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Chapter 35

Imprisoned By My Own Choice

Though I am "Novus" to those who know me, it was not the name I was born with.

No, my true name, bestowed upon me by my father, was much more prestigious and eloquent. For a time, I wore it proudly. I deeply cherished it. And unto this day, I still treasure it. But there came a time when I found I could not stand to answer to that name anymore.

Ever since my first encounter with those wretched abominations known as the Plagued Ones, I discarded the name in favor of a new one: Novus. As much as I detest having to wear this false name as a Cubone might hide behind an ivory mask, I know that I must, for I no longer wish be known by my true name. I feel I am no longer worthy to hold my true name anymore.

Now, I am Novus, meaning "new" in an ancient human language. I feel this name carries, in part, the same weight of my true name, for there are so very few Pokémon with names that are blatantly of human origins, just as my true name is so rarely worn by anyone. Such an example would be Éclair from what was the Aurora Town Fellowship. Her name is "flash of light", but I hardly believe that anyone other than myself and perhaps even Éclair herself know that. After all, Ninetales are such intelligent creatures. When they are given a name, they no doubt understand the purpose behind such a name.

As for me, there is a reason I am able to recognize names of human origin here in this world of Pokémon, when there are not many others who can. That is a topic for another day, perhaps.

It has been a week since the Flygon Fellowship leader took myself, the human, and Zekra away from Aurora Town. We have been staying on an island that is about an hour's time of flight away from the west coast of Shiron. The name of such island is Shirra, and it is a reasonably large island. Shellshore Village is the name of the settlement in which we now dwell.

This place has become home for the three of us. This place, this tiny rock, surrounded by miles of Kyogre's great seas, sealed away in blissful ignorance from the Fellowships and the war against the foul Plagued Ones. This tiny mound of Groudon's creation is all that remains for us to call home.

We are being cared for by a Sylveon and Glaceon, who already have an Eevee as their only child. They treat us with such love and tenderness, as though we actually were their own children and simply not castaways. At least, for the human and Zekra, they treat as such. They extend their care to me as well, but not without a heavy measure of awkwardness; they can see I am an adult, capable of caring for myself. Though they treat me among their litter of children, serving me four meals a day and assigning my share of household chores, they hesitate to ask me why I am here. I know that they don't wish to show me such thoughts and do everything they can to hide it beneath their guise of nurturing kindness, but I know it to be true. I see it whenever I stare into their eyes.

I can see so much about anyone just by gazing into their eyes. They're the windows to the soul. If there is ever a time you want to understand someone, and you cannot find a way to open their heart, simply look into those windows for a brief moment, and you will see their true selves shine before you for just a glimmer of a second. It's through this simple way that I am able to see the hidden pain and thoughts of all those around me.

It is how I can see the pain of my two companions. Here, I sit in the sand near the shore, watching the human and Zekra speak to one another in the distance. I can understand most of their conversation from where I am, but I choose not to eavesdrop. Instead, I simply observe them.

Compared to the Pokémon they were when I first joined Team Vendetta, they have changed. For one, they have changed in outwardly appearance. Previously, I would have found it difficult to imagine Zekra without the Deception Amulet attached to her neck at all times, but the Glaceon stripped it from her on the day we arrived. It would, of course, have made it possible for her to leave this island prison of ours, perhaps even to take the rest of us with her as well, if she could harness a strong illusion of a powerful swimming or flying Pokémon. Thus, she couldn't have been allowed to keep it, if we are to carry out our punishment in full. Though she tries to hide her feelings, I can see, through her eyes, that a piece of her soul has been taken away when she lost the amulet.

To be honest, it puzzles me as to why the Fellowship leaders chose to turn a blind eye to the amulet in the first place. I wondered why they let her keep it; perhaps they were not aware of its power? Whatever the case, she has parted with it now, and its location is unknown at current.

