Chapter 34

"You amaze me everyday Bella." It was more than her untangling method, it was the way she handled trauma. She lost her mother only three years ago... How on earth did she cope? How can she cope now?

"So..." Bella sat back, her legs stretched out, sipping on my beer. "She had cancer. Cervical. It was in the final stage when she was diagnosed. She'd had trouble for a long time but kept avoiding dealing with it. It's part of the reason my parents split in the first place. She wanted another baby and was having problems getting pregnant. My dad was willing to do whatever tests and procedures needed to make it happen; my mom was stubborn. They had me no problem, it shouldn't be an issue... They argued a lot and everything fell apart. Dad moved back to where he grew up. I stayed with Mom. Until she got too sick."

"That's why you moved. And why you were so miserable... Aw Bella..." I wrapped an arm around her, placing a kiss on her head as she rested against my shoulder. "You get checked regularly, right?"

She smiled as she played with my fingers. "Sure. Charlie made sure I got the HPV shot and I have paps annually. Don't worry." She pulled my hand over to kiss my fingertips.

"I'm glad you told me," I said softly. "I know it's hard."

She took in a breath and bit her lip, as she did every time there was something she wanted to say but wasn't sure she should. "You know when you came back and your mom called and then you said you had talked to her about us?"

"Yeah, I remember..."

"I was jealous. And angry with my mom for dying and leaving me with no one to talk to like that. It's not like I could talk to Charlie. He'd freak. And Alice... She's too involved. She just kept telling me to be patient and let you work through everything. I mean, now I know why, 'cause she knew about your family issue and obviously that was more devastating..."

"Not more important though," I countered. "You understand I only dealt with that first so I could feel strong enough to really try to work it out between us."

She nodded, biting her lip some more. "And then I felt bad for being jealous of you having Esme, because you lost your mom too. Only you didn't even get the chance to know her. At least I have memories, even if I can't talk to her."

"Bella, don't lessen your anguish that way. Everything you felt is valid. It's not wrong. Please don't keep these things from me anymore. You can talk to me about anything baby. Anything."

She was fighting her tears, trying to smile. "I talked to Ellie, about us."

"I know." That reminded me, I hadn't called Ellie yet, as I'd promised I would.

She bit the side of her lip. That was new. "I think she's pissed at me. She hasn't returned any call since then."

"I'll talk to her."

"You can't make her be my friend Edward," she snorted. "But thank you for wanting to fix it." She tilted her head back and kissed me softly.

"I promise you Bella, I will work with you to fix any problem you ever have." I was leaning in to return her kiss when Jasper returned with dinner and his usual easy banter. Bella visibly relaxed and the three of us enjoyed an evening of laughs before I walked her back to her dorm.

"So, seeing as you want to be in the know..." Bella said as we walked. "There's something else you should hear about."

"I'm listening." My gut clenched, not knowing what to expect now.

"Charlie knows about us."

I exhaled and took another deep breath. "I thought we agreed to hold back on that for a bit."

She snorted. "Yeah, well it didn't come from me. Remember I told you Jake isn't speaking to me? Well apparently that doesn't go for my dad."

"Oh."

"I'm so pissed off at him! You know, it's one thing to act like a baby and refuse to talk to me, it's another to go blabbing to my dad because he's pissed at me. He's being a child. Alice was right about him all along."

"He's hurt Bella. I guess it's his way off acting it out." Was I defending the ex? Jesus...

Bella shot me a sarcastic look. "Exactly the point. When you were pissed, you didn't run and tell stories. Just the opposite; you defended me. Grown-up; child."

"I can be childish too..."

"Oh, I'm aware Cullen." She poked her tongue out at me.

"Very mature yourself there, Ms Swan," I teased. "Seriously though, how did he take it? Your dad, I mean."

"Wellllll, we had some words of course."

"And then he loaded his gun..."

Giggling, Bella looped her arm through mine. "He won't shoot you Edward. But he does want to meet you."

"Okay." There was a massive knot in my stomach forming. The dad of all dads...ugh. "Uh, when?"

"Not now. I told him we're too busy with exams and summer jobs starting."

I nodded. "We should do it soon though."

"Jump in and get it over with?" she grinned.

"Exactly. The stress will just build if we stretch it out." I paused before asking what was on my mind. "Bella? Does he hate me?"

"Um, not exactly."

"Oh!" I snorted. "That's reassuring!"

"He'll love you once he gets to know you. Don't worry." We arrived at her dorm and she stopped to finish our talk. "Charlie's got a real tough exterior, but once you break it down, he's a teddy bear."

"With sharp teeth, I bet." Grinning, I wrapped my arms around her. "Tell me what to do. How should I act with him?"

"Like yourself. Just like you, Cullen." We kissed for several minutes before saying goodnight. And I pictured myself tortured in a dozen ways by an angry cop/dad.

It was a great relief to have exams over with and also the ordeal of moving Rosalie. I'd anticipated the worst; Rose at her bossiest, but she was actually very laid back and cheerful. She was astonished by the gifts and donations my parents had contributed to our house on the whole. Everything intended for everyone. After we unloaded her boxes and returned Jared's van, the three of us sat back and enjoyed a quiet night in. Three old friends reliving old times and looking ahead to our future lives. I wished Bella was with us, but I understood that she wanted to spend the last two nights as roomies with Alice.

