Disclaimer: See Chapter 35.

Note: 300 reviews guys! 300! I'm just in shock, absolute, utter shock. You guys are just amazing! I hope this chapter will be enough to show you my thanks because I just don't have the words. Thank you so much everyone! Really, I mean it! Thank you. I hope you like this chapter! And it's up early in the day! See you Friday! Enjoy! -JJ

Last Kiss Goodbye

Roman finished up his conversation on his cell phone and sighed lightly. Everything was finally in place. All he had left to do was tell one last person that he was leaving. He tucked his phone in his pocket, looking around at the living room floor where the last couple boxes littered the floor. He closed his eyes, finally letting everything sink in. He was really letting all of it go. He was really going to move on.

He swallowed hard, the reality of everything feeling almost surreal. He'd never thought he'd ever be in a place like this in his life. He nodded to himself, opening his eyes as took a deep breath and gathered all his courage. He'd pack his last few boxes up when he got back.

His feet carried him almost numbly out of the house and to his car, his hands shaking as he opened the heavy door and turned the key. His thoughts were a jumbled mess as he drove, completely unsure of how things were going to go. He could easily be pushed away, forcing him to leave without the goodbye and closure he so desperately wanted.

He took another deep breath as he slowed to a stop just outside of the house he knew he had to walk up to. His hands shook harder as he put the car in park and got out. His heart hammered in his chest, making it hard to hear anything over the roar of blood rushing in his ears. He shoved his keys into his pocket as he slowly started up the walk, the words he wanted to say playing in his head.

Roman found himself standing in front of the door faster than he knew. Silently, he tried to push the panic growing inside him down. He heard the light laughter inside, breaking his thoughts and piercing his heart. He closed his eyes and braced himself as he knocked on the white door, the gentle raps louder than cracking thunder in his ears. He waited, the laughter inside dying down. His eyes slid open when he heard footsteps coming closer.

Drew opened the door, his bright smile slowly fading as he looked at the slightly taller male. He'd never expected to see Roman on his doorstep. "Roman?" he questioned, his hand tight on the doorknob. He looked the other man over, the broad shoulders slightly hunched forward, the handsome face tired looking.

Roman met the dark blue eyes, nodding. "Yeah. Is Cody here? I… I just wanted to talk to him for a few minutes," he started, his voice coming out softer than he'd meant it to. "If he'll even talk to me."

Drew nodded, the sound of pure defeat resounding in his chest. He opened the door a little wider, motioning for Roman to step inside before he shut it. "He's working on his laundry," he explained, pointing to where Cody was sitting, previously hidden by the open door. He smiled as he looked down at Cody, the other male sitting cross legged on the floor with a small stack of neatly folded laundry in front of him. "Cody?" He watched those happy blue eyes look up at him before panic suddenly flickered through them as they landed on Roman.

Roman could barely catch his breath. It had been almost a month since Cody had moved out and Roman hadn't seen him once. He looked over his ex lover, the baggy lounge pants covering Cody's legs, a t-shirt at least two sizes too big covered his torso. Still, he thought Cody looked like the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. "Hey," he murmured, looking down at the floor, unable to meet the blue eyes. "I… um… I just wanted to talk to you for a minute."

Cody sat up a little straighter, knowing that tone well. His heart pounded in his chest as he looked over the other male. "Talk," he breathed before he thought. He wasn't angry anymore, in fact he hadn't spared too much extra though to what had happened. He was just trying to take his time to move on as best as he could. He was still getting his head together before he went to talk to Roman. He didn't want to fuck it up again and he knew if he rushed, that's exactly what he would do. He wanted the words to be right.

Roman shook his head slowly, looking in Drew's direction, the Scot standing to his side. "Not here," he murmured. "I want us to talk alone. Take a drive with me?" He was asking, hoping that Cody wouldn't deny him. He really wanted to say goodbye just the two of them.

Cody found himself nodding without a second thought. He stood, looking from Roman to Drew before his eyes fell to the floor. "Wait here. I'll change," he said softly, turning his back to the two and walking off towards his room. He looked over his shoulder, Roman turning to Drew, a frown still on those perfect lips. He felt his lips turn up into a small smile. This was his chance. He had to take it, tell Roman what he was thinking, how he felt before he lost the chance forever.

