**Hey readers, I was browsing on youtube, and I found this song that totally describes the post battle/Chihiro Haku emotions. It's called My Demons and it's by Starset.

youtube-.-com-/#/watch?v=LSvOTw8UH6s

That's the link if you're interested. Just copy and paste it into your browser. Erase the dashes in bold, those were put there so I could post the link.

I do not own this song or have rights to any of it, it is simply for your enjoyment.

If that kind of thing is well recieved by you guys, I will post more links like this.

The review made my day by the way. :D

Enjoy Chapter 36! :)**

Chapter 36: The Ripple Effect

I needed to get up.

I needed to achieve some form of movement, or accomplish something...

...No, I don't want to move ever again. I don't want to think, do, or breath...

(Well, I can't stay here forever. It's been days of just this, and I haven't eaten yet.)

I don't want to eat... I'm not hungry.

(Yes I am, I know I am. I've just been letting myself starve, like some helpless victim!)

Shut up! Let me grieve... I'm not acting like a victim, I am a victim!

(Well, I'm not helpless am I? I could easily get up and make myself a sandwich or something! But no, I'm just being a sorry coward!)

Fine.

I sat up slowly, and the light from the window hurt my eyes. Did I really want to move?

No, but I had no choice. For some reason I just couldn't bring myself to starve. Lately the hunger pains had been calling loudly, and I couldn't help but eat. When I ate, I ate a lot.

I felt like such a pig.

However, it couldn't be helped. It hurt not to eat, and sometimes it hurt to eat. It often made me sick.

Ha, probably because I gorge myself...

I was in a foul mood today. Not that I was in a good mood often, but today was different. Today I was angry. I don't quite know why I was, in fact, it seemed almost pointless how angry I was. But I was dammit!

The sun looked past the top of the sky, so it was later in the day.

"Damn you sun. You and your late day brightness."

I walked over to the counter, and sliced some bread. The familiar smells of tea leaked from the cabinets and cupboards, sending in a wave of depression. I felt tears falling again as I munched on bread.

"Ah, stop! Stop crying! Why do I cry so much?"

Someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around.

"What, what is-! ...Oh, it's just you Boh. Sorry..."

I could never yell at Boh, I couldn't even manage to get mad at him. Which today, spoke volumes.

"It's okay..." He said softly. "Um, I was just wondering if you would share some bread?"

I handed him a slice, and we sat at the table. It felt strange, because we hadn't eaten meals together since we'd gotten back.

"Uh, so I've been practicing my... my fighting skills, and I figured out I'm good with an axe."

I sighed. "Why are you doing that? None of us are training any more, and the mission... well..."

"It failed." He finished. "I know. I know because my Aunt died in that mission."

He stood, and I could feel my own heart pounding.

"I also know, I won't let it end that way! She said... She told me..."

Tears began flowing steadily out of his eyes.

"She told me that mission was the last hope! She was SCARED! Scared, but she did it anyway... Well, I'm scared Chihiro, but I'm going to do it any way. The mission isn't over, not until we save the world."

I stopped.

I wish that everyone in the group had seen what I had just seen. Had realized they had been bested in bravery by a child, and been brought to tears like me. Tears that gave me the strength to stand and realize what we were fighting for.

I wouldn't let the mission end until it was finished. I wouldn't let the death of my love, Haku, go in vain.

...I was starting to remember a time not long ago, when I was just like Boh. Youth can be the ultimate wisdom, and I wasn't wasting any more of it moping around.

I stood. "Well... we can't save the world without a team, can we?"

For the first time in days, Boh smiled.

"Chihiro, really!? I knew you'd never let me down, you're an awesome friend!"

I felt more tears fall in spite of myself. Why was I crying so much anyway?

Oh well, Boh and I had a team to gather.

I stepped outside, and looked at everyone. They were all scattered around the cabin yard, all in a state of sloth.

I sighed. "Alright, everyone get up."

They turned to face me, they looked shocked. I guess I was the last person they expected to here this from.

