Ain't No Mountain High Enough

By

Natalie Elizabeth

Previously on Aint No Mountain High Enough. A discussion with Martha reveals that Beckett's issues with staying in her apartment are more simpler than she realised. Castle wasn't at her apartment so she didn't want to be there.

Beckett stared at the door that would lead her to her destiny. A few people had already walked past and seen her standing there facing Castle door, and given her a confused look. It wasn't so easy to just open the door and walk through. She loved Castle, she really did, but he had already rejected her once. The pain still sat there deep in her heart, she didn't know if she was ready to face that again. Alexis had explained why he rejected her but what if she was wrong, what if he really didn't want to be loved by her. All these thoughts had been running through her head on the ride over to the hospital. Alexis had insisted on getting a car for her, then insisting on going with her, at least to the hospital. The young woman was now being driven around to nowhere in particular waiting until Beckett was ready to leave. Beckett had learned her lesson, there was no arguing with her.

So there Beckett stood dressed in clean clothes from her apartment, a mandatory stop along the way, having a panic attack. Just go in there she told herself. Go and tell him you love him. Make the nurses run in because his heart rate has gone up so high because you are kissing the living daylights out of him.

Hitching her purse high on her shoulder Beckett gave her head a bit of a shake to tussle her hair slightly before knocking on the door. She didn't wait for a response just opened the door and walked in. He was sitting up in his bed obviously watching TV, although what he was watching, she couldn't tell.

"Hi," she offered when he didn't turn around immediately at her presence.

She watched as he turned to look at his visitor a smile briefly appeared on his face before it disappeared again.

"Hi Beckett. I wasn't expecting you today."

Beckett tried not to let the words hurt her as she walked further into the room. Alexis had visited him as well as the gang, why would he expect her not to show. She had to keep it light, she couldn't risk aggravating him before she had a chance to spill her guts.

" Well I couldn't let my partner sit here all day bored, watching," she turned to look at the screen. "Jellyfish"

He shrugged at her. "It's quite interesting actually."

Well ok so she did actually find those sorts of things interesting and she knew Castle, for all his fun and games, was at heart, an intellectual to. Glancing around the room she marveled at how much it had changed in 24 hours.

"Looks like you are starting a flower shop in here."

No response.

Wow Castle must really find those jellyfish interesting as he barley drew his eyes off the screen to look around the room.

"I only kept the ones from close friends, the rest I asked the nurses to give them to other patients."

Beckett smiled at him, Castle always the humanitarian.

"I was going to bring flowers but I thought it might be too girly for you. I also think its kind strange to bring flowers to a person who is in hospital. After a few days the flowers die and the patient thinks about their own mortality."

He shrugged but continued to look at the screen almost memorised by the ghost like shapes. Beckett glanced at the screen, they were pretty hypnotic.

"I did bring you something."

Beckett opend her bag and pulled out two large bags of Skittles and placed them on the table that was across his bed. Hope spawned in her heart as she watched a smile form on his lips.

"Thanks."

He grabbed one of the bags and tore it open pouring its contents on the table.

Beckett took that as an invitation and swiped a few of the sugary bit sized candies."You know the green ones are apple flavoured in Australia."

He ignored her comment but Beckett noticed he purposely ignored picking up the green candy. Her heart plummeted again. Ok she had enough. Castle was silent. She was offering up useless bits of trivia which was usually his thing, and he was silent.

"Castle we talk about what happened yesterday."

He sighed then but at least he reached for the remote and turned the TV off.

"Beckett I'd rather not."

Ok maybe Castle had hit his head really hard because this was not normal. He was silent and he didn't want to talk. Had she walked into the wrong room?

"Castle will you let me explain."

"No." He cut her off. "A lot of things are all foggy in my head and I'd rather just forget the whole thing ok."

He wanted to forget. Forget that she told him she loved him. No this couldn't be happening.

"What's foggy, maybe I can clear things up for you."