On Sunday, Jasper and I packed up Bella's belongings while Emmett hauled Alice's things to the Cullen Escalade. They were starting summer break off at home with our parents.

"Come visit soon!" Alice pulled us all in for a group hug. "I'm gonna miss you guys sooooo much!"

"We'll be back and forth. You can come visit us too you know." I punched Em on the shoulder and smiled at Alice.

"You'd better!" Bella threatened and hugged Alice one last time before they drove off.

"Regrets?" I asked quietly when I saw her sad look.

"Only that Alice won't be with us in the house. She's like the sister I never had. I've never been on my own before; I went from Mom to Dad to Alice. It's just hit me now."

"Unnerving?"

She nodded and wrapped her arms around my waist. "This'll be good right?"

"Yeah," I grinned before giving her the softest of kisses. "Very good. But we've got to get moving if you want my help unpacking. I have a train to catch." My seminar was beginning very early the next morning so I was travelling tonight and staying at the hotel. Bella's anxiety was rubbing off on me. I hadn't been on my own either and the whole premise of this seminar was extremely unnerving for me. Leadership? I hated even being noticed for the most part and I was about to spend 4 days asserting myself. With strangers. Fuck, why had I agreed to go?

Change, Cullen. Growth.

Bella came with me to the train station and squeezed the breath out of me before I boarded. I promised to call when I got in and made her promise to text that she got home safely.

It seemed the longest 4 days I'd ever experienced. The days were long but I threw myself into the work involved and found myself loosening up more and more with each day. I missed Bella horribly, however. She sounded sad whenever I spoke with her. She tried to hide it but I could tell.

I was surprised and frankly, disappointed when Jasper came alone to meet me at the end of the week. "Thank GODyou're home!" He ran at me on the platform, launching himself in the air and gave me a four-limbed hug.

"I missed you too honey," I laughed as people passing did double-takes at us.

"Seriously dude, you don't know what it's like with two women in the house. I need another penis there. For balance. And sanity. Don't ever leave me again!"

I cracked up at his dramatic outburst but had some feelings of trepidation creeping around my stomach. Was he hamming it up or was it really that bad? "So where are the women?" I asked casually as I tossed my bags in the van.

"Rose is shopping with Ellie. Bella's waiting at home. She's been cooking up a storm all day, lucky dog." He threw me a smirk. "I'm gonna take Rosalie out and let you have a peaceful night, your first one back. Then you can be in the eye of the storm with me pal."

"Is it that bad?"

He chuckled as he pulled into traffic. "Let's just say we've both got stubborn, aggressive, confrontational girls."

I took a moment to take that info in. It surprised me. Rosalie was domineering once she knew you, but initially she was usually reserved. And Bella... I don't know what I expected but I hadn't thought of her as confrontational...ever. "Well," I gulped. "It's a good thing they're hot huh?"

"Got that right. Jesus Edward, you should see them go at each other! It's like a doberman meeting up with a pit bull in the park."

"Um, Rose is the doberman?"

"Yep."

"And so Bella..."

"Grrrr!Scrappy little pit bull. Cute but viscious. You'll see."

"Anybody home?" I called out as I came through our front door. Jasper dropped me off and left to meet Rosalie. The place looked vastly different than it did when I left but it smelled wonderful.

"In here! I can't leave, it's at a vital stage..."

Chuckling, I set my bags down in the hall and followed her voice to the kitchen. "Wow! How many people you got coming over?" I teased as I looked at the piles of used pots and various dishes set out.

"Just one very important one," she beamed, stirring a bubbly liquid rapidly. "Come here." She waved me over with her free hand and gave me a quick kiss.

"That's it? I'm gone all week and that's all I get?" I took the spoon from her hand and moved the pot off the burner. "Come here you. I missed you." I wrapped her in my arms, lifting her off her feet for a proper kiss.

"Cullen!" she cried out between kisses. "Don't ever leave me again!"

I set her down, gently running my fingers through her hair. "I don't intend to... Bella? Is everything okay?"

She did her lip chew thing and returned to her abandoned pot. "Just trying to adjust. And I missed you. A lot."

Okay, so this was something to discuss later on. "What's in the pot?"

"Pie filling. Banana cream. Do you like that?"

I dipped my finger in the hot jelly, shaking it a bit to cool before licking it. "Yeah. I like that. A lot." I smiled warmly at her. "You know, you didn't have to do all this. We could've gone out..."

"You've eaten out all week. And I wanted us to stay in. Together."

Smiling more, I kissed her neck as she kept the filling moving as it began to set. "Um, do I have time for a shower? The kid beside me on the train was disgusting. His nose was running, constantly. Thick and yellow. Heading for infection stage for sure. He kept hauling it back up his nose and it would hang out again..."

"Oh gross! And look what I'm stirring here? Boiling boogers! That's all I can think of now," she giggled.

"Nah, this is much tastier," I laughed with her. "And he smelled like fish."

"Fish."

"Seriously, I kept checking to see if he had gills. But I don't think fish have snot so I guess he just had a dead fish in his pocket. Anyway, it was revolting. I'm never travelling coach again."

Laughing, Bella put her hands on my chest as she kissed my chin. Then shoved me away. "Go shower. And don't be long!"