Then the human… he was given a coat by the Flygon Fellowship leader when he took us here. A button-up coat that reaches to his abdomen and is of the color of pine trees, that is. The Flygon called it a "parting present", though I can't understand why he chose to only give a gift to the human. Perhaps something happened between the two of them. Either way, it matters not to me. It's simply just an odd sight to see the human wearing a coat that heavily resembles that of a human coat, albeit, having far more pockets than a human coat usually does. I fully believe that the human realizes the irony as well, but he does not seem to care, for it keeps him warm and it gives him space to carry his bones. He always carries a large variety of bones, crafted to fit many uses, as if he is anticipating a battle to come upon him at any given moment. He must find the coat to be so useful.

I must admit, I am not one to look favorably upon the use of these magical accessories or equipment to augment one's strength. When I see Zekra rely on her amulet, or even when I see the human fighting with his bones, I feel a small spark of resentment. I wish to ask them, what if that amulet were taken away, as it is now? Or what if the bones were snatched from your grasp, and the helmet upon your head shattered and useless? What then? I fear my companions would be powerless, having conditioned themselves to rely only upon their weapons as a cripple would lean on a crutch. This is why I will never don weapons, armor, or any magical item which might allow me to pretend I am stronger than I truly am. For Pokémon are born with as much power as they will ever need, locked within their very souls. Just as I hold Reshiram's flame within myself and have spent my life nurturing it, the human has the soul of Groudon within himself, and must learn to draw upon his power. Zekra, too, has just as much illusionary power within herself as the crystal upon that necklace, but now that she has tasted its power, will she ever wish to train and fight to unlock the power on her own? Or will she continue to rely on the amulet in battle, letting it strangle her, until a clever foe will inevitably see that it is the source of her power – her weak point?

Ah, but this is merely my own philosophy, and nothing more. I hold no presumption to make them see the world with my own eyes, or at the very least, not all at one time.

The other way those children have changed since I became a part of Team Vendetta... regards the state of their emotional well-being. The human, much to my surprise, has left the abyss that once swallowed him whole and is now behaving more like his true, valiant self. Most of his vigor has returned to him. I know not what happened to him so that he might have recovered from such a horrifying experience so quickly, but it brings me some joy to see that he has. Yet, he still holds such pain in his heart. He can attempt to hide it behind his persona all he wants, but I can see it. He cannot hide the windows of the soul behind his mask, despite how much he undoubtedly wishes he could.

And yet, all of pain he harbors is nothing compared to the torment I see within Zekra. I do not have to be so closely bonded to her to see that she is drowning in her inner darkness. Her spirit is simply gone, and all I see of her is nothing but an empty shell. I will sometimes see a quick flicker of her soul in her eyes when anyone speaks to her, but otherwise, her spirit remains trapped in the deep blackness of a chasm. The human attempts to pull her out of such place every day now by showing her such tenderness and affection, and though it does help, I can see that she will not leave her dark place for a while. She will be trapped there and will not leave so easily.

Perhaps the true reason the human is in pain… is because he feels Zekra's pain. Perhaps he knows that she will not be able to leave her abyss for quite a while… and grieves at the thought. Perhaps that's the only reason he is still in pain.

The poor, unfortunate children. It brings me such melancholy to know that they have been reduced to this. I too feel such horrible pain, but… it's not the pain Zekra and the human share.

No, the suffering in my own heart comes from a conflict I find myself in. For you see, as fond as I am of these two children… I find myself longing to leave them and rejoin the Fellowship. I want to rejoin so I can once again continue to fight, just as I've wanted to for the longest time.

Since the very day I learned of the existence of those putrid creatures that pollute Shiron like a foul disease, I have always sought a way to put an end to them. Yet, I knew I could never do it alone. I had to find allies. Eventually, I did discover allies years after my encounter with the Blight Demons, which was of course, the Fellowship. The original Fellowship long before it split into five factions, that is. But, I could not join them, for they had created a law that their members could not join by themselves. The Fellowship required that you have at least one companion with you, which is understandable; having at least one companion with you was no doubt made a rule to allow for your protection and sanity. Though, this does not explain why the Dusk Mines Leader seems to be the sole leader of his Fellowship, rather than having a team like the Aurora Town Fellowship. Perhaps the Fellowship made an exception for him. Or perhaps he had companions when he became a leader, but they were turned into abominations by Erebus. Either way, the Fellowship strictly would not let me join, unless I had a companion. I had none, so I was not allowed to join.

