AN: Most awkward situation ever, this chapter. I've never been in such a situation (thankfully) so I hope it's realistic. Thanks for the reviews!

He stood frozen in place, holding the door just barely open, eyes focused on the floor. A passing orderly gave him an odd look, and he found himself almost hoping he'd be recognized. At least that way, he'd have someone to take down, an excuse not to go in. Much to his dismay, however, the orderly merely looked in the other direction and went on his merry way. Damn it. Through the door he heard murmurs that he eventually realized were words, and right when he tried focusing on the words, they were interrupted with a sound that could only be a slap.

"Okay, I deserved that," he heard Joker say.

"You think?"

Ah. So she'd definitely seen the newscasts then. Hell. He stood, knowing he should go in but dreading it. It was the same feeling he'd gotten when he was young, walking home from school with his clothes all ripped up thanks to the other kids in his class, knowing that would lead to a lecture from his grandmother on taking care of his things. Lecture meaning beating. This, though…unlike in his childhood, this was entirely his fault. You started a relationship with your best friend's boyfriend, and pressure or not, you agreed to it of your own free will. So go in there, own up to it, and take it like a man. Easier said than done, though. Harley may be sweet and loving if one was on her good side, but make her angry and all bets were off. Insides twisted, he shuddered and opened the door the rest of the way, stepping inside.

Immediately he was struck in the forehead with something and sent staggering backwards, more out of shock than pain. He heard whatever it was that had hit him fall to the floor, and looked down to see a shoe rolling over across the linoleum. Well, that's not a good start, he thought, colliding against the wall.

"We're talkin' here!" Harley shouted, as Jonathan turned to face her. They stared at each other for a second, Harley looking furious, Jonathan's expression a mix of apprehension and regret, until there was a flash of recognition in Harley's eyes. "Jonathan?"

She took a step forward and he flinched. "All right, you had every right to do that. But please don't do it ag—" Wait, he decided, I'm probably in no position to make requests. "Actually, never mind. Hit me as much as you want."

For some incomprehensible reason, that statement made her eyes fill with tears. Or perhaps she'd already been crying; her face looked red enough. "Harley? Wait, don't cry, I take it back, you don't have to hit me. I'm sorry, I…" he trailed off as she put her face in her hands, sobbing.

"Er…Jonny?" Joker muttered, for once showing some since of tact. "Maybe you better leave the talking up to me."

"I'd rather hear from him!" she shouted, lowering her hands but still facing the floor. "At least he wasn't my boyfriend when you slept together!" And then she was sobbing again. Damn anatomy and the ability to leak water from one's eyes. All it did was make bad situations even worse.

"Don't blame this on him entirely." He felt compelled to defend the Joker, God only knew why. "He didn't force me into this. I'm every bit as guilty as he is."

"And, uh…" For the first time he saw the Joker look unsure, hands in his pockets, shuffling his feet like a child in the principal's office. Whether or not it was genuine, he couldn't be sure. "Technically, we never had 'sex' sex."

"Really?" She raised her head, looking angry and hurt as ever. "And that makes it all okay?"

"No, of course no—"

"What did you do, exactly?"

"A blow job. And a hand job. And fingering, twice."

"And the hugging and kissing and holding hands," Jonathan muttered, wishing more than ever that he'd never let the clown break him out in the first place. What in the name of God had he been thinking, allowing this to happen? Some friend he was. He wouldn't be surprised if she never spoke to him again. Certainly, she'd be justified.

Harley put her hands over her face again and wailed. Jonathan moved toward her, but Joker grabbed his arm and pulled him back, with a shake of his head. He was probably right. It was incredibly unlikely that Harley would want him anywhere near him at the moment, and the closer his proximity, the more upset she may become. Still, watching her sob like that was heartbreaking. I am a bastard. A heartless, selfish, stupid bastard. What did she ever do to deserve a 'friend' like me?

"Why?" she managed, between sobs.

They opened their mouths to speak, Joker getting the words out first. "I don't know. It started as a business thing, you know, I only broke him out so he could make the laughing gas…"

Well, that's entirely untrue, he thought, remembering the way the flirting had been there from the second day onwards. Still, he didn't interrupt. What would be worse, the white lie or the admission that Joker had been unfaithful from the start? He honestly had no idea. Would she even believe him, if he told her the truth? She'd always defended the Joker's positions last time the three were together, and this little incident surely wouldn't have done much to up his credibility. Who was met with more hatred, the cheater or the other woman? He had no idea, and wished he'd never made the choices that had put him in the position to find out.

