Here is another hectic day from our beloved Kinney-Taylor family :)
The first week with Ruby home was hard, but we adapted to her schedule.
She didn't cry much, but when she did, I was sure Keith and Leo could hear her from their house.
On such a morning, when she was particularly fussy and Patrick was being his usual misbehaving self, feeding the dog cereal. Needless to say, the poor animal barfed in the middle of the kitchen, and I stepped into that thing, barefoot, might I add. I was in a hurry to heat Ruby's bottle, while trying to soothe her from her colic.
"Patrick!"
He shot me an innocent look, wolfing down the last of his cereal.
In between my running up the stairs to finish getting dressed, selecting clothes for Munchkin and convincing him to wear the blue shirt because his favorite red one was to be washed at the end of the week, tending to the dog, and feeding Ruby, I was about to lose my mind. While the chaos was spiraling out of control, Justin rushed down the stairs, one hand in his jacket and butting up his jeans.
I was surprised to see him already dressed and ready to go. Last I saw him, he was fast asleep.
He kissed me quickly, narrowly missing my mouth, before stealing my coffee and taking a few gulps, ruffling Munchkin's hair, and pinching Ruby's cheek.
"Later," he said, turning to head to the door.
"Whoa! Hold on. Where are you going?" I grabbed his elbow, rearranging Peanut in my right arm.
"I got a call from my client. I have to meet with him in less than one hour. Can I take the Corvette?"
I blinked. "What about Peanut? We had to take her for the check-up. Don't leave me alone with that little demon!" I pointed to Munchkin, who scowled at me.
"You'll be fine. I'm so sorry to miss the appointment. I'll try to get there, but no promises. This is the big commission I told you about." He winked, wrapping his fingers around the door handle, but quickly snatching it back. He shuddered, shaking his hand, wearing the most disgusted look I'd seen at him. "Patrick, for fuck's sake! Why is the door handle sticky?"
I tried not to laugh, while Justin rushed to the kitchen to wash his hands.
We were both boys and had done our fair share of crazy things as kids, but Patrick being a combination of us was a little demon.
"It wasn't me," he called out. These were his new favorite words.
Justin rolled his eyes, drying his hands on the dishtowel. "You better behave or I won't make you that dessert you've been whining about."
"I'm extra good, Dada," Munchkin declared.
"Yeah right," Justin mumbled, coming to my side and kissing me softly. "Keep your fingers crossed for me."
"Will do." I pressed my lips to his forehead. "Go, be awesome!"
"Love you." He grabbed the Corvette's keys, dashing in the garage's direction, avoiding the front door's knob.
I returned to the kitchen, Patrick was finally done eating.
"Now go wash up and get dressed. We're leaving in one hour."
"There's time."
"No, there's not. You take longer than me to decide what to wear, which is downright suspicious. Besides, we settled on the blue shirt, right?"
He scowled. "Maybe you did," he mumbled, trudging up the stairs.
I resisted the urge to bang my head against the wall. It wouldn't be of any help.
I focused on finishing feeding Ruby, burping her, then getting her dressed. Once I had her in the pouch, I went to check on the demon child.
It shouldn't have come as a surprise when I found him sitting cross-legged in front of his closet, head in his palms, deep in thought.
I looked toward the ceiling, seeking divine intervention to give me strength to deal with him.
I cleared my throat. "Remember Justin's rule? If you take longer than five minutes, we get to decide. I still vote for the blue shirt."
"NO!" He scrambled to his feet, standing with his back at the closet, arms outstretched, as if protecting it from me.
"Munchkin, don't be difficult." I was running on less than four hours of sleep, and if back in the day it would have been enough for me to function, these days it wasn't nearly enough.
"But I want to choose, Daddy!"
"Then pick something already! We're going to be late to your sister's appointment."
He returned to staring into his closet, selecting a few clothes and spreading them out on the bed.
I placed Ruby on the bed, shuffling closer to Patrick. "Just so you know, red and pink don't go well together."
"I need my brown pants."
"Justin washed them yesterday. Remember your tantrum about ice cream and then stomping your foot in that puddle of mud? It happened only a couple of days ago," I scolded him. "So, keep the red pants and pick another shirt."
"I want the pink one."
Some days, I really wanted to strangle him.
"Then, you should wear your jeans. Look, Munchkin, we're not going on the catwalk. It's just the doctor's."
He gave me a horrified look, like I'd insulted him.
Why, oh why, must he be so much like me?
"Let's put on a pair of jeans, your beloved pink shirt, and the red sneakers, so we can get a move!" I finished my speech on raised voice. "If you're not downstairs in five minutes, I'm leaving without you!"
"You wouldn't!"
"Don't test me, Munchkin."
"I hate you!" He threw himself on the floor, bursting in tears.
Fuck.
A drama princess moment was all I needed.
I knelt at his side, reaching to console him.
He rolled away from me, crying louder, and kicking his legs. "I'm not talking to you," he said between sobs.
"Fine. Be a brat. While you're not talking to me, could you get dressed?"
