A/N Before you read this chapter, I want to remind everyone that Luca and Alejandro are not siblings. Luca's father was Felix and Alejandro's was Joham. All the hybrids were called "Aro's children" once he formed them into the Red Guard.

I am not Stephenie Meyer; I do not own Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse or Breaking Dawn. No copyright infringement is intended.

Previously:

"Nessie and I are not going anywhere and what do you mean there is blood in the mini-fridge? Where did it come from, and where the hell are Quil and Seth?"

"In jail." Luca replied cheerfully.

Chapter 34: The Innuendo Incident

"WHAT!" Jake, Nessie, and Alejandro all exclaimed together as they stared at Luca.

Luca seemed to bask in the attention. "Alejandro had to urinate, and while he was in the toilet at McDonald's I spotted Quil and Seth for the second time since we left the hotel. I don't like being followed." Luca glared at Jake briefly before smiling again. "There were several police officers in the booth across from me. I pointed at your friends and told the policemen they were staring at me and making me feel uncomfortable. I didn't think they would arrest them, but it seems your friends left the hotel without their documents."

Jake sat down heavily on the bed, dropped his head into his hands, and repeated the same vulgar word several times.

Nessie rubbed Jake's shoulders as he continued to swear quietly. Alejandro added a few choice swear words in Spanish and tried to apologize for Luca. Jake ignored him and grabbed his cell phone off the desk. He flipped it open and mumbled "Jasper, mobile one" as he placed it against his ear. "No. Jaz-per, mo-bile one." Jake growled and repeated the command two more times before Nessie gently took the phone from him and punched in Jasper's number. Jake puffed out his cheeks as he exhaled loudly then kissed Nessie's forehead when she handed him the phone.

"Jasper, it's Jake. We have a legal problem here. Quil and Seth did not have any I.D. on them and were arrested. Please call me as soon as you get this message."

Jake closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. "What did you kids say about blood in the mini-fridge? I'm sure I do not want to hear this, but you better tell me anyway."

Alejandro smiled brightly. "I heard you mention getting some blood for Nessie from a hospital or blood bank, so while we were out, Luca and I snuck into the local hospital and took as much as we could carry. It was very easy." Alejandro turned his beaming face to Nessie. "Would you like some now?"

Nessie swallowed the pooling venom as her throat began to burn. One glance at Jake's horrified face convinced her to resist the temptation. "No, I'm fine." She closed her eyes and bit her lip.

Jake narrowed his eyes and cocked his head to the side. "How did you get into Quil and Seth's room, anyway?"

Alejandro pulled a key-card out of his pocket, smiled and unlocked the door. "There are many of these behind the desk in the lobby. The people that clean the rooms use them. Did you know that you can open any door with one of these cards?" The boy's expression was truly innocent, he must believe anything easily pilfered was meant for him to take.

"Come on, let's go." Jake grumbled quietly and led the way into the room. He crouched low, opened the door to the mini-fridge, and groaned when he read the labels. "This is the rarest blood type. It's always in short supply. People need this stuff."

Even chilled and sealed in plastic, the scent of human blood made Nessie's throat burn more intensely. "Can we return it to the hospital?"

Jake shook his head slowly. "No, we can't. Even if they handled it correctly during transport—which is doubtful—the hospital would never accept it once it left their custody. Besides, who ever tried to return it would be in a hell of a lot of trouble."

Jake punctured the seal on one of the bags and handed it to Nessie. Her throat blazed painfully and her hands shook, but she maintained control. "Are you sure, Jake?"

"Go ahead Baby, there's no reason to waste it." She drained it quickly, but continued to squeeze and suck on the empty bag until Jake pried it out of her hands. He handed her a second bag. "Slow down Sweetheart, try to make this one last." He grabbed two more bags and tossed them to Luca and Alejandro. Luca opened hers with amazing control and slowly sipped the contents. Alejandro smiled sadly and tossed his back to Jake. "I don't drink blood."

