to see you half naked again?" she said grinning at me cheekily and winking.
"So is the food any good here?" I asked trying to change the subject.
"The food is outstanding here, it's my favourite place to eat in London."
As good as your home cooking?" I asked as we were handed impressive looking leather bound menus by the waiter that had appeared with our drinks.
"Better," she said picking up her glass; "one thing I can't fucking do is cook. To us? Whatever us is," she added raising her glass of wine in a toast.
"To us, whatever us is," I replied clinking my glass of sparkling water against hers; "oh, and I meant the food at Fitch Manor, that was pretty special."
Ems nearly spat her drink over me as she started trying to laugh, eventually breaking out into a cough as she choked back the liquid.
"What?" I said defensively, "the food there was fantastic. Best I've had in years anyway, and I have eaten in some nice places before you try and make a ration packs and mess tins comment."
"No," Ems said finally bringing herself under control, "What did you call our place?"
"Fitch Manor, that's what Cook called it."
"We live at Larkhall House Nomi, even Dad isn't vain enough to call the place Fitch Manor; well not yet anyway."
"Oh, I didn't know," I said feeling a bit stupid. "With Cook calling it Fitch Manor and all I just assumed that's where you lived. My original documentation just said I was meeting at the headquarters of Fitch Industries, so..."
"Hey," Emily said reaching her good hand across the table and talking hold of mine. "I wasn't taking the piss Nomi, it was just funny to hear that's all. Fitch Manor eh? I fucking hope James never says that in front of Dad, that would be a fucking disaster, he'd probably think it was a great idea and try and change the name. The locals hate him for all the bits he's had built as it is."
I looked down at her hand, stretched out across the table to grip mine and then clenched my fingers as she tried to draw it back, holding her hand firmly in place.
"This is nice," I told her. "Weird, but nice."
"Why's it weird?"
"Because I've only known you for a week, because we've only spoken civilly together for a few days, but mostly because this doesn't feel weird, you know?"
"This feels weird because it doesn't feel weird?" she asked, neatly proving that I'm an ignorant squaddie with no way with words.
"Yeah," I said weakly, running my thumb across her knuckles as I flipped open my menu with my other hand.
Well if it's any consolation Nomi, I feel a bit the same. It's a bit strange for me to be like this, I'm not usually so..."
"Forward, bossy, demanding?" I asked with a smile, concentrating on the menu for all I was worth.
"Nice, thank you Naomi darling," she replied a light little twist to her voice that expressed the fact that she recognised the playful teasing for what it was; yet one more difference between Emily and Amy.
"So Ems darling, what do you recommend here?" I asked cheerily as she took back her hand to open her own menu.
"Well I'd normally have the spaghetti, I know it's a bit sad but they make a proper bolognaise here and it's fantastic. But with this thing," she lifted her plaster cast and looked at it disgustedly, "it might be difficult to eat. I might just have the meatballs or the penne al'arrabiata that's good here I'm told."
"You should totally go for the penne," I said quickly, "It will save me a dilemma."
"What's that, Emily said taking another sip of her wine.
"Well that's mad hot isn't it, made with some seriously hot chilli peppers traditionally. You have that, it saves me deciding if I'm supposed to kiss you goodnight when I drop you off. I'm not going to kiss a girl with chilli on her lips, that could be painful."
"Meatballs it is then," Emily said staring at me with those big brown eyes. She has a trick I've noticed over the last few days, a trick she does with those eyes that just totally entraps me. It's nothing complicated, or even anything obvious, but I've started to notice it now and I seem to remember her doing it a lot over the last few days, since the helicopter ride in fact. She looks at me and blinks, just slowly enough to be noticeable and then looks away, just as if she has realised we've made eye contact.
Every time she does it I look away, but am immediately drawn back to her eyes once more, and every time I look I see her staring back at me; those brown eyes questioning, as if searching for answers in my own.
Tonight though, there's no such question; not really. She's not looking at me with questions, she's looking at me as if she knows all the answers now; or at least, she knows all of the answers that she wants to know for now. Tonight she's looking at me with affection, with pleasure, with a hint of something more. My natural reaction was to get up and walk away, leave before anything else happened, but where could I go? All my safety blankets had been removed with one swift attack outside Gereshk. Every time Amy had pushed our relationship I'd been able to retreat into my Army life, run back to tradition and run back to rules; running away to war to avoid the pressure.