Castle ran an uninjured hand though his hair. "Beckett look its ok, I get it."

He got it, got what?

"No Castle I don't think you do. I lo..."

"Good afternoon Rick, time for your sponge bath."

Beckett turned around and glared and the man who had just entered the room without knocking.

"Excuse me can you give us a minute, we were in the middle of something"

Understatement of the century.

The man looked apologetic but didn't retreat. "I am sorry miss I really need to get him done now, I am on a schedule."

Beckett looked back at Castle with pleading eyes as if there was something he could do. He simply ignored her and pushed back the table that was in front of him. turning back to the nurse Beckett addressed him, at least he looked at her.

"How long will it take, I'll wait outside."

Hell she had seen him naked before, she'd give him the sponge bath herself if he let her.

"10 minutes, I'll try and be quick."

Beckett nodded. 10 minutes she could wait 10 minutes to slap Castle. Why was he being like this for?.

"Beckett could you not."

Tunring back to the man who suddenly decided he ahyd time for her, she frowned. "Not what?"

"Not wait. I am really not in the mood to discuss this ok. I have just been involved in an accident and I really just want to recover in peace."

Beckett mouth opened but no words came out. He wanted peace, he thought whatever she was going to say was going to disrupted that. Maybe Martha and Alexis were wrong maybe he didn't love her. Was she trying to see something that wasn't really there. No, surly not. Not after all they had been though.

"Ok ill come back tomorrow then."

"NO."

Beckett mouth dropped open for the second time while Castle turned to look away from her.

"I mean can I call you, when I am ready."

Beckett swallowed deeply, she had to be strong, and she couldn't be selfish. Castle was the one who was injured, he needed time to recover. She wanted to argue with him, grab his head in both her hands and scream at him.

"Umm ok, if that's what you want."

When did she turn into such a chicken.?

"It really is."

Beckett nodded, she hadn't even been there for 2 minutes and he was already kicking her out. She leaned forward to give him a quick kiss on his cheek but he turned away from her. Gritting her teeth she righted herself and with as much dignity as she could muster she walked from the room.

Castle watched as the woman he loved walked away from him. It had been so hard to turn away from her kiss, to ignore her while she was in the room. He called himself every bad name he could think of and even still it didn't seemed like enough. He couldn't do it though, he couldn't take her love. As much as he wanted it, needed it, he wasn't going to do it. Her love had to come freely, yet he felt like he had blackmailed her into revealing it. When they had slept together Ryan and Esposito had told him Beckett was worried about losing him. Beckett had falsely declared her love for him when she thought he was dying, now she felt as if she had to stand by that declaration in order to keep him in her life. He didn't want love like that.

"I am sorry to interrupt Rick."

Castle shook his head. "It's ok."

"You look like your in a lot of pain. Would you like some pain killers.

He shook his head again.

This wasn't the kind of pain you could quell with medication, on often tried with Alcohol but that didn't work either

Beckett walked from the hospital placing her phone back in her bag. She had called Alexis who wasn't happy that she was done already. Alexis had assumed she would be awhile so had gotten the driver to head away from the hospital. It would be a little while before the car would arrive. Spying a bench she headed towards it, she didn't think she could stand the way she was feeling. Beckett slumped on the bench, tilted her head back and peered at the sky, looking for answers. None appeared, it was almost as if the blue sky mocked her. The sky was clear and vacant like her mind. She didn't know what to do, she loved him. She loved Castle! A fact that she had fought for so long, yet now she had come to that realisation, this wasn't the resolution she expected. Did he love her? Why was he acting this way? She needed a sign to help her figure out what to do.

"Kate is that you?"

Beckett's head snapped forward upon hearing her first name. When she had asked for a sign she had meant from heaven not hell. She tried to keep a straight face as Castles ex wife and publisher strode towards her a monstrosity of a gift basket in her arms.

"Is everything alright, is Rick ok."