Nessie's eyebrows shot up in surprise but she couldn't stop sucking on the nearly empty bag of blood long enough to question him. Luca patted him on the back affectionately. "It's okay Alejandro, it's not your fault you can't tolerate blood."

Alejandro sighed and his shoulders slumped. "I know, but it still makes me sad. What sort of vampire doesn't like blood?"

"You really don't like blood?" Jake blinked and pulled his eyebrows together.

"Not only do I find blood unappetizing. My body completely rejects it, regurgitating even the smallest amount."

"Weird," was Jake's only response. Nessie thought so too. Weird indeed.

"Most of us can survive on either blood or solid food, but show a distinct preference for one or the other. So far, I am the only one that cannot tolerate blood at all. Gaius was the only one that could not tolerate any solid food." Nessie wondered where she ranked on the spectrum of blood versus food. She was certain she could thrive on nothing but blood—especially human blood.

Luca sucked the last drop from her bag and tossed it at the trashcan, but Jake intercepted it. "You can't just leave that crap lying around! It's stolen property. Give me your empties." Jake dug around under the sink in the bathroom and pulled out several plastic bags used for the disposal of sanitary napkins. He folded and wrapped each of their "empties" in several layers of toilet paper then stuffed them into the little blue bags.

"I saw a cleaning cart at the end of the hall. I'm going to get rid of these, but I'll be right back. Stay here and stay out of trouble." Jake glared at Luca before he scanned the hallway and trotted off toward the cleaning cart.

Jake was at the opposite end of the long hallway when his phone went off. Jasper had wisely insisted they all have new cell phones. Someone, probably Rosalie or Emmett, had reprogrammed Jake's ring tone to "You Ain't Nothin' but a Hound Dog" by Elvis Presley. Nessie darted into their room and grabbed it off the desk. "Hello?"

"Nessie, put Jake on the phone. This is Quil."

"Are you okay, Quil? Luca just told us what happened. Jake already called Jasper and left him a message. I'm sure he'll get you and Seth out of jail as soon as he gets here." Jake ran into the room and Nessie handed him the phone. He inclined his head towards the other room and Nessie went back to help Alejandro keep an eye on Luca.

~***~

Jasper called as soon as they landed and instructed Jake to meet him at the police station with the two jailbirds' passports and driver's licenses. Everyone else arrived at the hotel and checked into their rooms.

Nessie found herself completely encased in cold stony arms as soon as her parents spotted her. She felt like a slice of bologna in an Edward and Bella sandwich. "Mom, Dad, I can't breathe." They immediately released her but kept at least one hand on her. Bella combed her cold fingers through Nessie's curls while Edward patted and rubbed her back.

Luca grinned at Edward. "You're the mind reader, aren't you." He frowned and nodded. Luca's friendly grin shifted into a knowing smirk and Edward froze. Nessie looked at her father's face and instantly knew what was happening.

"Daddy, don't listen to her. She is a horrible troublemaker. Is she thinking about what she overheard in the hall?"

Edward ground his teeth and nodded again.

"It wasn't like that, Jake tried to explain, but she refused to believe him." Nessie placed her palm on Edward's face and showed him the entire massage from start to finish. She didn't even attempt to edit out the part when she took off her shirt and unhooked her bra.

Edward's eyes grew wide as his mouth slowly opened into a perfect "O" shape. When Nessie finished projecting, he stared at her in shock.

"What?" Nessie knew her father was old-fashioned and probably disapproved, but they hadn't done anything to warrant this stunned reaction.

"You really don't know?"

Nessie put her palm back on his face. "Jake and I are engaged. We didn't do anything wrong. I was feeling tense and frustrated and he just helped relieve some stress. That's all."

"You are doing it again." Edward was studying her and Nessie knew he was reading her thoughts.

"Will you please just tell me what the heck you are talking about?"

"Nessie, Bella, come with me please." Nessie followed her parents to their room. Edward shut the door and then leaned against it. "Show your mother what you showed me."

Bella had the exact same reaction as her father. And this time she did edit out the part where she unhooked her bra. Nessie balled her hands into fists and gritted her teeth.