So I wandered for a time, until I found Aurora Town and learned of the training gym that was seeking a fire-type trainer. I became such trainer, for I decided that if I could not fight the blight demons with the Fellowship, the very least I could do was teach others how to improve their battle tactics so that should the vile creatures strike, they might better defend themselves. I stayed there for many years, and then one day, a fraction of the Fellowship's followers came to Aurora Town and constructed their base into the massive trees of the city. It was a very happy day to see the Fellowship a short walk's distance away from where I stayed, but I still knew that I could not join. For one, I did not wish to abandon my duty as a fire trainer. I felt somewhat obligated to carry out this new task brought about me, as if it was my new purpose in life, and I knew I would feel somewhat guilty if I left my position in favor of joining the Fellowship. Then also, I knew I still could not join the Fellowship, for I still worked alone. I knew I could have asked a Fellowship team to let me become one of their members, but I was much too proud, and refused to resort to such option. As much as I wished to join, I simply would not ask. That was considered too much for me at the time.

I eventually grew out of that when I was dismissed from my trainer position and saw that I was once again without much purpose. But, I did not feel hollow, for I had met the human and Zekra, and later their companions, and learned that they were Fellowship members. And so, because I was already acquainted with them and knew full well that they needed someone with guidance such as myself, I saw my opportunity. I asked to be on their team, despite how much that went against my nature. They allowed such, which was somewhat as I predicted.

Of course, I was only a member for one day, or two days if you count the day after the Aurora Town Fellowship was severely gutted of many of its members. Either way, I was only a member for a short time before the human and Zekra were stripped of their status as members and I was quick to follow. I know I had a choice in the matter. I know that I chose to leave the Fellowship when I could have easily left behind the children and join a more competent team. I remember the offer was so tempting.

And yet, I did not have the heart to abandon the children. I simply could not. I could not when I was forced into a promise by Impetus . I could not when I've grown far too attached to these children.

And now I am now imprisoned here on this island with those children, my heart filled with turmoil about what I must do. I am imprisoned by my own choice, but I find that I question my choice so very much.

I know I can leave this island right now, if I truly wish to. I know that the Sylveon and Glaceon will allow me to leave if I asked. They would not mind, for I am of the age where I am quite free to make my own choices in life. Yes, more than they or anyone could ever imagine. I could depart from the children, and then I would simply need to find a team that would accept me and rejoin the Fellowship that way. Somehow. I suppose I might have to humble myself and ask to be put on a pre-existing Fellowship team. But it would matter not, so long as I could rejoin the organization I've yearned to be a part of for so long .

Oh how much do I wish I could easily make the choice to leave this island and go to where I truly belong. It would bring me such joy to be there and to fight the wretched demons . But alas, I cannot. My heart is bound to these children, who I have only known for less than a season. Perhaps it is pointless to care about children I have known for such a minuscule amount of time, especially when I never took it upon myself to open my heart to them. But my promise was solemn, and my heart was set…

I cannot decide what I must do. My accursed heart is torn by this and wreaks havoc upon my mind every moment of the day. Why?! Why can't I make such a simple choice?! It was never like this before! Before I met those disgusting, diseased ghosts, I could make a decision so easily. Everything was so clear to me. I will admit that I was flawed in my ways at the time, but whenever I made a decision, I felt it was right and never questioned it. I was always satisfied with the choices I made.

And then, I became what I am now, and that has changed. Is that what is causing me to feel this conflict? Does being what I am now make me want to question everything I do?

No, no it's not. Even when I became what I am now, so many years ago, I never questioned my decisions. I never questioned my choices. Becoming this is not the reason.

Perhaps the true reason is because I never had a reason to feel such pity for someone. Perhaps nothing truly tragic happened to anyone I cared about, forcing a tempest of conflict to rage in my heart. But, I suppose it doesn't matter what the reason is. I am conflicted. Such a simple fact is all that matters.

I find I can no longer stay where I am. I do not wish to watch the children from afar as if I were a mysterious protector of sorts. I need to be alone for just a moment.

