"… and you must be Clarke!" Gustus greeted the blonde with a wide smile when he turned to her, while Indra and Anya took their time hugging Lexa, who tried to wiggle herself out of the embraces.
"That would be me, Sir." Clarke nodded with a polite smile and accepted the offered handshake.
She was incredibly nervous. It was the 23rd of December and she and Lexa would be spending the next few days with Lexa's family, and Clarke was praying to the Gods that everything would be going well, that she wouldn't embarrass herself too much, and, most importantly, that Lexa's family would accept her, that they would trust her and have faith that she was a good girlfriend for Lexa, and that she would give her girl everything and anything that she deserved, and more.
"If you call me 'Sir' again, I will have to strangle you with my bare hands. You're important to Lexa, so you're important to us as well. Please, call me Gustus." The huge man offered and Clarke thought he looked more like a giant teddy bear now that he was grinning like a Cheshire cat.
Way to go, Clarke!
So here she was, wanting nothing more than to hole up, preferably a few thousand miles away. Maybe Australia, she thought, yeah, Australia sounds good.
But unfortunately, that wasn't really an option right now.
Before the greetings could get any more embarrassing, Anya pushed Clarke into the house and told her to flop down on the couch and relax for a moment, which Clarke was incredibly thankful for. A moment later, Lexa burst into the living room and Clarke immediately shot up when she noticed the panic in the girl's eyes.
"Hey, hey Lex," she pecked her girl's lips, "you okay?"
Lexa stared back at her with wide eyes for a moment, before she quickly lowered her head, but Clarke could see how the girl squeezed them tightly a few times, her fingers fiddling with the hem of her shirt.
"I–" she cleared her throat and Clarke reached down and took Lexa's hands to ground her a bit. "I was talking to Gustus and suddenly, you were gone and I–" she took a deep breath and Clarke's eyes softened even more, "and I thought you were…"
"Hey…" Clarke said softly and kissed the girl's cheek before she pulled her into a hug. "I'm here, I'm not going anywhere. Why should I leave?"
Lexa shrugged and buried her nose into the crook of the blonde's neck, while Clarke started to gently rub the girl's back. "I'm right here, okay?" She said and slightly tightened her embrace to show Lexa that she was there with her, and nowhere else. It took her a moment but eventually, Lexa nodded and Clarke nodded as well before pulling back a bit so that she could see the brunette's face.
"I want to be here with you," she reassured Lexa softly and tucked some stray hair behind her girl's ear, "I don't want to be anywhere else, and I'm not leaving, okay?"
Lexa stared at Clarke's necklace for a long moment while she processed what Clarke had promised her, and then nodded her head.
They were so lost in the moment, in their own little bubble, so oblivious to their surroundings, that they didn't notice Anya who slowly turned around and left the room with a smile after witnessing the scene. She was happy for Lexa. She really was, incredibly much. But as happy as she was for her little sister, she couldn't deny that she also felt a hint of sadness, a small lump in her throat at the realization that Lexa wasn't their little one anymore. That, eventually, Lexa had grown up. That Lexa had found a loving and caring significant other, and, although she didn't really believe in such a cheesy concept, Anya was sure that Clarke might as well be The One for Lexa.
"So, Clarke," Gustus began and handed Indra the bowl of potatoes, "what's your major?"
Well shit. Clarke thought and took a sip of her water to win some time. "Art…stuff." She said and hoped she hadn't completely screwed up yet. Art wasn't exactly the most promising profession. Contrary to what she had expected, Gustus' smile widened a bit as he nodded. "Lexa's told us a lot about your own art. Apparently, you're quite talented?"
Clarke wasn't sure if it was a question or a statement, so she decided to shrug and hoped that the blush on her cheeks was indication enough that it wasn't her favorite topic, and fortunately, Gustus seemed to sense her unease.
He nodded friendly to reassure Clarke that it was absolutely okay, before he turned his focus to the rest of the table. He looked around and smiled at Lexa when he realized that she hadn't started eating yet, which she accidentally did from time to time, forgetting that one didn't start eating until everyone had food on their plate, and Lexa beamed back at him.
And Clarke smiled as well. It was clear that they loved Lexa, and even if she hadn't had met Quint Woods, she still would know exactly that having a family like them was not to be taken for granted, and that Lexa was incredibly lucky to have them. And the other way around, of course.
Apart from occasionally praising the potatoes or the filets, they mostly ate in silence, until Indra took a sip of her wine and spoke.
"So how are things at home, at college? Any news? How is living with Raven?"
Lexa paused eating and nervously started fiddling with the napkin next to her plate with one hand. "I…" she cleared her throat, "too many questions at once."
Indra nodded understandingly. "Right, I'm sorry. Any news?"
Lexa took a moment to think about the question and her answer, before she nodded. "Um, I slept with Clarke."
