Eighteenth of November

Dear Diary,

I had a talk with Severus about what had happened Friday night. I also told him about what I discussed with Malfoy and asked if it was true. He confessed that his intentions were to prove to Avery that I was not a whore or a spy. I told him for the hundredth time in our relationship, that the only people that should care are us, nobody else, just us; if someone else has something to say, well too bad for them, because it's our relationship and not theirs.

"It's not what other people think that makes me mad, it's that nobody that our relationship is not some stupid, idiotic joke we're trying to pull. Everybody thinks I can't love because I am a sarcastic, mean and ugly git who seems to care for nothing. It's not that I don't like the image that scares my students, it's just…I wish they would sometimes see that I am human and that I have human feelings."

That was what he said and I told him that all that was important was that I knew that he was human and that his child was human. He smiled at my comment and said that I always knew how to make him feel better. After a little silence I told him about what Malfoy had told me yesterday. About all of what Severus had to go through and the reason he didn't want to have the baby.

"I want this baby to change all my fears and my whole life. I want to stop thinking the world will end and start thinking that everything is better than it was years ago. It's the fact that I will have to become a father to a child, even though I had no good experiences what so ever that makes me think the world will end. I want this child to have everything I always wanted…a good home…good parents and most of all, a better life than mine when I was young. But, it's going to be so hard for me, because my father keeps creeping in on me in my dreams, telling me I will just become like him."

"Severus, you will be a good father…you know why?" I asked. He shrugged. "Because you want to be one so badly that if you keep thinking positively, it will happen. You might not have experience, but you are willing to do it because you want this baby to have a life you always wanted. You want to give all the love it needs even if you're not that kind of man. That means you will be a great father."

I think after my little speech he was convinced that he might not be such a bad father after all.

Twenty-Fourth of November

Dear Diary,

Mme. Pomfrey did her usual monthly check up today and gave us news about our baby. The usual "It's bigger than the usual for a baby of this age" came up but this time Mme. Pomfrey said that it could affect the birth date. She said that it could be born before its birth date, a week or two. She said it's like it was made a month before it really happened. It concerned Severus greatly; he fears a miscarriage might happen if I continue on the potions Mme. Pomfrey said I should have to help the baby's growth. We all decided to make me quit those potions and just give me the Muggle treatment.

We also talked about where I was going to give birth to the baby. Mme. Pomfrey said I could do it in our chambers or in the hospital wing. I decided wherever was close when I would feel my labour start. All the talk of being in labour is making me very nervous; I mean, I am passing a whole human being through me! Mme. Pomfrey said there were potions to help with the pain and Severus said he would brew them himself, but I still am nervous.

I more nervous about actually being a mother of a child. I have been trying to help Severus cope with being a father, I totally forgot about myself and how I felt about being a mother! I can't wait to have new experiences and to have my own little child to feed and take care of, but I am scared that I'll do all wrong. Drop him or her or something of the sorts. Mother told me she was the exact same way when I was going to come but with a little help from my father she made it through and I didn't turn out so bad. Severus told me that if I think he can do, than I can too. Some people say mothering instincts come naturally…I hope they will for me.

First of December

Dear Diary,

I suppose you could call today…unusual. I was in class, sitting while the students were writing some stuff down from the blackboard, when a terrible pain came from where the baby was. After a few moments, I was fine again, but about ten minutes after it came back. Something was definitely wrong. I sent out Jayne MacIntosh to go get Severus for me so he could help me with this. I had been feeling cramps this morning, but I thought it was something I ate, but then I knew it wasn't cramps.

The students weren't working anymore, because they were asking me if I was ok. They kept my mind off the pain for a while as we talked about babies, until Jayne came back with Severus. Severus gave them one of his famous venomous looks as they went back to work. He kneeled down and asked me why I had summoned him. As another wave of pain came I said holding my breath:

"IthinkImightbeinlabour,"

"What?" he said, looking at me as he held my hand and the pain went away.

"I think…I might…be in labour." He had heard it this time and his eyes shot open. He was panicking and it showed as he replied:

"You are? What do I do…what do you need?" I laughed in pain as I replied to his comment.

"I need Mme. Pomfrey and somebody to take care of my class and yours and…somebody to hold my hand and take me to the infirmary."

It was like being in Auror camp; Severus shot up and went out the door. He came back a little while after with Dumbledore to take charge of my class. Then, Severus and I set off for the hospital wing and I think we just made it. I made it by before I passed out in Severus's arms. I woke up a few minutes later with Mme. Pomfrey examining me and Severus pacing behind her nervously. Suddenly, the doors flew open to show Mother catching her breath like she had run a thousand miles just to get there.

"How is she?" I heard her say to Severus.

"I don't know, Pomfrey isn't talking and Nathalie's unconscious." I heard Mother coming up to the bed and Mme. Pomfrey giving us the verdict.