I get up and shake myself to free my fur of the sand that has clung to me. I wander away from the human and Zekra and return to the house that is called our home now. No one is within the shelter at the moment, no doubt because the entire family has gone out to do an errand. But, I do not mind this. Even if they were home right now, I still wouldn't mind. I simply want to come here to retrieve something.

I eventually find what I seek in the room the human, Zekra, and I share; my Reshiram sculpture. It, along with any sort of funds we had and the human's bone collection, were the only possessions we could bring with us to this island once we were dismissed from the Fellowship. The Luxray Fellowship leader stripped us of all our items we used for missions, as well as our map and bag. Despite how the human and Zekra detested to such an action, I understood the Luxray's reasoning completely and did not bother to retort. I trust the Fellowship with all of their decisions. I understand their reasoning. And yet, I do find myself questioning whether dismissing the children was a good choice. I understand the Luxray leader dismissed them under the best of intentions, but they're both so miserable now because of a well-intended choice…

Can it really be called a choice made for the sake of their well-being when their hearts have become so broken by that choice?

I carefully grab the replica of the great being in my mouth and leave the house. I travel far away from any Pokémon I see and go to the most secluded area I can find; a cliff overlooking the ocean high above the village that I now live in. No one ever visits here, for whatever reason I cannot think of. I personally find it to be a wonderful location to visit whenever anyone is ever in need of quiet and peace. The only possible noise are the waves below you that crash into the side of the cliff every so often, but even then, it's not much of a problem. Well, whatever the reason, it matters not I suppose.

I set my statue at the edge of the cliff and take a seat before it. And then, I do nothing but stare at it as I try to let my tormented mind become free of the horrid thoughts that plague it.

Plague.

Plague. That's what those horrid creatures do; they plague you. When the children told me that those creatures are nothing but normal Pokémon somehow twisted into such a vile creation, I was not surprised. I already knew the truth. It was such an obvious fact, that I'm surprised no one else realized it. I did not know that there was a single entity that was morphing Pokémon into the creatures, but I knew that the ones called Plagued Ones were, in fact, Pokémon.

But, I will admit one thing did surprise me; that the entirety of the Dusk Mines Fellowship and the children are the creatures. Or, to better put it, they will be in time. The Sableye leader is nearly gone. The human is already getting the migraines that seem to correlate with becoming a Blight Demon. Syn will no doubt be one within a few days, thanks to being captured by the creatures. Then Impetus and Zekra I am unsure, along with that Turtwig who was with the Dusk Mines leader. I did not expect to believe that there was a process of becoming a Blight Demon. I did not think there were phases; I had imagined it was an instantaneous transformation. But, I did not show my surprise when I learned the truth, because I would no doubt startle the children and make them wary of me. No, that was the last thing I wanted at the time.

Still, this deeply concerns me, now that I have had more time to ponder. Do I even want to stay with these children anymore, when they will become the creatures that make my inner fire churn with wrath just at the mere thought of them? I will say it very clearly; I despise the creatures that polluted my home. I loathe them with every fiber of my being. The only reason I have not decided to put an end to the human and Zekra at this very moment is because they have not shown signs of becoming blight demons yet… mostly. Yet, if the two of them begin to start showing any signs of finally submitting to Erebus…

I know I will kill them and I will not hesitate. It will be incredibly easy to do, for they will not expect it.

Do I want to stay with these children, when I know I will commit that act, even if I don't want to? Would leaving them be a better choice, for both their own sake and my own? They would be safe from me and I would be happy with doing what I wish to do more than anything.

But if I leave them, their hearts will be consumed with even more despair and I sincerely do not wish for that.

Why… why must it be so difficult to choose?

I rest my chin on the ground and stare deeply into the Reshiram's serene, all-knowing eyes. It seems this conflict will always be on my mind, no matter how hard I try to stay away from it. So I gaze at Reshiram and silently wish he was here in all of his glory.

