Originally this first part was going to be Derek and Carolyn but later decided that Christopher should be the one to speak to his son, plus he has taken a back burner during this story. There is also some Mer/Der but not what you were all hoping for. I know that this story has a lot of drama/angst and especially more so with resolving the Ellis storyline which will make this fic longer.

Enjoy!

Chapter 34

End of August 1941

A week had passed since the night Meredith discovered that he had lied to her; he missed her so much. Even though they lived in the same house, he never saw her. He hardly ever saw Lexie or Molly either except for at meal times; but never Meredith. He wanted…no... he needed to talk to her. He found himself knocking on her bedroom door several times daily but she never once answered. After trying again that morning, he resorted to talking to her through her bedroom door, telling her how sorry he was but she never answered. It had been 7 days since he last saw her; last held her in his arms or talked to her.

Carolyn found him nursing a rather large glass of scotch at 9 o clock in the morning.

"Don't you think it is a bit early?" she asked her son, whilst she made a pot of coffee for the household.

"Not really," Derek said miserably, not looking up from his scotch.

Carolyn didn't say anything to him until she took the seat next to her son, who she had noticed had been so miserable and so quiet for the past 7 days.

"Derek," she said gently; reaching out to touch him. He pulled his hand away from his mother's touch.

"Don't," he said.

"Der…"

"Mom…stop," he said, standing up and heading out the back door into the garden. Carolyn followed him.

"Derek…I am so sorry. I should have never asked any of you to keep the secret."

"No, you shouldn't have mom. How could you let them stay here?"

"I remember you asking me that before," she told him.

"I told you that you would never be able to keep this from Meredith and I should have never gone along with it. I thought it was for her own good!"

"It was Derek," Carolyn insisted.

"No ma…" he turned and started to shout, not noticing his father stood in the doorway.

"You will not talk to your mother like that Derek Christopher Shepherd," Chris warned him; a little shocked at his outburst.

"Chris…"

"Don't Carolyn. Derek needs to talk to you with respect," he told her before turning to his son. "Derek, I know you are upset but that is no excuse to talk to your mother in that way; nor to be drinking at 9 in the morning," he said, taking the glass of scotch out of Derek's hand. He passed it to Carolyn. "Let me talk to Derek alone please, sweetheart?" Carolyn nodded but not before giving her son a concerned look before heading into the house.

"Derek, talk to me," Chris said. Derek looked up at his father and burst into tears. Chris went to give his son a hug but Derek stepped away from him.

"Don't dad…please?" he said, trying to pull himself together. Chris knew not to push his son as Derek would talk about this in his own time. After a few minutes of silence, Derek spoke.

"I miss her…I miss her so much dad. She won't even speak to me."

"She hasn't spoken to any of us since she found out," Chris sighed.

"I just want to explain why I never told her…I love her dad."

"I know you do Derek and I know you always wanted to tell her the truth. Although, it has only been a week Derek; give her time. Everything that she has been told over the last 13 years, she has just found out is a lie."

"I know dad and I know I am being selfish but I just want her to talk to me; even if it is just to yell at me."

"She will Derek. I know you are finding it hard right now but it will all figure itself out. In the meantime don't give up; keep doing what you are doing; let her know that you are there for her. Give her a reason to stay here with us," Chris told him.

"Give her a reason to stay," Derek repeated. "Dad…what are you talking about?"

"Nothing Derek," Chris said, not wanting Derek to worry.

"Dad," Derek said. Chris sighed knowing that Derek wouldn't let this go.

"Meredith is talking about leaving."

"She can't…it is not safe in England," Derek stated, annoyed that she was even considering it.

"She's not talking about England Derek," Chris replied.

"You can't let her leave Dad," Derek pleaded.

"I can't stop her Derek; she is 19 years old and the girls' legal guardian."

"If she leaves dad; I…we will never see her again," Derek said sounding panicked and rushing into the house.

"Derek," Chris shouted but Derek ignored him.

Derek rushed upstairs and as he went to bang on Meredith's door, he saw her coming out of the bathroom; he wanted to drink her in because it was the first time he had laid eyes on her in over a week but he knew if he stopped she would run. Derek grabbed her by the arm and pulled her back into the bathroom; not before locking the door behind him. He made sure to stand between her and the door as he took the opportunity to look at her; his heart broke for her. He had not seen her look so pale; the puffy eyes and dark circles reminded him of months before; just after her parents died.

