A random parody of the Walking Dead and the reality TV show 'The Real World.' This is purely for humor and enjoyment and not to be taken seriously.

I do not own the 'Walking Dead' or the 'Real World.'

Competitive Nature

Producers Sasha and Lilly stand before the house mates.

Andrea rolls her eyes folding her arms across her chest.

"You've got a problem, Andrea?" Lilly asks the blonde.

"Finally we don't have to stare down terminus guards and guns for these activities." Andrea answers with an eye roll.

Lilly rolls her eyes as Sasha begins to speak. "We wont need them this time around, not for my latest activity. You guys are actually gonna like this one. Its gonna be a good old fashion scavenger hunt."

Michonne sets her hands on her hips as she's literally ready for this.

Sasha and Lilly share a smile before Sasha speaks again. "Everyone will be partnered in pairs of two, I've chosen the teams at random. You and your partner will head into the near by woods, you will collect the ten different items each riddle clues you to. The winners of the hunt gets an entire day away from filming and the house."

"What if one of us get bit? Aint no way I'm gonna let one of our own turn!" Daryl said.

Merle nodded before saying "Even if one of us do turn, Me-chonne over there's probably chain us up and use us as a pet... maybe she wont even wait for the bite to kill us and just off us herself." He said as Michonne was already taking in the scenery and creating a visual map of the forest in her head, completely oblivious to Merle.

"You will be disqualified if you and your partner both don't make it. One can't be dead, or injured. One can't come back as a walker. This game is about corporation and learning how to keep each other safe." Lilly voices.

As Sasha is naming the teams Lilly is walking around handing out envelopes with the first riddle inside, to each pair.

"Andrea and Beth." Both girls look at each other with an air of skepticism but nod.

'Merle and Daryl." Daryl and Merle both spit in their hands then high fives each other happily cheering. "Dixon!"

"Abraham and Michonne." Michonne looks up at Abe and he looks down at her both nodding confidently.

"And finally Rick and Lori." Lori rolls her eyes as Rick pinches his nose with disappointment.

"Let the hunt begin." Sasha smiles.

A camera follows the teams as they descend into the forest, they all take a moment to think up their game plan and explain their strategies to the camera men.

Team Dixon

"We aint gonna waste no time wif stupid riddles, if we collect one o' everything in the forest, we are bound to get all of the clues... " Merle says in pride as Daryl looks at him like he was explaining a cure for the virus. Daryl nodded before taking one of the biggest bags for their hunt.

Team Sunny Side Up

"What the beep type of team name is that anyway?" Andrea complained at Beth.

"When I can get something that I'm actually proud of, I'll give it a better name, but like always I guess you have to settle-"

"A-hem, so what is your strategy to win?" Glenn says, braking up their bickering.

"I'm gonna use my little friend to-" Andrea is cut off by Beth.

"We might just rob them... but we'll leave some stuff back to help me sleep at night."

Team AM

Michonne and Abraham pass by the camera as the crew try to get her to talk.

"What's your strategy for winning-"

"I'm not trying to win, I will win... step aside." Michonne says while taking the list from Abraham, who looks back at the last team in slight worry before walking off behind Michonne.

Team Lori/Stuff and Thangs

"We couldn't decide on a name, I wanted to go for stuff and thangs because that's what we're looking for... but she wanted Team Dixon, but that was taken-"

"Hurry up and make a beeping decision-"

"Dammit Lori, let me think!" Rick shouts back as he snatches the list away from her and leers at it. "It's upside down... " She says, yanking at the paper before he hisses at her. "I know it's upside down, I was just taking time to think!"

As Daryl and Merle pick up random objects from the forest, Daryl takes a chance to look at the list. "It wouldn't hurt to try reading the clues... " He mumbles as Merle grunts in approval.

"Take me from a tree when I fall to the ground, I'll grow up from the soil that is brown... what the beep?"

"Aint it oblivious baby brother" Merle says at he point towards a tree and Daryl shakes his head. "It's a squirrel... and who around here hunts squirrel...?"

"Me... Is this another riddle?" Daryl pouts in anger as Merle picks up a random mushroom and stuffs it in his rock and dirt filled bag. Daryl looks in the forest before seeing something bushy and yellow in the bushes.

"Jackpot" Daryl aims his crossbow at the bush before letting off an arrow.

Meanwhile Michonne is looking at the list while chopping away at the foliage, she stops, backs up a bit and picks up a purple flower, then continues on without missing a beat.

