Perhaps TC would have appreciated a universe with Alexis and a version of himself being together, if he knew what was to come after. But first, he had to repair the damages that Thundercracker had done to this Alexis when she found out how close he and her grandmother had been from Bumblebee. Alexis did not leave the Seeker as the grandfather had expected. But that information had strained the relationship due to the sensitive nature of her having been compared to her grandmother for far too long. The damage had fortunately only been momentarily, other truths coming to light that made their bond an even closer one.

TC knew what damages could come from lying to someone you cared about. He had, after all, pretended to be someone else entirely in order to stay close to his Alexis.

He and Alexis being together, the Seeker was learning, was something entirely uncommon. And whom she usually ended up with, while not as surprising as it could have been was equally disturbing. Starscream, if she happened to cross paths with him, always Airaih if she ever left Earth. And there were some other odd pairings in there that managed to derail and stupefy him.

He found intense loneliness could be could be triggered by the simplest things. By words, by a phrase, even from a familiar gesture. By a version of his Trinemate, by her, even a stranger. Or just a universe that was familiar in a way that weighed him down and left him heavily set on his purpose.

TC would search for as long as it took. But Alexis had such a short life-span, something he was thinking about more and more. A fact that nurtured his despair and made him desperate for results, not universes that mocked and belittled him, showing him things that truly he never needed to witness.

Like now.

Like what was going on in an interrogation room.

TC could sense the other Alexises easily now, and while he was learning it was better to avoid most, sometimes, out of a sheer sparkache, he needed to see one to witness her breathing, talking, anything that made her more real than the vivid impressions that Alexis was starting to become.

Not that he was forgetting her. But recalling her could be damaging and lead him on a path of pain and destruction that held no place on the road he needed to travel.

He would find himself unhinged at the most inopportune times. TC didn't like seeing Alexis with others. Witnessing her interact with them did not fail to afflict him, to bring him to a state of misery that was as potent as what intimate betrayal would have felt like. He was having a more difficult time distinguishing what was his and what certainly wasn't, his spark exposing him to new forms of weakness and conflict by its inability to separate the visual input from the deeply rooted bond he held with his own Alexis.

His optics burned as he stared through the thick glass of the interrogation room. The odd pair inside did not see him, which would have at least interrupted them.

Alexis was chained to a chair. But by the looks of it, not for long. Her body language was tense yet remarkably calm considering a particularly vicious Con was with her. She began to speak to him, her tone particularly soft, yet firm, and entirely bewitching. The Decepticon obeyed every word she uttered as if some puppy eager to please its master.

"You did good. Thank you," she praised Barricade when he undid the last manacle that had held her right foot to the metal floor beneath. Despite being free, the female didn't move, her attention cautiously placed on the fearsome scout who towered above her.

The hunter bent down before the small human, his right servo stretched toward her. The female leaned down toward him, used her hand to lift the scout's face more level to her own. Her fingers traced the sharp edges of his face, Barricade's optics following her movements in obvious rapture, his engines purring quick and hot.

"Now it is I who is indebted to you," Alexis spoke more clearly despite the quietness of her words.

"Yes," the scout hissed with a rumble of pleasure. One of his large digits moved up her outer thigh when she began to stretch her body. He stopped as if caught in something he wasn't allowed, not yet. Barricade stilled, his optics pinning her completely until he lowered his head in restless obeisance.

"Get me out of here? I need to save my brother." Barricade's head shot up at her request. He looked intently over her tiny form again, the female's reflection mirrored in his darkened optics. He nodded his head, obeying her without argument, ever eager to comply. He backed away from the female, then came back with her weapons. Alexis quickly checked them, paying careful attention to a modified gun that she holstered on her right thigh.

The scout left the room momentarily, returning after he made sure the hallways were clear. Then he picked the human up, placed her inside his chassis and rolled into his alt mode, speeding down the empty corridor.

Explosions rocked the base several long minutes later.

TC did not follow.

More and more, he would identify that it wasn't his Alexis from a good distance. He didn't need to see her. TC didn't think he could take much more of that. And while he always considered himself to have a highly sophisticated reasoning matrix, he also knew how easily it was to be corrupted by the untruths the universes kept offering him.