"God Mer…I have missed you so much," he said, going to gather her in his arms but she shook him off and stepped back.

"Get away from me," she hissed at him.

"I need to talk to you."

"I don't want to talk to you Derek. Get out of my way," she said, trying to rush by him.

She couldn't look at him; she did not even want to be in the same room as him. She had heard him at her door every day for the past week and she had desperately wanted to open that door to let him in and let him take her in his arms; she missed him; she loved him but then she would remember how he lied to her, how he betrayed her. Her body screamed at her to let him hold her but she couldn't; he had too much control over her and it was time that she put a stop to it.

"No," he said and stopped her. "I am going to talk and you are going to listen," he said firmly. When Meredith didn't answer him; he continued. "I am so sorry I didn't tell you the truth Meredith but I didn't know how."

"All you had to say was 'Meredith your mom is alive'," she quipped back.

"It was not that easy Meredith. I didn't want to hurt you!" Derek defended their actions.

"Well Isabelle had no issue telling me the truth and you did hurt me Derek!" she spat at him.

"Isabelle had no right to tell you. I know I hurt you Meredith and I am sorry. I love you," he whispered.

"You love me…don't make me laugh…if you loved me you would never have kept this from me," she said angrily. Meredith had no idea how attractive she looked before Derek; she looked flushed and so gorgeous, Derek couldn't stop himself and stepped towards her, cupping her face in his hands. Stepping back to avoid his touch, Meredith's back hit the basin.

Lowering his head; he captured her mouth with his own. Meredith's hands rested on his chest to push him away and as she opened her mouth to protest, he slipped his tongue in which was Meredith's undoing. Unwillingly, she deepened the kiss. His fingers started playing with the skin in between her top and skirt. Meredith moaned at the contact…god she missed him. She wrapped her legs around his waist.

"God I miss you Mer," Derek whispered in her ear as he sucked on her earlobe. Meredith stiffened in his arms and she pushed him away and leapt off to the side.

"Stay away from me," she said, stepping back from him.

"Mer…" he said reaching out to her.

"NO!" she screamed at him.

"Meredith," he pleaded with her reluctantly taking a step away from her.

"Please don't…don't touch me," she begged him, raising her hands to ward him off. She was so embarrassed at how her body betrayed her; she buried her face in her hands and sobbed.

"Meredith," Derek said, kneeling down in front of her but he never attempted to take a step forward or to touch her.

"No Derek," she said harshly as she lifted her head and made eye contact with Derek for the first time in a week. "Don't Meredith me. You lied to me; you have spent the last 18 months lying to me and not just about this," she said standing up and started to pace in the small room.

"I thought we got passed Isabelle?" Derek questioned.

"Got…passed…" she said before bursting out laughing. "You treated me like a whore," she told him.

"No!"

"Shut up Derek! You treated me like a whore and I hate you for that. I liked you and you knew that and you used me. I asked you to prove to me that you loved me and stupid me, I believed you. You betrayed me Derek and I want nothing to do with you or your family and the sooner I can leave the better." she said.

"No…"

"What do you mean no?"

"No, you can't leave. I love you; believe me or not but I do love you. I will go and stay with Mark; I will get out of your sight as long as you promise not to leave here. I know you feel as if we betrayed you but we were trying to protect you and I will do whatever you want. Please Meredith?" he begged her. He didn't want to lose her but he also needed to know she was safe and if the only way to ensure that was by leaving then that is what he would do.

"Don't be ridiculous Derek; this is your home. It is not mine or the girls," Meredith argued.

"Lexie and Molly are happy here; and so were you. You are hurt Meredith which I understand and I will leave you alone while you deal with this but know this, I will not give up on you. I will give you the space you need but I will always be here for you no matter what. I am going to stay with Mark until school starts up. I love you Meredith," he said, not bothering to hide the tears that fell. He needed to give himself a chance to deal with everything and give Meredith some space; he just hoped that she would give them all the chance to make it up to her.

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