Thanks to guest for reviewing. YAY. This story is at more than a hundred reviews. Thank you to everyone who's reviews so far.
I'll answer each review for themselves
Guest: Ryan was forever saying he was fine, or saying nothing at all while everyone went on as if nothing had happened, depending on whatever trauma he was facing, or never bothering to consider what his life was like and what that meant for him. He was supposed to just fit into their world, or else was the implied warning. And he knew that he had no other alternative because he had no one. Even the most self-reliant 11-year-old who has been through so much all of his life can only hold it all in for so long, especially if he's provoked. At least Sandy is someone he can confide in and hope that it won't mean the worst kind of trouble and more abandonment.
Sure, Sandy has to take on helping everyone, but Ryan can't be expected to tackle all of this. Kirsten is a very capable adult with her own support system beyond Sandy and their son has multiple family members. It's up to them to help each other. They're in very different positions and aren't nearly impacted the ways that Ryan is. It's like triage.
Thanks for this one and now there's another posted too.
Answer from Linneagb: Ryan's like that, isn't he? It's so easy for anyone to think the world he's in now is better than Chino and his old life, but it's not that simple. And this just came so sudden for all of them. It's quite obvious they would depend on each other after being there together. And Hailey and Caleb aren't the best supports are they? You're welcome, thanks for the review and yeah. I just love writing for this story.
Guest: I'm glad that Sandy called Seth out and made him face responsibility for what seems like a first time or very rarely. Maybe it's me, but I'm not so sure that Seth didn't know what he was saying and did it anyway. Yes, he doesn't think, or think of anyone besides himself typically, but I'm not sure that part of him didn't want to push Ryan just because he could and because he's angry.
I'm also not sure what to make of him blaming Sandy and Kirsten for his lack of friends and acceptance. I think that's something that's about him, not them, and less about one place over another. It feels like excuses. But then, truth be told, I'm not concerned about him or wanting to analyze any reasons. It's hard for me to be interested in him because it's hard for me to like me. Sorry, but Ryan's the draw for me and always has and will be!
Thanks for the newest one too.
Answer from Linneagb: I don't know about you, but I actually think Seth has been handling this quite well. And a lot better than most others his age would do. Seth isn't blaming Sandy and Kirsten. He's explaining why Captain Oats meant so much to him.
It doesn't have to be excuses. There's always someone who's got it worse than you. Take someone who's lost a limb, maybe more. And lost their children- everyone knows that's the worse that could ever happen to a human being, and still lives in Thailand so have to see those places day in and day out. Is Sandy supposed to go back there because those are worse off and help?
Yes, Ryan's got the worst of this. But both Kirsten and Seth are at least trying to adjust to that and admitting that Sandy was busy so they were trying to keep it from him. Kirsten has even been sick and trying not for Sandy to know because she knows Sandy's busy with what's going on with Ryan. And twist and turn it however much you like, being there for Ryan, Sandy still has to be there for his wife and son. Whom he have forgotten with everything going on. And as Seth said himself- it's not about things. Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Well this chapter was written and uploaded quickly haha. But I needed something to do and I've been ill so I stayed home from work and voila!
The night after talking to both of my son's I couldn't sleep all night.
I was starting to get way too used to sleepless nights and nightmares. I was starting to get way too used to my brain being way too foggy to even know what to do or what to say at any time.
All night I laid throwing myself back and forth and going through every single moment I could remember since finding Ryan in that hospital room on the other side of the world.
After hours of thinking, as the clock passed by in the speed of a snail, there was one thought only that kept hitting me. I knew there was only one thing that could be done- there was only thing that needed to be done and…
It would hopefully make the best solution for us all, Ryan especially. Still I kept shoving the thought away. It was just so major and could I really bring something up, just like that?
I still hadn't slept when I thought I heard something outside, I looked to the clock and thought I had imagined things when it showed at six in the morning. And then, just as I lied down and tried to sleep a loud ringing went through our big house.
"Who rings the doorbell at this time in the morning?"
I hurried out of bed, not knowing why I was hurrying so much but just knowing I needed to open the door. I unlocked the door without checking through the peephole and was surprised at who was outside.
"Stephen?"
"Frank!"
I couldn't even care to correct him anymore, my tired- ridden mind was too weak and I didn't dare to believe I wouldn't start talking gibberish at any moment.
"You're wondering why I'm here… But you see. I keep on getting these letters." He held up a bunch of letters. "I don't want these letters. I hate these letters. And another one came to… today? Yesterday? Did I wake you up? I'm sorry… I'm not sorry really."
"Why, why. Just… what letters are there?" He handed me the letter and I read it. "Guardian of Ryan Frances Atwood… then your address…"
"He lives here you know. He lives with you…" Frank smirked. "Can you sort this out? I don't want these letters… I don't have the money to pay for them and then they end up even more expensive than before! But you… you live here! You have money! You… you… You… don't happen to have a beer do you?"
"No. No beer." I cleared my throat tiredly. "Is this all you wanted?"
"Yeah… my God, it will be the happiest day of my life the last time I don't have to hear that name ever again… Nanana…" He started humming to himself when he walked down the porch and I slammed the door behind him and locked the door.
"Now that's a middle name to be proud of!" I jumped, I hadn't noticed Kirsten coming up to me and reading on the letter. "What is it?"