Patrick raised his head to stare at me in disbelief, big tears rolling down his cheeks.
It was a shock for him to not be coddled while crying, but that was only Justin's fault for kissing his ass when he was supposed to be punished.
I tapped his butt, getting up. "Come on. Get dressed, Munchkin."
Between sobs and hateful looks, he tugged his clothes on him. I blew his nose, washed his face, then we were finally ready to go.
In the car, he continued to sob silently, spare a few hiccups, which distressed Ruby making her start whimpering.
I glanced at them in the rearview mirror. Patrick caught my eye, scowling.
We were a few minutes away from the clinic when some idiot slid in front of me without signaling. I pressed the brakes fast and hard, making the wheels squeal.
The sudden movement jerked the kids. Patrick forgot about being mad at me, when he shouted my name in fear, and Ruby burst into tears.
"Sorry, buddy." I reached back to pat his leg. "You okay?" Fucking asshole! Motherfucker! If I didn't have the kids in the back, I'd be spewing all the curses possible out the window at the fucking idiot.
"I guess," he said in a shaky voice.
Ruby was wailing by now, since no one was there to pick her up and soother her.
"Patrick," I shouted over her cries.
Her brother had his hands over his ears. Thankfully, he heard me, because his eyes met mine. "Make her shut up!"
I snorted in amusement. "She's next to you. Could you dig in her bag for the pacifier? Put in her mouth. Gently," I instructed, keeping my eyes on the road, but also on the rearview mirror.
Skeptically, he followed my instructions. It worked.
Patrick beamed, clapping. "I'm an awesome big brother!"
"Yes, you are. Thanks, kiddo."
At the clinic, Patrick insisted on pushing the stroller, looking all important.
Inside Dr. Hump's office, I took him away from the stroller, picking up Ruby.
"You're late." It was the first thing he told me, making me grit my teeth. "I thought you forgot."
"We had a little incident. Patrick takes after me in more ways than I want to admit."
Dr. Hump laughed, gesturing to the bed, where he'd give Ruby the check-up. "How's our young lady?"
"She's okay." I shrugged.
"As long as she doesn't wail," Patrick mumbled.
Owen smiled, taking Ruby from me. "Have you noticed anything odd? Now that you have experience, you could identify if there was a problem."
"Nothing so far. She seems okay."
While he did his job, I looked around for Munchkin. It was suspiciously quiet. "Patrick, no!" I snapped, rushing to stop him from opening a glass cabinet.
"Is someone naughty?" Dr. Hump joked.
"Naughty is to put it mildly." I sat Patrick in the chair in front of the desk, shaking my finger at him, before returning to Peanut. I kept glancing at Munchkin just to make sure he was behaving.
He sat still for less than five minutes, then started looking through the stuff Owen had on his desk. He discovered a box of candies, and I stared at him, curious of what he'd do. When he made to grab one, I exploded.
"Patrick, for fuck's sake! That's not yours."
He shot me a surprised look, not knowing I'd been watching him, as he snatched his hand back.
"You can have one," Dr. Hump told him gently.
Patrick didn't wait to be told twice, immediately grabbing one candy, unwrapping it, and popping into his mouth, chewing loudly.
"What do you say now?" I demanded.
"Yucky!" He gagged, spitting the candy. Thankfully, it landed in the trash.
I'd never been so embarrassed by someone else. "Sorry," I mumbled to Dr. Hump. "I can't believe he did that."
"Don't worry. I should have expected him not to like it. These candies are a little spicy."
"Oh. Still, he knows better than to act like that."
Dr. Hump patted my arm. "He's just a kid. I bet you did plenty of things to embarrass your parents too, and they didn't mind."
I bit my tongue, cringing. Yeah, they didn't do anything in public, but once we got home, I'd be put in my place for embarrassing them.
In that second, I decided not to punish Patrick for what he just did. Dr. Hump was right. He was just a kid.
I was busy bundling Ruby, not keeping track of Patrick, so when I heard him talking, humiliation touched a new level in my book.
"Do you want to see my penis?"
I turned in time to catch the startled look on Dr. Hump's face. I could only imagine what perversities he thought we were doing behind closed doors.
"No one wants to see your willy, Munchkin. We talked about this," I hissed.
"But he's my new best friend!"
I threw Owen an apologetic look. "Patrick, Sean is best friend. Kira is your best friend. Not your fu.. godda… dick… Gah! Not your penis!"
His eyes lit up at the new word.
God give me strength if he started praising his dick in front of the whole diner, which was our next stop. I was seriously thinking of gagging him.
oOo
I arrived at the diner on the busiest shift.
I still got curious looks from my peers, but I'd learned to ignore them. Most of them kept their distance, but there were some mindless idiots who thought they stood a chance.
A sorry specimen like that approached our table. I was busy with going through Ruby's bag in search of her milk and bottle to give Debbie to heat, so I didn't notice him hovering.
In between my quest for her food, I came up with her favorite toy, the penguin from Patrick, and put it on her chest, in hopes to keep her from bursting in tears. She wasn't a fan of loud noises, and the diner was pretty noisy.
