A/N:Sorry for the confusion. I proof on word before I upload my chapters here and for some reason it deleted ' name throughout which I was not aware of. Thank you MLN for pointing it out. Don't be afraid to let me know what you think, there is a lot of you out there. Enjoy!
"Great. I'll give her the good news. Thanks Jeanine," Elliot said and hung up the phone.
"Give who the good news?" Olivia replied coming back into the kitchen with Noah.
"You," he smiled giving her a kiss and taking Noah. "My apartment finally sold."
"Wow that's great," she replied as she went about making some tea.
"Plus," Elliot started waiting for her to turn to face him, "We got the full asking price."
Her mouth dropped slightly, she was shocked, "Don't joke around with me."
"I'm not," he smiled, doing nothing to help his case when she gave him her look with the raised eyebrow. "I swear, Liv. I'm being serious."
"That's amazing," she set her cup down and made her way back to Elliot and giving him another kiss. "I never thought it would sell and I honestly didn't think we'd make any money off of it."
"Well believe it," he smirked and kissed her again. "Now we can put this place on the market and start looking for a bigger place." He saw the unsure expression come across her face and felt the need to reassure her, "Only if that's what you still want to do. We don't have to move right away if you don't
want to. The baby will be fine in our room for a couple of months."
She loved him for doing that and always allowing her to make decisions on her terms but he wasn't understanding this time. "No, El. I want to move before the baby comes. I just..." she trailed off and looked down at her shoes and they blurred as the tears welled in her eyes.
"What is it Liv?" He asked her softly, lifting her chin so he could look into her eyes. Seeing the tears and watching as she fought so hard to keep them at bay broke his heart.
She let her head rest against the palm of his hand cupping her cheek and took strength from him, "I just want to make sure there's going to be a baby for us to move for."
"Liv," he practically begged. "You can't think like that... You just can't. Don't you think I have all the same worries running through my head like they do in yours?" She looked at him shocked by the raw emotion in his voice and eyes but didn't have time to respond before he started again. "I know how you think. I know you're scared and I know you worry that something bad is going to happen. I think all of the same things you do but I'm doing the best to be positive and believe in our child and it makes it so much harder to be positive if you're constantly thinking the worst."
Olivia just stared at him as she processed his words and dropped her head, "I'm not trying to be negative. Really, I'm not."
Elliot sighed and his shoulders sagged. He wasn't trying to make her feel bad or guilty about what she was feeling and he realized that's what had happened. "I didn't mean to yell or make you question what you're thinking and feeling, I just ... I guess I just wanted you to know that I understand you and that I'mtrying my hardest to be positive, for both of us."
She finally looked up at him and she knew this was hard on him but it didn't even compare to what is was doing to her, "Don't you think I wish it was easy and simple? I wish this pregnancy was a sure thing, that there weren't going to be complications and that the baby would be safe and healthy. But Elliot, this isn't some fantasy world that we're living in. This is real life. This pregnancy, this baby," she said resting her hand over their unborn child, "They aren't guaranteed. There's risks ... Very high risks that something could happen to this baby, but even with all of that, I believe in this baby."
"I'm sorry," he said guiltily.
She nodded her head and wiped away some of the tears that were making their way down her cheeks, "I have everything I've ever wanted and I'm just waiting for the day to come where it gets taken away."
"Liv," he whispered as he pulled her to him and wrapped his arm tightly around her. She buried her face in his chest and he rubbed her back, trying his best to soothe her. "I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to upset you."
She felt Noah's hand tangling in her hair and she couldn't help but smile. She had everything she could possibly ever need or want right there in her arms and she was allowing her mind to get the better of her. "I know," she finally sighed, picking her head off of his chest.
He wiped away some of the tears, "I'm sorry for laying all of that on you."
She shook her head, "Don't apologize for being honest with me. I want us to talk about things like this. Keeping it bottled up and putting on a front like everything is okay doesn't work for us."
He nodded in agreement, "I know. You've just been dealing with all of your own worries and I didn't want to add mine to the pile. I wanted to be strong for you."
"And you are," she encouraged him, touching her lips to his. "But it's okay to have moments of weakness, I'm here for you. Even the strongest and bravest man I know needs to talk about his feelings once in a while and that's okay," she smiled and kissed him again.
He brushed some hair out of her eyes and kissed her forehead, "Thank you for always being there for me. I don't know what I would do without you."
"I feel the same with you. I'm so thankful every single day that I have you in my life," she kissed his cheek and turned her attention towards Noah, "You all ready to go to Mommy's doctor's appointment?"
Noah just smiled and babbled back to her as he reached out for her.
"I got the diaper bag," Elliot said throwing the strap to the manlier backpack version he insisted on getting.
"Is his car seat still in the car?" She asked over her shoulder as she opened the front door.
"Yeah, I carried him in last night," he replied arming the alarm and following her out, locking the door behind him.
"So, I hear congratulations are in order?" Dr. Childs smiled walking into the room.
"Yes," Olivia smiled looking over to Elliot whose smile mirrored hers, "We got married."
"That's wonderful," she replied, taking a moment to look over Olivia's chart, "Did you have a honeymoon?"
"We did," Elliot chimed in, "It was a good vacation."