Now I had no-where to run to, and no real desire to run either; and that scared the shit out of me.
"You ok Nomi?"
I let my eyes rise up from the spot on the table where they had fallen, unfocused, and met those brown eyes once more. I smiled reassuringly.
"I'm fine, just thinking that's all; sorry."
"It's ok you just sort of went away for a minute there."
I was faced with another flash, one of those mental trips that take you back to a time and a place that's so familiar that you can almost taste it. It was a memory of me and mum chatting over dinner one night; after I'd stopped being a prick, before she'd been diagnosed with cancer. She'd said almost exactly the same thing to me when I went on one of my little 'mental wanders' as Whitey used to call them.
"Yeah, I do that sometimes, just ignore me."
"I would never do that Naomi," she said, those brown eyes boring into me once more. "I don't think I could."
We simply stared into each other's eyes for what felt like hours, but was really only seconds. There were no words, I don't think we needed them, I certainly didn't; Emily's eyes told me everything I needed to know with just that single, momentary, look. That special, precious, moment was shattered seconds later by the arrival of the waiter to take our order and we didn't regain it for the rest of the night; as if both of us realised that it was a step too far for our first 'date' together.
Food came and went; Emily was right, I'd opted for her recommendation and the Bologna ragu was indeed something special, nothing like the watery stuff I'd eaten elsewhere. The next hour and a half passed in a heartbeat, lost in comfortable silences and pleasant conversations about nothing important.
The enigma that was Emily Fitch unravelled just a little over the pasta as she told tales of growing up in that huge house, about Katie and about her life at school.
"It was awful," she said as she tucked into her Tiramisu with obvious delight. "Katie was an absolute man eater which isn't easy at an all girls college."
Her eyes flashed prettily at the memory; she has absolutely lovely eyes I'd decided over dinner.
"She flirted with absolutely anyone she could, snuck out of school as well. I got detention for her when she got caught once."
"Why did you get detention?" I asked confused by the idea.
"She pretended she was me, one of the disadvantages of being a twin. I did it because she'd probably have been expelled if I told the truth, she was on her last warning for sneaking out."
"But you look nothing alike," I blurted out unthinkingly, "you're far prettier than she is."
"Thanks," Ems said blushing slightly and doing that thing with her eyes again.
"Must have been hard, being Katie's sister that is," I said to spare her blushes, asking the only question I could think of that wasn't the one I really wanted to ask; 'what's it like to be a twin'.
"Sometimes it is, it was back then because we were quite different and she couldn't accept that. School uniform didn't help, we were far too identical in that shit. That's why I dyed my hair pink when I got to University; I wanted to be different, needed to be different to her."
"does sound tough," I said, scooping up my sorbet and trying not to think of Emily in a school uniform.
"Yeah. She can be an utter bitch even now, and Dad fucking dotes on her as you've seen; it was great that you put her in her place though, in the conference room you know? I fucking loved that."
I didn't mention the impact that my little outburst had had on me, it didn't seem the right time to admit to that, instead I went with the safe option.
"Well it was nice to see her turn green when you paraded down those stairs in that dress of yours, jealousy so becomes her."
I winked at her and got a cheeky grin in reply, "I really wish I'd noticed her," she said dabbing her mouth delicately with her napkin. "I'd have loved to have seen her reaction."
"She was staring daggers right at you Ems, I'm surprised you didn't see her."
"I was only looking for one person, I was only really interested in how they looked when they saw me."
My memory flashed another picture at me, an image of her stood at the break in the stairs her eyes searching the room until they locked with mine, searching me out as I tried to make myself as inconspicuous as I could at the back of the party; showing me the smile she had given me as our eyes met.
"Me?" I asked incredulously, raising another snort from the woman opposite.
"Of course you, bloody hell Nomi you really didn't get it did you? It really wasn't just denial."
I felt my cheeks blush a bit at that comment. Seriously, I spent the best part of my life without displaying emotions like this; and now I'm smiling and laughing and blushing. It's like Emily Fitch has cut through my bravado, sliced through my bullshit; like she'd killed off the old me and let some new Naomi Campbell out and into the world.
I'm really going to have to deal with the implications of that, perhaps that's a session for the pool tonight, or for Joanna tomorrow.
