Wow, it's sure been some time. I hope everyone had a great christmas and a boozy new year. I've finally finished 'new kid on the block' which leaves me free to concentrate on this one and believe me i've been thinking of ideas and this should be finished in 3 or 4 chapters.
Also, thank you to everyone who has been patient with me and this fanfic. I guess I better get started.

Not Everything Is As It Seems

Jack rushed through the doors followed by Jacob and Daniel.

"I need to find reception. Where the hell is reception?"

"Uh Jack"

"WHAT Daniel?"

Daniel pointed to the front of Jack.

"It's right in front of you."

Jack bit his lip to stop him from saying something sarcastic.

"Thank you."

Jack walked over to reception whilst Jacob and Daniel sat down. Daniel watched as Jack kept on hitting the bell. Daniel faced Jacob.

"Do you think he's trying to get the nurses attention or do you think he's just generally entertained by the bell?"

"Hopefully the first one because now is not the time to be amused by something that goes ding."

Jack kept on hitting the bell. He stopped when he thought he heard a female voice say his name. He shook his head and just put it down to old age. He began hitting the bell again.

"Jack!"

This time he knew he heard the voice and he recognised it. He turned his head and noticed Sam coming out of a room down the hall. He left the bell and ran down the hall to her. He rested his hands on her arms.

"Are you okay? Is the baby okay?"

Sam nodded.

"We're both fine."

Janet came out of the same room with a smile plastered on her face.

"Why are you smiling?"

Janet looked at Sam.

"Are you going to tell him or may I have the pleasure?"

"Janet..."

Jacks face fell as different ideas kept on popping up in his head. One of them clearly stuck though.

"God no. Please tell me we're not having twins. Oh my god. It's triplets. I think i'm going to faint."

Sam took Jacks hand and rubbed it with reassurance.

"No Jack. We're only having one baby."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Don't scare me like that. So, what did you want to tell me?"

By this time, Janet was in complete hysterics. She placed a hand over her mouth trying to control her laughter.

"I..uh..."

"She wasn't having contractions. She had wind."

Sam sent daggers flying at Janet.

"Sorry. I just couldn't control myself."

Jack looked at Sam.

"You had wind? As in you needed to fart?"

Sam went slightly red and welcomed the arrival of an out of breath Robert. His arms were full of baby items.

"Ok, I didn't know what sex the baby was, so I bought a mixture of blue and pink stuff. I got balloons..."

He handed Jack the balloons.

"And I got teddies and ba..."

Robert looked at Sam. His eyes went up and down as he examined her shape.

"You still look pregnant. Where's the baby? Don't tell me I missed the game for a false alarm?"

Roberts eyes met with Jacks. He just shrugged.

"Then I won't tell you."

"Can we go?"

Everyone looked at Sam.

"It's just if I see Janet smiling at me once again, I think I might kill her."

Jack wrapped his arm around Sam and they began to walk down the hall. Jacob, Daniel and Tom all stood as Sam and Jack approached them. Jacob was the first to say something.

"Is everything okay sweetheart?"

"Yeah. Just a false alarm. Also, thank you for calling me sweetheart. I could get used to that."

Jacob smiled.

"I take it by your humour that everything is fine Jack."

Tom looked around but seemed a little confused.

"Everything okay dad?"

"Just a little thing really but, where's your mother?"

Janet and Sam looked at each other.

"Oh crap."

(Ice Cream Parlour)

Sam watched from Jacks car as Janet talked to the waitress.

"I can't believe you ditched my mom."

"I didn't really have a choice. I thought I was going into labour."

"Still, you ditched my mom. Your life is going to be hell."

Sam turned her head to look at Jack.

"I don't have to marry you. That way your mom will never have to see me and she can see her grandchild whenever he or she is with you."

"Yes, but you'll die a lonely and old spinster. The baby will favour me and forget all about you."

Sam smacked Jack playfully on the arm and went back to watching Janet. She looked back at Daniel who was asleep in the back. She smiled, deciding to take revenge.

"Hey Daniel."

Daniels eyes fluttered open.

"What?"

"Congratulations."

Daniel sat up with curiosity.

"Thanks, but what exactly are you congratulating me on?"

"The baby."

Sam wanted to smile at Daniels priceless 'deer caught in a headlights' look but continued to stay in the act.

"Oh my god. She hasn't told you yet. Daniel i'm so sorry."

Daniel opened the door and dashed into the ice cream parlour.

"Cost of getting revenge - losing a friend. The look on Daniels face - priceless."

Jack looked at Sam.

"You're pure evil. They could break up over this."

"Nope."

"How do you know?"

"Because neither of them are as childish as you."

Janet walked out of the ice cream parlour with a look of thunder on her face. She knocked on Sams window.

"Hi."

"You told him I was pregnant?"

"Maybe. It's just a little white lie."

"Little. I thought he was going to die in the middle of an ice cream parlour. I've been divorced. I don't want to be a widow."

Daniel got into the car.

"I'm going to kill you."

"I'm pregnant Daniel. Therefore you are not allowed to cause me stress or kill me. Just ask your wife."

Daniel looked at Janet.

"Nothing's stopping you after the baby is born."

"Except you'll leave my child with no mother and Jack as a single parent. Now, whilst that makes a great idea for a comedy sitcom, that's not ideal for real life."

Tom walked over to the car with Elizabeth.

"I found her. She was in an overpriced furniture store."

"I can't believe you just left me. What if something had happened to me?"

"Mom, Sam thought she was in labour."

"Well, she should be positive. They could've at least come and got me."

Sam looked at Janet.

"Maybe next time I should just give birth in the ice cream parlour."

Janet smiled and shook her head. Jack clapped his hands together.

"I think we've had enough excitement for today. I reckon we should go home and eat food."

"Where's everyone else?"

"Robert drove them to my house just incase you turned up there."

"Why would I go to your house when i have a perfectly good house of my own?"

'shame you can't think of that point more often.'

Jack bit his tongue and mentally slapped his thoughts.

(Jacks House)

Teal'c flicked through the tv channels, eventually settling for entertainment tonight.

"And we'll be back with more information on the new series of desperate housewives shortly."

Robert nudged Teal'c.

"Hey Murray. Have you seen that show?"

"I have not."

"You should. Got some really hot babes."

"Indeed."

Jack and Sam walked through the door followed by Daniel and Janet.

"We found her. Dad has taken her home because she's in a fowl mood. And she keeps on blaming Sam and Janet for leaving her and I think Janet might of killed her."

Sam and Janet headed for the garden.

"Where are they going?"

"To discuss wedding stuff."

"I found this great site for ideal wedding songs."

"I told you, me and Jack have already picked our song. Plus the one where i'm dancing with my dad and he's dancing with his mum."

"Tell me then."

Sam smiled.

"It's a surprise. You'll have to wait till the wedding."

"Surely you can tell me the other two?"

"Ok. Dad picked 'I hope you dance?' by Leann Womack for me and him. Jack was originally meant to be dancing to 'wind beneath my wings' which his mum picked. He hates that song though, so now he's picked 'a song for mama' by boys to men."

"Good choices."

(Inside)

Teal'c and Robert were still watching entertainment tonight.

"We have with us the lovely Eva Longoria who plays Gabrielle."

Robert nudged Teal'c again.

"She's the hottest."

"Indeed."

Sorry it's so short. I don't have a huge amount of time at the moment but my chapters will get longer.

Please R & R