"Yeah, that's right. I'm up. I've lost almost everything, and I'm up."

I gestured to Boh. "Boh lost everything to, and he's up. He stood, and he was the first one to stand!"

Their eyes were on us now, we had their full attention.

"In fact, Boh's been training. Yeah, he's just a kid, but there's something there that we don't have. It's not because we can't have it, it's because we've chosen not to. This bravery, perseverence, and just plain headstrong never give up attitude. I'm standing now because of him!"

They sat and stared in motionless awe.

"So are we going to become sitting ducks for the tainted, and slander the lives of the lost? Do you think Zeniba would have wanted us to wait here and be killed, while her only nephew stands and fights? No, she would not."

Boh spoke up. "And No-Face agrees with me!"

No-Face appeared beside him, and stood with us.

"So there's three." I said. "Who else is going to stand and help?"

Kuhn stood first. "Well, I can't just stand by and be bested by a kid. I'm in."

Linn stood. "Yeah? Well I've got news for you Kuhn, I won't be bested by a kid OR a man. I'm in.

Kahn stood. "Those two? Well..." I guess he was in?

Shisuta stood, and went next to Kahn.

"Don't be ridiculous, you would get nowhere without the powerful science of Alchemy! It would be as if you roamed into a war zone with nothing but spears, no... Not even that! Like walking in carrying flimsy sticks sharpened with a dull piece of glass! A single dull piece of glass! ..."

Her head hung, and her voice was monotone.

"Glass. A hard brittle substance, typically transparent or translucent, made by fusing sand with soda, lime, and sometimes..."

She shook her head. "Suffice to say, I am also 'in'."

It took me everything I had not to face palm at that.

"Okay, so we're all going to be training again?"

They nodded.

Kuhn spoke. "My thought is, we need to figure out where we went wrong."

"I think I know the reason." Said Kahn. "And it's a tactical flaw."

We all gave him our attention.

"The plan we had originally was good in theory, but there were some basic flaws I think should be brought to light. First, we were spread out too thinly. So if something we're to go wrong, which it did, our odds of survival and escape decrease significantly. Second, there were no other plans to fall on if something went wrong. We need to be prepared for the worst, even the smallest detail which you would least expect. Third, and last. Our mission was a covert one, yet we were making ourselves known via distraction. This puts a lot of weight on your ranged and stealth fighters, who are supporting factors. Unless the mission is fully covert, the ranged fighters should not carry the field. Because of these things, the enemy is now aware of us and our motives."

Shisuta nodded. "That is a good point... while we have been sitting here, they could be searching for our location. This brings to my attention, the fact that they could have already found us. I fear if we stay here any longer, we are subject for an ambush."

"Where are we supposed to go?" Asked Linn.

"I mean, I get your point, but we're going to need more than tents to protect us."

"What about the cottage?" I asked. For some reason, I immediately regretted it.

"That is an excellent idea." Said Kahn.

"I agree." Said Kuhn. "Not only is it on an island surrounded by water, but it's close enough to the bathhose to escape suspicion."

Linn smiled, catching on. "And far enough away that they won't see us... great thinking Chihiro!"

I felt my face turn a soft red.

"Well, you're the one's that thought of all the other things. I just suggested a place."

Kuhn walked up to me. "No, you did more than just suggest, you stood."

Linn spoke. "Yeah, and now you're the reason we're all off our lazy selves. So deal with the praise."

She put a hand on my shoulder.

"You've really grown a lot since we first met, and after all of this? I'm really proud of you."

Kahn nodded. "We all are."

I was speechless. Then I felt more tears.

"Ugh, I keep crying today... It's so annoying. I swear, sometimes I feel like a bathhouse fossit!"

They all laughed.

"Trust me." Said Linn. "I know the feeling."

The morale of the group rose from zero to one hundred and ten percent, and the feeling carried us with speed all the way to the cottage.

The cottage however, had gained some new winged inhabitants. I was pretty sure that this time it wasn't Myrmas.