"Good for you guys," Dr. Childs smiled taking a seat on her stool.
"Do you want to take Noah out so she can do the ultrasound?" She asked Elliot as rolled the machine over.
"Actually, you should be far enough along that we can go right through your abdomen. If you just want to roll your shirt up a little we can take a look at the baby," she informed Olivia and Elliot took his seat again.
Olivia rolled her shirt up and pushed the waist band of her jeans down just a little bit.
"This might be a little cold," Dr. Childs warned squeezing some of the gel on Olivia's stomach, "Okay, let's get started."
Elliot held Olivia's hand and watched the screen as their baby appeared and Dr. Childs pointed out the tiny little arms and legs that had formed, "The baby is about two inches long now and weighs in at just about a half an ounce."
"The baby is that small and I already feel like I gained so much weight," Olivia sighed and Elliot chuckled.
"You're right in the normal range, you've actually only gained five pounds. A lot of what you're feeling is the fluid that's surrounding the baby so the bloating sensation makes it seem like you've gained more than you actually have," she informed Olivia, putting her mind at ease.
"Uh, do you think we could hear the heart beat?" Elliot asked . The sound of their baby's heartbeat was going to be the only sound that would ever be able to put their minds at ease.
"That shouldn't be a problem, let me just..." she trailed off moving the transducer over her stomach and turning up the sound so that the room was filled with the sound of the baby's heart beat.
He heard Olivia let out a breath and she laced her fingers with his.
"Sounds good, 150 beats per minute," she told them clicking off the sound and cleaning off the transducer.
Elliot handed Olivia some tissue and she wiped the remaining gel off of her stomach before sitting up and pulling her shirt down.
"How have you been feeling?" Dr. Childs asked Olivia as she marked some things down in her chart.
"Great actually. I've been relaxing like you said and have been keeping the stress down," she told and ignored the look she was getting from Elliot.
"You going to tell her, or should I?" He chimed in and was met by a stern look from Olivia but he wasn't going to back down from this one.
"What do I need to know?" Dr. Childs asked breaking through the starring match that was currently taking place in the room.
"She's starting back to work in about a week," he told and felt Olivia's eyes burning a hole through the back of his head, but he didn't care. This was her life and the life of their unborn child he was dealing with and he had to make sure that they would be okay.
Dr. Childs nodded her head. Her patient was never the one to sit back and do nothing and anyone who was expecting her to do that was delusional. "I'm alright with that as long as you aren't running around on the street chasing the bad guys. Light duty, staying in the office, and keeping the stress level down and I don't think we should have a problem. You also need to make sure you're eating or at least snacking throughout the day. I know you're busy but you need to put yours and the baby's health first. If for whatever reason there's a change and working is affecting you and the baby then we'll discuss your options then."
"Okay," Olivia said instantly, "My only priority is this baby, and I will do everything in my power to keep this baby safe and healthy."
Dr. Childs nodded her head in understanding and grabbed her chart, "Make sure to schedule an appointment for about four weeks. We'll be able to tell the sex by then if that is something you two would like to know. I'll print you out a couple of the photos from the ultrasound and a copy of the video if you'd like to show your family."
"Do you think now would be a good time to tell the rest of our family? I know the risk of miscarriage decreases the further along I get so..." Olivia asked before left the room.
"Everything is perfect. The baby is healthy and strong. There hasn't been any complications thus far and nothing is giving me any cause for concern. I think now would be a good time to tell them, let them share in your excitement," Dr. Childs encouraged her and also helping to put Olivia's worries at ease.
"Okay, thank you," Olivia nodded and with that left the room.
Olivia got off the table, fixing her pants and taking Noah from Elliot. She brushed past him and went for the door but Elliot grabbed her arm before she could open it.
"Wait," he sighed and she stopped walking, "Don't be like that, I'm only looking out for you and the baby."
Her resolve softened, she knew why he had outed her but it still felt like he went behind her back, "I know that, but I feel like sometimes you see me as this weak and fragile person now. I'm still the woman I was before I got pregnant."
He took her hand and pulled her closer to him, "Liv, you are the strongest woman I know, pregnant or not. I think you forget how well I know you though. You could be on your death bed and you'd still be out on the street tracking down perps. Nothing ever holds you back because you won't let it, but this time you need to take a step back."
"I just..." She sighed trying to find the right words, "I don't want to lose the respect I have at being CO because I can't do anything. It's already hard being a woman in what's considered a man's job, but I'm damn good at it and I deserve to be CO."
He understood her and knew how hard it was for her to be told that she has to cut back. He used to live for the job just like she did but that's not what either of them lived for now. "No one is going to lose respect for Badass Benson," he smiled and she chuckled. "You were an amazing detective and you're an amazing CO. Being pregnant is not going to change that. You can still do everything you used to do except go out on calls and you're right, you are damn good at your job and once the baby comes you can go back to being you're normal badass self." She smiled and he loved that smile more than anything. She lit up his world and he was just happy that he could make everything okay for her.
Olivia gave him a kiss and he wrapped his arms around her, resting his head in the crook of her neck. She ran her free hand through his hair letting it play with the scruff on the back of his neck, "I love you."