"Oh come on, Mom! I can't believe you are as big of a prude as Dad! It was no big deal."

Bella groaned as Edward pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Ness Honey, think for just a minute. Why do you think Luca and Alejandro got the wrong impression?" Bella gently gripped Nessie's upper arms and gazed into her eyes intensely. She was so close; Nessie could feel as well as smell her frosty breath. Her mother's ice-cold fingers pressed a little harder.

"I have no idea! Probably because they have dirty minds and we had the 'Do Not Disturb Sign' on the door." Nessie squirmed away from her mother's grasp in frustration.

"Renesmee, forget about what actually happened and just think about the conversation."

Nessie closed her eyes and concentrated. She ran through it twice before she understood. "Oh!... Ew… Gaaaah… You two are a couple of perverts!" Nessie felt her eyes sting and her face flush with embarrassment.

"That was a rather drastic change of opinion. We went from prudes to perverts in under sixty seconds." Edward's sardonic smile froze on his face then turned into a grimace. "Oh no."

~***~

"No freakin' way! You made that up, right?" Embry's outburst easily penetrated the thin hotel walls—signaling the beginning of what would later be known as 'The Innuendo Incident'.

"Actually Embry, she is telling the truth. That is exactly what Luca and I heard while we waited in the hall. Jacob explained that he was only giving Nessie a massage. I believe he is telling the truth. Luca does not."

Nessie recognized Leah's boisterous laugh and delighted whoop of triumph. "Oh this is absolutely priceless! Jake will never live this down. I get to tell Seth and Quil, so keep your mouths shut until I do, got it?"

Crap! Nessie, Bella, and Edward stared at each other unable to move as they realized there would be no way to keep this from spreading. Nessie wanted to crawl in a hole and die, but first she wanted to kill Luca.

Edward's face became a mask of rage as he turned to open the door. Bella grabbed his arm and physically restrained him. "It's too late, Edward. Any dramatic reaction on our part will only make this worse for Nessie and Jake."

"I am only going to admonish them to stop spreading this story. I know it is too late to keep it from the pack. They will get the whole story the next time they phase." Edward groaned and muttered, "probably with visuals if they can goad Jake into defending his story."

Nessie cringed at the thought and tears of shame stung her eyes. She had never felt so humiliated in her life.

"Bella Love, let go. I am not going to hurt anyone, but I am going to insist that no one tells Emmett."

Oh no… Emmett would be worse than Embry and Leah combined. At least Jake has some control over his pack. No one controls Emmett. Not even Rose, not really… Emmett only pretends to obey her. He always does and says what ever he wants. "Daddy, stop her. Please don't let Emmett find out."

Edward groaned and covered his face with his hands. "I'm sorry Nessie."

"No way! Really? He actually said that?" Emmett's roar of raucous laughter made the ceiling shake even though the Presidential Suite was two floors above them. "I can't wait to tell Jasper."

"Emmett Hale, you will do such thing! Think about Nessie. And you—young lady—you should be ashamed of yourself for spreading such malicious gossip. It stops right here, right now."

"It's not gossip if it's true. Besides, who is going to stop me? You?" That was the first time Luca spoke loud enough for Nessie to hear her.

Humiliation turned to blinding fury and Nessie had only one thought occupying her entire mind. "Kill Luca."

Nessie wasn't sure exactly what happened but she found herself pressed tightly against Edward's chest. He was talking to her in soothing tones. "Nessie, calm down. It's going to be okay. We will get through this, it won't last forever…"

Edward passed Nessie to Bella and then threw the door open. Jasper, Alice, and Jake burst in. Jake grabbed Nessie from Bella's arms and wrapped his own completely around her. He cupped the back of her head and pressed her ear against his heart. Nessie couldn't tell if it was the sound of Jake's heart, or Jasper's gift that calmed her down, but she felt better immediately.