"Hospital bill… oh my God…" A dizziness spell suddenly made the ground rock underneath me and I fell down onto the bench by the door and dropped the rest of the letters to the floor all at once. "Just a second. I just need to…"
Sleep! I just needed to sleep!
"Sandy? Are you feeling okay?"
I didn't open my eyes until I felt Kirsten's hand against my forehead, when I opened them just enough to glare at her.
"I'm fine…" What I had thought about all night suddenly came flooding into my mind all at once. "Just go into the kitchen. I need to talk to you two about something…."
"Should I get Ryan?"
"No…" I gave another deep, heavy sigh and left the envelopes lying on the floor. "…and a cup of coffee."
I didn't even care to look at Seth or Kirsten while they put up breakfast and I watched the coffee pot as if to speed it with my vision only. The thought hit me time again that I didn't have to do this now, that it could wait for another while.
But if not now then when?
"Well I guess we just saw… Wait… where did your mum go?" I looked around the room and found only Seth sitting by the table. And not Kirsten, then remembered what he had told me yesterday. "I'll go check on her."
"No need." Kirsten just came back into the kitchen with one hand on her stomach. "I feel fine."
I poured up a glass of water for her and a coffee for myself, anything to make time pass by until I could at least keep my eyes open and the floor had stopped rocking.
"What did you want to talk about dad?... Is it something about Ryan? Is it about yesterday? I know I was mean but I thought we'd left it behi…"
"Yes…" I interrupted him. "…and no. And I didn't want to get Ryan's hopes up for something that might not happen. But I wanted to know… after everything, how would you feel if… if Ryan stayed here… with us…"
"You mean…" I waited for a second, for the others to put it together. "As if you and mum would… adopt him?"
"Hrm… Just give me a minute." I had to close my eyes when the floor started rocking again. "Hrm… adopt… Yeah… I guess that's the simplest way of saying it… After what happened yesterday. I don't know if we should do something that… drastic right away. But… of course. I could sort out so that we're… or at least I am Ryan's legal guardian… Lord knows that man can't have that sort of that responsibility on his hands. And of course I… any of us would want Ryan in the middle of that whole system… But I'm not going to do anything without hearing you two out. And I actually will this time!"
And here I was and there was no turning around.
"And… you guys don't have to give me an answer today, or this week or this year. If so, I can sort out something temporarily. I just want to make this go as smoothly for all of us."
"I want you to adopt him! I know I do! I really do!"
I was hit off a bit by Seth's soon and sudden answer…
"You must understand now Seth. That if we make a choice like this…"
"But he needs us."
"Yes, he does. But you also need to understand that with this the responsibility it's not one we can take back. It's going to count tomorrow and next year and in ten years. And that is even though you might not want it to. Ryan's going to be here just as much as you are."
"Why wouldn't I want him to?"
"Seth." For just a moment I couldn't help to give a small smile. "Do you know how many times I wished Lucien and Dora far, far gone? It's a part of having and being a sibling, because that's what you will be- brothers."
Seth looked thoughtful and leaned his head to the side for a moment. Meanwhile I still looked at Kirsten.
"Like I told you yesterday it's just so easy to get used to someone being here when you start to accept it. I couldn't imagine the house without him… He's a good kid! It just took me a while before I really saw it."
"And…" I said after a while in silence (and a couple of cups of coffee). "…You already know what I think."
I felt really strange. I had expected this decision to be more than only a quick talk by the breakfast table…
"So what happens now?"
"What happens…" I had to think for a moment. "First of all I need to have a talk with Ryan. Lord knows how he's doing right now with everything that's going on. And then, I have to get in contact with court, and a lawyer…"
"But you're a lawyer." Seth interrupted. "Can't you do it?"
"I am a public defender. And adoptions aren't my cases. You need a family law attorney for that."
"Do you need any… family lawyer?"
"Yes."
"Can't you choose one to help us? Someone who knows us so maybe… well… Knows we wouldn't ever hurt Ryan or anything like that."
"It doesn't work like that."
"But it should!"
"No it shouldn't."
All the children this system had already failed despite every single question, every single record and every little sheet of paper…
"There will be people, one man or woman in particular handling our case but there will be more of them. He or she will come here, to our home and check every single millimeter so they can be sure we don't have drugs or anything else causing unnecessary risks for Ryan- or any child. They'll talk to all of us separately, both of you and me and Ryan and make sure we all tell the truth. It's only that way they can make sure what we're saying is true with asking every single question they can think of. They will go through our health records, our criminal records."
"But we've never committed a crime."
"I know that… There will be heaps and heaps of paper work and dotted lines to say for us. There will be full days in court. Frank will be there and he too will have his own lawyer…. I know Seth. I don't think he deserves one neither but this is the way it has to be."
"How long will it take?"
The room had finally stopped spinning around me and I could count on what needed to be done and how. Something I couldn't have just a few minutes ago.
"At least six months."
Six months was a long time for a child.
"Frank could start acting up about it, or there could be something else- that you or I or Kirsten are doing something the social services don't like…"
"But what could it be?"
"That could be anything. We don't think we're doing anything wrong but… all we can do is try and tell the truth and keep calm and patient and then… all of a sudden, things work out. And no matter what…" I couldn't quite find the right words.
"…We'll kind of be brothers."
"Yeah…" I said after a few seconds. "If Ryan wants to and everything- then you'll be brothers!"
Random fact
I don't know anything about adoption or things. But I can promise you that I'll do my best and try to make all research I can. And then hopefully this will make a good story and realistic as well.