"Wouldn't [Japan] still be mad at America, though?"
"You know how your computer breaks a lot, [Name]?"
*Silence*
*Laughter*
"No, that's because it's made in America."
"O~oh!"
- During a discussion about Japan supplying the US with war things during the Korean War, after WWII. Some guy, usual guy, everyone, teacher, everyone.
o.o.o.o.o
A/N: Has anyone else noticed how prone I am to giving people lasting injuries and describing them in disturbing detail?
o.o.o.o.o
"I am going to KILL YOU!"
Shikamaru's eyes widened as the girl, who was by now a familiar face to most of Naruto's circle of friends, attacked him, seemingly out of the blue.
Rage colored her face as threw bomb after bomb at him, many of the projectiles flying wide as her anger caused her aim to go wild.
Shikamaru dodged time and again, and at one point, after he had already gotten rather severe injury on his leg, the crater-like gouge in his leg burnt and sizzling, managed to fling up his arms and form the seals necessary to—
"Kagemane no Jutsu, complete." He grit out, trying to ignore the stinging in his leg.
Deidara strained against the bonds, and then the tension in her muscles disappeared, her eyes closing.
Shikamaru took a step forward, causing Deidara to do the same, and then another and another, stopping when they were only a few steps away from one another. Then a smirk curled over Deidara's face, even as Neji shot forward to incapacitate her, and Shikamaru froze in horror as the color leached from the woman's body, turning the same color as the clay of her bombs.
The voice came from above, and Shikamaru turned his head even as he jumped back with his good leg, to see nothing.
"Katsu, you little s***, un!"
Shikamaru had trouble avoiding this explosion, and ended up turning around to avoid the brunt of the explosion, the heat from it searing the cloth of his chunin vest against his back, the ridges of his spine pressing into the melting synthetic material.
She'd switched herself out with a clone before the fight had even started, he realized in horror.
The missed throws had been faked.
She had been in control of the situation the entire time.
Shikamaru heard TenTen yell something, and smelled the smoke that signaled the unsealing of one of the kunoichi's weapons. He couldn't focus on the fight though… his vision was growing darker, fuzzier. He'd lost too much blood, was feeling too much pain, to stay awake.
He felt something cold and slippery pick him up from where he was on the ground, crouched over as he was. The smell of ink entered his nose, and he relaxed, if only slightly, as the ink construct brought him over to Sai. TenTen, from what he could hear, was fighting Deidara, with help from Sai, and not doing very well. Neji had apparently gone over to fight the men that were busy finishing up with the digging, but the fight was three on one in that case, and… and…
Shikamaru could only think one thing as he lost consciousness:
Geniuses or not, none of us are getting out of this alive.
o.o.o.o.o
Suigetsu bit his lip to keep from cursing as a strike from the pale-eyed boy solidified his arm. Half of Suigetsu's style was based off of his Kekkei Genkai, and if he didn't have that to rely on… well, things weren't impossible, but they were certainly difficult.
Suigetsu dropped back, letting Sasuke and Juugo take over for a minute, jumping down into the hole to (hopefully) grab the last few parts of the cadaver and get out of there before they had Konoha on their a** like Karin wanted to be on Sasuke's.
…That simile fit way too well. He was never using it again.
He sat at the bottom, breath heaving, and leaned back on his hands, stretching his neck as the sounds of fighting occupied the area above him. As it was, they probably didn't even need him, and…
Suigetsu blinked and glanced down at his hand, realizing that there was something cold, smooth, and hard digging into the heel of his palm. He turned slightly, shifting his weight to his other arm as he sifted through the dirt.
He came up with a ring, one with a kanji, the kanji for 'three,' on it.
Suigetsu's eyes narrowed in thought. He'd seen Deidara wearing a similar ring, the whole time they'd travelled. Juugo had once commented, in private, that Deidara's hand often drifted to the ring subconsciously when Akatsuki was mentioned.
This one must've been the 'dead' guy's, then, Suigetsu decided. Maybe it had a seal or something in or on it, meant for only Akatsuki members?
Well, there was only one thing to do, then.
Suigetsu picked the ring up and forced some chakra into it.
o.o.o.o.o
A head of orange hair turned sharply. Pein stared at his ring with Rinnegan eyes as it pulsed with unfamiliar chakra from a very familiar ring signal.
He frowned and pushed his own chakra into it.
"Who are you?" Pein asked, taking care to make his voice as authoritative as possible.
"Whoa, hey, um… my name's Suigetsu."
Pein frowned (and back in his recuperative chamber, Nagato did the same). The voice was young, younger than even Deidara.
"What are you doing with this ring?"
The boy on the other end of the rings dithered for a second or two. "I found it at the bottom of the hole that Deidara had us dig to get the dead immortal priest guy."
Pein sighed. He really should have expected this earlier. "I see. And why did you attempt to contact me?"
"Uh, well… it was kind of an accident. I just found it after I jumped in to take a break from the fighting after that Hyuuga got me, and decided to see if there was anything sealed inside."
Pein ignored the blatant recklessness of the action in favor of questioning the boy on what he considered a more important issue. "Why is there fighting occurring?"
"Uh… 'cause the guy that buried the priest showed up and Deidara decided to try an' kill 'im?" Suigetsu sounded hesitant.
"Stop him."
"…What?"
"Stop Deidara. We don't need a war on our hands. Not yet."