At first Nessie didn't pay attention to the hushed conversation her parents were having with Alice and Jasper until she heard her mother suggest they leave Luca and Alejandro here on their own with a large sum of cash. "Alejandro is only a few months younger than Nessie, maybe a year. He seems quite attached to Luca. I'm sure he would look after her."

"Bella Love, Alejandro is different than the rest of the hybrids. He seems to be more… human. He doesn't drink blood, not even fresh from the source. He didn't mature as quickly as the other hybrids. From the little I've gleaned from his mind, I would estimate his actual age to be no more than fifteen. Luca will quickly pass him in both strength and maturity. He will not be able to control her, and she does like blood—especially fresh from the source."

"I am willing to work with the girl if I can count on the rest of y'all to support me and not interfere with what might be considered unorthodox parenting techniques. That is of course if Alice is in agreement."

"Of course, Jasper."

"I assume that Luca said or did something to upset Nessie, am I correct?"

Nessie shuddered. She didn't want Jasper and Alice to know the details of her humiliation.

Jasper took a deep breath and sighed. "Jacob, why don't you take Renesmee someplace a little more calming, she doesn't need to be around here while we try to contain the situation." Jasper patted Nessie on the back before he shut the door behind them. "Now, will someone tell me what the hell is going on?"

Jake carried her out of the hotel, past the five crowded pools and onto the beach. He sat cross-legged on the scorching sand with Nessie sitting sideways in his lap.

The beach was practically deserted. A few local peddlers paraded back and forth with their brightly colored trinkets arrayed in baskets and trays; but no one approached them. Jake looked intimidating and dangerous so she was not surprised.

"So Nessie, do you want to tell me what's going on?" She shook her head "no" but put her palm on his cheek. This concerned Jake just as much as it did her and he had a right to know.

Every muscle in his body seemed to flex when Nessie imagined Luca whispering into Emmett's ear and telling him word for word what she overheard in the hallway. He groaned and shook his head. "Oh no… oh HELL no… Who all did she tell?"

"Embry, Leah, Emmett and Rose. So far. I'm sure she will find a way to tell everyone else. I showed my parents and I'm sure they are discussing it with Alice and Jasper right now."

Jake relaxed a little and lightly stroked her arms. "Nessie, have you ever heard the saying, 'fight fire with fire'?"

"Sure, but how will that help? Are you suggesting we start a rumor about Luca?" Nessie was furious with the girl, but she would not degrade herself by spreading gossip.

"No, not at all. We should probably fight fire with water in this case."

"What do you mean, Jake?"

"Think about it, Nessie. Luca seems to get off on upsetting you. She asked to drink my blood in the limo. You went ballistic on her. She insinuated she wanted me to… uh… give her a massage. You tried to kill her. She was grinning even as she crouched into a defensive pose. She wanted you to attack. And now she is spreading these rumors, I'm sure she is thrilled she made you cry. I'm no shrink, but I think she feels powerful when she makes you angry. If you don't give her what she wants, she will either give up or find someone else to torment."

"Are you suggesting I pretend that it doesn't bother me?"

"Pretending won't work. Don't let it bother you."

"That's great advice Jake, but a little hard to put into practice."

"Not really. Oh, here's a better saying for this situation. 'If you can't beat them, join them'."

"What? How the hell am I supposed to do that?"

"By finding the humor in the situation for yourself. Let's pretend we were the ones sitting in the hall pigging out on junk food and we overheard… hmmmm… Blondie and Monkey Man saying the same things we said. Don't you think that would be funny?"

"I think it would make me puke into a Happy Meal box. I'll bet Emmett and Rose have already done everything that Luca thinks we did."

"Yeah, you're right. Okay pick a different couple, one more like us… inexperienced, naïve, and incapable of unchaste or impure thoughts." Jake grinned at her.

"Jake, I don't think we fit that description. Our actions may have been pure, and our words taken out of context… but I assure you, my thoughts were not pure or chaste. Were yours?"

Jake's smile spread quickly across his face and his eyes twinkled mischievously. "Show me what you were thinking." He pulled her hand toward his face, but she balled it into a fist and giggled.