"Hey Michonne what did you just pick up-"

"Riddle number five, now onto six." She says in a monotone voice making Abraham worry, he wanted her to have fun, not simply win for the sake of winning.

"Hey Michonne, maybe we could take turns finding things-"

"Abraham, lift me onto that tree branch." Michonne commands as Abraham obeys and grips her waist, as they hear Beth's cries in the distance.

During team AM's advancements, the other teams have hit a bit of a snag.

As Beth tumbles out from behind the bushes with Daryl's bolt sticking out of her, Team Sunny Side Up's location was discovered by the Dixons, so Andrea had to jump out with her guns ready to fire.

"Hand over all yo' beep!" Andrea shouts at the Dixons who were watching Beth have a mini spasm on the floor from getting shot by Daryl's arrow.

"What the beep Beth, why you masquerading as a squirrel fore?" Daryl says trying to take bake his bolt from her stomach.

Andrea sees this and yanks the bolt out, throwing it towards the side before yelling at Daryl to "back the beep up!"

"Aw, you can't just yank it out like that, I could have internal bleeding-I knew stealing would kill me one day, I'm not dying for your stupid ass plan Andrea-" Beth yells, holding her now open wound.

"Get their beep before I let you internally bleed out!" Andrea warns as Beth drags Merle's bag away and begins to search inside it. Suddenly Beth screams throwing the bag aside as a walker head and an irritate raccoon roll out.

"Did you get bit?!" Daryl says as everyone switches their weapons to point at her.

"It was the raccoon, I swear!" Beth says hiding her bleeding wound as she tries to nurse it away from the group.

"Zero tolerance for walkers!" Daryl says grabbing her shoulder as she tries to back away.

"You a walkerist, you don't even know if I'm a walker or not and here you are trying to attack me, I thought you were better than that Daryl!" Beth say making Daryl throw his hand up in defense.

"I aint the racist one I-hey, she's getting away! Get her and check out that bite!" Daryl shouts as he and Merle chase after Beth, who was zigzagging through the trees for her life. Andrea looks back at the the Dixon's bag and smirks, taking it away with her.

Andrea sees Beth screeching like a lunatic while the Dixon brothers chase after her as Merle yells "She trying to call upon her undead legion, Deeerrrrl shoot er!"

Andrea's confessional. "So apparently one of Sasha's rules were that we couldn't be injured, and that stupid Beth kept bleeding all over the place. Why couldn't she hide her puncture wound and her bite, and her cheek after I slapped her? Dammit, the insolence in that girl.

Back with Rick's team, he was busy looking at roots and grass, in an attempt to distract himself from his ex-wife's complaining.

"Rick it's hot, let me use the list as a fan." Lori whines as Rick yet again ignores her.

"Rick, my feet hurt... Rick, I'm thirsty... It's hot Rick come on." She blows a strand of hair away from her face as Rick stares at some plants.

"RRiiiccckkkkkk-"

"Unless you got the answer to number one, I don't wanna hear it Lori!" Rick warned as Lori saw Andrea snaking off in the distance with a large bag no doubt full of items, giving Lori an idea.

Lori's confessional. "I see Andrea off in the distance lugging this huge bag, meanwhile Rick and I have literally nothing. We needed to snatch Andrea's bag and I needed to light a fie under Rick's ass to do it.

"Rick literally everyone is making progress except us. Do you even care about this hunt?"

"Lori I'm trying my best here."

"Well maybe your best aint good enough Rick! Maybe I should find a better partner Rick! Its not like I haven't before Rick!"

Rick whips his head around as he crazily stares at his ex wife while tilting his head dramatically to the left like he'd draining water out of his ear.

Footage switches to team AM. Michonne looks down reading the riddle to herself, as Abraham is a foot away hacking at a few walkers. As one is approaching her, she unsheets her katana not looking up from the sheet of paper and casually decapitates the walker. Abraham raises an eyebrow at the display.

"Alright, I've figured this one out."

"Michonne..." he says with some concern for her then notices chaos in the far distance as Beth is being carried off on a stretcher screaming "it was a raccoon," and Andrea is angrily kicking and yelling as terminus guards are carrying her away.

"What the hell is going on back there, Michonne look-"

"Abe if they want to turn a simple game into a war zone, let them. I don't care." She replies coldly.

