I'm sad to say only a few more chapters now, which is probably why this chapter is extra long. Thank you to all the readers who've stayed with me on the journey. Every time you review, it is heartsong for me, and I can't tell you enough how much I appreciate it.

As always, a huge thank you to my beta and muse, Mr. Bigg. Thank you for inspiring me and keeping me on track.

All characters are the property of Stephenie Meyer. No disrespect or copyright infringement is intended.

Intentions

I felt my breath trapped in my throat as the front door cracked. In a moment, an instant, she would be standing before me, all beauty and love come to life and packaged in the most perfect of human bodies. I fought against the urge to rush the porch.

Bella looked flush and concerned as she pulled the door closed behind her. Her eyes found me immediately. I felt the muscles in my chest twinge with guilt as I saw the small v between her brows, signaling that her worry hadn't ceased. She needed reassurance; I smiled crookedly, trying to offer what she needed.

"Edward, are you all right?" I felt my body stiffen as her scent overtook me. Her delicate features were indescribable, from the silken cords of her hair on her head, to the feathery brush of her lashes against her cheek, her heart-shaped mouth, to the petite and adorable feet that brought her to me. She tripped in her progress towards me, and immediately fear gripped me. I struggled to keep a happy-go-lucky expression on my face.

"Yes, Bella, I'm quite well, thank you," I bantered, trying to sound flippant and teasing. She was so damnably observant; did she sense the desires my façade restrained? I opened her door, waiting for her, hoping against hope that I appeared as if nothing significant happened last night.

She peered into my eyes, standing so closely that leaning forward and down would reward me with a kiss. A soft, wet, warm, pliable kiss… I knew I mustn't think that way. Getting through school fighting my desires would be difficult enough in her presence; and letting my love-peppered musings get the better of me would certainly end all my best efforts. I stood stock still, not breathing, allowing her to take inventory of me.

"Well?" Her voice was soft and mellifluous, kind and concerned. I wanted her to breathe all over me. "Are you really all right? I mean, last night, I was so worried."

"Yes, well that," I replied, motioning her to take a seat in the car. She did so, her eyes leaving me only long enough to find her position. I sped around the car, entered and sat, turning on the engine in a fluid motion. "I'm sorry you had to witness that. I'm much better now." And I love you more than ever, my heart, my life…

She turned, facing me, her eyes narrowed in examination. "And you think I'm going to buy that." It was not a question.

"There's nothing to buy, Bella." I tried for wounded, but my bright, observant, beautiful girl would have none of it. She turned her gaze to the road, and I could almost hear the gears turning as she processed the information. Almost.

I glanced at her face in profile, confirming that she's coming to her own conclusions. I knew I had to do better than this, better at explanation, better at divergence, but the pieces would not align. It was as if something huge and undeniable kept moving in between what I wanted to do and what I should do, and Bella noticed. Could she see the enormity of all she meant to me? I resigned myself to the silence of her mind as frustration met futility.

"Really, Edward, sometimes I wonder."

"What do you wonder?" Her tone was irritated. I wanted to stop the car, pull to the side, scoop her out of her seat and promise her anything, just to make the irritation go away. I knew the love day had me in its grips, but hearing any displeasure out of her lips was almost more than I could bear.

"I wonder what it will take for you to trust me." She turned to me, her features hard. Oh Bella, please…

"Bella, love, I do trust you."

"You don't trust me enough to tell me the truth, though," she said, wounded. "Alice said you were having a love day, and Jasper has to incapacitate you to keep you still, then you all just fly out of the room like there's no tomorrow, and today you're, what - quite well, thank you? Do you think I'm that stupid? That thoughtless?"

I gulped. She was right.

"No, I don't think you're thoughtless or stupid," I said softly. "It seems those monikers would apply to me." I glanced at her as we pulled into the school lot. "I'm sorry."

"Just tell me what's going on, then, Edward. Please."

"I –, " The screeching in my head was thunderous and unwelcome. Swinging my head, he came into view across the lot, leaning against a black motorcycle. I felt the hackles stand on the back of my neck, and immediately, uncharitably, I wondered if Bella had called him here.

"Bella," I said, speaking lowly and with urgency. "Will you spend the day with me, so I can explain?" Her eyes were immediately alit with consent, until she saw Jacob.