"Uh… okay. I'll… I'll try, I guess. The fighting's mostly over, though. I don't think anyone's dead. Oh, and she's a girl right now."
"Don't kill them, then. Take them hostage, or for information, but do not kill them. It will only incite a quicker response. If it is obvious that Deidara is involved, Konoha will be lax. Keeping them alive will benefit Akatsuki in the long run." He needed a way to be sure that his orders were followed, though… "If Deidara herself does not contact me within fifteen minutes, I will send one of our own to check on the situation."
"Okay. Sasuke's here too, though, so that might change a few things."
"Just do as I told you, boy." Pain cut the connection, and felt it hesitantly disappear from the other end as well.
He pinched the bridge of his nose. D***it, Deidara.
Now he'd have to tell Sasori.
And Tobi.
And Konan.
Pein groaned and put his head in his hands.
o.o.o.o.o
Karin turned her head to stare as Suigetsu burst out of the hole in the ground and headed straight for… Deidara-san?
She blinked as, instead of fighting anyone, the idiot actually started shouting at the bomber. There was a shouting match, during which neither of them, surprisingly, got killed, but there was still the whole principle of the matter, and… and she'd gotten off topic, hadn't she?
Deidara looked irritated, now, and the chakra that Karin could sense from her corroborated that fact. The dirty look she sent to the attackers, particularly the boy with the spiky ponytail, showed that the fight would be over quickly.
A vial was quickly slipped out of a pocket, and seconds later, one of Deidara's creations exploded and released an orange haze.
And then over half the clearing lost consciousness.
Karin edged over to the only person left in the clearing that was awake other than herself and Deidara. "Juugo?"
The mottled dark skin began fading back to Juugo's normal color, and he turned to Karin. "Do you know what happened?"
"It was a knock-out gas. I can nullify it if I focus due to being a medic, and Deidara-san probably has acquired immunity to it, if she was using it at all. And you…"
"We can blame the curse seal enzyme." Juugo said as he finally returned to normal, and then turned to look at the woman that was probably their leader at the moment.
"Deidara-san?" Karin approached her slowly. The woman hadn't moved since everyone had gone down.
"…I'm fine, un." Deidara shook her head and seemed to deflate. She pulled a pair of syringes out of a scroll (where was she holding them all?) and handed them to Karin. "Use these to wake up the Hozuki and the Uchiha, un. We need to take these guys back to Ame, and the three of us can't carry everyone back alone until we get there, un. We'll be traveling slowly anyway, so we need as many people working on this as possible, un."
Karin nodded, taking the syringes and going to wake up Sasuke-kun and the water-logged idiot. She wasn't in any hurry to irritate Deidara, not after what had just happened. After she finished, ensuring that the liquid was pumping through their veins and on its way to waking them up, she turned, only to find Deidara apparently arguing with thin air.
"-m fine! I used Danna's poison in a bomb, un, took them out without hurting them, un, everything!"
Karin avoided Deidara as she edged around, back towards Juugo, who had already carried Suigetsu and Sasuke over to a clear area where they could wake up without trouble. The two weren't close, but Karin trusted him to protect her if necessary.
"Alright, alright." Deidara still had her hand on her ring, but her eyes were closed, and she seemed to be resisting the urge to put a hand to her temple. "I'll stay under control, un. I didn't kill anyone now, un, did I?"
Karin noticed that Suigetsu seemed to be waking up, and leaned down to quickly shove a hand over his mouth, putting the finger of her other hand to her lips and then pointing at Deidara.
"Fine, but do I at least get permission to punish any of them if they p*** me off, un? I won't make it permanent or dangerous or even painful, un… of course that's what I'm thinking of doing as a punishment, un, what else would I do?"
Suigetsu, when he was fully aware, shoved her away and threw her a dirty look.
Deidara turned around and strode over, just as Sasuke began waking up. "We're taking these guys hostage, un. Uchiha, Hozuki, each of you carry one, un. Juugo, you take two. I'll… I'll carry Hidan, un. Karin, you keep your senses open to make sure no one follows us, un. You're not carrying anyone."
"Oi, why doesn't the red b**** have to carry anyone?" Suigetsu complained, finally getting to his feet.
"Because she's the medic, un. I want her to have as much energy as possible so that she can heal Hidan tonight, un." Deidara folded her arms, daring Suigetsu to object.
"I can't."
Karin's comment brought Deidara's head whipping around, eyes narrowed. "I hope you're joking, un."
Karin crossed her arms. "Don't ask for the impossible. I can do it eventually, but I can't do it all in one night. He's still alive, but getting him back into shape from that—" Karin pointed at the cadaverous limbs. "—Is going to take a lot more than just one evening of effort."
"You're lucky you're the only here that's capable of healing anyone here, un, missy." Deidara glowered. "Fine. Just let me put the collars on them, un. Check to see if there's anything left in the hole, un."
Karin blinked, and tried to quash the nasty satisfaction in her gut at seeing that someone else was going to suffer the indignity of the clay collars.
Five minutes later, they were off.
o.o.o.o.o
A/N: Did anyone else notice that no one bothered to heal Shikamaru?
And yes, for all you Shika fans, I kept him alive. But quite frankly, his current situation isn't much of an improvement over dying. Nor is anyone else's.
I've recently begun shipping Menma x Karin (MenKa). I'm pretty sure I'm the only one that does, but still… it's such a crack pairing. I'm probably never going to write it anywhere, but it's a funny one.
Ja ne,
Phoenix