It is at times like these where I wish the great beings still assisted mortals just as they did in the ancient past. Had there been a problem on a scale as large as the one we find ourselves in with the blight demons, the ones known as "legendaries" would come down from their hidden territories and put an end to the chaos. That's the role of the great beings; to protect the mortals. But then, they disappeared one day, and simply never came back. They went to the realm of Arceus. Every single one of them left this mortal world or simply stopped meddling with it. The Ethereal Beings such as Dialga and Palkia ceased to watch over the world from their own dimensions. The Great Beings such as Xerneas and Groudon ceased to dwell within the world. The "Mortal" legendaries such as Cresselia and Shaymin immediately ceased to aid those around them and also left, never to be seen again. All of them left.

Almost. There are two who never left.

Reshiram and Zekrom are those beings. The two Great Dragons never left when the other great beings did. They stayed when they were told to leave, because they refused to abandon the world they vowed to protect with all of their heart and soul. And, they did protect the world for so long despite being told otherwise. They valiantly stayed true to their dedications. That is, until one day, they both fell into a deep slumber and disappeared as well. Except, they did not leave the mortal realm as the other great beings did. No, these two Great Beings became stones that became hidden somewhere within the land. They are still among the mortals, but they are in a comatose state. They are sleeping in places where no ordinary creature can find them.

And since that moment centuries ago, the world is truly without great beings.

For now. It has always been my intent to find the dragons' bodies and restore them to their true, divine forms, for I know that they could stop this ongoing war with the Blight Demons. They would find a way to terminate the filthy creatures' existence with their celestial powers. Even if I could just find one of them, I am so certain this war would end. And yet, I have had no luck. That was the true reason why I wished to find allies; so that such allies could help me find Reshiram and Zekrom's bodies. I know that searching for them on my own is not a feat I can manage. I had intended to reveal this plan to the children of my team and ask for their help in searching for the dragons after working with them for a month or so, but obviously, that did not happen.

But… perhaps I still could ask for their help. Perhaps they could still help me, even after we have been dismissed from the Fellowship. Maybe… I really don't need to rejoin the Fellowship just to accomplish this. After all, the only true thing I seek right now is to find the great dragons' bodies so I may end the Plagued Ones. I do not need to rejoin a Fellowship if I wish to accomplish that. I can simply ask those that already trust me to go about this mission.

My allies… they have been right beside me this whole time. My allies do not need to be such a large organization. I can simply have help from those two children.

Those two plagued children…

I mustn't abandon them. Even if they have the potential to become the very creatures I seek to destroy, they are also my allies at the moment. I cannot leave them when the very help I have sought for so long is finally at my side. I cannot kill them, no matter how much the fire in my heart demands I do. They need me… and I need them. That's all there is to understand. It's that simple.

I look upon the Reshiram and I smile as the tempest in my heart finally ceases. My thoughts feel clear once more. I place a paw upon the head of the great dragon.

I will find your body. I will restore you to your true glory soon and allow you to end the suffering those demons bring.

After staying with Reshiram for a couple more hours of peace, I return the sculpture to the house and go back to the spot where I last saw the human and Zekra. Surprisingly, they are still in the very same spot as they were when I last saw them. The two of them appear to be somewhat happier than before, but there is still a melancholy glow in their eyes. But, I know there is not much I can do to rid the sadness from their hearts. I was never one who had a talent for comforting others, and even if I was, there's nothing to be said. Their pain must be given time to heal. That's the only true way to heal the agonizing wounds that come with heartbreak; to let time pass.

I am just about to go to the spot that I was resting in earlier, when I see the human pat Zekra on the head and leave her be. He walks away from her… and then begins to come towards me. I stop and watch him approach me with what I can assume is a smile on his face. It is rather difficult to tell with his persona that is always latched to his head.

"Hey, Novus," the human tells me, his voice containing more energy than I anticipated due to the depression that still shines in his eyes. "How's it going?"

I know what he is doing now; he is trying to comfort me. He is attempting to do what he is trying to do with Zekra a moment ago. He approaches me like this quite often, perhaps once every few days. I know he would no doubt speak to me more, but he knows Zekra needs more of his attention than I do. Which, he's right in that. I suppose I sometimes forgot that I needed a bit of his attention as well. Though I never showed it… I did appreciate it. I appreciated him caring for me when I was in such distress, even if he could not help me since he was inadvertently the problem.