"…and one thing led to another. It…it just happened, Harley-girl."

"It didn't just happen! These things don't just happen, there has to be something…something wrong." She sniffed, wiping tears from her cheeks that were replaced seconds later. "What did I do wrong? What did he give you that I didn't?"

"Nothing, Harl, nothing. I swear." Joker was behind her then, hands on her shoulders, leading her to sit on the bed. "You didn't do anything wrong, I promise. You don't have to feel guilty. If anyone should, it's me. You're perfect. It's just…you weren't there—also my fault," he added, before she could start beating herself up again. "And I was stupid."

"God, Harley, I'm sorry." Jonathan couldn't tell if this was one of those situations where he should shut up and wait for them to finish, or what. "I've been such an idiot. I didn't even think of how it would hurt you. God, I'm so sorry."

"Well, you should be!" she shouted, though it sounded more pained than outraged. "The both of you!"

"We are," the Joker assured her, sounded oddly sincere for a person Jonathan doubted had ever felt remorse.

"You—you couldn't even tell me yourselves!" she sobbed, head dropping again. "I h-had to find out off the news, and act like I was fine, with Pam and E-Eddie and everybody else feeling sorry for me, and half the asylum laughing behind my back. Do you have any idea how much it hurt?"

"I'm sorry, Harl. Really, I am. But that's why we came here, to set things right."

Harley raised her head, looking as dumbfounded as Jonathan felt. "What do you mean?"

Jonathan felt it best to remain silent. He'd done enough to hurt her already; if the Joker wanted to carry on lying, fine, but he wasn't about to take part in it.

"We came here to apologize. All right, so it's part of a scheme too, but we did want to apologize," he said in that same sincere tone. "I mean, we may be stupid, selfish bastards, but we're not heartless, stupid, selfish bastards. We were going to tell you, and we never meant for you to find out the way you did—"

"What, you didn't realize there were security cameras?" she snapped, face darkening. "Oh, yeah right."

"No, no, no, that's not what I meant. The camera stuff…that wasn't about flaunting our rela…our…you know. It was about drawing out Batman."

"What, through sex?" Harley demanded, looking almost more angry than upset now. "Come on, even you're not stupid enough to think that could ever work!"

"Actually, that was my idea." Jonathan muttered, wishing America had some form of ritual suicide he could commit as penance for his transgressions. Certainly it would be better than watching his best friend go through this. "Not one of my smarter ones."

"Obviously!" Harley looked as if she was sorely tempted to take off her other shoe and throw it at him.

"Okay, okay. Look," Joker took hold of her hands, ignoring the way she pulled back. "Let's not dwell on that, all right? It happened, and it was stupid, and we never meant for it to hurt you, but obviously, it did. The real question is, where do we go from here?"

"Do you love him?" Harley demanded, wrenching her hands free.

"I…I love you both."

And she was sobbing all over again. Jonathan got the sense that this was one of those times when he should really keep quiet, but found himself speaking anyway. "Harley, you can have the Joker. Really, you can. I don't want to come between you, and he's your boyfriend, and—" She appeared to be crying harder than ever, shoulders shaking. Oh, shit. "I mean, not that I think that excuses what I've done. I've betrayed your trust, and that's unacceptable, but I don't want to be any more of a home wrecker than I already am—"

"You idiot," she said, lifting her head, and he realized she'd been laughing. Still crying, yes, but laughing. Though he wasn't sure if emotionless laughing was any better than sobbing. "Did you seriously just say 'I can have the Joker'? What, like he's a doll or something? You really have no idea how relationships or emotions work, huh?"

"I'm sorry."

"Well, you should be." She straightened up, wiping her eyes. "Both of you. And you're damn lucky I care about you guys so much, or I wouldn't even have let you through the door."

Jonathan doubted she could have stopped the Joker for so much as a minute, but was far too relieved that she'd stopped wailing to argue. "We don't deserve it."

"No, you don't," she said flatly. "But you're right, I don't want this to ruin everything we've had."

A silence fell between the three, the minutes dragging on like hours. Just when the force of the quiet seemed crushingly strong, Jonathan heard an odd, unscrewing sound and jerked his head up.

Joker had pulled a container of face paint from his pocket and was spreading it across his face. Feeling the others' gaze on him, he lowered his hand. "Oh. Sorry, just wanted to have my face on by the time Bats showed up."

"Batman's coming here?" Harley said, sounding depressed, annoyed, and amused all at once.