"Do you want to spend the day with me, or are you just trying to keep me away from him?" She pointed at Jacob with her forehead, but her expression spoke the betrayal she felt.

"Please," I begged. "I was apologizing before I heard him."

She studied my face, searching for traces of deception, or… jealousy, perhaps? I knew she would find none. My heart was at last open to this woman, for whom I would give anything, anything, to keep and please. Her eyes flitted back to Jacob.

"Hang on, Edward, okay?" She leaned across the seat to touch my hand in reassurance. The gentle caress of her skin opened the gates of heaven. Angels sang as her tiny, delicate, oh so human skin brushed against the cold marble of my own. All my careful planning unraveled and fell to the floor, my mouth dropping open and a short, violent inhalation jerked through my body. My eyes found her hand on mine and all I could do was let them feast on the beauty of her skin against mine. She followed my gaze to her hand, and startled, unconsciously pulled it away from mine. I was in freefall, tumbling and plunging, lost without her touch.

The rapping at my window brought me back to the rainy, Forks High parking lot. Jacob was at my window, waiting for me to lower it. I adjusted myself in my seat, and took a hard swallow.

"Jacob."

"Blood sucker," he quipped. "Bella." He sensed the scene between us, his thoughts confused about what was actually going on. "I just came to tell you, we've seen the red-headed leech on our lands again. Hope she's not anything to you. This weekend should be her last." What's going on here? Is Bella hurt?

"No," I answered both questions. "But thanks."

"Jacob, please. Be careful. She's dangerous and -," Bella started, but Jacob cut her off.

"We know what we're doing, Bella. 'Sides, looks like you have enough to keep you occupied." His eyes flashed to me before he turned and walked away. Bella's gaze followed him.

"Do you want to go talk to him?" Every muscle in my body tensed in anticipation. I knew the answer, but I prayed she wouldn't say it.

"It can wait. You and I need to talk first," she said, and I felt my body relax. "Are we ditching school today?"

I didn't need another cue. I turned the key and pressed my foot to the accelerator. The rain began to fall on the windshield. "Do you mind getting a little wet?"

"Uh, in case you haven't noticed, we're in Forks." My sweet, funny Bella. "So, you wanted to explain?"

"Yes," I said, gulping down my tension. "Should we start with love days?"

"I think that's a great start," she answered dryly.

"Carlisle and I have talked about this at length," I began. "We suppose it's because of our 'vegetarian' diet. The best we've been able to determine given the lack of research is that by suppressing what our bodies crave, our chemistry seeks other outlets for physical gratification. We call them love days, because they happen for a vampire with their mate, and never with anyone else." I turned onto the highway.

"So you just love someone, then?"

"Well, yes, but with a physical need that borders on addiction. The urgings are so strong, that to be separated from one's mate causes physical pain." Her brows knitted together as she processed the information.

"You're in pain?"

"Well, you're here, with me, so I'm okay." Crawl over to me, love; make me whole.

"You didn't answer my question. You need to tell me, Edward."

"Yes, Bella, I'm in pain." A pain only you can end.

"Is that why you gasped when I touched your hand?"

"Yes."

"So, it's like a super-lust or something?"

"Yes and no; mostly no. It's more than lust. It's like a synaesthesia, a blending of the senses. You touch me, and my chest swells with love for you. You're display disappointment, and my arms ache to hold you." She was watching me, taking in the information. "I don't know that there's a human equivalent; the closest I can approximate is that a woman feels for her newborn child, or the cravings of a drug-deprived heroin addict."

She looked out the rain-streaked window for a few moments, considering what she'd heard and matching the information to the images in her head. She leaned forward and looked out the front windshield. "I can't see the clouds." She seemed to be talking to herself in a calming way. Had what I'd said upset her? What went on in that head as she worked this into understanding?

"Bella, please tell me what you're thinking before I go mad."

She pulled back slowly to her seat, settling in with a small grunt. Still gazing through the front windshield, she said, "I guess I'm just trying to take it all in, Edward. I sort of get the pain part of it, but why did Jasper have to keep you, uh… down?"

"That's fair enough," I said, breathing a sigh of relief. She wasn't angry or frightened, and we seemed to be on the path to understanding. "You remember Jasper's gift, right?"

"Yeah, controlling emotions," she said, a question hanging in her answer.