"You're cute when you blush," I heard causing my to blush even more. "See? Cute, you should do it more often."
I looked up again and fixed Emily with my best 'don't fuck with me' face on and replied.
"I don't blush Emily, I never have, it must just be warm in here. I'm having a hot flush."
Her laughter echoed around the tiny restaurant, and echoed around inside me as well.
o+o+o
One coffee later and we were back out into the night; Emily refusing, against all my protestations, to split the bill between us. There was a distinct chill in the air, despite it being near the end of April and the ground was wet, a shower having hit the city whilst we ate. Surprisingly Emily seemed to revel in the damp smell that filled the streets and skipped and danced under the orange streetlamps; flinging her arms around one and spinning wildly, singing happily. I merely leaned against a nearby wall, folding my arms to keep my hands warm against the cold evening breeze.
I watched as a slightly tipsy Emily went through her own version of 'Singin' in the Rain' jumping on and off the kerb dancing along happily. It wasn't until she went to round the corner that she noticed that I wasn't with her.
"What?" She asked, stopping suddenly sober in the middle of the street.
"Nothing, just watching someone make a fool of themselves that's all."
"Oh shush you, come and dance with me," she said holding out her arms to me. Casually I walked across to her, stretched out a hand and dragged her back onto the pavement and safety, away from the car that was approaching far too rapidly for my liking. Emily clumsily stumbled into me and wrapped her arms around my waist, snuggling her head into my chest leading me to believe that she wasn't nearly as drunk or as clumsy as she'd appeared.
"You're very sneaky Miss Fitch," I told her as I slipped my arms around her shoulders and held her tight.
"Yeah, I know," she replied, her voice muffled.
"Come on you, I think it's time I took you home."
"Yeah," she said sounding disappointed. I know the feeling, the evening seemed to have flown by; and despite having spent a good part of the day with her I really didn't want this to end.
The short walk to her flat was all too briefly over, and we found ourselves in the lift, Emily staring dreamily at the ceiling.
"What you thinking of?" I asked her, suddenly curious as to her look.
"Us, and this lift…some happy memories," she said grinning at me as it lurched to a halt and the doors opened.
"So this is me," she said standing by her door. "You want another coffee?"
"No," I replied, "I really need to sleep tonight, my boss has me picking her up stupidly early for a meeting at the crack of dawn!"
"Well you need to have a word with whoever she is, she sounds like a bitch!"
I smiled down at her as she grinned, obviously fishing for a compliment.
"Well she can be on occasions," I told her, "but the rest of the time she's mainly a mardy cow!"
"You should quit," she said ignoring my jibe, "you could come and work for me. I'd look after you."
"Hmmm," I replied; "tempting. But my boss needs me, she may be a mardy bugger but most of the time she's like a child; totally helpless without me keeping her safe, it wouldn't be right to just abandon her."
"Cheeky," she said slipping her hand into mine and squeezing; "you coming in?"
"I don't think that's wise Ems," I told her, squeezing her hand back, "I think I should be getting back to the apartment, I really do need an early night."
"Well I didn't eat the penne, do I get a kiss goodnight?"
Emily had pulled me closer to her as she spoke, wrapping her arms around me once more.
"If that's an order Miss Fitch," I replied, placing my hands on her hips, just because I could.
"It is Miss Campbell," she said; before reaching up and pressing her lips to mine, our mouths and tongues toying as the goodnight kiss became more passionate.
"If you don't go now I won't hold myself responsible," Emily said as we broke apart; both seeking a breath.
"Good point boss," I told her kissing her one last time.
"All kinds of wrong Nomi," Ems told me when we finally broke apart. "Time you went home."
"That's what I said Ems," I told her grabbing her hips and pulling her to me. "But I'm glad you had the meatballs."
"So am I," she told me gripping me back, "I like this you know?"
"Like what?" I asked her, kissing her gently and chastely on the lips
"Like us, whatever us is," she replied simply.
"Yeah, I like us too," I told her in response, "whatever us is."
"Goodnight Miss Campbell."
"Goodnight Miss Fitch."
Our final goodnight kiss was the kind stories would have been written about; and as I lost myself in her embrace I was proven right, this girl has been the death of me, probably will continue to be the death of me, and I will probably run into deaths cold embrace happily as long as Emily Fitch was by my side.