"Yeah." Joker kicked his feet back and forth, making the bed sheets flutter. "So…uh…where do we go from here?"

"God, who knows?" She toyed with the end of one of her pigtails, shoulders slumped. "It'll take a long time to get things back the way they used to be, if ever, that's for sure. I mean, you violated my trust. Both of you. I can't just forget that."

"We're not asking you to," they said together.

"Good." She stood, retrieving her shoe from the floor and slipping it back on. "Right, what do you say we call a truce, for the time being, seeing as how the Bat's apparently on his way? Whatever you've got planned, it sounds big, if you managed to draw him out."

"Wanna help us?" Joker asked, his voice a perfectly sweet, reassuring mix of excitement and nervousness. Jonathan wondered how much of it was feigned, though most of his head was still spinning at how fast Harley seemed to have gone from heartbroken to just hurt. Was it because she'd had time to brood since the first news report, and had simply exhausted the heartache away, or was the Joker just that skilled of a manipulator?

She sighed. "All right. But this isn't over, got it? Not by a long shot. Once we're out of here, there's a lot of talking to do, understand?"

"Of course." Joker stood beside her, kissing her on the forehead, gently as an older brother. "And for what it's worth, I really am sorry."

"Me too," Jonathan said, knowing it sounded incredibly juvenile but unable to come up with anything else to say.

"I know. That doesn't make it hurt less."

"Of course not," Joker said softly, pressing his pass key into her hand. "Here's the plan, if you're still up for it. You get into the guards' station with the key, and if anyone tries to stop you, use this—" from the pocket of his dress he pulled out a gun. "Then open all the cell doors from there, and head straight into the parking lot, all right? I don't want you to get hurt. We need a getaway car, so pick anything you want, and stay by it. We'll be out as soon as we're through to meet you." He paused, tongue pushing against his scars. "We can stop at that ice cream place you like on the way back, if you want."

She rolled her eyes. "You're bribing me with ice cream now? Honestly." But a good deal of the venom had gone from her voice. "What are you two up to, anyway?"

"Harvey Dent's here. We're letting him out."

"I'm filming it," Jonathan added, pulling the camera from his bag.

Her jaw dropped. "Harvey's here?"

"Yep. All part of some crazy, Big Brother scheme the GPD put together. It's a funny world we live in, huh?"

"But how—"

"All will be explained," Joker said, kissing her on the cheek. "But we're running out of time."

"Right." She walked to the door, swiping herself out. "Good luck."

"You too, puddin'," Joker said, maintaining a solemn expression until she disappeared, then grinning as he resumed applying his makeup. "Well, that went fairly well, wouldn't you say?"

"You manipulative bastard," Jonathan said, disgusted.

"What? Look, I really do regret the situation, all right? But what happened happened, and we can't change it, so there's no use in dwelling on it. And that really could have gone worse. C'mon." Spreading on lipstick with one hand, he took hold of Jonathan's wrist with the other and made for the door.

What have I gotten myself into? he wondered, that all-too-familiar sinking feeling in his stomach again. The way he'd manipulated Harley…how easy it had been…had he been doing that to Jonathan all along, as well? How much was really between them, and how much was a lie? And which parts had been lies? When he'd told Harley he loved the both of them, what had that been? He found himself thinking of his mother, though he wasn't sure why. All the terrible men she'd been with, the way she'd forgive them for any deed, no matter how bad, it seemed, without so much as a second thought if they said the right words? He'd always despised his mother, for the relationships and her lack of concern for him and everything else, but was he becoming like her without realizing it? The accent from earlier, the imitation of her voice…he wondered now if that had been some sort of Freudian slip, his subconscious warning him to watch out.

And then he noticed that the halls were completely empty, and stopped wondering about anything but that. "Where are all the employees?" Had the Joker's men started a massacre already? He'd thought they were the only ones here, except for the lackey operating the floodlight on the roof.

"Probably all glued to the news by now," Joker said, pulling him along briskly. "The bombs have gone off, the city's gotta be in chaos at this point."

He swallowed hard, nearly choking. "How long ago did they set off the bombs?"

"Eh…" Joker glanced at his watch. "'Bout ten minutes ago. Why?"

Oh, fuck. "Didn't your man on the roof turn on the signal at the same time they detonated the explosives?" he asked, steps quickening.

"Yep. So Batsy's probably almost here. Makes things way more exciting, huh?"

"Shit," Jonathan muttered, breaking into a run.