When I straightened up, I saw a guy at our table, his eyes undressing me. So he wasn't the new help Debbie bragged about. His eye-fucking made me sick, for unknown reasons.
Patrick narrowed his eyes at him. "Do you need something?"
"Here." The guy pushed a napkin my way. It had his number and name on it. "Call me." He winked.
I was about to lash out at him for having the audacity to hit on me in front of my kids, but Peanut distracted me by kicking her toy. It landed on the table, knocking the salt and pepper shakers. "Shit, Peanut." I hurried to clean the mess. I knew she was hungry since I missed her scheduled meal, caught in traffic. "We'll feed you in a minute." I pinched her toes, leaning to kiss her head.
The idiot hadn't left. I could feel his presence, so I turned to glare. "As you can see, I'm quite busy. So scamper off."
He rolled his eyes. "When you're done playing house with your blond boy, give me a call."
"Does it look to you like I'm playing? It's true, neither Munchkin, nor Peanut, were planned, but I wouldn't trade them, or Justin, for that matter, for all the hot guys in the world! You included! Fuck off!"
"You're a troll!" Munchkin declared loudly, jutting his chin out. "Now stop bothering Daddy!" He threw me a huge smile, which I returned. That's my kid. Even at five years old, he had balls.
"And why the fuck would I listen to a midget? We all had our doubts about your blondie. He went and banged some chick—twice, or more…resulting in these things."
If I wasn't holding Ruby, I could risk many years of prison for murder.
He didn't just insult Justin and I, he had the nerve to verbally attack my kids.
I'd never been closer to shouting for everyone to hear I had the kids, I was the one who carried them for nine, respectively almost seven months.
Munchkin slid out of the booth and kicked the idiot in both his shins with all his might. "Don't insult my daddies! Now get lost! You made my baby sis cry!"
Our little scene caught everyone's attention. To my surprise, most of the diners sided with me, shoving the asshole out the door, before coming closer. They offered to help with Ruby, asking if I was okay, and of course, congratulating Munchkin on his act of heroism.
I was still in shock over what he'd done. We never allowed violence, but he'd heard Justin and I fight plenty of times, added with the cartoons he was watching, it helped his overactive brain in kicking that guy.
Debbie pushed everyone out of the way, engulfing both Peanut and me in a huge hug, then she moved on to Patrick, stroking his hair. Next she helped me with the bottle, while everyone scattered, but kept glancing our way every now and then.
I denied Debbie the pleasure to feed Peanut. She only accepted the bottle from me. Dr. Hump had explained that she felt closer and safer with me, since she knew me better. He was right, because I knew Kira was the same way with Keith. I also remembered we had to visit them, since the twins had arrived only a couple weeks ago, and they needed all the help they could get.
After feeding Peanut, I ordered for myself since Munchkin was almost done with his meal. While waiting for the food to arrive, I 'tsked' under my breath, keeping my eyes on him.
He grinned widely.
"As proud as I am of you, you shouldn't have talked like that or kicked that man," I said.
"He was mean to you."
"I know, Munchkin. What does dada say all the time? We don't respond to violence with violence."
"He was saying awful things. He said 'fuck'—that's a no-no. And he called me a midget! Me!" He huffed, making a great Emmett impersonation.
I sighed, deciding it was wise to drop the subject.
By the time we were both done eating, Justin stepped into the diner. His eyes found mine and his megawatt smile lit up his face as he strolled to our table. He cupped my cheeks in his hands, bending to kiss me long and deep. I couldn't say I objected; actually, I returned it tenfold.
"I leave you alone for a few hours and you become the hot gossip of Liberty Avenue."
"I defended Daddy!" Munchkin exclaimed, sitting up on his booth then throwing himself at Justin. I froze. Everything happened in slow-motion. I was certain he'd spill his brains on the floor, but Justin was quick and caught him mid-air, making me heave a breath in relief.
"Is that so, Munchkin?" He teased.
Patrick nodded wildly, wrapping his arms around Justin's neck. "I'm Daddy's superhero! I saved him twice so far!"
I snorted in laughter. "Yes, you are. Baby Rage."
"Who?" He frowned at me.
Justin threw me a warning look, distracting Munchkin with an Eskimo kiss. They sat across from me. "So what happened, exactly?"
"It's a long story. I'll tell you later. How was your meeting?"
"It's a go! And guess what!" He beamed, making me smile back. "This guy's father met Warhol! They even have some of his stuff in their house! I can't believe I'm going to paint for someone who has Warhol in their house. And they want my stuff! Can you believe it?"
"Yes. Yes, I can, Sunshine."
"Are we going to be rich?" Munchkin cocked his head to the side.
"I like to think we already are," I muttered, but he didn't pay me any mind.
Justin nodded. "Richer," he corrected with a gentle smile.
"Then can I get the pony for my birthday?"
I kicked Justin's foot under the table to stop him from going into that argument again. It was a hot topic lately.
"There are still a couple of weeks until your birthday," he relented.
See you on Sunday :)
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