"It's a bit more than that. He can manipulate emotion, change the level higher or lower, yes, but he also senses it and is affected by it. He could sense the level of need I felt for you, the physical aspect of my desire. He felt my feelings, and knew that if I followed my emotions to satisfy myself, you would be harmed in the process. He also has a sort of back-up sensor, in that he knows how my actions will affect the future."

"Alice," she whispered, picking up my meaning.

"Yes. Alice saw the course my emotions would run, and saw danger for you and me, both."

"Both?"

"Yes, both. You, for the physical damage I could inflict on you. And for me, the emotional damage I would carry because of that physical damage. I wasn't in control."

"But you're with me today?"

"Yes, I couldn't stay away. I need to be near you. Physical pain, remember?" The turnout for the trail head appeared on the left. I swung the car around and parked. "I found my control, and its that control that guides me today. Here we are."

Bella's face lit up with excitement. "The meadow?" she asked, smiling as she undid her seat belt.

"I thought… It's where we've had our most enlightening conversations, and I thought today should not become an exception." I watched her expression fill with eagerness and satisfaction, as if this were her idea as well. She opened the truck door and swung her legs over to jump down. I was there before she hit the ground, scooping her into my arms. She was a bundle of love, all mine, now and always. Her mouth dropped open, her eyes wide and questioning. "We have important things to say; I can't risk you being hurt."

I set her down taking her hand, small and warm in mine. She let me lead her to the mouth of the path, so trusting and unafraid – so Bella. "Are you ready?"

"Yes," she said, her chin dipping slightly.

I turned my back to her, pulling her hand and arm around my neck. The sweetness of her scent burned through my senses, scorching me with desire and sensual penury. "Ready?" She didn't answer, but clutched tightly at my neck and pressed her sex against my back. I was encircled by love. "Close your eyes."

The meadow glistened in the soft rain, quiet and untouched, as if it had been waiting for our return. Flowers, bathed in the rain, released their sweet fragrance, welcoming, beckoning. I came to a stop beneath a sheltering hemlock, touching my love's hands encircling my neck.

"Open your eyes," I breathed over my shoulder. Bella's scent fused with the meadow, creating a heady mélange that whispered home. I bent my knees, allowing her to ease herself to the ground. As she stood, her hand sought mine.

"Edward, it's so beautiful," she murmured, taking in the full range of the meadow. Our meadow. "I've never seen it in the rain."

We stood together, Bella watching the quiet rain bathe our heaven on earth as I watched Bella. Her silent reverence for our secret place was no mere devoir; the awed hush she held as she regarded the rain, the flowers and the earth demonstrated to me exactly what this meadow meant to her. My chest was full with love and pride as I stood behind her, sharing the vista, my arms circling around her waist.

I leaned down, letting my breath find her ear. "Bella," I whispered, breaking her reverie. "This will always be ours."

She turned within my arms, facing me, love emanating from her eyes. "Thank you. Thank you for this secret, for bringing me here. For bringing me here today." She raised up on her tiptoes to kiss me, and it was all I could do to resist lifting her and plunging my tongue into her mouth. She dropped to her feet, arms still around my neck.

"Will you sit with me?" Her brows pulled together as she moved.

I led her to the trunk of the tree, where the branches sheltered her from the rain, and sat facing next to her. The rain found its way to me, now and again pelting me with tiny drops that spread into blots. "Are you comfortable, love?"

"Edward, I'm fine," she said, looking directly into my eyes. "Why did you bring me here?"

"Have I displeased you?"

"No, not at all," she whispered, breaking her gaze and searching the meadow. "This is my favorite place on earth, when you're here with me."

"I'm sorry," I sighed, letting my nerves regain composure from grip of momentary panic. "I'm doing my best to control the love day, but I think it gets the better of my composure." Her face was relaxed and non-judgmental. "This is my favorite place on earth, too, which is exactly why I came here.

"When I'm in your presence, Bella, I feel more myself than at any other time. You've let me share with you, and give you parts of myself, something I'd been missing."

"I know, Edward, I feel the same way. I feel like there was a whole side of me that was missing before I met you. Something no one else knew to even look for, and you saw it in me right away. You made me feel special, and I can't imagine why you see me that way."