"What the hell has gotten into you?!" Abraham screams at her but she doesn't flinch only looks up at him slowly. "We do not coddle the enemy. We do not acknowledge the weak. We move forward even if we have to use their corpses as stepping stones to do it."

"Damn" Abraham responds.

As Michonne and Abraham see a collapsed rope bridge, Michonne unleashes her katana and tells Abraham to grab a rope.

"We'll grab onto these ropes and cut them, then we'll swing across- use your legs to propel yourself off the wall when you come near it." Michonne waits as Abraham puts his life in her hands before she cuts the rope and waits for him to swing across. "You better survive the jump Abraham. If you lose I lose. And I do not lose. EVER!"

"Look baby brother-it's Mi-Chonne, we gotta stop her from hacking up the bridge!" Merle cries out making Michonne look back at them for a second before cutting the rotting ropes holing the wooed bods in place, she finally cuts her own rope and swings down.

The Dixon brothers have a mini heart attack until they see Abraham climbing up the rope as he bends down to hold Michonne's rope while she climbed up, not even giving a glance back the brothers as her team descends into the forest.

"She cut the beeping rope- she a cheater, come on Daryl, we gonna make a jump for it!"

"We gonna jump over the river?"

"Naw, you dummy, we gonna jump for the ropes, shimmy up and over towards the other side!" Merle says as Daryl and him run back a bit before jumping down.

Daryl completely misses his rope and tumbles down into a shallow part of the river, as his brother actually reaches out at the last second and grabs his rope, but not without bashing his face into the side of the wall first.

"You supposed to run then jump, not just leap off the cliff- ya gotta use yah glute mussels-" Merle scolds his brother's stupidity.

"I was running on beeping adrenalin, ok-oh beep, I think I really beeped up this time!" Daryl yells up to his dangling brother as Merle finally realizes the flaw in his plan.

"How the hell am I supposed to climb wif one beeping hand-this was a beep plan from the get-go!" Merle complains.

"It was your plan, dammit Merle, there's a stick pocking out of me... oh god, it beeping hurts-"

"Don't be such a little beep-just pull it out!"

"Oh beep! I just realized that we left our bag on the other side."

"Wut!?"

Rick and Lori are still on clue number one. And Lori is furious. She looks up again seeing Andrea gone but the bag she saw her with still laying there. Thinking its a trap that could get her hurt, she sends Rick to go get the bag.

"Its a man's job to face danger."

"That don't even make sense. First you don't want me to lead you into danger, now you willing to put our lives in danger."

"Not our lives just yours."

Rick angrily storms over to the bag with Lori following behind. "Search the bag." He screams pointing at the bag with his gun.

"No!"

"Search the damn bag Lori.

"No."

"As your leader I command you to search the damn bag!"

"You search the bag!"

"This is not a democracy anymore, if i make a demand I expect you to follow it."

"I only follow real men Rick, and since I see none around me at the moment I aint gotta do squat."

Rick's confessional. "I just kept chanting in my head...Carl needs his mother...Carl needs his mother, but does he? I mean does he really need her? I feel like she aint long for this world, like she aint even supposed to be here right now. Like she's overstayed her welcome."

Rick stands up and looks at her dead in the eyes, "well then I guess we've got ourselves a little problem." As a lone walker is approaching behind Lori, Rick kicks Lori towards the walker.

She screams.

"You search the bag and I'll kill the walker." Rick says as she's running around as the walker is gripping at her hair.

"Rick help me!"

"I can't hear you over the sound of you not searching through that bag. You wanted a commanding leader now you've got one."

"you murderous bastard-"

The camera pans away as two gun shots are heard then Rick walks past the frame sliding his gun back into its holster. He then leans down and checks into the bag, "oh there aint nottin' in here."

Sasha comes up to Rick. "Where's your partner? You'll be disqualified without her."

"Half of her could be in a walker, and the rest of her could be back in the forest. I just don't give a beep anymore."

Sasha sighs and turns on her walkie talkie, "Rick's out...look for Lori's remains I guess." Sasha shakes her head, finally coming to terms with the fact that none of her awesome activities will ever have the proper outcome with these people.

Michonne and Abraham are at the finish line, having collected all the items hours ago.

"So let me get this straight, I had to jump off a cliff, kill forty walkers, wrestle an anaconda, fight off some ninjas, and all this time we already won because those idiots sabotaged their own teams?!"

Michonne shrugs and nods at him. "Yes."

"Well aint that a beep. "