If he had any less of a processor he would have started to doubt his mission, and his belief that there was an Alexis out there that was his, all his. One that didn't come to him just because he could protect her, didn't go to his berth because of the allowances she got in return, even if it was for the safety of her family.

That he never needed to experience again.

He'd seen so much already. He knew he was going to see much more.

TC could take it. All of it.

Because none of it was real, not for him. And as long as he knew it wasn't real the intense jealously could be handled, the plaguing disgust could be dealt with. He would find her. He would free her from Sunstreaker's influence.

He had to.

Because that was all that mattered.

Not his sanity. Not the doubts that tried to form about himself, not the humiliations he suffered and endured or the questions that came when he faced an Alexis that was so astoundingly different.

And not in the manner that made his so special.

Slag. He was so lonely for her.

But he was determined too, and would remain focused.

These universes could frag themselves.

He would find Alexis. Or spend the rest of his existence looking for her. Either way, he wasn't giving up. He never did.

She was fraggin' married to Starscream. She was his bondmate. She had spawned Starscream's progeny. She was strong. So fragile. So dedicated.

And she'd been without Starscream for six years.

This Thundercracker had gone with her to look for his Trinemate, but they'd found nothing. The human remained on an isolated moon where she could safely monitor activity, the search for her bondmate her driving factor in life.

He would have considered her obsessed, if not for the way she still managed to nurture her children. Would have considered her foolhardy if he hadn't been so fraggin' enamored with the female. A feeling that had remained throughout the years. One that he kept hidden and contained and managed, not out of respect for his missing Trinemate, but because he wasn't what she wanted, he never had been.

But knowing that did not tap the feelings he held for Alexis.

Thundercracker saw her every couple of months when he brought her tools and supplies and food items. Began to see her even more when she began to stay on Starscream's ship as she monitored the beginning of her sons' education.

She was revered because of her mate, idolized because she had brought new Cybertronian life into the world.

Her children were as diverse as the relationship that had spawned them. Clipper, the youngest, was more sensitive. His more human brother Skyler was the fearless one, undaunted by his brother's already large size, blindly unhindered by his puny, fleshy body. The four-year-olds were growing up so fast. Especially Clipper, who despite his mother's humanity, had been born entirely Cybertronian.

Thundercracker had thought that Alexis having them would have helped her move on from the disappearance of her mate. He'd been wrong. And maybe it shouldn't have irked him so terribly that she just couldn't give up, but lately it was starting to.

Which is where TC came in. Finding himself in another universe where Alexis was so close, and yet so far out of reach. Another one that he couldn't distance himself, or lie to himself out of, even though he really should have.

Because she may not have been his, but she was the fraggin' closest he'd come yet. TC didn't know if it was because the female had bonded to Starscream and held her life signature like a Seeker's, didn't know if it was because she was perceptive, and thoughtful, and so ethereal in her beauty that she didn't just remind him of Alexis, but was her, but suddenly what was real and what wasn't didn't seem like such a broad distinction.

Because this was an Alexis that was her. Their lives had been so different and yet their personalities were so similar. Both were survivors, were believers in a higher source, were capable of hope and unrelenting belief, were filled with so much love.

Being near her made him crack. Seeing their children made him hollow out. Until she gave him something that only an Alexis could: faith.

"So you are from…"

"…another universe," he supplied. He wasn't nervous, but his senses were alive and vivid. He'd taken a chance, told this Alexis who he was, where he was from and what he was trying to do.

And somehow he knew she'd believe him.

His flesh was electrified, and his spark was throwing painful fits that made his insides squirm and tighten in a manner none of the other Alexises had managed.

Alexis took a moment, thought about all that he'd said. Then she stood to her feet, touched the bottom of one of his nearby digits and said something he never expected.

"I want to help you." She frowned. Dropped her head momentarily, only to lift it back up as she stared deep into his optics. She flushed. Took a couple steps back and dropped her hand away from him as if she had been hurt.