"Even though I can't read your mind, I can read your heart, which is more beautiful and giving than I ever imagined. It's your heart that calls me back, love, it's your warmth. And I don't mean solely physically, although that's been pretty spectacular as well." She blushed crimson, and I melted. I felt the love day rising to the surface, threatening to take over, and I gulped it down, willing it into reserve.

"What is it, Edward? Are you alright?"

I chuckled. "See? That's what I mean. Who else sees that? Who else would ask after my well-being, knowing that I'm fairly indestructible?" I leaned toward her, lifting my hand to run through her damp, silky hair. "Only you, Bella. Only you could care for one such as I.

"I know you want more from me, and I long to give it to you. Since Italy… Since I came back…," I stammered, trying to find the right words. "I have never felt so awkward, trying to say something so basic," I muttered, more to myself than to her. "I've gone over this in my head so many times. Bella," I took her hand and looked into her eyes, "You've made me realize what I've been missing, what's kept me from feeling complete. It's you, you were missing from my world. And now that I know that, I don't want to waste another moment. I want to give myself to you, however you will take me." I dropped my eyes, and picked up her tiny hand, kissing the knuckles.

"Really?" Her eyes were bright with excitement, her expression eager.

"Yes, love. Really," I whispered, stroking her hair. "You may have noticed I can't keep my hands off you."

"Isn't that just because of the... ," she hesitated, the concern creasing her brow once more. "Because of the love day?"

"The love day has impacted me, yes," I whispered in her ear, "but it's far more than that. It's you. Your scent, the smell of your skin," I said, running my nose down her neck and up her throat. When my lips reached hers, I pulled her head closer to me and breathed into her mouth. "It's the taste of your tongue." Her eyes closed as I darted my tongue into her hot mouth, and she returned my kiss. The sweetness of her embrace was intoxicating and overwhelming. Our tongues sparred in mock battle, a war we both would win. Her heart was pounding, inviting, promising me everything. My control began to slip and with great reluctance, I pulled back.

She opened her eyes, clearly unhappy with my retreat. "Um, I thought you, I thought we were…" She trailed off, the pale blush returning to her cheeks.

"Oh sweet girl, I love you." I leaned in and kissed her chastely at the corner of her mouth. "It's cold here, love, and you are not protected."

"But then when? Where?" Her eyes searched mine, demanding an answer. "I want this, Edward. More than words can say, I want this." She was on her knees, her arms around my neck.

Our foreheads touched as we moved closer together. "Wherever you say, whenever you say, as long as you're safe, love."

"Can we go somewhere?"

I pulled back to examine her face. "Where do you have in mind, Bella?"

"What about…," she bit her lip, thinking, completely capturing my attention with that small gesture. "What if we went to Canada this weekend?"

"Uh, isn't there a small problem with that?"

"What do you mean?"

"Charlie?"

"Oh," She bit her lip again. I watched with intense fascination as she ran it between her teeth. "I can say we're going to visit Renee. Renee will be okay with that, I'm sure."

It was my turn to consider the possibilities. A whole weekend, uninterrupted, alone with Bella. No running away at dawn, no teasing siblings to deal with… It could be… "Perfect."

"Really? Oh, Edward!" She pulled me close in a hug, her heart pounding once again. Her warmth permeated my damp clothes and threatened to undo me again. I pushed her away lightly.

"Oops. Sorry," she apologized, sitting back on her feet. "I'll call Renee tonight, then we can tell Charlie on Thursday."

"Bella," I started, my throat suddenly dry and constricted, "I've been examining who and what I am.

"Though my skin is not tender, my love for you is. My heart may not beat, but it yearns for you and no other. I can live without water," I held my hand out as a raindrop fell into my palm, "I can live without sun, stars, air or breath, but I cannot live without you.

"I've searched myself, trying to find that which is not made whole by you. And I can tell you truly, that part does not exist. You have saved me in more ways than I can count, never thinking of yourself; you have risked your entire being for my benefit.

"I can think of nothing else in my existence that has given me so much joy. In this place, holy to us, I pledge all that I am, all that I have, now and forever, to you."

I scrambled to my knees, and took her small hand in mine. "Bella, I will give you my love and devotion from now until eternity. Will you marry me?"

I couldn't read her expression, and panic seized me as I waited. After a millennium, she whispered, "Yes." And my heart soared.

A/N: I hope you'll leave a note of review and, as Alice would say, "Show me the love."