maya's pov:

i need him. well i don't need him, but he already knows so he can help. even though i ask him he doesn't reply for a while. he lays down behind me holding on to me, his hand across my torso. it felt nice, supportive, like i didn't have cancer.

"what for?" lucas says suddenly.

"will you he…" i go to say, but the door shuts from behind the curtain and lucas jumps up thinking someone's come in.

"hello?" i shout, but silence. "hello?" i repeat standing up with a little struggle and stagger towards the door, pulling my intravenous iv lines and fluids behind me.

"maya!" lucas says running over to me and grabbing my arm to support me, "get back to bed."

"lucas don't, let me walk while i still can." i reply and shake him off.

"okay," he says, and he stands still while i walk round the curtain to the door, "but don't talk like that."

i go to reply as i open the door and look down the corridor. i don't reply though. because i she her. well, her side. sitting with her back against the side of the locker. i look at the clock not the wall. it's 3 minutes till the end of 3rd period and i know that the corridors will be filling with pupils soon. i don't want other people to see me like this. i have needles in my arms and a blanket round my shoulders. i don't want that. i'm pale and weak.

then i clock it. she saw. she saw me and lucas kiss. i don't care who sees me, she saw so i go to rush over. my attempt isn't successful. i fall over in the middle of the corridor and riley turns round and looks round the locker at me.

"maya!" she shouts, pushing herself up off the floor and running over to me.

"you saw." i say, trying to stand myself up with the help of a garbage can.

"what?" she asks, "and sit down." she adds trying to get me to sit on the floor. i give in and slump to the floor, making sure i pull her down with me.

"you saw me and lucas. didn't you." i ask. she stays quiet and then a smile starts to creep onto her face.

"yeahhhhh." she confesses but her happy response throw me completely.

"what?" i say and the bell signalling the end of third rings through the corridor, "aren't you mad?"

"why would i be?" she says and she looks around her as the classroom doors start to open.

i get nervous as people start fill the corridor, swarming around us like bees and starring down at us like a display at an art museum. i look at my the tubes connected to the needles in my arm and the liquid being pumped into my veins by a big machine. i don't like this.

riley clocks my anxiousness, "maya lets go back i…"

"no." i say bluntly, looking at the floor, "i need to explain this to you."

some guy looks down at me from his locker, "maya come on!" riley repeats, standing up and tugging on my arm.

"no." i repeat but i do pull myself up, with riley assistance.

"look, i'm with charlie now and you like him. i don't mind."

"but…"

"no, no buts. you like him and he's like a brother to me. brothers always have the coolest girlfriends anyway." she says and we both smile. i lean forward and give her a hug. getting her permission was so relieving and i was so pleased she didn't mind.

"maya!" lucas says, interrupting our hug, "come on!" he adds and motions me o come back to the office. i know this is because there's people around but i don't care.

"help me." i say as i turn to riley.

"what?" she says as i make my way towards a bench and attempt to stand on it.

"help me." i repeat and she gives me a push up onto the bench. it takes me a while to stable myself and i have to keep one arm lowered so the tubes and wires don't pull.

"YO, YOU LOT!" i shout and the whole corridor turn to look at me.

"maya, what are you doing?" riley says tugging at my shirt sleeve.

i look down at her and smile but look back at the crowd of interested people without replying.

"I KNOW A LOT OF YOU ARE CONFUSED ABOUT ME AT THE MOMENT." i say, "AND I KNOW THAT A LOT OF YOU DON'T KNOW WHATS GOING ON. I AM ABOUT TO SAY SOMETHING THAT HAS ONLY JUST BECOME REALITY TO ME AND ALTHOUGH MANY PEOPLE ARE SCARED OF TELLING PEOPLE AND HIDE AWAY, I AM NOT GOING TO LET IT CONTROL MY LIFE. I AM GOING TO TELL YOU. AND I'M NOT SCARED." i take a deep breath, "I HAVE CANCER… YOU HERE THAT I'M NOT SCARED OF YOU."

i look down at both riley and lucas, both of which are smiling back at me. my best friend, and the boy who i… love.