"I know what it's like to have lost someone. To not know what's happened to them. To want to find them so fraggin' badly." Her tone softened and her words warbled. She let out a long strained breath of air, then smiled a little at him, her eyes shining with liquid.

"I want to help you find…" she paused with confoundment, and made an adorable scrunched up face. "…Alexis. I am sure with your tenacity you could find her all on your own. But perhaps I can help you make it a little easier?"

"You have an idea?" He sounded sensible. He sounded calm. He wasn't.

She shook her head, bit her lip and wrinkled her small nose. "No, but I think I have access to technology you obviously haven't discovered. But you'll have to trust me."

"This Thundercracker trusts you."

She blushed at that, smiled the widest he'd seen yet. He began to tremble. His vision became spotty and his tank did a curious flip that radiated down to his pediforms.

"I trust you." He forced the words through his mouthpiece, wanting for her to know that. He caught those familiar eyes with his optics, once more losing himself in them. Experiencing this Alexis was ecstasy, was something both painful and illuminating.

He wanted to get closer to her. He wanted to get as far away from her as possible. He wanted to fall on his kneeplates, press against her flesh and run his glossa along….

Slag..

He shook his head, watching the confusion dance over her skin as she watched him ever so very carefully. She saw him, really saw him, fortunately not as clearly as his own Alexis did.

"Perhaps I can help you find Starscream," he suddenly heard himself saying. He didn't want to. A part of him was quite satisfied that they had been separated, and was content to keep it that way. But he couldn't do that to this Alexis. TC wanted to help her. He wanted to take away that despair in her eyes, that expression of someone who had lost more than her share, and was still trying to come to terms with it.

"What?" she asked, entirely astonished.

"Maybe there is something that was missed. I could help you." Now that he'd made the offer, he found he was committed.

Alexis' mouth trembled, she gasped and paled, overwhelmed by his offer. "I… I would like that. Thank you."

So polite. So emotional. So Alexis.

His mainframe nearly crashed when for a very clear moment he picked up the female's feelings: of hope, of loneliness, of something else that peaked out for a moment only to be hurriedly covered.

She was staring at him. He couldn't stop looking at her. He didn't know he was reaching out to touch her until something barreled into the room, a large hybrid feline that gave TC a sniff over before settling protectively by her side. Bright orange eyes remained on the Seeker, a long fluffy tail wrapping around the creature's front legs.

"You back, Growl?" she inquired with obvious affection. The female seemed equal parts pleased and contemplative. She turned to the animal, patted his head and rubbed behind his ears.

Despite the multicolored fur, the thing was far too reminiscent of Soundwave's Ravage, a deadly, capable war machine.

He should have been concerned. But then he saw visions of this Alexis in action, understood that what he saw was definitely not all that she was. She could be as fierce as she was gentle. Protective and so giving, so very…

His spark quickened further. Alexis gently pulled a necklace chain off Growl, and put it around her own neck. "Anything?" she asked, and it wasn't until the feline dropped his head and pawed once at the floor that TC understood she wasn't talking to him.

She frowned, a momentary flicker of despair broadcasted that caught him and left him gasping. But despite what she was feeling, Alexis smiled at him all over again, indicating for him to follow.

Ten minutes later he found himself in Warp's lab.

The Warp in this universe was as brilliant as his own. Only this one knew Alexis, was attached and affectionate toward her, was brutally protective.

So yes, Skywarp assisted him, but not without threats and prejudice, and also what he realized was jealousy. There was resentment as well, because of what he did to his best friend, or perhaps all the recent time he had been spending with Alexis.

His head hadn't stopped spinning. And every time she was in his presence he was frantic for Alexis, near crazy from the longing, the desperation turning into a physical throbbing that made his spark poison him with a bitterness that couldn't be consoled, certainly not by this Alexis, especially because it was she that made this universe a cruelty beyond measure.

Especially when there were moments when she almost felt like his. He was insane. He was sick. His processor was faulty. Because he knew that she wasn't his. He knew it!

And yet time and time again he had to fight himself from touching her. From capturing her and taking her back to his quarters.