Roman sucked in a breath, meeting Drew's dark blue eyes. He forced a smile onto his lips. "Well, you don't have to worry about me anymore," he said gently, shoving his hands into his pockets. "It'll probably be kinda late when he gets back. Just so you know." He swallowed hard, looking up when he heard the soft footsteps coming closer. His smile fell, Cody changing from the lounge clothes to a pair of tighter fitting black jeans and a nice regularly fitting t-shirt. "R-ready?"

Cody nodded, walking over to the door and slipping his flip-flops on. He followed Roman out, looking back at a slightly surprised looking Drew. He couldn't help but smile as he slightly waved. This was his chance. This was what he and Drew had been discussing for the better part of a week. He couldn't take it for granted.

Drew watched from the door as the two made their way down the walk, Cody right next to Roman. He felt a heavy sigh fall from his lips, his head shaking. "Roman, you idiot," he groaned, his eyes following as the two got into the vehicle on the street. "You never lost him. He's been stuck on you this entire time." He shut the door, the two metal doors closing behind Roman and Cody. He'd wait patiently to find out how it all went with the two.

Cody looked around the dark, leather interior of the SUV. "You got a new car?" he asked, genuinely curious as Roman started the vehicle and they started down the road. He tried to relax into the warm seat, finding it hard to do with Roman sitting right next to him. His hands started to pick at each other as the nerves inside him started to build and course through him. He didn't know want to expect from the Samoan. He only hoped that his feelings would still be returned. He'd been selfish, he knew that, he just hoped that he could still make amends.

"Yeah. I needed something a little different," Roman explained, gripping the wheel tightly, his knuckles lightening. He was nervous. "I traded my car in for it. It's a bit older and has a few more miles but it's easier on my legs." He bit his lower lip as he snuck a glance over at Cody, those blue eyes focused on the road outside the windshield. "Thank you… for coming with me."

"We needed to talk anyway," Cody said gently, looking over at the other man. "Where are we going anyway?" He watched idly as they left the city limits and started down the interstate. His heart leapt into his chest, suddenly knowing exactly where Roman was taking them. He wondered why they were going there of all places.

Roman didn't answer, untrusting of his voice. He just followed the familiar roads easily before he stopped at their secret hill. He turned the SUV off and got out, walking over the very beginning of the slope. He looked hard for the train he knew would be coming by. He could barely see the black smoke in the distance and he wondered why the train was running so slow.

"Why are we here?" Cody finally asked as he walked up and stood next to Roman. His eyes searched the distance as well. He smiled, seeing the billowing smoke curl up into the dark sky, obscuring the bright stars for a moment. He hadn't heard a word from the other man. "Roman?" He turned to the Samoan, a key ring resting in the taller male's hand.

Roman just looked down at the key ring with a hard stare. "This is where it all started with us," he explained, holding his hand out, palm up and fingers straight. "I figured it would be the perfect place to end it."

Cody looked from Roman's opened hand to his hardened face. "That's almost poetic," he nervously laughed, swallowing hard when the lifeless grey eyes met his. His stomach flipped, making him feel almost nauseous. "What are those for?" His body refused to move, even after Roman had took his hand and placed the keys there.

"They're keys to the house," Roman answered, forcing himself to smile. "It's yours, if you want to move back in." He felt like he was choking on his breath, and he hadn't even gotten to the hardest part.

"But this is your set of keys," Cody interrupted, looking down at the silver keys before looking back up into the grey eyes, his brows furrowed in complete confusion. He felt dread start to slowly seep into him. He tried to push it away.

"I know. I'm transferring to a university in Iowa. I'm leaving in the morning so everything's yours if you want it," he explained, his heart hammering against his sternum, his body starting to tremble. "I didn't pack much since I've already got a furnished apartment up there ready for me." He paused, looking down at his hands, both clasped tightly in front of him. He hoped Cody couldn't see how bad they were shaking.

Cody looked back at the keys, letting the words slowly sink in. He wanted to open his mouth, say something, anything. He wanted to protest, tell Roman to stop jerking him around. He stopped, closing his mouth and biting his lower lip. This wasn't want he'd wanted. This wasn't what he'd wanted to talk to Roman about. This wasn't what he'd wanted to say. His jaw tightened as his fingers curled around the keys, the sharp edges digging painfully into his skin.

"I've had the offer for a couple years now and it's just time I moved on from this place," Roman finished, his voice starting to tremble as he looked out into the distance. He found that the train was still far off. He silently wished it would hurry so he and Cody could share the sight one last time before he walked away completely.