I give the human and a small, pleasant smile.

"Everything is well," I tell him. "Everything is quite well. And, I truly do mean that. I am not saying such because I am attempting to hide my pain from you. I truly do mean that I feel well now. I feel at peace, much unlike how I have been since the day we were dismissed from the Fellowship."

"Really?" the human asks me with a gaze that reflects his joyful surprise so clearly.

I want to tell the human that everything that has troubled me no longer does at this moment. I want to tell him, to ease my thoughts, and also, because he deserves to know. We are still a team, after all. And teammates… they speak their minds to each other.

I spend the next few minutes telling the human of the torment that plagued my mind for days. I tell him of how I wished to leave him and Zekra. I tell him of what I intended to do once I left. I tell him of what I truly thought of him turning into a Plagued One any day now. I tell him that no matter how much I wished to leave, my heart ached at the thought of leaving him and Zekra. And then finally, I tell him of my choice that I have made, and how I am finally free of the conflict that has put me in such distress for these past few days.

When I finally finish, I feel a great darkness has finally left my heart and I feel the calm within my spirit amplify.

"So that's what's been bothering you this whole time…" the human tells me quietly. "I thought it was just that you were depressed about getting kicked out and losing Impetus and Syn. But… it was Zekra and I that were causing you so much grief…"

I nod in silence and solemnity. The human's troubled expression melts away as a more pleasant one overcomes him.

"But, I'm glad you told me that, at least," he tells me. "I really am. And, I'm glad that you're no longer tormented by that and want to stay with us. Heh, what would Zekra and I do without our no-nonsense Quilava anyway?"

He starts to chuckle as a thought strikes him.

"Well actually, things might be a lot more fun without you, now that I think about it," he then tells me. "I have a feeling that you're going to keep us so down to earth once I get Zekra back to normal. You might not let us have any kind of fun. You never really seemed to do anything fun for as long as we've known you. Heheh."

I see you have a sense of humor again, human. Truly, your pain is leaving you. Your own soul seems to be brightening now as the darkness within you disappears.

"Yes, I will admit that," I tell him, finding that I am also smiling. "Someone has to give you children guidance."

"Well, Zekra and I are going to fix that," the human tells me with a sly grin. "Just you wait, Novus. Soon, you'll be able to make jokes just like us. It'll happen, now that you're choosing to stay with us. I know you don't want that to happen, but it will. And it'll be good for you."

I find I cannot resist a quiet laugh.

"Yes, but the opposite also holds true," I then tell him. "You and Zekra will become more like myself. I do not need to further explain what will happen due to that."

The human only continues to laugh.

"Well then, I guess we'll all just have to learn to accept that we're going to be something we don't want to be," he tells me.

He and I laugh at the remark until a more pleasant, less joking smile comes upon him.

"But really, thank you, Novus," he tells me. "Thank you for choosing to stay with us. Thank you for telling me everything that's been on your mind. Now, I have one less friend who's in pain and I'm really happy for that."

I would like to say I have told him everything, but I know that is a lie. I did not tell him of how I wish to find Reshiram and Zekrom, for I know now is not the proper time. I need to wait before I tell him and Zekra. They are not ready just yet, for they are ill-prepared physically and emotionally. But, I have confidence that the day I speak of my plan will be soon.

Time will tell me when I will speak this plan to the human and Zekra. Until then, all I can do is wait.

I put on a smile as I gaze into the human's soul windows, pretending that I have hidden nothing. In a way, I am wearing the same kind of persona he is, to cover up the true depths of my feelings. But I smile earnestly and accept his thanks.

And then the human's smile suddenly starts to fade and his eyes seem to lose their light.

"Hey Novus, I was wondering if you could help me with something," he says, his voice lowering as melancholy starts to fill him.

"Yes, what is it?" I ask, intrigued by his sudden change in mood.

The human seems to struggle with a demon within him that isn't a Plagued One. As much as it pains me to see him like this however, I do not intervene. I simply wait.

I am "rewarded" for my patience a moment later.

"I need you to help me find out about the Instinct Infestation Zekra has. I think… there's more to it than we've been let on."