Beckett tried to regain her composure, she was after all sitting in front of the hospital where other people here to visit Castle could spot her.

"He's fine, minor injuries but I won't spoil it for him. I am sure he would love to tell you all about it."

"Oh I know all about his injuries, Martha called me this morning to let me know all about it. I hear you're a bit of a hero."

Beckett was getting a bit sick of hearing that word. Castle was in danger, all she had thought about was getting to the man she loved.

"Castles getting a sponge bath at the moment," Beckett said trying to change the subject. "He should be done in ten minutes."

Gina looked towards the hospital then back at the empty spot next to Beckett on the bench. "Do you mind if I take a seat?"

Oh yes please, that would be the cherry on the cake that was the last 24 hours. Having a chat with Castles ex wife. An ex wife she had thoroughly annoyed not so long ago when she had stormed in and rescued Castle from another pointless event.

"Sure."

Beckett watched as Gina discarded the gaudy package in her hands and sat down next to her.

"So what has my dumb ass of an ex husband done to make you look so miserable."

Beckett looked at the blonde woman with surprise. Not only had she called Castle her EX husband, but she also knew it was him that had cause her grief.

Beckett shook her head. "I don't know what you're talking about?" She had nothing in common with this woman, she wasn't about to spill her guts to her.

"Oh please, you look the way I feel so it has to be guy trouble. Rick didn't do something to embarrass you at work did he? Write Rick loves Kate on your notebook, accidently spill coffee over your shirt."

Beckett was flabbergasted. "Why would you think Castle would write that on my notebook?"

Gina threw her head back and laughed. "Because he is head over heels in love with you and has been for a long time."

Why, why were people saying that? She had told Castle she loved him once, tried twice more, yet he didn't believe her. If he loved her then why was he rejecting her love

"No he isn't"

"Yes he is. Trust me I spent months up at the Hamptons with him and by the end of it I was ready to murder you. It was all Beckett, this Beckett that."

He talked about her while he was away with his new girlfriend. Ok so sure he was writing a book with a character based on her but to discuss her regularly.

"If you thought he was in love with me why did you stay with him?" She had witnessed Castle breaking up with Gina over the phone. She hadn't been the one to end it.

Gina sighed and heavily sat back on the bench.

"Because I couldn't be with the one I loved and I guess it was the same for Rick. "

Beckett was surprised, maybe she did have something in common with this woman.

Gina laid her hand on Beckett's arm. "Just so we are clear, me saying I wanted to murder you, was out of jealously. Not because Rick loved you and not me, but because of the way Rick loved you. It was so deep and pure, it was the way I wanted Tom to love me."

Beckett raised her brow at the mention of another man; she wasn't even going to touch what Gina had said about Castle's love for her.

"Tom?" Beckett asked not wanting to be nosy but she just threw it out there. Beckett watched as the woman beside her seemed to lose all her confidence and suddenly seemed so vulnerable.

"Tom is this man at work, we have had an off again on again relationship for a few years. We were off and I was feeling pretty miserable when I went with Rick to the Hamptons. When Rick and I broke up Tom and I started dating again. He admitted to being jealous when I was dating Rick and was worried he had missed his chance with me. Things were going well until my lease was coming up for renewal on my place. I had been spending so much time at Tom's place it seemed ridiculous to keep it. When I mentioned it to him, he got all weird. We got into a fight and then we broke up. I thought flirting with Rick in front of Tom, making him believe we were back together might make him change his mind. All it seemed to have done is make him angry."

It all made sense to Beckett now, the reason why Gina was arranging all these events for Castle to attend. Tom worked with her so it was likely he was attending these events to. Seeing Gina with her arm on Castle had angered her, surly it would have angered Tom if he really was in love with Gina.

"I'm sorry."

Gina shrugged. "I should have just been straight with him from the start. About what I wanted from a relationship, what my intentions were. I just went about things all the wrong way"

Beckett blew out a breath of air; this was all sounding all to familiar.