"Oh no you don't… tell me what you were thinking first. We're your thoughts pure and chaste Jacob Black?"

"Nope."

"Are you going to tell me what you were thinking… oh let's say when… I unhooked my bra and told you to straddle my hips?"

"Nope."

"Jake! Is that all you're going to say?"

"Yup."

Nessie giggled again. "Gotcha."

"Hey that was a trick question." Jake laughed and mussed her hair.

Nessie snuggled closer into Jake's chest and he nuzzled the top of her head with his chin. The hot sun scattered pinpoints of light across the wet sand and ocean while palm trees swayed in the breeze. This would make a beautiful painting. Nessie closed her eyes to fix the image in her mind. When she opened them, she noticed that the sun also made her skin shimmer. Compared to the rest of her family's prismatic skin, it was a very subtle effect, but it was noticeable.

"Jake, does my skin look weird?"

He grabbed her wrist and examined the arm she was slowly rotating in the sun. "What do you mean? Are you hurt?"

"No Jake, I meant the sparkles. Does it look weird? Do you think anyone will notice that I'm… different?"

"First of all, no you do not look weird." Jake leaned back and ran his gaze up and down her body before focusing on her eyes. You look, beautiful, stunning, sexy, amazing, gorgeous, lovely, alluring, enthralling, charming, fascinating…"

Nessie laughed and blushed at his excessive compliments. "Stop it Jake, I'm serious."

He whispered in her ear, "so am I," making her shiver with pleasure. When he nibbled her neck, Nessie moaned quietly and arched her back. Jake growled and the vibration of his chest against the side of her body made her heart race. He shifted his hips and lifted her off his lap settling her on top of his huge feet. Jake had been her favorite chair for as long as she could remember. She reclined against his shins, but was much too tall to use his bent knees as a headrest anymore.

"Hey Nessie, do you want to go for a swim?" Jake didn't wait for a response. He put his hands on her shoulders and kicked his feet in the air. Nessie instinctively flipped over backwards and landed with her feet on either side of his head.

"Wow Jake! You're lucky I didn't land on your face."

He grinned wickedly, threw her over his shoulder, and ran into the surf.

"Ja-cob! I'm not wearing a swimsuit."

He laughed and splashed her playfully. "Neither am I. Hang on tight, Nessie!" Jake slung her around onto his back and dove into an oncoming wave. It was so peaceful when they surfaced on the other side. They floated and bobbed on the rolling ocean swells. The water was crystal clear and full of colorful fish. They could both hold their breath much longer than the average human and used that fact to their full advantage. Jake held her hand as they repeatedly dove and explored the coral reef that disappeared into the dark blue depths below.

"Wow Nessie, that was amazing. Did you see the eel I pointed out? Or the sea turtle?" Jake was grinning and his eyes were wide with wonder. He hadn't looked this happy in a very long time.

Nessie laughed. Jake's enthusiasm was contagious. "I saw the eel, but must have missed the sea turtle."

"Ah, too bad. You saw the shark though, right?"

"There was a shark? Where? What kind? How big was it?" Nessie wondered if shark blood tasted closer to human blood than the other predators she had tried. "Come on, he can't have gone far. Show me."

They both inhaled as much air as possible and dove together. The shark was gone, but a large spotted ray caught their attention, and they followed it until their protesting lungs forced them to surface.

The flora and fauna of the reef were breathtaking, but nothing could compare with the beauty and grace of Jacob floating weightless above her. Coal black hair undulated in waves around his face, occasionally brushing his shoulders. When had his hair grown so long? So… Beautiful…

Jake's shirt drifted away from his body revealing his lower abdomen and ribs while his faded jeans rode even lower than usual on his narrow hips. Nessie floated effortlessly toward Jake until their hands met and he pulled her gently against him. The hem of Nessie's shirt had ridden up under her arms, and the feel of Jake's bare skin on hers was amazing.