After Anya almost choked on her water, one could hear a pin drop. Clarke had her eyes squeezed shut, and she wasn't planning on ever opening them again, while a crimson shade of red crept up her cheeks. Gustus was trying to hide his grin, eventually lowering his head, and Indra just stared at Lexa with wide eyes, blinking being her only movement for some incredibly long moments.
She was also the first to break the utterly uncomfortable silence. "I'll… go and get the dessert then."
Another long moment passed until Clarke felt a finger on her thigh, she knew that Lexa was poking her leg to get her attention.
With her eyes still tightly squeezed closed, she just shook her head.
"Clarke?" Lexa asked again, her voice dripping with anxiety. Gustus and Anya made a silent agreement that this would be a good timing to clear the table.
Clarke heard the girl next to her huff in frustration when she couldn't get Clarke to notice her. The blonde sucked in a deep breath, a very weak attempt at regaining composure, and opened her eyes.
In an instant, Lexa's poking finger was back on her thigh. "Clarke?"
"Yeah?" Clarke pressed out and slowly released the breath she'd been holding.
"Was that…" Lexa cleared her throat, "was that wrong?"
Clarke let out a small helpless laugh and scratched her forehead. "Well it was… no, I mean it was just…" she grimaced and shook her head, "yes, that was wrong. You don't… they're your family and they really shouldn't… Jeez Lexa, don't tell them stuff like that!"
By the end of Clarke's rambling, Lexa had already ripped half of the napkin into tiny pieces.
"But… I mean I like that it happened, and I…," when Lexa paused, Clarke turned her head, in time to see how some sort of realization hit the brunette, "didn't you… aren't you–" Lexa stopped and squeezed her eyes a few times and Clarke was quick enough to stop the girl from hitting her forehead with her palm.
"Hey no, Lexa–" she said and it took a lot of her strength to keep Lexa's hands in place in her lap, "Lexa, no. I am glad that it happened and it– can you please stop fighting for a moment?" She asked firmly because she needed her hands now. She waited for a moment, feeling how the girl slowly stopped fighting her grip until Lexa finally nodded, instantly reaching for her bracelet when Clarke carefully let go of her hands.
She gently brushed some stray her out of Lexa's face and rested her hands on the girl's cheeks, her thumbs softly wiping away some warm tears.
"Lexa," she said much quieter and softer, "I'm glad that it happened. It was beautiful. You were beautiful." She said and gave Lexa a moment to calm down herself, while images of their night together flashed through Clarke's mind, and the blonde's lips formed a soft smile.
She remembered how, after their talk, she had led Lexa into a sitting position and slowly pulled the shirt over her head. She remembered how she had gently pushed Lexa back onto the bed. She remembered how she had taken all the time in the world to kiss and caress Lexa's skin, every inch she could reach.
She remembered everything. The soft and quiet sounds Lexa had made, the silent instructions through her body language that she probably wasn't aware of, how she had pulled Clarke closer when something was beginning to overwhelm her, or how she had let go of her when she was feeling comfortable and safe again.
Clarke remembered the look on Lexa's face when the brunette had arched her back off the bed and become completely silent for a moment, and she remembered how, after a long moment, she had slowly opened her eyes and sleepily smiled up at Clarke, her cheeks flush, a few stray hair stuck to her skin, her eyes soft. And Clarke remembered how, in that moment, she had realized that she wouldn't be able to be in love with anyone ever again, because Lexa was The One for her.
"Everything about it was perfect, I don't regret it and I am not ashamed of it, I could never be." She softly kissed her girl's lips and continued, "it's just a very intimate and private thing, and your family really, really doesn't need to know about it." Clarke finished and laughed, still slightly embarrassed.
Lexa took a moment to think about Clarke's words, her eyes still focused on her hands that were still twiddling with her bracelet. After what felt like an eternity, she nodded. "Okay…" she said before she quickly added, "I'm sorry."
Clarke's features softened immediately and, with her hands that were still resting on Lexa's cheeks, she pulled the girl closer and into a soft, reassuring kiss that lasted for a long, peaceful moment. She pulled away and rested her forehead against Lexa's and opened her eyes to look at their now intertwined hands in Lexa's lap. "I love you." She whispered softly.
They separated just in time for the others to enter the living room again. Maybe it was a perfect timing because Anya had kept watch to make sure the girls sorted everything out before Lexa's family came back. But only maybe. Anya glanced to Lexa and then at Clarke, nodding back in relief after the blonde nodded at her, silently reassuring Anya that everything was okay.
Indra seemed to have calmed down as well, while Gustus was still trying to hide his small smirk. While the others sat down at the table again, Clarke took Lexa's other hand and intertwined their fingers, her thumb gently brushing over soft skin. She quickly leaned forward and nudged the tip of Lexa's nose with her own, before she left a soft kiss on her girl's lips. They quickly jumped apart with a grin when Gustus, still smiling, cleared his throat and grabbed the scoop. "Dessert?"
The End
Note: Thank you so much for reading my story, it means a lot to me! :) I won't continue uploading stories here, because I have now moved to Archive Of Our Own. You can find me there under NightHeda :)
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