"I know what you mean." Beckett hadn't meant to say that. She had intended on sitting there and staying quite.

Gina gave her a sympathetic smile. "So you've heard about my pathetic life, what's going on in yours."

Beckett looked at the woman next to her. She was Castles ex wife, publisher and his ex wife. That's what was in the forefront of her mind, she was his ex, and his ex for a reason. Yet at this moment she wasn't Castle ex, she was simply a woman who was heartbroken. A feeling Beckett could relate to. Wincing as she dragged an injured hand though her hair, Beckett gave in.

"I told Castle I loved him and he didn't believe me."

"What?"

The shock on Gina's face was almost comical.

"We were supposed to get together and talk last night but then he got in the accident."

"Wait you didn't tell him while he was hurt did you?"

Beckett threw her hands up in frustration. "What is with his death bed confession theory?

Gina shook her head. "I don't know. It's frustrating as hell."

Beckett laid back on the bench and closed her eyes. "Tell me about it. I finally get my act together and tell him how I feel and he doesn't want me."

"So that's it. You're just giving up"

Beckett opened her eyes.

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Fight for him."

Beckett shook her head. "He doesn't want me."

Gina laughed. "Oh yes he does, he just wants you on his terms. He needs to know you love him for him, not because he is dying."

"I tried to tell him twice since then, he won't listen"

"Then you need to show him."

"How?"

Gina smiled. "The way Rick would show you."

Beckett frowned not sure what Gina was asking, then it clicked to her. Castle was into attention, being over the top, ostentatious. Gina was suggesting she tell Castle she loved him in a Castle like manner.

"I don't have the kind of money to rent out a billboard in time square."

Gina laughed. "Now your thinking like Rick. Time square might be a bit much but it's definitely something he would do. Its Rick's birthday next week, did you have anything planned."

Beckett shook her head. It had been in the back of her mind Rick's birthday was coming up but she had been focusing on so many other things recently.

Gina shrugged at her. "Well maybe you should."

"Kate, Gina?"

Beckett looked up and saw a confused Alexis climbing out of the car she had left in not too long ago.

"What's going on?"

Beckett looked at Gina and they both shared a smile that suggested that they were both a little unsure on the situation.

"Gina was just giving me some advice on how to deal with your father."

Alexis still looked a little confused.

"I was suggesting the way to get through to Rick, is to act like Rick."

Beckett looked at the blonde woman, wether she liked it or not Gina was a part of Ricks life. It wouldn't hurt to get along with her, it could come in handy.

"Gina, give me a call sometime, we could go for coffee."

Gina stood up. "No time like the present."

Beckett was shocked. "Umm weren't you going to go see Castle?"

The woman shrugged. "Not if he is in a mood. Here" Gina picked up her basket of goodies and handed it to a group of nurses that were walking past. "Give it to some needy patients."

Beckett looked at Alexis who simply shrugged at her. Gina seemed to want to help her with her situation. It wasn't the most ideal situation and Beckett wasn't too sure how Castle would feel about this, but desperate times called for desperate measures. She smiled at the two woman before her.

"Well why don't were head home and get Martha to join us. We can't have a meeting of The Rick Castle Is Stupid and Stubborn club without her." Beckett headed towards the car that was waiting for them and climbed in.

Alexis joined the detective and made room for Gina too. The young woman couldn't help the smile that was on her face. Kate had said home.

AUTHORS NOTE: well this was a bit of a crappy chapter , it just didn't seem to want to write.

Ok so Castles birthday probably is nowhere near when this story is set but hey for the purposes of this story, it is ok. Just go with it.

I have no idea why I have Gina helping Beckett, I had always planned on it but I have no idea why. Its not like I like her or anything but it just seemed to fit, weird huh.

Please review my pretties, come on I punished myself and didn't even watch the new ep of Castle yet as getting this new chapter up for more important. See what I do for you lovely's.