His dreams had started again since his universal travels. They amplified his feelings and longings, boosted by the other Thundercracker's own desires until he gave up recharging all together.

He no longer trusted himself. Not with the temptation before him. Because of her voice, because of her scent, because of the way he would sometimes catch her looking at him, a wisp of something in her gaze warming his circuits and trying to make him forget.

But he was incapable of forgetting. Unwilling to acknowledge whatever this universe was trying to entice from him.

He wanted his Alexis. He would settle for no other.

"Skywarp has discovered something." Alexis barreled into the garden bay, a place that she herself attended to. She walked through a tall batch of sunflowers, hardly put off that he happened to be in her private sanctuary. How strange that the small space felt like Earth, even burned like it, a fake sun above nurturing the plethora of plants beneath it.

She was excited. He felt it. And cautious, and a little on edge, which, since he told her the truth, seemed to be the norm. He wanted to expel his tank, to order her away. He didn't want this intimacy. Didn't want to feel her like this. The more he saw her, the more she made him suffer. However unintentional, she must have felt that too.

"We've found Alexis' signal."

They'd already given him so much. He now had the ability to leave and move through universes when and how he saw fit. And they had more information on the makers of the Displacer device than he had seen yet. He was still shifting through all the data.

"That's impossible," he lashed out at her. He felt brutish, he had the intense desire to do whatever it took so this Alexis' compassion and niceties stopped.

He'd been abrupt and distant for the last couple of days, but Alexis seemed quite accustomed to such behavior. The Thundercracker she knew had been like that when she met him, he knew.

"Well, that is, Warp has figured out where she has been, and he thinks he sees a pattern that…"

"Been?" he interrupted her, and this time the force of his voice made her flinch and pale, but she stood her ground.

She shook her head in confusion, not understanding his statement.

He clarified things for her, "She is stuck with Sunstreaker. He took her and buried her in another Alexis." Ironically, not once had he come across Alexis with that Bot. If only Warp had been capable of narrowing the search parameters to when she was near Sunstreaker.

"Not anymore. Her signal must have separated from his some time ago."

"How can you know this?!" he demanded of her, his vocals strained. He didn't understand and he needed to... now.

Alexis sat down on a large nearby rock. Her feet were bare, and she unconsciously buried her toes in the cool dirt below her. She frowned at him. "When Starscream went missing, I tried everything. Searched everywhere. And when Warp told me that Soundwave knew how to travel to different universes, he helped me search those too," she said quietly, patiently, an edge to her voice that pained him to hear. "You're very much in love with her, aren't you?" she suddenly asked, her knowing eyes searching out his optics.

"Yes."

"I catch you looking at me," the female confessed. Color lifted on her cheeks. She nervously bit her mouth. She frowned again. "You make me miss Starscream. You make me…"

"Miserable?"

"Yes," she admitted. "Every day, no matter how good a day it is, it always ends up the same, me without him. His children without a father. Mika tells me its time for me to move on. Bee has started to get that hopeful look again, and I admit there are days I just want to give up and forget Starscream." She hugged her chest tight, her gaze drifting to a miniature waterfall before shifting to the small pond beneath it. "Because remembering what we had, what we shared, what we went through… it doesn't even seem real anymore." Her tone took on a frustration that she usually hid. "Only I can't forget him. No matter how much easier it would be. And you, you constantly make me..." her words dropped away, overwhelmed with sadness.

She abruptly stood. Tears were falling out of her eyes, leaving a glimmering trail down her face.

"You're so lucky," she continued to talk to him as she wiped off her face. Alexis offered him a weary smile. "I know you are going to find Alexis. I feel it. I want it. But I have decided from here on out, you will need to work with Warp and Windglider. I wish you the best of luck Thun… TC, and I will always keep you in my prayers. I hope you find her soon."

But what the female didn't know, what was tearing him up and leaving him unsettled, was that he had kept his promise. While she looked for Alexis, he had looked for her Seeker.

The task had become his obsession, a necessary distraction. He knew where her Starscream was. He just didn't know if he could tell her. Hope, any hope, was far better than this truth.