"She is not in labour." I heard the biggest relief sigh of my life coming from Severus's mouth and Mother exclaiming:

"Thank god! I didn't even throw her a shower for the baby!" Severus snorted and said:

"So what's her state then? Why is she in pain and unconscious?" Mme. Pomfrey moved and explained my situation and they were all not aware that I was awake.

"She is having magical contractions. In other words, her magic is separating in two, to give the baby its magical powers. For some people, it hurts more because their bodies take pain a different way. It's completely normal. The only thing is that when witches have these, it usually happens a few weeks before delivery. This means that Nathalie will have this baby earlier than planned and it might happen in no time. Once a witch has these, the baby is bound to come any day. I suggest you bring her here everyday for a check up to see how the baby is going. Professor, you are going to be a father sooner than you think."

As she finished her sentence, Severus made a weird noise that made me laugh and blow my cover. They all turned around to see me and Severus rushed to my side. I had to tell them I had been awake for a long time and Mother was upset I had heard her comment about the shower. But what was more important was that I was going to have a baby in less than two months!

Fifth of December

Dear Diary,

I have been in the hospital wing for five days now and I can't leave until Mme. Pomfrey says I can. That would be when the magical contractions stop, but they never seem to end. They are less intense but I still feel them and I can only get out once they fully stop. Severus comes and visits me every free time he gets and brings me a red rose every day, like he use to when we were still a new couple. It makes me feel special.

On the other hand, Dumbledore has hired me an assistant who will teach in my place if ever something happens with the baby. Her name is Gwendolyn and she comes from France. She speaks English fluently and is very adept with astronomy. She is really help full when it comes to taking care of all that I do. I think I will be doing less work now…

Tenth of December

Dear Diary,

I am FINALLY out of the goddamn infirmary! For ten fucking long days I have been there under Mme. Pomfrey's strict eye, feeling pains that I never thought would hurt so much! I felt so happy to finally sleep in my own quarters beside Severus's body to hold me tight and love me. I could finally take back my usual place on his chest, where I sleep every night held in his arms. I felt very happy last night when I went to bed with him. I have never missed him this much…must be the hormones.

I started teaching again but sometimes I stop in the middle of sentences because the baby kicks and hurts me. I can't circulate anymore since Mme. Pomfrey strictly said I am not allowed to make any more "big" or sudden movements, her walking around and helping students is one. Severus told me to just listen to her, because it was for the baby's sake.

Thirteenth of December

Dear Diary,

We went to go visit the Malfoys today, since Severus absolutely had to go see them. We (mostly Severus) have decided that Lucius Malfoy will be the godfather of our child. There would be no godmother, because I decided to have Dumbledore as her godfather too. If ever something is too happen to us, the baby shall go to Mother first, then Dumbledore, then Malfoy. I really don't want Malfoy near my child, but it's what I have to pay for being married to Severus.

Draco has been very happy to hear the baby will be coming soon. He actually drew us a little one of his famous pictures for us. There was him, Severus, our baby and I. Since nobody except Mother knows the sex of our baby, Draco just drew a stickman. We asked him what kind of name he would like for our baby. He said if it was a girl, it should be Julie and if it's a boy it should be Patrick. We took his name recommendations into consideration.

Yes, Severus and I are looking for baby names. I found Victoria or Elizabeth for a girl and Alan or John (John for my father) for a boy. Severus thought Yelena or Emilia could be nice and for a boy Edmund or Dimitri. We still haven't figured it out yet, since Severus and I don't agree with anything. I want common names, he wants different names. At this rate, we shall never and I repeat, never find a baby name.

Fifteenth of December

Dear Diary,

Today has been a very awful day, especially for Mother. Today was my shower and of course it was supposed to be a joyous occasion. Mother had planned it all to the very last detail and everybody was to come. It started very nice as the guest arrived and we were all talking and having a splendid time. I had noticed that my grandparents on both sides weren't present. Time passed by and they still weren't there. Mother decided to start it without them, until an owl came and delivered us some grave news.

Dear Mrs. McGonagall,

We unfortunately have to inform you that your parents and parents-in-law were found dead earlier this morning in the street corner in Diagon Alley. The Ministry holds the murderer and we would like for you to come and help us clear some fogged places in the crime.

We are very sorry, please accept our condolences,

Barty Crouch

Ministry of Justice

Mother cried as she went to the Ministry, followed by her sisters and my father's side of the family. They had all received the same letter and I was left alone in a pile of gifts. They told me to open them, without them there to see it and to send thank you cards later. I was crying silently while opening the gifts. It wasn't the same feeling to do it with them and I can assure you I felt somewhat responsible for my grandparents' murders. I also felt selfish for wanting my family to be with me instead of at the Ministry. I wish I was with them but Mme. Pomfrey won't let me leave Hogwarts…

I can't stop thinking about how happy my grandparents were about my baby. They were so proud that I had survived through everything and that I was finally having a happy life that I always deserved. I had a loyal, caring and loving husband who would do anything for me. I was going to have a child that would represent my happiness and joy with that man. But, as Severus said when I saw him for the first time since graduation, life isn't a fairy tale. Speaking of Severus, I haven't seen him all day…