She wrapped her legs around his waist as he slid his hands down her back; pressing her even harder against him. She squeezed her legs and pulled with her arms sliding up his body eagerly seeking his mouth. Nessie lifted her chin and closed her eyes when Jake pressed his lips on hers. She felt his abs contract and arched her back as she moaned into his mouth. Kissing Jake was always enjoyable, but kissing Jake while floating weightless under water was amazing. She could have kissed him forever except for one thing… lack of oxygen.

Nessie pulled back reluctantly and opened her eyes. It took a few seconds to realize how drastically everything had changed. The bright colors had faded to monochromatic shades of blue. The water was darker… colder and heavier than it should be. How deep were they?

When she looked up, she panicked. The sun was just a speck of fractured light surrounded by silver bubbles that rolled and expanded as they rushed to the surface. She pushed violently away from Jake and his eyes flew open. He immediately let go of everything except her wrist.

Nessie continued to fight and struggle. She had to get away. She had to breathe... Jake's hand was an iron band around her wrist. He kicked and propelled them toward the surface, but it wasn't fast enough. They weren't going to make it.

"Renesmee. Stop fighting him." Nessie froze and looked around but all she saw was the pale blue coral wall sliding downward and the turbulent foam generated by Jake's powerful legs. "Kick your legs, Renesmee." Carlisle?Was she already dead? Was her grandfather here to show her the way to heaven? "You are not dead yet, now damn it kick your legs." The mild swear word broke through her stupor. Carlisle rarely swore. When he did, you had better do exactly what he said.

Nessie focused the energy of her fear into kicking her legs. When she added her efforts to Jake's they rose much faster. They breached the surface like a pair of dolphins and filled their burning lungs with sweet, salty air. Floating on their backs holding hands, they gluped and gasped like dying fish as their bodies tried to equalize the balance of oxygen and carbon dioxide.

Did I really hear Carlisle's voice? Am I going insane or was that just my oxygen starved brain trying to knock some sense into me?

When Nessie noticed how far away the shoreline was, her relief turned to anxiety. "Jake, where are we? I can't see the hotels anymore. How did we get so far out to sea?"

Jake hugged her and looked around. "We must have gotten caught in a powerful current." Nessie whimpered as she noticed how fast they were drifting. Memories of their ordeal in the river flashed through her mind. "It's okay, Nessie. Hang onto my back and I'll get us to shore." Jake's calm voice and confidence reassured her instantly.

Even with Jake's super-human strength, it took a considerable amount of time and energy to escape the current. He swam parallel with the shoreline, gradually moving closer until they were free. The water was suddenly much warmer as well as calmer. Jake's body relaxed completely beneath her and Nessie sighed with relief.

She kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear, "thank you Jake. Once again the damsel in distress is saved by her knight in shining armor."

"If I were wearing armor, I'd be lying on the bottom of the ocean floor." Jake's strokes and kicks were much slower and he sounded exhausted. Nessie wondered if the burden of always having to comfort, protect, and rescue her, wasn't heavier than a suit of armor. She felt guilty for hitching a ride when she was perfectly capable of swimming.

When she loosened her grip and tried to slide off, Jake rolled over beneath her and grabbed her arms. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Jacob, my brave sweet hero, you're completely spent. I am perfectly capable of swimming. I don't want to be a burden."

"Nessie. You are not a burden." Jake continued to slowly kick his legs and they were making progress, but Nessie felt increasingly selfish.

"Jake, at least let me pull my own weight when I can. Please." Jake studied her face for a few seconds then nodded his head.

Nessie slid off and smiled when Jake pulled her into a quick warm embrace and kissed her nose. "Can I at least hold your hand?"

"Of course, Jacob." As much as she enjoyed the feel of Jake's muscles rolling and moving beneath her, she liked this even more—working together as partners for the safety and wellbeing of each other.

"So… Nessie, you realize that if you aren't a damsel in distress, I can't be your hero." Jake smiled sadly and kissed her hand.

"Even if I never need to be rescued again—and I wouldn't count on that if I were you—you will always be my hero, Jake. Always.

~***~

A/N If you leave a review before I post the next chapter, I will send you a preview.