"Did I know about this before the accident?" Cody asked suddenly, trying to push the sudden feeling of anger and hurt away. After he saw the dark head shake slowly from side to side, he couldn't help but question why Roman was telling him about now.

"I didn't want to leave you back then," he said gently, pushing out a watery smile. "Our families are here and you love it here. You love working at Damien's bookstore. I couldn't and I never would ask you to leave there for my job."

"Why are you telling me all this now?" It was soft, sad almost as Cody's body shook. The warm breeze hit him, doing little to comfort or fight the coldness growing in his chest. His heart was breaking, the words he desperately wanted to say slowly dying in his throat. "Why did you wait so long?"

"Because I' finally giving up," Roman murmured, the words tearing at his insides. "I'm tired of wishing for you to remember what we had. And so far all we've done is hurt each other. What we had was the best thing in my world, but it's time that I get real and realize that it's never going to work again. You've already moved on, it's time I do the same."

Cody stood there in silence, the words coursing through him floating on the bone chilling hurt. He wanted it to work. He wanted Roman to take it back, take every last word. He wanted to yell out that this wasn't how it was supposed to be. He'd cooled off, he'd taking the time to really think about how he felt. He was ready to take responsibility for his selfishness and apologize. He wanted them to be together. He wanted Roman.

Roman sighed, resting his hand on the back of Cody's head, pulling him in close, his lips pressing lightly against the warm forehead. "I'm sorry, this is the only way I know how to say goodbye," he murmured, Cody's body stiff under his touch. He closed his eyes, taking in the scent of the other male one last time. His heart was aching in his chest. He'd done what he'd set out to do, but he hadn't expected it to hurt as much as it did.

"Then do it right," Cody rumbled, pulling back, keys falling to the ground as his hands wound in the chest of Roman's dark t-shirt. "Kiss me right." The surprised was evident in Roman's face as Cody rose up, their lips meeting in a forceful but tender kiss. His eyes closed as Roman's tattooed arm wrapped around his waist, the other strong hand moving for cradle the back of his head. His own body was numb, riding the waves of emotions that flooded all through him. He didn't want to leave those lips.

Roman felt the same spark there on those lips he'd always felt as Cody's tongue ran along the edge of his lower lip. He knew it was a request. His lips parted and his tongue met Cody's both gliding against each other in his mouth. He groaned, his heart ripping apart in his chest. He knew this was the last time he'd have those lips on his and all he wanted to do was cry out in emotional agony at the thought.

Cody's breathing increased, his body pushing closer into Roman's, wanting to take in as much of the other man's heat as humanly possible. He didn't want to leave those strong arms. He didn't want Roman to leave him. Endlessly, he wished for time to stop and let him keep Roman just a little longer. Just long enough to get the courage to say the words that were stuck in his throat.

Roman was the one to pull back, the whistle of the train growing louder, echoing around them. He looked down into the hazy blue eyes. He couldn't help but smile, the gentleness something he loved about Cody. He knew the younger male could be feisty. He also knew Cody wasn't afraid to take what he truly wanted, but at that moment it was nice to see Cody's gentleness shine through.

He turned, watching the black smoke hurry just a little closer to them above the trees. "Did you want to go back?" he asked softly, knowing that had to get Cody back home sometime. The longer they were together like this, the harder it would be for him to actually let go. And he had to let go.

Cody shook his head. He didn't want to go back, not yet. He wanted as much time with Roman as he could get now that it was limited. He wasn't going to spare one moment that he could have of the other man's time. "I want to watch the train with you," he finally murmured, turning towards the tracks, finding that the train was still a ways off. "Is that okay?" He hoped it was.

Roman nodded, unable to fight the smile that was taking over his lips. "That's fine with me," he answered, holding up one finger as he walked back to the SUV and grabbed a blanket from one of the boxes in the back. He shut the hatch and walked back, spreading the large blanked out on the ground for them to sit on. "It's going pretty slow tonight. I don't feel like having grass cuts in my hands or bug bites."

Cody nodded, unable to hold back the chuckle that was bubbling up inside of him. He watched as Roman sat down on the black and blue blanket, a bronze hand patting the spot next to him. He felt his heart leap up into his throat was he moved to sit next to Roman. Blue eyes watched the slowly approaching smoke, his body moving to sit between Roman's long legs. He didn't offer an explanation at the change of position.

Roman didn't want one. He wrapped his arms around Cody's smaller frame, resting his chin on Cody's shoulder. The smile on his lips was bittersweet. He'd held Cody countless times like this, but this time, it was different. This was the last time he'd hold Cody. His arms tightened around the slim waist, wanting nothing more than to pull Cody into his skin and keep him within always.

Cody leaned back heavily against Roman's chest, his smooth cheek brushing against the day old stubble on Roman's. He closed his eyes, the train whistle growing louder until it was right on them. Once his eyes opened, he saw just how slow the double engines were pulling their haul. It would be a long time before the train fully passed them, forcing him and Roman to wait it out since it crossed the only toad that lead back to the interstate.

Roman listened to the noises around him, the whistle loud in his ears, but the soft chirping of crickets and the wind rustling the tall grass only adding to the symphony of the night. He sighed, closing his eyes.

He didn't want to let go. He wanted to tell Cody just how much he loved him, how this as the hardest thing he'd ever done in his life. He didn't want to walk away, but he knew it was for the best: for both of them. He felt Cody shift, his steel grey eyes slowly opening.

Cody looked into the saddened his eyes, his heart pounding harder. He looked from one crystalline orb to the other, his breath caught in his throat. He moved in and kissed Roman's sweet lips. He felt the desperation pour out of him as his body turned completely to face Roman's. His lips parted and Roman's tongue moved against his and into his mouth. He groaned, his body shaking at the earth shattering jolt that shot through him.

Roman felt the same bolt of lightening run through him as he was pushed back onto the blanket, Cody's hands on his shoulders, their chest pressed flush together. He gasped, Cody's hand sliding up to his hair, pulling it free from its sleek bum. "Cody," he whimpered, looking up into the pleading blue eyes. It made him pause, his heart lurching in his chest. "We shouldn't do this."

Cody bit his lower lip, the words he wanted to say sticking in his throat and refusing to leave. "You're saying goodbye, right?" he questioned, his eyes closing to keep back the building tears. "Let me say it back." He felt lips on his again, this time their kisses needier, more desperate for them to keep hold of the other. He groaned in Roman's mouth, the bronze hands sliding up his shirt, heat radiating from the light touch up into his frozen chest.

Roman's hands pulled at Cody's shirt as Cody tugged at his, both falling to the side in a smile pile as their hands caressed every inch of skin they could touch. He paused, his fingers brushing over the silver chain, the band he'd given Cody on Christmas resting just above the other man's heart. His own heart pounded in his chest, his fingers curling around the ring. He didn't think Cody would keep it.

Cody took Roman's hand from his necklace and laced their fingers as he pushed it to the ground. Their eyes met and he hoped Roman could see what he couldn't say. He gasped, Roman's bigger body flipping them, his lips running down his neck, little bites being left in his wake. He whimpered, Roman's lips moving down to his chest. He couldn't speak, his voice gone.

Roman's lips caressed every inch of Cody's strong chest, his hands touching the same places over and over, memorizing it. He refused to move from over Cody, sure that if he did the other male would float away from him. He was terrified that this would all be a dream and he'd wake to his alarm telling him it was time to leave. His hands went to work on Cody's jeans; swift hands following suit, leaving them both completely bare in the darkness of the night.

Roman's bigger body hovered over Cody's, their hot skin slowly, almost nervously grinding into each other. He leaned in, kissing Cody's lips lightly. He couldn't get enough of how the other man tasted.

Cody gasped, as Roman pulled back, taking the breath from his lungs. He looked up into the intense grey eyes. The long, raven colored hair cascaded around them, blocking out the rest of the world, leaving only him and Roman. At that moment he wanted nothing more than to apologize, tell Roman he was sorry for how selfish he'd been. He wanted to let Roman know he wanted to fix things, set things right. He gasped again before he had the chance, Roman leaning in and pressing butterfly kisses to his neck. He lost his train of thought, lost everything as he gave himself completely over to Roman.

Roman was silent as his body moved against Cody's, his hands moving from beside Cody's head to hold the other man's hips. "Is this something you really want?" he asked softly, his voice barely above a whisper. He shivered, Cody's hand running though his hair, pushing it back away from his face. He could see it in Cody's clouded eyes that it was.

Cody nodded, reaching for Roman's hand, sucking the first two fingers into his mouth. He swirled his tongue around them, between them, slicking them up the best he could. "I trust you," he breathed, his lips once again attached to Roman's as Roman's fingers slid between them.

Roman slowly stretched Cody, using as much spit as he could. He knew it was probably one of the worst lubricants but he didn't have anything else and he didn't want to stop. He whimpered, Cody pulling him in closer, placing perfectly targeted kisses on his neck, suckling the skin gently and leaving little marks that would probably fade by the next morning. He pulled back, looking over Cody's flushed body, taking in the sight one last time. He smiled, that beautiful body under him belonging to him just a little longer.

Cody moved to sit up on his elbows, looking his Samoan Adonis over. He pushed Roman to lay back as his mouth trailed down the strong chest, taking no detour as he moved straight down the proof of Roman's arousal. He suckled the head in, using as much saliva as he could to slick Roman up. He knew it was going to be more than a little painful this time, but it did nothing to compare to the pain in his chest.

Roman watched as Cody straddled his lap, their bodies slowly connecting. His head fell back as his back arched and a low groan escaped from his lips. His hands clutched Cody's hips, their hips finally flush together.

Cody smiled, a tear rolling down his cheek as he looked down at Roman. He brushed it away before those grey eyes were on him again. He pushed back the pain he felt, the sting of using almost nothing to help with Roman's larger girth. He could see the questioning look in Roman's eyes and he nodded. He was fine. He would be fine. His hips rose and fell slowly, moans spilling from both of their lips as they moved together under the stars.

Roman maneuvered to sit up, pulling Cody's legs around him so the smaller male was sitting in his lap. He held tight to Cody, his body growing hotter and hotter. He was silent as he moved against Cody, his heart starting to ache with each gentle thrust upwards into the tight channel. His arms crossed over Cody's back, his face pressed firmly into Cody's shoulder. He was holding back from telling Cody just how much he loved him.

Cody bit his lower lip harder and harder, refusing to let up even after he tasted the first drop of bitter copper on his tongue. His hands tightened in Roman's hair, the phrase he wanted to say begging to be let lose. He refused to let it go. He wasn't going to stop Roman from leaving. He deserved to watch Roman leave, he deserved everything that was happening. He'd been selfish. He'd been the one to fuck this up. He wasn't going to stand in Roman's way of being happy.

Roman's hand wrapped around Cody's shaft as their bodies moved faster, stroking him in time to their thrusts. He was rewarded quickly with the hot release that stuck to his hand and between their sweat slicked bellies. He felt Cody's walls spasming around him, sucking his own orgasm free. He gasped, biting into Cody's shoulder to keep from crying out. Once the after shocks of his mind blowing release settled in him he pulled back, looking up into the clouded blue eyes, their lips touching in a gentle kiss.

Cody rested in the strong arms, listening to the train as the sound of metal wheels on the tracks faded and the whistle blew in the distance. He knew him and Roman didn't have any more excuses to stay there even though he wished he had one. He pressed his lips against Roman's shoulder, mouthing the words he so desperately wanted to say. I love you. He knew Roman wouldn't know what it was.

Roman felt Cody's lips move against his skin, his undirtied hand sliding up Cody's chest to cup his ring once more. He sighed, his hand tightening around it as he kissed Cody a little harder. He didn't dare ask why Cody was wearing it, afraid of the real answer. Damn this man for having his heart.

Roman's hand was wrapped around Cody's as they drove silently back into town. It tightened as they came to a stop in front of Drew's house, one light still burning for Cody. He felt time stand still as they sat there in silence, the entire night playing over in both of their minds. "I'll miss you," he finally murmured, teary blue eyes looking up at him. "Be happy Cody. Please."

Cody nodded, taking a deep, shaky breath. "You too Ro," he returned, pulling his hand free. He didn't look back as he opened the door and started up the walk. He stopped halfway, turning so his eyes could meet grey ones, the beautiful eyes just as sad as his. He watched Roman pull off and he couldn't hold it in any longer. "I love you," he choked out, wrapping his arms around himself.

(A/N): *Hands out tissues* I'm sure everyone hates me now, but we still have a little bit left to go. I know this chapter is a cluster fuck of emotions. I hope you guys still like it. I would love to know your thoughts! As always, onwards and upwards! Title is Last Kiss Goodbye by Hinder.

JacktheSinister_JaketheJust